Galactic Bandits Compilation

by Duke Campbell

  On the way back, Arkei, Straya, and Reverie all walked beside him with lustful confidence. They touched him on the walk, letting him know how proud they were of him without saying a word.

  Once they reached Bulkey’s trading table, he quickly placed a Universal Translator chip on the table. He then waved off Regan. “Just take it and get out of here.”

  And while the remark was enticing to Regan, he didn’t trust it, and he told Bulkey so.

  “I insist on paying,” he said. “I want to be in the clear for this chip. No debt and interest later.”

  “You’re a fool,” Bulkey said.

  “I’m done playing your games. Give me a price.”

  Bulkey glared at him.

  “800 doubloons,” he grumbled.

  Regan looked at Arkei who had the other pack of goods, and she retrieved more Brute jewels from it that were worth about that much. Bulkey didn’t touch them, just looked at them on the table and nodded.

  “We’re settled,” he said.

  The group started to walk away, but then Bulkey called back to Regan.

  “Answer me one thing though.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why go through so much trouble for a common thief?”

  Regan looked at Straya and winked at her. “Because she’s my common thief.”

  With that, he put his arms around all three ladies and they made their way back to Arkei’s ship.

  Chapter Fifteen

  After they boarded, Arkei made her way to the command room to get the ship moving. Reverie joined her for company, while Straya and Regan went to collect Bob.

  Just before entering the prison room, Straya paused and looked deeply at Regan. Regan felt as if she was looking into him.

  “Again, you have showed a compassion and bravery that I’ve never seen,” she said. “You haven’t disappointed me once since capturing me, which is something I can’t say for most people, of any species. And especially for Class C warriors.”

  She stepped closer to him and brought his face to hers. She kissed him passionately.

  “I will fight by your side until the end,” Straya said, then she turned to open the door to the cells.

  This just keeps getting better.

  As soon as the door opened to the cell room, Bob started shouting at them. He was jumping up and down and pointing fingers.

  “Damn, what is with this guy?” Regan said. “Bob! Take it easy!”

  Regan raised his hands to signify a calming motion, but Bob wasn’t having any of it.

  Straya wasted no time, however, and pulled out a ray gun, zapping Bob to the back of his cell. He clanked against the bars and fell onto his face on the cell floor.

  “Not sure if that was necessary…” Regan started.

  “It wasn’t,” Straya said with a cheeky smirk.

  They unlocked the cell door and Straya lifted Bob up once again, carrying him over her shoulder like he was weightless. Regan got a good look at his face and noticed he was drooling on Straya’s leather vest.

  She wouldn’t like that, but Regan found it to be pretty humorous at the time.

  They headed back to the command room, where Straya set Bob on the ground. They all stood around him while Arkei revealed a tool that Regan had never seen before. It had a small tip with… well, he would call them tongs, but he knew that couldn’t be right.

  “What is that?” he asked Arkei as she took a knee near Bob’s head and held the tool close to his scalp.

  “Implanters,” she replied. “They’ll open his head and latch the Universal Translator chip onto his brain.”

  Screw that.

  “Er, cool,” Regan said. “And then they close it back up too?”

  “Of course.”

  “So you used that thing on my head.”

  “You wouldn’t be speaking my language if I hadn’t.”

  Well, duh.

  Regan then felt parts of his scalp for scarring or lumps, finding nothing. He hadn’t really thought about how the chip was inserted, but now he realized his journey in space began with open brain surgery.

  “Is this a germ-free zone?” Regan then asked. “Like, are there contaminants that could—”

  “He’ll be fine,” Arkei said as she applied the tool to the left side of Bob’s forehead.

  I wasn’t thinking about Bob, but I guess it’s too late for me now. That thing is firmly attached to my brain, along with whatever foreign matter came with it!

  The implanters were secured to Bob’s skin, then they used a tiny laser to open up his forehead, pulling out a piece of skull as if it were a wine cork.

  Straya then handed Arkei the Universal Translator chip, which Arkei simply loaded into one end of the implanters. It seemed that it would do the work on its own.

  “Did you two wash your hands?”

  They didn’t answer him. The chip was being sent through a tube now and fastened to Bob’s brain. Then the implanters replaced the skull cork, and the laser seemed to heal it all back into place. It was like a soldering iron, but for flesh and bone. And when the process concluded, there was no mark or blemish at all. Nobody would ever know.

  “Damn, Earth could use some of this technology,” Regan said.

  “Let’s hope they evolve enough to one day join us,” Arkei replied.

  Arkei then grabbed another tool and placed it against Bob’s chest.

  “And what’s that?” Regan asked.

  “It’s just gonna give him a little jolt,” Arkei said. “Just a fair warning, if we can’t quickly calm him down, then we’re stunning him again and putting him back on ice until we hand him over to Mephistopheles. I can’t have a hysterical passenger ruining the peace on my ship. Understood?”

  The group nodded their heads.

  She pressed a button on the tool and Bob jolted awake, on his feet in moments.

  He stared at each of them wide-eyed for only a brief instant, then started up again.

  “What’s going on?” he shouted. “What did you do to me? Who are you? Answer me!”

  Bob asked these questions one after another, leaving no one able to get a word in, though each tried. All except Reverie, who seemed rather amused.

  Regan stepped forward with his arms out.

  “Bob, calm down,” he said.

  “Who’s Bob? You got the wrong guy! Take me back home!”

  “You’re Bob. It’s just a temporary name I gave you until you could speak.”

  “I’m Tsukiya Fumihiro! I am a student at—”

  “Okay… Well, Tsuiyoko…”

  “Tsukiya Fumihiro!”

  “I can’t say that. Just let me call you Bob for now—”

  Bob kept on yelling, and Regan could tell the man was moments away from being ray gunned.

  Regan took in a deep breath and snapped, “Okay! Shut up, Bob, or else your ass is going back on ice and that’ll be that! No cool space adventure for you!”

  Bob stiffened his back, stood upright, raised his chest, lifted a finger, and for a moment the entire room thought he was about to protest.

  But Straya pointed a ray gun at him. “Make my day, little man.”

  Bob exhaled and dropped his finger, seeming to finally relent.

  Regan turned to the ladies and motioned for Straya to lower the gun, which she did.

  “I think Bob and I are going to hit the lounge, maybe crack open some of that pirate beer I looted, and go over a few things.” Regan then turned to Bob. “You aren’t in danger. Let’s just talk this over.”

  Regan waited for Bob to reply, but Bob said nothing. In fact, Regan noticed he wasn’t even looking at him at all, but at some spot on the wall nearby, his head tilted like a curious dog.

  Is he zoning out on me?

  Regan snapped his fingers. Bob focused back on Regan. He blinked hard and looked around.

  “Where am I again?” Bob asked more calmly. “Who’s Bob?”

  “Oh no,” Reverie said.

  They all looked at her.

  �
��I was worried this might happen,” she began. “Brains are always so tricky to fix, even for Empaths. It seems his brain functionality might be slightly… skewed.”

  “Are you guys talking about me?” Bob asked.

  “It could be a temporary thing,” Reverie continued. “But we may have fused some neurons together, causing a miscommunication in his short-term memory… among other things.”

  Bob chimed, “Among a whole lot of other things. I can see smells too.” He pointed at Reverie. “You’ve got a pink cloud around you.” He then turned a terrified gaze at Straya and took a step back. “You… It’s like a glob of demons are dripping off you.”

  “Bob,” Regan started.

  “My name is Tsukiya Fumihiro!”

  “Right, but we’re space buddies now, and I call you Bob, which you told me earlier you’re totally cool with. Take a walk with me.”

  Regan led Bob from the command room, stopped at the lockers to grab a bottle of space booze and two glasses, then led his new human counterpart to the lounge.

  He had a lot to explain.

  They sat down and Regan poured two glasses.

  “You kidnapped me,” Bob said, his tone accusative. He refused to pick up the glass.

  “Well, I didn’t, but yeah, you were kidnapped. But so was I! And I gotta tell ya, it’s not half-bad hanging around these space babes and going on adventures.”

  “I have a test,” Bob said.

  “A test? You… have a test?” Regan asked, confused by the sudden announcement.

  “A final exam, yes.”

  “Right, well, look, you’ve been frozen for a little while now. That test has likely come and gone.”

  Again Bob’s attention went right above Regan to a spot on the wall behind him. Then he started looking around the room with curiosity.

  Shit. This guy is brain dead.

  Regan took a sip, not expecting the beer to have such a strong burn to it. Maybe a stiff drink would sort Bob out?

  He nodded at Bob’s glass. “Dude, you gotta try this stuff.”

  Bob looked at the glass with curiosity then lifted it up, smelled it, and quickly set it back down.

  “I’m not old enough to drink,” he said. “What are you trying to do? Get me arrested?”

  God dammit.

  Regan leaned forward.

  “What’s the last thing you remember?” Regan asked him. “From before we woke you up again.”

  Bob thought about it for a moment.

  “I remember a blue woman. I was on a study break, playing a video game and she zapped me. I was in a cell… and then… Oh shit! That’s right, I died! Well, almost died, maybe? It’s odd… I was in Limbo, I think… just floating and waiting… unable to die… And now I’m here. Where is here, again?”

  So yeah, he may have had it a bit rougher than me so far.

  “Here is on the way to Mephistopheles’s compound on the outskirts of the galaxy,” Regan said simply. He thought that sentence would sound strange coming from his mouth, but in fact it felt quite standard at this point.

  Bob thought about it, but then his eyes went wide and he stood swiftly. “I have a test!”

  “Yeah, yeah. Have a seat.”

  Bob gasped. “I have a final exam on Monday! If I’m not back before then, my mother is going to kill me—”

  “Bob!”

  “My name is—”

  “I know! I call you Bob! We’re space buddies now! Don’t you get it?”

  Bob paced back and forth in a panic. Regan downed his glass. It was actually pretty good. A lot better than the time he was having at the moment.

  “Have a seat,” Regan said, conjuring up the last of his patience. “Have a drink.”

  “I’m not old enough—”

  “I know. But who gives a shit? We’re in space. We are literally trillions of miles from Earth, from your test, and from your mom.”

  Bob finally sat across from Regan but still didn’t pick up his glass. “You don’t understand. If I’m alive, and I don’t ace my test, my mother will find me, and she will…”

  There was panic and fear on Bob’s face. Regan had to figure out a way to spin this.

  “When you were brought aboard, you had a lot of books with you. Arkei took all the items she found you with.”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, we’re going to see Mephistopheles, and he is looking for a… representative… of sorts, for the human race. It’s gonna be you, Bob. This will be a huge honor and your mother’s going to be beyond proud.” Regan slid the glass closer to him. “Drink on it, dude.”

  Bob considered the words. He scratched his head and sat back in his seat. He then looked at the glass of booze on the table in front of him and lifted it up.

  “This will be the first time I ever tried alcohol.”

  “I don’t think there’s a drinking age limit in space.”

  They both laughed, and Bob took a sip. He coughed a bit, then drank the rest.

  “Well, maybe it won’t be so bad,” Bob said. “Maybe before I become the representative of humanity, I can meet some space women and go on grand adventures and not even think about finals for a while.”

  “Now we’re talking, Bob.”

  Bob grabbed the bottle and poured himself more, took another sip, coughed more, then took another. “But maybe I don’t have to be a representative,” Bob began. “Why don’t we just kidnap someone else?”

  Wait, wait, wait.

  “Because maybe,” Bob continued. “I too am destined to wander the stars and enjoy myself without an authority figure looking over me.”

  This ain’t headed in the right direction.

  “Maybe, I don’t want to be important or smart or responsible at all!” Bob said, standing up triumphantly. “That’s what I’ve been my whole life! Maybe it’s time for a change. Maybe this is the perfect opportunity to just start over entirely. To live my life truly free!”

  Dammit! Maybe the ladies were right and we should have just left him on ice.

  Bob finished his drink with his head arched upwards looking at the ceiling, and he kept it there for a time. Regan was about to convince Bob why it had to be this way—had to be him.

  But really, I know I’m just dooming you.

  Regan felt a bit uneasy, but he didn’t say anything because Bob was still looking up at the ceiling.

  Did he zone out on me again? This is gonna get old real fast.

  “Bob?”

  Bob snapped back to life. He looked at Regan quickly and with great surprise. He looked around the room, then down at the glass in his hand. He dropped it.

  “Where am I?” he exclaimed. “I’m too young to drink!”

  Regan exhaled in relief.

  Thank god.

  “Yeah, buddy, you’re too young to drink. Let’s take you somewhere to sleep it off, okay?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  As Arkei’s ship approached the moon where Mephistopheles’s compound was located, she halted their speed before descending, hovering just above. She turned to the group who stood around her in the command room.

  “When we land,” she said. “I will leave the ship with Bob only. The rest of you must stay here. No exceptions.”

  The group looked at her with confused expressions, especially Regan, who even seemed concerned. Arkei realized that perhaps she was giving herself away. She was, in fact, afraid. She was returning to the place where Mephistopheles raised her, the place she dreaded more than anywhere else. The place where she felt insignificant.

  Mephistopheles had made sure of it.

  Regan had shown her so much, and she had gained more confidence while being with him than she had ever thought possible. He had introduced her to so many experiences, sexual, moral, and otherwise, but now she felt herself cowering again.

  She had to be honest. She had to tell them the situation they were in.

  “I want you all to listen to me,” she began. “When I was born with my defect, the Hiveroth race wanted more tha
n to banish me. They wanted to destroy me. My parents hid me from everyone as long as they could, but the hive mind becomes receptive at an early age, and this ability prevented me from staying hidden.”

  “What did you do?” Straya asked.

  “I ran away. I ran into the wild and tried to evade them. But still the hive mind ability allowed them to find me. I could stay days ahead, but I knew I could never really outrun them. That’s when I ran into Mephistopheles. He was on the planet recruiting a Hiveroth male for an experiment, and even though he had already acquired who he was looking for, he agreed to help me. My deformity and willingness to flee the hive fascinated him, so I gave myself to him in hopes of safety.”

  “Did he—” Regan started, but Arkei cut him off. She knew what he wanted to say. She was learning to read the emotions on his face.

  “No, he treated me very well, in fact. He went with me back to my village and told the race to sever the hive mind connection. In return, he’d pay them for my release.”

  Arkei felt the handle of the ray gun on her hip. She turned her head upward, lost in thought. She had never said those words out loud to anyone before. Reverie approached her to console her, but Arkei lifted an arm as if to say she was all right.

  “He trained me to be a great fighter,” Arkei continued. “He taught me to shoot and to pilot a ship. Eventually I realized what he was training me for. I was to recruit, or rather, kidnap, a member of several undocumented species for his museum. I didn’t know then what the museum was for.”

  The group could guess the purpose of the museum, but Arkei continued telling them, anyway. As much as it hurt, it felt good to get this off her chest.

  “Mephistopheles is obsessed with undocumented species, and his museum is where he studies them. At first, I understood his plan, to learn as much as he could about foreign cultures and habits. He claimed his intention was to make it so everyone could understand each other in the universe one day. An end to war and famine and all the other disasters that plague the universe. But his experiments became… well…”

  Arkei paused as she looked at Bob. She suddenly felt a sadness for him. But she had no choice. She had to get out of her debt. She couldn’t keep doing this. If she didn’t hand him over, he would take her out, and then someone else would replace her in her duties and just find another human.