Galactic Bandits Compilation

by Duke Campbell

  Regan felt bad for him. He wondered how long Mephistopheles had him frozen. He also wondered if it was Arkei who was the one who kidnapped him for Mephistopheles, but he ignored this line of thinking. It was a different time for everyone.

  Reverie put her hand on the Voltek’s shoulder. Regan knew she was calming him down, and it was working. The rise and fall of his skinny chest was becoming more relaxed and evenly paced.

  He looked at the crew as if in slow motion, taking each one in thoroughly. Then he nodded, introducing himself.

  “Name’s Posha,” he said. His voice was high pitched, and the words came out very quickly. Much more quickly than his movements. It surprised all of them. “Nice ship you have here,” he continued. “Running a little rough though? She needs a tuneup. I can feel it through my toes. May I?”

  Is he already asking to start working on the ship, despite having just been thawed?

  Regan cleared his throat and introduced himself. “I’m Regan, the captain of this ship, and by all means. But first… Would you have any experience dealing with mob-types?”

  Posha stared at Regan for a moment. “Can’t say I do. I never left my planet until I was whisked away and experimented on by that strange old man.”

  “That’s fine. Have fun with the ship.”

  The lizard creature nodded, smiled, then started to wobble off. His body movements were so incredibly slow that Regan thought it must be exhausting trying to move anywhere.

  “Shouldn’t we question him before he starts tinkering with the ship?” Arkei asked under her breath, eyeing the lizard suspiciously.

  Reverie giggled and shook her head. “I can sense he is good and honest. He means well.”

  “Yeah, not to mention he’s a Class A species too,” Regan added.

  Regan thought of Squit, and how her first inclination once she was released was to return to exactly what she was doing before, what she loved, which in her case was cooking. Perhaps this was just another example of a creature finding their place after being frozen for so long. It probably felt good to stretch those thin limbs and return to work. So if he wanted to tune up the ship, why shouldn’t he?

  “Well, we have a new crew member,” Regan said. “Now let’s check out another pod.”

  They looked at the next one for only a moment when Straya gasped at it.

  “Oh shit!” she said, her hands flying up to her chest. “It’s the Bearded Butcher!”

  Arkei dashed in front of the crew so she could place her face against the glass and see for herself.

  “No shit?” she replied, a fascination to her voice. “Wow, it really is! I thought he escaped from prison for uncharted territory!”

  “Everyone did,” Straya said.

  Straya and Arkei turned to Regan then, wearing expressions of caution.

  “This guy is really dangerous,” Straya said.

  “Honestly, we should just put him down,” Arkei replied. “We can stop the life support system with these buttons.” She pointed to a series of controls on the cryopod.

  Regan considered it, wondering how secure the pod was. After all, Squit got out of hers and caught the entire ship off guard. What would happen if a more dangerous alien could do that?

  “Just how secure is this pod?” Regan asked.

  “Lucky for us, this is a highly secure containment pod,” Arkei said. “No way it’s opening up on accident no matter how hard it gets banged up.”

  Well, that’s a relief.

  “Let’s hold on to him for a special occasion,” Regan said.

  Straya scoffed. “What kind of situation would warrant the universe’s most notorious killer?”

  “I don’t know. But let’s hope we never find out.”

  The crew approached the last of the cryopods on the ship, and Reverie tried to bring up the details on the screen, but it was cracked and wouldn’t display anything properly. She pressed her hand against the pod and closed her eyes. When she opened them again her face was full of sadness.

  “I don’t detect any life coming from this pod,” she said.

  “That’s too bad,” Straya said. “So all we got was a lizard and a squid girl from the great Mephistopheles’s museum. I expected something more exciting.”

  An alarm of sorts sounded, resulting in both Arkei and Straya taking on a defensive posture. Calico shook her head, saying, “It’s an incoming call. Nothing to worry about… I hope.”

  The group rushed back to the bridge.

  Tookie’s face appeared on the screen right as Regan was taking his seat. Mr. Tongue looked nervous and sweaty, but maybe he always did. He was a greasy slimeball, after all.

  “How we doing, Took?” Regan asked.

  “Well, the mob goons arrived,” Tookie said. “And they were coming in hot. Whatever they said they were gonna do, they were gonna do it more aggressively than they let on.”

  “You seem like you made it out okay,” Regan noted.

  “Ole Tookie has some tricks of his own,” he said and smiled, his tongue falling to the other side when he did so. “I didn’t trust the approach, so I jammed their communications and hit ‘em with a stall blaster.”

  “A what?” Regan asked.

  Tookie laughed.

  “As smart as you are, you sure know little. A stall blast allows me to shut down their electric signals for a while, rendering them inactive and powerless.”

  “Oh, like an EMP,” Regan said.

  “Whatever that means to you pal, as long as you get the point,” Tookie said. “Anyway, I pinpointed their signal before shutting them out, and latched onto the coordinates from where their orders came from.”

  “Salvato…”

  “You know it,” Tookie said with a grin. “I know where that mob bastard is hiding, and since he would have just let his goons destroy my filling station, I have no problems with handing this information right over to you. You might just be crazy enough to go after him.”

  I feel like being that crazy is definitely the course of action I want to take.

  “I’m sending the coordinates over to you,” Tookie said as he pressed some buttons on the control panel in front of him. “I’d like to point out that these coordinates are for a general sector, not an exact placement. But if I keep working at it, I can nail down the exact location.”

  Regan looked around the bridge and saw his crew watching him. They were awaiting his next command, even though he could tell they knew what the order would be.

  “Tookie, thanks for your help,” Regan said. “I’m sorry we had to pull you into this.”

  “You saved my ass! I’m happy to help.” And with that, Tookie signed off.

  “Team, we’re taking this fight to Salvato,” Regan said. “If anyone has concerns, speak them now.”

  Straya didn’t wait for any replies, immediately entering the coordinates. Calico didn’t hesitate to engage the FTL drive.

  “Punch it,” Regan said.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Regan sat in the captain’s chair on the bridge of his ship, pondering his decision to head directly for his enemy.

  Part of him was thrilled about the idea. A personal handoff with the mobster himself—the big bad Salvato. He knew it was dangerous. Salvato would certainly not be in a good mood either, considering the bait and switch Regan pulled with his coordinates.

  But let him be angry. His goons would have tried something, and Regan knew it. He could feel it. He thought of the way Tookie described them—coming in hot. Regan didn’t trust it, and now he would take the confrontation to the mobster’s turf, on his own terms.

  This upcoming test was new territory for Regan. It involved intergalactic politics, which he had zero experience in. He had stepped into a larger playing field. And while he felt good about his abilities, he knew he had to be careful.

  Most importantly, he had to stay focused.

  “What will you say to him?” Arkei asked.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about that.”

 
“And?”

  “And… I’m not quite sure yet. Probably something like, ‘Here’s your cube, now fuck off.’”

  The crew chuckled.

  “Yeah, that would go over really well,” Straya commented.

  Regan smirked. “Oh? And what would you say to him?”

  “I’m not sure I would say anything. What I would really like to do is walk into whatever room he’s in, grab him from wherever this lazy piece of shit is sitting, and kick his ass.”

  “Well, there’s no surprise,” Arkei said.

  “I’m serious!” Straya said. “This little mobster thinks he can do whatever he wants. People like that need a good kick in the ass.”

  “I agree with that point,” Regan said. “But I imagine that won’t end well for you.”

  Straya flexed her arms. “You don’t think I can take him?”

  “I’m confident you could,” Regan said. “But I’m also confident that he’ll be surrounded by guards. And not just in the room he’s in, but in the hallway, around the building, and everywhere else.”

  “In all seriousness,” Calico said. “The guards will make this a lot more difficult for us. They’ll be on the lookout for this ship, and when they realize it’s on their turf and not where we told them, we are likely in for some heat.”

  Calico had clearly been thinking the same thoughts as Regan. She knew the danger of their situation and knew that it would be on all of them to get out alive.

  “What is your suggestion for when we arrive?” Regan asked her.

  “Well, I hope we don’t have to wait long for the exact location, because this ship will get some attention, and it’s likely that Salvato will have spies in the area. But I imagine trying to find a low, less populated area, maybe a parking garage of some type where we can hide out.”

  That made sense to Regan. Storing the ship somewhere out of sight was the best they could do at this point he assumed.

  “And how long before we arrive?”

  “Just a few minutes,” Calico said.

  Regan rubbed his hands together and looked around at his crew. They were all strapped in and waiting patiently, but he knew they were nervous.

  Regan had an idea.

  “Squit, would you mind cooking us a meal to eat right here on the bridge?” Regan asked. “I think food will put us in the right mindset.”

  Squit made a happy noise then disappeared from the bridge. Regan didn’t see Bob leave with her, but she must’ve carried him away in her tentacles, because he was no longer in his seat.

  He then noticed that Posha wasn’t on the bridge either. He pressed a button on his chair that opened up the ship intercommunications channels, and said, “Posha, this is your captain. Please come to the bridge. We’ll be eating here while everything’s still quiet.”

  There was no reply, and Regan wondered how long it would actually take the lizard to get to the bridge. It could be awhile.

  Arkei stood up. “I can see him on the ship’s monitoring system,” she said. “He’s moving about one foot a minute. I’m just going to go grab him.”

  Regan nodded at Arkei as she left the bridge.

  It felt like only moments before the ship came out of its jump and they were in their target sector. But it wasn’t at all what Regan was expecting. It was, well, a traffic jam.

  A massive one at that. Tons of ships were all lined up on illuminated highways.

  Spaceways?

  They reminded Regan of how lights lined either side of the runways at airports, but these were floating and made a network of traffic.

  “Traffic in space?” Regan shouted. “How is that even a thing?”

  Calico and Straya both looked at Regan as if he were crazy.

  “Well, would you prefer a free for all?” Straya asked.

  “This is a busy area,” Calico added. “Of course there’s traffic.”

  Regan always thought spaceships could just go down or up or move around other ships at will. He thought about the prospect of traffic, and he guessed it made sense, but it caught him off guard.

  Ships whizzed by them in lanes from above, the lanes were stacked on top of each other, not only side by side. Horns honked too, which Regan thought was impossible in space, but apparently ships could broadcast their honking to neighboring ships.

  Of course that’s a thing.

  He imagined if he opened the communications line to the network of ships out there, he would probably get an earful of angry pilots. Trash talk from massive ships in space. It was like something out of a comic book.

  Calico tried several maneuvers to merge into the traffic lanes, but people were furious at her for trying to cut them off. She did a few jerks here and there and ended up in her own lane just underneath a massive line of traffic. Even Regan knew their ship wasn’t supposed to be here.

  “Whoops,” Calico said. “But, at least we’ll be out of sight, right? Nobody will find us in all this noise.”

  Regan supposed he couldn’t argue with that.

  Just then Squit arrived, her tentacles full of plates of steaming food.

  That was insanely fast.

  Calico told everyone to step aside from the center of the room, then she pressed a button on the wall which brought up a table and chairs.

  Squit made some squishy sounds as she set plates around the table with her reaching tentacles, which Bob translated. “She knew we were in a hurry, so she made something quick.”

  “Thank you, Calico,” Regan said.

  Squit served up the plates and everyone took a seat, including the newly arrived Arkei and Posha, who was being carried in her robotic arm. He looked very excited to be joining everyone on the bridge. His lizard-like tongue came out of his mouth and licked his lips.

  The food smelled amazing. Regan stood from his chair to make sure everyone else had their seats first. That was when he noticed Calico remained in the pilot’s chair.

  Regan was about to say something when Straya spoke first.

  “You gonna join us?” she asked.

  “Well, I thought I’d better stay at the wheel,” Calico said, almost shyly.

  “Put the damn thing on autopilot and join your crew,” Straya said, turning back without waiting for a reply.

  Regan noticed that Calico smiled a bit before getting up from her seat. Was Straya starting to warm up to her?

  Miracles really do happen.

  Squit made a series of sounds as she took her seat and picked up her utensils.

  “She is thrilled to be part of this crew, and is glad you enjoy her cooking so much,” Bob translated.

  “I, too, am glad to be here,” Posha stated quickly then took a very slow bite. Regan was confused how the creature’s mouth could move so fast for speaking, but then so slowly for eating.

  But as soon as he swallowed, Posha started rambling again.

  “People say you don’t dream in the cryopods, but I believe that I did,” he continued. “I believe that if I had been there much longer, I might have gone insane. Those things are not pleasant and are so cramped too! I have only now started to feel nice and stretched. Yes, I am glad to have been released from that horrible cryopod. And I feel even better to work on a fine ship such as this, and with a fine crew as well.”

  When Posha took another bite, Regan took that opportunity to speak.

  “Posha, tell me,” Regan started. “What have you been doing since you went to look at the engine earlier?”

  Posha finished chewing his food and slowly swallowed it before explaining, “Well, I just did some tightening in places. This is a wonderful ship, but it has gotten little use, it seems, just an occasional ride here or there, so with these few jumps it has endured a breaking-in period. I have been digging around to make sure it is all running smoothly.”

  “You weren’t messing with the engine while we were in the FTL jump, were you?” Straya asked.

  “Yes, indeed I was!” Posha said excitedly. “If you are careful, it is quite simple to expose engine parts whi
le the engine is in operation. It takes a steady hand, but yes, I was looking at the battery power and the antimatter modules, making sure it was all handling things as smooth as can be.”

  “And?” Calico asked.

  “And with a few modifications, this could be the fastest ship in the galaxy! It’ll take me some time though.”

  Regan liked the sound of that. But he didn’t like the sound of what came next.

  There was a subtle jolt that ran through the ship, followed by a blinking red light that Regan knew meant a call was coming through.

  It can’t be Salvato. Not yet.

  Regan looked at his crew, but of course he would answer it. Whoever it was already let them know they were there by slightly bumping into them outside.

  Regan pressed the button and stood before the screen.

  The screen appeared with a creature’s face that resembled a shark, but a thin shark with a strong jawline. The creature didn’t look at the screen, but at a monitor off to the side.

  “Well, well, well,” the shark-like creature said. “I didn’t expect to see your ship around these parts. The great Mephistopheles, leaving the comfort of his compound! How wonderful.”

  “I’m not Mephistopheles,” Regan replied sternly.

  The shark turned his face from the monitor and glared at Regan.

  “No, it seems you’re not,” he said with a twisted smile. “Yet you have his ship?”

  “That’s right,” Regan replied. “And how I came about it is my business.”

  “Oh, I see,” the creature said. “Well, one of my crew was kidnapped and absconded onto that ship. So that is my business! And your ship? It’ll make a nice payment for the inconvenience I suffered.”

  “I’ve got nothing to do with that.”

  “I don’t care who’s to blame anymore. All that matters to me is that I get what I’m owed!”

  The screen went black.

  Regan looked at his crew. They all awaited his order.

  “Dinner’s over,” he said. “Everyone to their posts.”