Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits

by Felicia Watson

  “What changed your mind?” David asked, unwillingly curious.

  “You did. Just now, really.” Brian leaned back against the wall and folded his arms, regarding him thoughtfully. “The passion that you have for your work. Most people—and I’m guilty of it as well—think of passion as hot, fiery, impulsive. But listening to you made me realize that passion can be a deep, warm, steady flame too. The kind of fire that keeps a man warm at night—or melts an ice wall that would drown a flashier spark. You’ve got that kind of passion in you. I was a fool to misjudge you that way.”

  “I take it you think I’ve got something you want,” David replied suspiciously.

  “Oh, I’m not the patient kind, not really. You are. And he needs that. And he wants you—he called your name once, when he came screwing me. Made it pretty damn clear to me, anyway.” Brian cocked his head. “Do you know the real meaning of the word ‘passion’?”

  “Suffering,” David said.

  Brian tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Suffering. And of course ‘compassion’—fellow suffering. You suffer for him, don’t you? I can’t do that, and that’s what he needs. Someone to share that, until he deals with what he needs to deal with himself.”

  “How do you know he’s got things to deal with?”

  Brian shrugged. “Man that closed off is that way for a reason.”

  “Seems like you’ve given him a lot of thought for someone who’s not interested.”

  “I didn’t say I wasn’t interested. I just know how things are.”

  “So what did you want from me?”

  “I just wanted to ask you some questions and maybe a favor.”

  David turned back to the big table he used as a desk and started putting his class’s latest projects into a neat pile. “You can ask. No guarantees I’ll answer.”

  “Well,” Brian breathed. “At least you’re honest. And I appreciate that. First off, Taff—you don’t mind if I call you ‘Taff’ do you?”

  David jerked around, a chill settling in his chest. “Yeah, I mind,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. “Don’t.”

  “Sorry.” Brian raised his hands in apology. “I just heard that was your nickname—or is it only Zach that calls you that?”

  “None of your fucking business,” David snarled. “And if that’s what you’re here for, to snoop around about Zach, then you can just piss off. I don’t talk about Zach.”

  “No,” Brian said with a smile. “I know. I’m not asking you to talk about him, if you don’t want to. I am asking if you could talk to him for me.”

  “No.”

  “David—just listen a minute.”

  “What are you, some kind of fucking reporter?” David swore.

  “I’m not a reporter. I am a journalist….”

  “Same damn thing. Get lost.”

  “No, it’s not. A reporter files a report. A journalist writes a story. Zach has a fascinating, important story to tell. People don’t understand what goes on when someone’s taken hostage. It happens so often nowadays, all over the world, and people have become numb to it. They need a real person to associate with it, someone whose name they recognize. Someone who’s real to them in a way that other people aren’t. A face they can recognize, identify with….”

  “Very noble,” David said sarcastically. “And I suppose you get nothing out of this?”

  “A story,” Brian admitted with a grin. “A sale, a byline. Hell, maybe a fucking Pulitzer. Yeah, I get something out of it. Zach will get something out of it, too, something he needs more than all the support and love and suffering you can give him. Closure.”

  “Bullshit closure,” David snapped. “He’ll get David Letterman and Oprah and Jay Leno and Larry King and every two-bit journalist who wants to jump on the bandwagon digging into his life. He won’t be able to walk down the street without some asshole trying to get his fucking picture or autograph. And why? Because he was tortured? No thank you. You stay the fuck away from Zach or so help me I will break your writing arm. Got it?”

  Brian held up his hands again. “I take it that’s ‘no’,” he said dryly. “I got it.” He regarded David thoughtfully. “It’s good you’re with him,” he said finally. “It doesn’t make it easier for me, but it’s good to know someone’s got his back. See you around.”

  “Not if I see you first,” David shot back, but Brian was gone.

  HE DIDN’T even bother to stop at home, just drove straight to Zach’s, seething all the way.

  One of the garage doors was open, the interior brightly lit against the deepening twilight. He pulled the car around to the side by the exterior entrance to Zach’s apartment, then walked back around to the front of the garage to look into the illuminated bay.

  Zach straddled a bench, holding a piece of equipment up to the light, frowning at the object in his hands. His hair had grown out some; a lock fell over one eye and he blew upward absently to get it out of his way. David had seen him do that a thousand times before, but never since his return; for a brief moment, he saw the fifteen-year-old Zach, tousled hair hanging in his eyes, the bright light limning shadows along his high cheekbones, elegant nose, and sharp jaw. Then Zach shifted on the bench and the illusion was lost, and it was Zach the man he was watching—his features still fine, but stronger and more defined now, the jaw shadowed with a day’s beard, the arch of the neck and curve of the shoulder strong with a man’s muscle.

  He must have made a sound or something, because Zach looked up at him, his crystalline blue eyes bright in the high-intensity lamps, and smiled, brighter than the lamplight. Fuck Brian, David thought, what’s not to be passionate about? And his bad mood disintegrated under the force of that thousand-watt smile. “What are you doing?” he asked, stepping onto the brickwork of the garage floor.

  “Trying to decide if I want to try and repair the alternator to the Mustang or try and find a replacement,” Zach said. “Either way’s a pain in the ass, but I think I’d rather try and fix it; it’s original equipment, and finding a decent substitute for a forty-year-old car isn’t going to be easy. With luck, it’s just something minor.”

  “You’ll fix it,” David said confidently.

  “How did your classes go?” Zach asked as he set down the alternator and turned his face up for David’s kiss.

  “Mmm…. Fine,” David said, deciding right then and there not to tell him about the visit from Brian. “Better now. You eat yet?”

  “No, I was waiting for you. DB brought over a slow cooker full of pot roast; I had to come down here to work because the smell was driving me nuts. And I had a late lunch at Maggie’s, too, so I wasn’t all that hungry. I am now.” He got up from the bench and put the alternator on the work-stand at the back of the garage, then turned back to David. “Ready?”

  David walked up to him, took his face in his hands, and kissed him fiercely. “Upstairs,” he said, his voice low and husky.

  “Whoa,” Zach said, and grabbed his wrists. “Something tells me it ain’t pot roast you’re hungry for.”

  “Nope.”

  Zach grinned and released his wrists, then reached behind him and hit the switch to close the garage door. “Don’t need to go upstairs for that,” he murmured. “Ever get fucked on the hood of a ’69 Mustang?”

  David shuddered and rested his forehead against Zach’s. “No, but I have the feeling that lack is shortly to be remedied.”

  “God, I love when you talk smart like that.” Zach ran his hands through David’s hair, pulling him in for another kiss.

  David chuckled deep in his throat and reached for the button on Zach’s jeans. Then he froze. “Shit,” he sighed.

  “What?” Zach drew back and studied him, frowning. “What’s the matter?”

  “No raincoats. No lube.” David reached up and smoothed his fingers over Zach’s furrowed brow. “Guess we’ll have to do the Mustang dance some other time.”

  “Got lube,” Zach said, and released him, heading back toward the workbench. Somethi
ng flashed in the air and David reached up automatically to catch a small jar of Vaseline. “I use it for metal parts, but it’ll do,” Zach said, heading back to David.

  “Yeah, but we still don’t have condoms, and even if we did, you couldn’t use that with it,” David objected. “It eats the latex.”

  “Who said we’re using condoms?” Zach’s grin was blinding. “Got the results from my blood tests last week in this morning’s mail.”

  David stared at him. “Zach….”

  “I have been waiting so damn long for this,” Zach said, reaching for the hem of David’s shirt and pulling it over his head without unbuttoning it, then starting work on the waistband of his khakis. “This is it, Taff. This is us, forever and always, right?”

  “Forever and always,” David agreed, running his hands over Zach’s chest as he toed off his shoes and socks and stepped out of his pants. He hiked himself up on the hood of the Mustang, his heels on the bumper, his knees splayed wantonly, and leaned back onto his elbows, eyeing Zach with a smoky gaze. Zach’s color was high as he fumbled with the buttons of his own jeans. David leaned forward and grabbed Zach by the T-shirt, dragging him down on top of him. “Face to face,” David murmured as he trailed kisses along Zach’s jaw and up toward his ear. “Skin to skin and face to face….”

  “I don’t know how,” Zach gritted out, his face flushed. He rested his hands on the hood of the car on either side of David’s hips and dropped his head so he couldn’t see the scorn in David’s eyes.

  “I do.” David chuckled again, tilting Zach’s face up to smile away his lover’s embarrassment. He slid down a little and wrapped his legs around Zach’s hips, using his heels to push Zach’s jeans down to the floor, and slid his hands over Zach’s rump and up under his T-shirt to run his hands over the ragged skin of Zach’s back.

  ZACH CLOSED his eyes, loving the gentle touch of David’s hands, the heat where their bodies rubbed together, the scent of David’s neck, David’s soft, rough breathing. David’s body shifted beneath his and then his hands were on Zach, the heaviness of the petrolatum warming and softening as David caressed him, and then he guided him gently in. Zach sank into his welcoming heat, and David pulled him closer, his mouth finding Zach’s, his warm, slippery hands sliding back up over the scars on Zach’s back, holding him, safe in the grasp of arms and legs and body. Zach buried his face in David’s neck as they moved together, came together, and lay together after, sated, nerveless, boneless.

  Finally David murmured into Zach’s ear, “I think I’m permanently stuck to the hood of this car.”

  “You’ll make a hell of a hood ornament,” Zach drawled, pulling back a little to look at him. “Ugh, I think I’m permanently stuck to you.”

  “Would that be so bad?”

  “No,” Zach said with a grin, “but I don’t think I can sell the Mustang with both of us as hood ornaments. The weight would throw off the engine’s torque.” He pulled away and went over to the side of the garage by the Mustang. He’d parked it in the bay nearest the interior car wash station, because when it had arrived, it had been covered with dust from its trip on the flatbed, and he’d wanted to wash it before starting to work on the engine. Now he ran warm water through the faucet into the floor drain, dampening a shop rag and wiping himself off. But an imp of the perverse made him turn up the pressure on the hose and whip around, shooting warm water all over the Mustang and David.

  David lunged for him, shouting, and Zach got him full in the face for a brief moment before David wrestled the hose from his hand and turned it on him. They chased each other around in the warm spray, fighting over control of the hose; then David upped the ante by grabbing the car shampoo Zach had used on the Mustang a couple of days before and squirting it at him. In moments they were both not only wet, but slippery and sudsy. “That’s one way to get you to take a bath,” David gasped just before Zach let him have it in the face again with the spray. He slipped and went down on the wet brickwork, laughing like a hyena.

  Zach slid down the side of the Mustang to sit beside him, laughing just as wildly. He peeled off his soaked T-shirt and wiped his face with it. “Not much point in leaving this on, is there?” he laughed, and handed it to David, who put it to the same use.

  “You realize all the rest of our clothes are soaked now too?” David asked, and tossed Zach’s shirt onto the sodden pile of clothes in front of the Mustang.

  “I’ve got a washer and dryer in the apartment,” Zach said. He reached over and slung an arm around David’s neck, hauling him across to sit in his lap. His other arm went around David’s waist. “That was fun,” he said peacefully.

  “Yeah.” David grinned and tilted his head back against Zach’s shoulder. “And we got the come washed off the car too.”

  “Yeah, like I was really worried about that,” Zach said dryly. “Taff, can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.” David twisted around to look at him. “What?”

  “How come you never pushed the face-to-face thing? I mean, it was good. Really, really good. I mean, you mentioned it maybe twice, but always kind of in passing, like ‘we gotta try that someday’ sort of thing. But you didn’t push it. Doesn’t it feel good to you that way? Cuz I gotta tell you—it felt real good to me.”

  “It felt great.” David rested his head back against Zach. “But it’s more… I don’t know. Intimate. You see everything that’s going on in your partner’s face then. And I thought—I thought maybe you weren’t ready for that. That you weren’t ready for that kind of intimacy. You know. Crap like that.”

  “What changed your mind this time?”

  David reached up and pulled Zach’s face down to kiss. Against his lips, he said, “‘Forever and always.’ Forever and always, Zach.”

  Zach’s heart gave a great thump and his arms tightened around David. “I think I’ve got it figured out,” he said softly. “About the love thing? Cuz I think I do love you, Taff. There isn’t gonna be anyone else, ever. Just you.”

  “I hope so,” David said softly, and kissed him, then got to his feet. “Come on, let’s get these clothes washed and some food in us.”

  They picked up their wet clothes and went up the inside staircase to Zach’s apartment, stopping by the little laundry unit to toss them in the washer, “Since they’re all full of detergent now, anyway,” said Zach. Then Zach found them both sweats and T-shirts. “If we stay naked we’re never going to get any food in us,” he told David, who just grinned in his sweet, sleepy way.

  “CAN I ask you a question?” Zach said over the pot roast.

  David took a swig of beer before answering, “Another one? You just asked me one a little while ago. Sheesh. Give a guy an inch and he takes a foot.”

  Zach flicked a carrot at him; David bobbed and caught it in his mouth. “Asshole.”

  “Dweeb. Go ahead.”

  “Who was the first guy you were ever with? The one in high school you never told anyone about?”

  David sighed. “Well, I promised I wouldn’t ever tell, but shit, high school was seven years ago… Matt Brewer.”

  “Matt Brewer? The quarterback from Wesley Community High School? Holy crap! He was gay??”

  “Obviously.” David snickered. “His mother hired me to tutor him so he’d pass math, or he’d blow his scholarship to UCo. He occasionally made jokes about gay boys in public, but I don’t think we’d had three study sessions before he was on his knees with my dick in his mouth. I mean, I knew I liked it from when Maggie and I fooled around, but God, what a rush when it was a guy doing it. If I hadn’t known about it already, I’d have known I was gay then.”

  “Matt Brewer. Matt Fucking Brewer. Damn.” Zach was shaking his head in wonderment. “I always wondered who it was you tossed Maggie over for. I mean, when I was a kid, I figured you guys would get married right out of high school and it fucking broke my heart. Cuz I knew you were gay, even while you were going out with her; I just figured you were going to stay in the damn closet forever.”


  “Well, I wasn’t going to come out in high school,” David pointed out reasonably. “Talk about a disaster waiting to happen. Even if Foothills was a pretty liberal school, we did a lot with the kids from Wesley Community, and there was a whole big anti-gay bunch there.”

  “Apparently not Matt Brewer,” Zach said.

  “Nah. He was okay. And I didn’t toss Maggie over for him. I’d busted up with him long before I came out to her. I did tell her I cheated on her, though not with who.”

  “Whom,” Zach corrected absently.

  “Speaking of which, how’s the tutoring going?” David grinned. “Speaking of tutoring.”

  “Good. Maggie thinks I can probably take the GED in a week or two and pass it. Dad talked to the school, and the next time the school district’s running the test is the second week of July, so I’ll probably take it then. The results take two weeks so I should know by August first. So that gives me a couple of weeks yet to study. With time off for the Fourth of July party at Tyler.”

  “So you’re going?”

  Zach took a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna try. I figure if I get there early before too many people are there, I won’t be like making an entrance or anything where people are going to be noticing me. I’ll just… hang out, or something. You’re coming, right?”

  “Yeah.” David regarded him thoughtfully. “How much of us do you want on display there, baby?”

  Zach looked up at the endearment. “You mean, us us?”

  “I don’t know any other us’s around.”

  “Oh. Well. I don’t know.”

  David shrugged. “It’s up to you. Best buds or madly in love—your call.”

  “Can I let you know?”