Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits

by Felicia Watson

  “Not really. You guys have probably eaten more restaurant lunches since you got to town than I have in the last five years. I’m usually at the barn.”

  “Well, we’re at the Brown Hotel, right downtown. They’ve got a lunch restaurant called J. Grahams. Could you meet us there, maybe one o’clock?”

  “Sure, that’s fine.”

  There’s a pause, and then Jeff’s voice comes out a bit tentatively. “Look, Dan. I can’t even pretend to understand how torn up you must be right now, and I know that it’s not really any of my business. And, like I said, this whole deal has gotten way more jumbled up than it had to be, and Evan… Evan was an idiot for coming to see you in the bar the other night. The boy’s got no sense at all. But he’s got a good heart, and he can control himself if he has to.” Jeff sighs. “I guess I’m just saying that I hope you can come into the meeting with an open mind. There’s no pressure, no expectations, we’re just putting an idea out there.”

  “No pressure?” Dan says. “If I don’t sign on to be Evan’s barn-boy, you don’t buy the horses and Karl and Molly have to scramble around and try to find buyers in a totally messed up economy while they should be mourning their son? Is that what you mean by ‘no pressure’?”

  Jeff sighs again. “I wish Chris hadn’t mentioned that to you. He’s just trying to look out for everybody, I guess, but… it’s really not that simple. We’re not trying to be high handed about this, and we’re totally open to negotiation. And the barn-boy thing… interesting imagery, by the way… Evan and I have talked about that pretty intensely, and… he’s not going to make things uncomfortable for you. I promise.” As far as Dan can tell from a cell phone conversation, Jeff is totally sincere. He pauses, and then goes on in a slightly less impassioned manner. “We’re interested in hiring you because of your skills and your attitude—we were both really impressed with your honesty about Monty. The other part is totally separate, and if you don’t bring it up, it is totally dead.”

  Dan doesn’t really know what to say to that, but he can’t really refuse to even hear their plan. “Yeah, fine, I’ll… I’ll try to have an open mind.”

  Jeff’s smile transmits through the phone. “That’s great, Dan. So we’ll see you at one.”

  “Sure thing. Bye.” Dan hangs up the phone with the beginnings of an idea in his head. He now wishes he wasn’t hung over, because he’s not sure it’s a good idea, and a clear mind would really be helpful. Ordinarily he could call Chris, but that doesn’t seem like a good option today. He thinks for a second and then pulls out his cell and dials it. He only hopes Robyn will be able to pick up.

  A COUPLE hours later, he leaves the copy center and heads off to the restaurant, a thick manila envelope in his hand. He’s not sure if he really needs the props, but getting them put together helped fill the time and calm his nerves.

  When he gets to the restaurant Jeff and Evan are already there. They both stand and shake his hand when he walks to the table, and then they sit down and make small talk. Dan inquires about Tatiana, who has apparently gotten bored with all the business and flown home on her own. Evan raves about their housekeeper for a while, about how great it is to have someone in the house that he can trust with anything. Dan’s not sure if it’s meant to be a pointed comment. If it is, he’s not sure what the point is meant to be. Possibly Evan is just rambling. The rest of the mealtime conversation is similarly benign, although Dan finds himself getting increasingly restless as time passes.

  None of them order dessert, so once their plates are cleared and coffee is brought, Evan finally gets down to business. “So, Dan, I know this has been done kind of ass-backward, but I wanted to explain what we’re looking to do with the eventing stuff, and how we’d like for you to be involved.”

  Dan nods. Evan hasn’t even hinted at anything sexual all through lunch, and Dan isn’t sure whether the other man has really given up on that or is just building up for a sneak attack. But Dan ate their meal, so he guesses he should hear their ideas.

  “So, originally we were just planning on buying an eventer for Tat. Honestly, I think the last time you and I talked about this, that’s where we were. But we wanted to keep the horse at our home. We’ve got a big barn and whatever already, but we were going to have to build a dressage ring and a jumping course and a cross-country course.”

  “Naturally,” Dan agrees, and Jeff grins. Maybe Kaminski thinks that investing half a million dollars in top-of-the-line facilities is the only way for his sister to ride her horse, but Jeff and Dan have both apparently grown up in a slightly different world.

  Evan continues unperturbed. “So, when Monty didn’t seem like a good fit, we were going to get another horse. But then Tat said that she really loved Monty, and couldn’t she have him, too, and we could buy an easier horse for her to ride until she gets good enough to ride him.” The fact that Evan seems to have thought this was a reasonable suggestion tells Dan a little more about how different their worlds are.

  “Anyway, I started thinking. It doesn’t make sense to build all these rings and whatever and have just one horse using them.” On that point, at least, Dan is in agreement. Evan continues. “We’ve already got the barn and there’s loads of land, so why not fill the place up? When we heard that Karl and Molly were thinking of getting out of the business, it just seemed like the perfect opportunity.” Evan pauses for a sip of coffee, and Dan waits patiently.

  “So, obviously we can’t have the horses just sitting there. We want to be an eventing stable. Tat can ride one or two of the horses, and Jeff can coach her, but he’s too busy with his other stuff to work for us full-time. And besides, he says he prefers working with people to working just with horses.” Dan wonders if Jeff also prefers to maintain some level of career that is outside the control of his mercurial young friend but doesn’t inquire. “So, I need somebody to train the horses. Somebody who knows what he’s doing, and who I know I can trust.” Evan smiles. “Naturally, I thought of you.”

  Jeff takes over a little. “I know it sounds a little flaky, like he’s just playing around, and he’ll drop it all for the next shiny thing he sees.” Evan shoots Jeff a look, and the man shrugs. “Sorry, kid, but that’s how it sounds.” He turns his attention back to Dan. “But it’s really not like that.” He pulls out a thick leather portfolio and passes it across the table to Dan. Dan looks inquisitively at Jeff, who just nods at the book. “Have a look.”

  Dan opens it up. It’s full of press clippings, letters of reference, testimonials… all evidence of the business acumen and responsibility of Evan T. Kaminski. Evan looks embarrassed, but Jeff just grins. “Evan was born rich, no doubt about that. But he’s been in charge of the family, and the family business, for the last six years. In that time, he’s impressed a lot of people.” Jeff reaches over and grips Evan by the back of the neck, shaking him gently. “But it’s not always easy for a gorgeous twenty-six- year-old to get people to take him seriously.” Jeff’s grip on Evan’s neck tightens a little. “Especially when he lets his dick lead him around about fifty percent of the time. So we put the portfolio together.”

  Evan looks sheepish, although he hasn’t disagreed with anything, including the dick remark. “We did our homework on the eventing thing, Dan.” He passes another bundle of papers across the table, and Dan looks down at spreadsheets, financial projections… a blur of information that makes his own envelope of homework seem paltry by comparison. Dan takes a moment to glance over the numbers. He’s never had much interest in the business side of horses, but the papers look reasonable, and are projecting a modest profit by the fifth year. He notes that the salary allowed for the head trainer is significantly more than he’d made even back when Karl and Molly were paying him his full salary, and that there are generous allowances for other staff as well.

  He looks up to see the two men watching him expectantly. “Okay, yeah. This looks good, I guess. But… look, Chris said the contract with the Kaminskis requires that you be able to find a suitable trai
ner. There’s lots of people out there who would love to be part of an operation like this. Are you really going to let this deal fall apart just because you can’t hire me? Or is that just a bluff?”

  “We never actually said that we’d walk away without you, Dan.” Evan explains. “But, yeah, it makes the deal a lot less attractive if you’re not involved.” Evan sees Dan’s eyes narrow and speaks quickly. “I don’t mean that in any sleazy way. And I’m sorry about the other night, for what it’s worth. Jeff said it would complicate things, and I’m sorry if it did. But… we want you for the job because we want to be able to trust whoever we hire. I don’t know enough about horses to really understand what you’re doing, and Jeff’s busy. And I want this to be a fun, relaxing little business… I mean, it’s going to be set up at my home, not in some office somewhere. I don’t want to be worrying all the time about whether my trainer’s cheating me, or cheating someone else.” Evan absentmindedly rubs his neck where Jeff’s fingers had gripped. “So, if we can’t find somebody we trust to do the job, we won’t go forward. And right now, you’re the only one we can think of who has the skills and has our trust.”

  Evan continues. “We understand that you’ve got commitments here, and we respect that. We can be flexible about the starting date, or we can figure out a way to get you enough time off that you can come back and visit, or… whatever you need. Seriously.”

  Jeff looks at Dan. “Ball’s in your court, Dan.”

  Dan has to stop and think for a minute. He’s been impressed despite himself. This job is a lot harder to turn down then he had expected it to be. But he had a plan, and he doesn’t think anything’s happened to make it a bad idea. So he takes a deep breath and pulls the envelope up onto the table. He opens it up and takes out a photograph.

  “That’s Monty. He’s a seventeen-hand Hanoverian gelding, full brother to the mare that won Rolex two years ago, and he’s had the same trainer. He’s only nine years old, and he’s already eventing—strongly—at the Intermediate level. He has great breeding, he’s incredibly athletic, and he’s brave and honest.” Dan pauses for a moment. The two men are looking at him a little oddly, but he ignores them and pulls out another photograph.

  “This is Sunshine. She’s a Hanoverian, too, but a little smaller, only sixteen hands. She’s got great bloodlines and could be a fantastic broodmare, but she’s also capable of competing at a high level.” Dan is on a roll now, and pulls out another photo. “This is Kip. He’s a Thoroughbred stallion, came off the track, but he’s totally sound. He’s sixteen-one, eight years old. He’s eventing at the Training level now, but he’ll be ready to move up in a year at the most.” Another picture comes out. “Chaucer. Hanoverian gelding, only six years old, so he’s still learning. He’s doing really well over jumps, and seems to have the courage and strength to be great at cross country. He’s got the balance and movement for top-level dressage, as soon as he learns to stop fighting his rider.”

  Dan pauses, and Evan jumps in. “Dan, we know all this. I mean, I’m sure you know the horses better than we do, but we did check them out before we made the offer.”

  Dan nods, pulling out the other photographs as he speaks. “Okay, and that’s what’s confusing me.” He fans the photographs out over the table. “Because these horses? These are excellent horses. And the way I look at it, if somebody has more money than God, and is genuinely interested in eventing, and that person sees these horses? That person will not be able to stop himself from buying them. They’ve been handpicked, carefully trained… this collection of horses is an eventer’s wet dream.” Dan pauses and shakes his head a little. “I’m only interested in working for somebody who has a genuine, strong interest in eventing. I’m only interested in working for somebody who would buy these horses even if he wasn’t sure exactly who was going to be training them.” Dan looks up from the photographs and sees Evan staring at him intently. Jeff is sitting back in his chair looking almost amused.

  Dan decided he needs to wrap this up. “So, you can see why I’m confused. You say you’re genuinely interested, but you’re going to pass on horses like these just because you’re not sure who your trainer is going to be? It doesn’t seem right to me.”

  Evan leans forward and squints a little at Dan. “So, are you saying that if I buy these horses you’ll definitely come and work for me?”

  Dan shakes his head. “No, I’m saying if you don’t buy these horses, I definitely won’t. If you do buy them… I’ll give it some serious thought.” Dan decides to be a little more generous. “The job sounds a lot better than I thought it would,” he admits, “and I do appreciate the flexibility in terms of my commitments here. I just….” He drops the businesslike facade and finds himself speaking to Jeff instead of Evan. “I just don’t know which way’s up right now. It’s been an insane few days, and if I have to rush into a decision, I’m going for the option that keeps me as uncommitted as possible.” Dan turns his attention to Evan. “So if you need an answer right now, the answer is no. If you’re willing to wait a while, and if you’re interested enough in the sport to invest in a damn fine string of horses….” Dan shrugs, and then stands up and holds out his hand. “Thanks for lunch and for the interest.”

  Evan and Jeff both stand and shake his hand, and Jeff smiles at him a little. “We’re in town for another day. I’ll give you a call to let you know how things are progressing.” Dan nods, and Jeff continues in a softer tone of voice. “And, I don’t mean to step over a line, but… you have our sympathies.” Dan just nods again, and then he has to get out of there. All the horse talk had distracted him from thinking about Justin, but now it’s threatening to take over again.

  He heads out into the spring air and calls Robyn, as she had insisted he do. She had loved the plan and had been the one to e-mail the photographs to the copy place. She deserves to know that Dan hadn’t been laughed out of the restaurant, at least.

  When that’s done, he finds himself at loose ends, again. He’s not scheduled to work that night or the next, so he has literally nothing to do for the next fifty-two hours. He can’t remember the last time he had that sort of freedom, and it scares him a little. When he gets to the truck he climbs in and points it toward Willowbrook. He finally has some maybe-good news to tell Justin.

  Chapter 8

  DAN SITS in his usual chair, in his usual pose, leaning forward with his arms braced against Justin’s bed. He’s just told Justin the whole story, the sale of the horses, the job offer, the counter offer… but there is one more thing he needs to explain.

  He takes a deep breath before he continues. This is the hard part. For once, Dan is almost glad that Justin can’t hear what he’s saying.

  “The thing is—I might have had a chance, Justin. I really thought about it. I thought I could use the California job as a way to convince your parents to keep you alive. You know? I could say that I would take the job, so they would get their money, as long as they agreed to not give up on you.” He shrugs. “Even if they wouldn’t agree, at least I’d have tried everything, right? I don’t want to give up on you just because they did.”

  Dan pauses. This isn’t something he wants to say out loud. It isn’t something he even wants to think. “But I didn’t do it, Justin. I don’t know if that was the right thing or not. I just….” He’s choking up again, and he wonders with some disgust if it’s possible to dehydrate from crying so much. “I just wasn’t sure that they were wrong.”

  He smooths Justin’s hair away from his face, runs his fingers over the neck and shoulders that used to be so strong. “I think maybe… I think maybe they’re right. You’re gone. It doesn’t look like you are, but… the doctors have tests, they say there’s nothing left. And, it’s been so long, baby. More than a year now. I think… I think if you were going to make it back, you would have done it.”

  Dan’s almost sobbing now, but he wants to get the words out, wants to say it at least once. “It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Justin. You know that. You know I
always will. I just… I just don’t think you’re here anymore, and I don’t think you’re coming back.” He reaches for a Kleenex from the box by the bedside, blows his nose, and then takes a couple deep breaths to try to regain control of himself. “If there was a chance, any chance at all… you know I’d wait forever. You know that, right? You… you knew that.” The verb tense seems wrong, but Dan thinks maybe it’s something he just needs to get used to.

  “Your parents love you too. I was mad at them… or hurt or whatever… that they didn’t bother to talk to me before they… before they decided to let you go. They’re big talkers on the family thing, I guess, but… maybe I was just being pathetic, thinking they’d care about me just because you do. Did.” Yeah, did. Dan tries to wrap his mind around that.

  “Anyway… they love you, and they’re doing what they think is right. And… I don’t know. Maybe I think it’s right too.” He leans over and kisses Justin’s forehead. “It doesn’t mean I’m going to stop coming to see you, and it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop hoping for a miracle. But… I’ve got to start figuring out how to say goodbye.”

  He stands and wishes there was an attached bathroom so he could wash his face without having to go out in the hall and see people. Then he laughs at himself a little. If he’s going to start having wishes come true, he’s got more important things to protect than his vanity.

  “Okay, Justin, I’m heading out now. I’ll be back in… I’m gonna try to start coming less often. I’ll be back in a few days, okay? The nurses have my number. They’ll call if anything goes wrong.” Dan thinks of the calls he’s received in the past, letting him know about Justin’s health crises. With the DNR order in place, he probably won’t be getting another call like those. The next time the hospice phones him, he thinks, they’ll be telling him that Justin is gone.

  He pops into the bathroom on his way to the truck. He splashes cold water on his overheated face and takes a moment to collect himself. Then he walks to the truck and is just opening the door when his phone rings. It’s the hotel number, so he picks up. “Hello.”