“I don’t want you to fix my car,” I answered, staring at him, willing him to look me in the eyes. “I’ll take care of it.”
He glanced at me then, making eye contact. “It was my fault.”
“Maybe. I wasn’t paying much attention to the road either. So, maybe we’re both to be blamed.”
He frowned at me, and I hoped he got my message loud and clear. I wasn’t just talking about fixing our vehicles here.
“Sometimes it’s more one person’s fault than the other,” he added, turning away. “But, if you insist, I’ll say thanks and be on my way.” He glanced at the watch on his wrist. “Class begins in the next seven minutes.”
“Beau, don’t go.”
He paused with his car door open and glanced back at me. “Aren’t we done here?”
“No, not by a long shot.” I lowered my voice. “I know I fucked up, okay? I just want us to talk a little. Can you meet me tonight?”
“I don’t know,” he answered with a shrug. “I may have some other plans.”
“Please,” I added, wanting to reach out to touch him. “I need to talk to you. There’s so much that’s unsaid between us.”
“You had the opportunity to say what’s unsaid,” he remarked.
I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. “I can’t force you to show up, Beau. As much as I’d like to, I can’t. In case you’re still interested, I’ll be at the pub waiting for you at nine.”
“I’ll see what I can do about making it,” he answered but too casually for me to take him seriously. “See you around.”
I hated watching him getting a definite answer, but I could hardly hold him against his will and force him to agree to meet me later. I had no choice but to believe he would show up. I grimaced when I saw the scratch on the side of his car. I hoped mine wasn’t worse.
Chapter 11
Beau
Charlotte Mattis, I read the name on the exam paper then proceeded to tick her answers with my red pen. From where I sat in the middle of my bed, pillows propped behind my back, I had been comfortably grading exam papers and ignoring the ticking of the clock on the bedside table. In the quiet of my bedroom, even the faint ticking reached my ear. The sound also had me focusing on the way my heart raced with every passing minute.
I glanced at the time. Ten minutes to nine. Gordon was probably on his way to the pub right now. I had kept myself busy by bringing home exam scripts to grade. I’d barely made any progress though. The pile on my left that was marked was small, and the one on my right mocked me. I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to meet Gordon tonight.
I tried not to give in to my desires, reminding myself that this was too much trouble in so many ways. He was the father of my student. He probably would never come out of the closet any time soon either, and I didn’t want to live the life of a closeted gay man. I had nothing to be ashamed of, and sooner or later, I would have an issue with him not even wanting his kids to know about us.
But he’d looked so good today when I ran into his car. While technically I was at fault, I still blamed him a little. I’d been thinking about him, not paying much attention then suddenly there he was. The way he’d raked his eyes over me had been hot, and I could see he wanted us to pick up where we had left off. I wanted it too.
I tallied Charlotte’s grade and wrote down her percentage along with an excellent because she had scored over ninety percent on the test. She had come a long way and I hoped Gordon noticed. She had been a little reserved today more than usual. I’d caught her looking at me strangely from time to time. Every time I found her staring, she would glance away. At one point, I wondered if Gordon had told her about us but then I realized how silly that was.
Before I could reach for the next paper, I rolled out of bed. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay here, not knowing why Gordon wanted to speak to me. I hadn’t even taken a shower yet. I hurried to the bathroom and took the quickest shower in my life. After washing up, I called a cab to pick me up since my car was at the garage. The damage from this morning’s run-in with Gordon had resulted in only superficial scrapes, but I had to leave it overnight at the mechanic’s.
After the cab company assured me a driver would be here in the next ten to fifteen minutes, I flipped through my closet, trying to decide what to wear. I glanced at the clock. It was five minutes after nine, and I was afraid Gordon would leave if he thought I wouldn’t show up.
I dragged on jeans, a dark green shirt and a black blazer over it. I was combing my hair when the cab arrived. Leaving my hair still slightly damp, I could only hope it wouldn’t dry looking like a hot mess. This cab driver was friendly and chatted all the way to Bottoms Up. I didn’t hear half of what he said because I was busy checking the time on the dashboard and silently urging him to go faster. It was my luck he didn’t expect a response and liked to hear himself talk.
The time was creeping to the hour of ten when the cab driver finally pulled into the pub’s parking entrance. I was out the door before he even parked properly.
“Thanks for the lift,” I told him, pulling cash out of my wallet and passing it to him.
He glanced at the tip in surprise. “Here’s my card,” he announced and removed a business card from the glove compartment of his car. “You need a lift anywhere, just give me a call.”
“Will do. Good night!”
I half-ran, half-walked up the steps of the bar and pushed the front doors open. An upbeat jam from upstairs filtered down to the bar area. The bar was busy, several men and women locked in conversation. Others played or watched the pool games with interest. I dismissed everyone around me who wasn’t Gordon. I glanced around, tipping my head every which way to locate him. If he really wanted us to talk, he would have waited a few minutes, wouldn’t he? Even if I was forty minutes late. Hell, I’d waited on him for a week at this same spot before I gave up.
Disappointed in not seeing him, I slowly approached the bar. I didn’t even think about going upstairs. Gordon wasn’t the kind of man to dance and tonight was dance night for partners and would-be lovers. Maybe he would participate if persuaded but he wouldn’t go on his own. I selected an empty bar stool and sat, waiting for Cody to join me. He glanced up, saw me and smiled, but it fell a little flat. He looked over my shoulder then continued serving the customer in front of him.
I frowned. Cody had never ignored me before tonight. While I could appreciate him not flirting with me, I still could have used a drink. Or six. I needed to get Gordon off my mind. Permanently.
“You’re sitting on my stool.”
I spun around the stool upon hearing the complaint. I could always lie to myself that the slight dizziness I felt had to do with my messed-up equilibrium from turning too fast but in reality, it was all Gordon messing with my libido. He had his hand pushed into his back pockets while he observed me, a look of relief on his face.
“I thought for sure you’d left,” I said, trying not to show him how relieved I was to see him.
“I was hoping you would show up,” he answered. “I’ve been here since eight thirty, but I needed to use the restroom.”
“I didn’t plan to come,” I admitted.
“I know.”
I cocked my head to one side and tried not to show how much standing so close to him affected me. “How did you know?” I asked.
“Because I’ve been a fool,” he replied. “And although I thought you wouldn’t come, there was a part of me that clung to the hope that you’d give me a second chance.”
My cock nearly bore a hole through my jeans at his words. Nothing turned me on more than a man discussing what he wanted, especially when what he wanted was me. Gordon opening up to me and vocalizing what he wanted without me trying to drag it out of him, was more refreshing than a glass of lemonade during a trek through the Sahara.
“You want a second chance?” I asked, just for clarity.
He nodded and moved closer. Fuck, his eyes were mirrors to his soul. If we were alone, I’d jump
his bones right there.
“Yeah, I kinda screwed up things the last time,” he admitted. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, you know. Us. In fact, to be honest, I’d planned to end this before it got out of hand.”
“But it’s already out of hand, isn’t it?”
He nodded, his eyes dropping to my lips. “You have no idea how often I stay awake at nights thinking about you and what we did, wanting to do it again.”
As much as it pained me to ask, I had to. “Is this just a fuck for you Gordon? Are you going to fuck me tonight then like last time run off without even a hey, thanks for the BJ?”
His face turned red. “Thanks for the BJ?”
My lips twitched as I tried not to laugh. He looked so damn cute, unsure of what to do. I wanted to stay mad at him but could already feel a coat of hope covering my disappointment.
“You’re welcome,” I answered, looking past him to Cody who still hadn’t stopped to take my drink order.
“I guess this whole thing could have been avoided if I had told you how I truly felt when you called,” he said.
“Or if you’d stopped by my apartment,” I pointed out. “Or the bar after the night we slept together. I stopped by for a whole week.” I shrugged. “You know, just because I had nothing to do.”
He shifted and placed his hand over mine on top of the counter. He stroked the back of my hand and my cock lost the battle.
“So, did I. I dropped by as well and the bartender told me you were here the other nights. When you called me I was sure it was about us, but you only wanted to talk about Charlie. It kinda drove me a little crazy that here I was thinking about you so much, and you didn’t seem to care.”
“I dropped by the bar every single day for a week!” I exclaimed. “Does that sound like a man who doesn’t give a shit? If anything, I care too much about you when I know very little.”
He trailed circles on the back of my hand. “Do you want to? Know more about me?”
Fuck yes, I wanted to know more about him. In fact, the way he was touching me, I was pretty sure how much I would get to know him tonight. Either Gordon, my shy Gordon was hitting on me from the way he was stroking my hand, or he was utterly clueless how much he affected me.
“You can’t just run away this time,” I told him. “I know it’s all new to you but talk to me about what’s going through your mind before you act. If you want to walk away at any time just say so. I’d rather a clean break than be left feeling like an egg dropped on the sidewalk.”
He wrinkled his nose and damned if I didn’t want to kiss him right there. “That’s a bizarre analogy.”
“Fuck, I’m French. I may not get the English expressions right all the time, but you know damn well what I mean, Gordon.”
“Yeah, yeah. I do.”
I finally smiled at him at the same time Cody finally dropped by.
“Kissed and made up, gentlemen?” he asked with a grin. He glanced at Gordon. “I was sure you would be mad as hell when you found out I didn’t give him your number.”
“What number?” I asked in confusion.
Gordon glared at Cody and looked like he wanted to drag him over the bar. “You didn’t give him the number?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, seeking clarification. At Cody’s guilty look, I glared at him as well. “What did you do?”
He shrugged and eased back from the counter with his hands up. “Hey, I didn’t ask to be caught up in this love affair drama you guys got going over here. Besides, I did try to give him the number, but he wouldn’t listen. He just walked on right out of here. Now if you guys don’t want a drink, I think it’s best I get going.”
“Coward!” Gordon growled at him.
I reached up to tug Gordon’s arm. “What was that all about?”
“I left my number with him in case you dropped by,” he answered. “That night you called I thought you were calling about that but then realized you just wanted to talk about Charlie in your play.”
I grinned at him and got up from the stool. “It’s not all I wanted to talk about. You just kinda made it hard to broach the topic I wanted to discuss after. Charlie was a cover-up.”
“What topic is that?”
I moved even closer to him and placed both my hands on his chest. I didn’t care who was watching us. I missed touching him. I captured his eyes with mine when I felt his heart skip a beat. “I wanted to ask you to come over that night and pick up where we left off.”
He inhaled deeply. “Try asking me now,” he said, his voice lowering to a sexy purr.
“Okay.” I smiled up at him mischievously because he deserved to wait after making me wait so long. “Here goes. Would you like to dance with me upstairs?”
Chapter 12
Gordon
“God, I love this song,” Beau murmured as I pulled him into my arms for the dance he had asked for. He settled right against my body, and I was glad I hadn’t given in to the urge to tell him I didn’t dance. The only other time I could remember dancing was at my wedding, and I had been freaking out then, so I hadn’t enjoyed it. Even during the most significant moment of my life, I’d known I was making a big mistake. Afraid of the shame and humiliation when everyone was so happy about our union, I’d excused myself exactly twice to throw up in the restroom then returned to my wife’s side as though I was the happiest groom alive.
Now I realized it wasn’t the dancing that had been the problem on my wedding day. I had the wrong person in my arms. We weren’t the only ones dancing. In fact, it seemed Thursday nights were designated for dance nights. Several gay and lesbian couples were dancing in each other’s arms, so I didn’t feel out of place with Beau. I was more relaxed than I’d been in a long time. I felt like I belonged, like I could be myself around these people, and it was ecstatic.
A woman dancing with her wife, judging by the wedding rings on their fingers smiled at us, and I even managed to smile right back at her.
“I stink at dancing,” I whispered in Beau’s ear. “I’m giving you fair warning.”
He casually wrapped one arm around my waist while he clutched my hand. He smiled up at me, looking ridiculously happy. “Warning noted,” he murmured. “If you crush my toes you’ll just have to suck them later.”
He winked at me and apart from my initial knee-jerk reaction, I was getting used to him saying things like that. “It would be remiss of me not to trample on at least one in that case.”
He chuckled and drew closer to me. With my hand splayed on his lower back, I helped move him even closer. I closed my eyes, allowing the soulful sound of Nina Storey’s Till There Was You to set the mood for us. He felt wonderful in my arms as we swayed against each other. We were so close that our cocks bumped and swelled. Given the way this dance was shaping up, we would hardly need foreplay when we arrived at his apartment.
Beau leaned forward, resting his head on my shoulder. It was the damn sweetest thing a lover could have done. He was singing the words of the song in my ear, the deep timbre of his bass hitting me in the gut with lust.
“I know this road we travel won't be an easy one
I know the odds are higher loving on the run
You give to me in every way I never knew
You make impossible real
You make it come true”
I tightened my hold on him, his hot breath warming the side of my neck. I ran my hand in small circles, wishing I could bypass the material of his shirt to touch his skin.
I could feel the sweat beading on my back. I never knew dancing with someone could be so erotic. The way he moved against me, resting his hand just above the swell of my ass. Our thighs brushed against each other. I was certain I stepped on his foot at least once, but it was hardly the highlight of what he was doing to me. The highlight would be how amazingly he fit against me. His cock was as rigid as mine, and when our flies scraped together, I damn near shot my load in my jeans.
“Beau.” My voice came out straine
d to my ear.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not sure how much more of this I can take,” I gasped. “I’m harboring thoughts of you.”
“What kind of thoughts?” he asked.
“Don’t make me say it.”
“Say it. Please.”
I slipped my hands down to his ass and pressed the lower half of our bodies together. I was too horny to care who was watching us. Besides, we weren’t doing anything everyone else wasn’t hoping to do to their partner anyway.
“Ooo,” he moaned.
“Yeah.” I shuddered against him. “I want to undress you and finish what we started.”
He slipped his hand from my waist and discreetly tucked it between our bodies. He cupped my hard cock through my jeans and squeezed. “I don’t think we’re still dancing, love. Move.”
My eyes cracked open in disbelief. “You’re grabbing me by the cock. The only movement I feel coming on is shooting my load and I’m trying not to do that until I’m inside of you.”
“Gordon. Gordon.” I could hear the smile in his words. “I wasn’t sure you had it in you. Where did all this tough talk come from?”
“It’s your damn fault,” I growled at him. “You gave me head, showed me a glimpse of heaven and left me wanting the whole grand tour.”
He stopped in the middle of the dance. “Okay, let’s go. No sense torturing ourselves.” He winked at me.
Hand in hand we hurried down the stairs. I wanted him so badly I couldn’t resist halting us halfway down the stairs and backing him up against the wall.
“Gor—”
I kissed him, swallowing his words. I kissed him hard. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer to him. Cupping the back of his head, I sifted his hair through my fingers while sucking on his bottom lip. He groaned, giving me the perfect opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth. He kissed me back, moaning and sucking on my tongue. He leaned heavily against the wall, and I crowded into him, getting as close as I dared without becoming one with him.
Neither of us was conscious of our surroundings. I could feel the blood rushing into my cock and making me harder. All I wanted was to bury my cock inside the sweet ass I had massaging in my hands. The way he was moving against me was phenomenal. I was responsible for the way he was writhing against me. I, Gordon, who had pretended for eighteen years that this wasn't who I was. The revelation boosted my confidence, and I slipped a hand up under the hem of his shirt to stroke his lower back.
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