“Fuck that’s hot!” someone muttered, as footsteps trampled by us up the stairs. We both startled to discover where we were.
I groaned and kissed him briefly again before burying my face into his neck.
“Tell me there’s a fucking portal that can teleport us to your place.”
He laughed, the sound rumbling in his chest. “No, but I know a competent driver.”
I cocked my brows at him. “Why do I feel like you’re talking about me?”
He shrugged as I stepped back and pulled him off the wall. “I can drive us if you want me to. I took a cab.”
“Nah, you’ve caused enough accidents in one day.” He grimaced at the distinctive bulge of his crotch. “And if we don’t get to your apartment soon, you’re about to cause another.”
I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed the back of it. We tumbled down the stairs together and headed straight for the door.
“Now that’s some action I would want to see!” Cody shouted at us, shifting all the attention from the bar our way. I could feel my shyness coming on as everyone stared, some snickered, and others were nodding in agreement. Then Beau flipped him the bird, and I decided I friggin’ loved this guy.
We left the bar with laughter at our backs. “This way.” I pulled him in the direction of my truck and unlocked the vehicle for us to get in. The doors slammed, the engine rumbled, and I backed out of the parking spot.
“Hey, hon, slow down, will you?” Beau said when I took a corner too sharply. “After waiting this long, and yeah I know it’s barely two weeks, I’d rather not go six-feet under until you deliver what you promised.”
I glanced over at him and grinned sheepishly. He’d called me hon and damn if it didn’t sound great.
“Let’s talk while you drive us there,” he stated.
“You want to talk?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, you know, to figure out things a bit.”
“Figure out what. We’re going back to your place, right? And please don’t offer me beer when we get there. If I wanted beer, I’d stay at the bar.”
He chuckled. “Duly noted. But I mean other stuff.”
I rolled my eyes. “For a guy who’s usually bold with his words, you’re hesitant tonight.”
“You know, I’m beginning to prefer shy Gordon.”
I scowled at him before becoming thoughtful. “You don’t mean that, do you because I don’t think I’m either. Well, I think I’m a mix of shy Gordon and the new daring Gordon. I discovered the latter because of you.”
“I’m kidding. I love both sides of you.”
I was speechless. His words were hardly a declaration of love. When people said they loved something about you, it didn’t necessarily mean they loved you, so I really shouldn’t give a second thought to his words, but I couldn’t afford not to. I couldn’t even remember Barbara telling me once that she loved me, other than reciting our wedding vows.
“Anyway, what I meant was, what kind of lover are you?” he asked. “You know some guys act as tops only and others are bottoms only.”
I paused, thinking hard about it. I wasn’t sure what answer he was looking for. I wanted to fuck him. In fact, I was ninety-nine point nine percent certain that I would top him tonight, but I couldn’t say for certain that I wouldn’t want him to do it to me too in the future.
“I want to top you tonight,” I told him, hoping I was using the correct terms. “But, I wasn’t averse to what you did that night. When you poked your finger inside my ass. I guess what I’m saying is that I’d be open if you wanted to top me too.”
I glanced at him to garner his reaction. He was looking at me with a smile. “Sounds good.”
“And you?” I asked. “You’ve clearly been in relationships with other men before. Do you have a preference?”
“Just to clarify, I might have fooled around a bit when I was in my teens, but I’ve only ever gone all the way with one guy.”
His response surprised me into silence. I’d have never thought him to have taken only one lover. He acted so experienced that I would have guessed him to have had at least a handful of lovers. If he’d only been with one guy, did it mean that relationship had been serious? I was curious to know but didn’t want serious conversations to ruin the night.
“So were you a bottom or a top?” I asked him.
“Mostly a bottom,” he answered. “But I did enjoy being the occasional top. Although I wouldn’t mind just bottoming for you.”
I pulled into his apartment building and parked in his spot. I cut the engine and released my seatbelt, turning to him. “Good. You can be the occasional top. I bet you’re great at it.”
He released his seatbelt and leaned over to meet me in the middle as we kissed. He released my lips, and I captured his again, loving the feel of his mouth pressed to mine. “Let’s go up and find out how great you are at it.”
I chucked his chin. “Way to pile on the pressure, man. Just remember, I’ve never done this before.”
“Don’t worry. Between the both of us, we’ll figure it out.”
Chapter 13
Beau
“Kiss me,” I told Gordon to distract him from the towel, lube, and condom I had placed on the bed. The nervous look was back in his eyes, but I didn’t want shy Gordon to appear now. He had been great all evening, just living in the moment. I loved seeing him like that, without a worry of what others thought about him.
At my command, he dipped his head and kissed me. I moaned, loving the way he swept his tongue into my mouth. He was hands down the best kisser I ever had. Unlike lovers, I had kissed a lot of men. His mouth was firm yet gentle and did not taste at all like the ashen kisses I’d become used to from my ex. I pushed Ian from my mind. Tonight was about Gordon and me, and nobody would come between that. Not now.
I walked him back until his knees hit the bed. I tugged his shirt up, revealing the toned body I had seen only once but had not forgotten. I tossed the shirt to the edge of the bed on the other side. We were both going to be wrapped up in each other’s arms anyway. I doubted we would reach the other end.
“Take off your shirt,” he said, and I obeyed, pulling the material over my head. His hands immediately came to rest on my ribcage. He ran them upward to caress my lean muscles. He tweaked my nipples with his fingers, and I groaned. As much as I wanted tonight to last as long as we both could, I had a feeling we were not going to waste our time in unloading soon. Too much pent up sexual frustration existed between us. I didn’t mind hard and fast either, as long as there was a promise of slow and steady the second time.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Gordon said, running his hands back down my chest. He didn’t stop there but down to the swell at the front of my jeans to cup my hard cock. He squeezed gently, and I tossed my head back and closed my eyes. He released the pressure before pressing again, a little harder this time. I gazed at him through hooded lids and licked my bottom lip. I wanted his mouth on my cock, like the way I had sucked him off, but I didn’t want to ask. I wanted him to give what he felt comfortable giving, as I had done our first night together.
With his free hand, he cupped my ass and pulled me even closer to him. He continued caressing me, and pressed wet kisses to my abs. Each sweep of his tongue over my skin sent shivers through my body. I cupped the back of his head and slowly rotated my hips, pressing my cock harder into his eager touch.
“Oh God, I want you so much, Gordon,” I moaned. “Can you feel how much?” I’d thought my first time with someone other than Ian would have been harder because of my last encounter with him, but nothing intruded on the sensations Gordon created in me.
“Yeah and it’s such a turn on.”
I held my breath when he left my cock alone to fumble with my belt buckle. I didn’t help him but watched and waited while he was all thumbs. Removing a belt had suddenly turned into rocket science. He finally got the belt undone and I wanted to tease him about it but remembered he had been so skeptical the first ti
me we did this, doubtful that sex and fun could become one. He unsnapped my jeans and pulled down the zipper.
“You’ll have to tell me where you got these jeans,” he murmured. “They fit you well.”
“Fuck, rock my world tonight and they’re yours.”
He chuckled which pleased me much. The change in him was a turn-on in itself. He was making jokes when I was itching to pull him on top of me already.
“I don’t think they’d fit,” he murmured, his voice trailing off when he pushed my jeans down my hips. I shimmied my hips a little to help him get them off. I was wearing a pair of Calvin Klein’s briefs beneath. Without a word, he hooked the briefs with his fingers and pulled down. My cock popped free from the material, curving upward toward my belly.
Gordon knelt before me to remove my briefs and left them right there on the floor. He didn’t get to his feet but remained kneeling. He ran his hands up my legs and up to my thighs. He hesitated a little before he reached for my cock. I held my breath, bracing for the impact of his touch. His hand enclosed around me gently, stroking up and down.
“Do it harder,” I told him. “It’s not much different from your own. Remember the way you jerk off when you think about me that night.” His eyes snapped up to me in surprise. I smiled at him. “I know because I do the same thing. That night was all I had of you.”
I gasped the last word when he tightened his grip around my cock. He pumped me at the base, rubbing the skin of my cock up and down.
“Suck me in your mouth,” I begged him because I couldn’t wait anymore. I wanted the feel of his lips wrapped around my cock.
He dipped his head eagerly as if he had just been waiting for my permission. His lips settled over the tip, and he slowly kissed the head. I widened my feet to give him better access between my legs.
“Oh God, yes, that’s it,” I moaned when he took me deeper into his mouth. He got midway before his head bobbed slowly up and down. He got the hang of it quickly enough, and only his initial reaction was a dead giveaway he had never given head before. Soon he was sucking me faster and deeper, the wet slurps filling the room. I rolled my hips in small circles as I thrust inside his mouth. He couldn’t deepthroat me as I had done him, but that was just fine. His mouth was already torture and my balls tightened. I badly wanted to finish but not like this. The climax would be much greater with him pumping inside my body.
“Gordon,” I moaned his name. I couldn’t resist giving a sharp thrust into his mouth before tugging on his hair. He released my cock with a pop, and I bent forward to kiss him, drawing his tongue into my mouth. “I want to feel you inside me,” I said against his lips.
He stood, his lips still clinging to mine as he kissed me passionately. “I don’t want to mess this up,” he said, his face a little worried. “Will you show me what to do?”
I nodded. “It’ll be fine. I’ll start off on top.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he remarked, brows knitted in worry.
I tugged his head down to kiss him again. I was touched at his concern. “It’s been a while, but you won’t hurt me. The secret is being well-lubed. I’ll show you how. First, take off your clothes.”
In record time, he had his pants down his thighs. He finished pushing them all the way down and dropped his boxers just as fast.
“Good to see I wasn’t overthinking things,” I told him reaching for his cock. I massaged his girth, running my enclosed fist up and down his shaft.
He gave a guttural sound and removed my hand. “A little less of that tonight, please. If you continue touching me like that Beau, we’ll have to carry this into another night.”
“Oh no. We can’t have that happening.”
He smiled. “A man after my own heart.”
Without warning Gordon grabbed me by the back of my thighs and deposited me on the bed. Before I could get my wind back, he was on the bed as well. I spread my legs for him and reached across the bed to take up the lube. “Give me your hand.”
He didn’t ask questions but did what I told him. I squeezed a good portion of the lube on his fingers and instructed him how to rub the silicone-based gel into my asshole to prepare me for his entry. “You won’t hurt me,” I said gently.
Taking my word for it, he rubbed his fingers just on the exterior of my asshole, moving closer until I felt the cool gel against my skin. He coated the ribbed edges of my entrance before dipping his index finger inside. I moaned, the sound encouraging him to be bolder. He pushed his finger deeper inside me and gave me his other hand for me to hand him the lube. He applied some more and continued massaging a second finger into my tight hole. He started slowly at first, barely pushing in and out. As I loosened up under his administrations, he twisted two fingers up inside my body and pushed hard. He crooked his finger inside my body, and I nearly reared up from the bed, my eyes wide open in shock at the delicious sensations that rippled through me.
“Oh God, that’s the spot, right there,” I moaned, rolling my head from side to side. “Do it again. Please.” He did it again, massaging my prostate with his fingers. Precum leaked from my cock. I didn’t dare touch my erection or I’d be busting my nuts.
“Gordon!” I gasped, grabbing him by the shoulder. “No more, please. No more. I want you inside me.”
He didn’t argue but wiped his hands on the towel I provided before I passed the condom to him. He didn’t comment at my shaking hand but made quick work of the condom. He rolled it down his cock, smoothing it to ensure everything was intact. He watched me as he lubed up.
“Let’s switch now so you can ride me,” he said, and we switched positions. Gordon lay on his back, and I crouched over him. With my feet planted on either side of his hips, I leaned forward to kiss him because he had gone tense. I knew at the forefront of his mind was him thinking of hurting me. I didn’t know how to reassure him outside of the fact that I had been doing this since I was nineteen. I didn’t want to allude to any other man while we were making love.
Easing down his body, I grasped the base of his cock and guided it to my mushroomed hole. His tip hit my entrance and pressed into my flesh. He hissed beneath me, his thighs gone stiff. I relaxed, breathing in and out steadily as I pushed downward slowly. He was huge, and I hadn’t been fucked by anyone in over a year. The girth of his cock tore through the tight muscles, stretching me and filling me.
“Fuck!” he exploded beneath me. “You’re so tight around me. Oh my God, that’s so good!”
Without answering, I braced my hands onto his chest and slowly moved upwards and then back down. Each downward movement, I took more and more of his inches until I was sitting on him, his cock fully buried into me. I had to pause and allow the shudders to ripple through me before I could move. Taking him inside me was no fucking mean feat.
“You okay?” he asked with a gasp, running his hands over my thighs and up my sides. Though his pleasure was evident on his face, it was laced with a look of concern. A brief memory of another man barreling inside me even when I wasn’t ready temporarily distracted me. I seized up having thought the memory buried too deep to still affect me. I paled and shuddered against Gordon again. I closed my eyes and tried to fight my demons. The ones I pretended didn’t exist. All it had taken was a kind gesture on Gordon’s part to unravel me, to remind me I wasn’t whole.
I was safe, and this was Gordon who I was with. I tried to concentrate on the man who was lying beneath me. He would never hurt me. But then, I never thought Ian would have hurt me either.
To my humiliation, I could feel the hot tears sliding from behind my closed eyelids.
Chapter 14
Gordon
Alarm ran through me at the tears sliding down Beau’s cheeks. My first thought was that I had hurt him in some way and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I knew my dick was a tad on the larger side which was the reason I kept asking him if he was okay. Hell, seeing the tears hurt. I realized then how much he meant to me and not just the sex. If the sex wouldn’t work, ther
e were other things we could do. Fuck, I’d even bottom for him permanently if that was what he wanted. I just wanted the tears to stop and the smile to return.
“Beau, I’m sorry,” I said, running my hands up his naked torso. He really was beautiful. “We can stop if you want. We don’t have to do this.”
Instead of responding, he leaned forward and tucked his face into the crook of my shoulder and neck. I was still buried deep inside him and would have wanted him to get up, but I was afraid if I made the wrong move, I would hurt him more. The poor thing was shuddering against me. One of his hands clung to my shoulder, his blunt nails digging into my flesh.
“I just need a moment,” he said, dragging in a deep breath. “I promise you I don’t want to stop.”
“But you’re crying. I hate that. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” he whispered. “Just hold me for a few minutes till it passes. I promise you I’ll be fine.”
It wasn’t the sex. I was hit right then by Beau's words that his reaction just now was more than me being inside him. Something bothered him enough for him to cry during our sex, and I wanted to know, but I couldn’t pry. If he wanted me to know, he would tell me. I too had my secrets and wouldn’t want him to ask about them until I was good and ready to share. So, I just held him, wrapping my arms around his body, feeling the vulnerability in this man. Seeing his melt-down moment somehow made him more human to me. He'd acted so fucking perfect all this time, but he wasn't. That drew me closer to him than anything else could have.
The seconds ticked by before he raised his head. He looked at my chest instead of at me. “I’m sorry,” he said then gave a shaky laugh. “Here you were so worried you would ruin everything, and I just did.”
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