“Yeah. You know I always thought I was good at this dad stuff until Barbara died and then I realized how much I didn’t know.”
I raised my head and regarded him in surprise. “Hold up. Your wife died? I thought you just got a divorce.”
He grimaced then turned serious. “If it were just a divorce my kids wouldn’t be as messed up as they are right now.” He glanced at me. “She didn’t just die of natural causes, Beau. She took her own life.”
I was shocked into silence by the revelation. I couldn’t speak but so much made sense now. Poor Charlotte. No wonder the girl looked like she was about to wilt. It couldn’t be easy for her to live with the knowledge that her mother had taken her life.
“Jesus!” I finally exploded. “Why?”
He sighed. “Isn't that the million-dollar question? I wish to God I knew. I blame myself, and the kids blame themselves. The truth is that she didn’t leave any note when she did it.”
“Your poor kids. Now I understand why Charlotte is so quiet."
“She found Barbara.”
“Oh God! How could a mother do that to her children? Didn’t she think of them?”
“I try not to blame her for the way they are now. I mean, it’s done already. All we have to do is try to move on. The kids, I’m not sure they are handling it well. My son is even worse than Charlie.”
“Is he older?”
“Yeah, it’s his senior year in high school. He was never the perfect kid, you know. He got into his fair share of trouble, but of late, he’s been worse. Shoplifting, breaking curfews, drinking. I’ve enrolled them in grief counseling, and they have their first session coming up.”
I nodded in understanding. “I hope it helps.”
“Me too.”
I placed my hand on his thigh. I kneaded the muscles, and slowly he relaxed. He didn’t say anything but smiled at me. I smiled back and fell silent as we continued the drive to the store. I couldn’t imagine what it was like to lose a parent. My parents were still alive in France, and although our relationship likely would never be the same again, it was comforting knowing they were around. When I’d fled back to France after my encounter with Ian the last time, they’d welcomed me home without a word. They’d also not stopped me nor protested when I decided to sign up for the teach-away program.
Gordon drove up to the department store and found a parking spot. He cut the engine and sighed. “I guess I better get used to this.”
I squeezed his shoulder and leaned forward to kiss him. “It won’t be so bad, and I’m here to help with whatever you need.”
Instead of letting me go, he pulled me into a hug then released me. “Thanks for the offer. I’m looking forward to this. Us.”
He deserved a kiss for that, so I kissed him again, taking his face into my hands and slanting my lips over his. He returned the kiss with enthusiasm, moaning into my mouth and the crotch of my pants tightened.
“Come, let’s get what your daughter needs,” I told him. We didn’t walk hand in hand as we approached the department store, but he was close enough to me that I didn’t mind. It would take him a while to get used to being openly affectionate. He was thoughtful though, and I observed the little things he did without even noticing. Like the way he held the door open for me and the way he placed an arm at the small of my back, guiding me around a woman who was riding one of the shopping carts.
All I needed was a little patience for him to come into his own.
Chapter 16
Gordon
I reached across the bed to take up my phone from the bedside table and end the alarm before it woke up the man lying next to me. I shut off the alarm, and dropped the cell phone onto the bed, shuffling closer to Beau once more. It was time for me to go. Since Beau and I had worked out our differences, this had become somewhat of our routine. Whenever I stopped by to spend the night with him, I would set my phone alarm to wake me up at four, so I could get home before the kids woke up and noticed I was gone. Some nights they were still up when I went out, and I usually felt Charlie staring at me, but she never asked questions. Other times, I waited until they were asleep before I slipped out.
I smiled and wrapped an arm around Beau’s naked hip. We’d made love last night and after our shower, we’d both been too exhausted to put on clothes. We were butt naked and pressed up against each other which was no hardship for me. I loved his hard body next to mine. I liked feeling the similarities and differences between us physically. He was slenderer than my frame.
Beau mumbled something incoherently in his sleep which I was now accustomed to. He talked in his sleep sometimes, especially when he was exhausted. I pressed a kiss to his freckled shoulder and buried my face in his hair. He smelled so damn good. I inhaled deeply. Just five more minutes and I would get up.
I must have fallen back asleep, and for a long time too because when I woke up, it was from Beau shaking my shoulder.
“Gordon, wake up.”
I groaned and turned over onto my stomach to bury my face in the pillow. He snatched it from beneath my head before I could connect with its softness.
“Come back to bed,” I mumbled and reached for him.
He did the opposite and rolled out of bed. He reached for the sheet and pulled it from my naked body. My eyes flew open, and I glared at him. It didn’t help that he was grinning.
“You look sexy as hell when you wake up mad,” he stated. “But I’m trying to get you up. You sleep like a damn log. We slept through your alarm.”
“What?” I blinked the sleep from my eyes and reached for my phone on the bed. “Shit!” I jumped out of bed, but my body had still some catching up to my brain. My legs folded beneath me and I went tumbling to the floor. A laughing Beau walked around the edge of the bed to help me up.
“You’re already going to be late so no need to kill yourself,” he remarked. “I’m going to need you later when the kids are gone.”
I pulled myself to my feet, allowing him to support my body. “You don’t understand,” I mumbled. “My wife’s sister is the one picking up the kids for the weekend. If she gets there before me, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Okay, let’s get you dressed then.”
He slipped into a robe and tossed me the clothes I had worn last night. I dressed in record time. “Hon, do you see my shoes?”
“I think you left them by the sofa,” he answered.
Yeah, that was where the stripping had started last night before we finally tumbled to his bedroom where I’d made him moan so loudly I thought someone next door would bang on the wall. He trailed me to the living room, and as much as I wished I could tug his robe off his body, I didn’t have the time to start anything between us. It was almost seven thirty. I'd never stayed here so late before.
“You still coming by later?” he asked me, and I glanced up at him. Our relationship had started off like a race car in a derby meet, quite fast, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’d wasted years of my life by people’s standards and this time I was living for me.
“Try to stop me,” I told him. “The kids will be gone for the long weekend. We'll finally have enough time to breathe and not rush."
"Great. I won't have to share you for a couple of days."
I probably should have invited him back to my place since mopping up the floor from the water sloshing from his bathtub was getting pretty old.
I cupped the side of his face. “We’ll watch that movie you were talking about last night.”
He smiled and turned his head to kiss my palm. “Okay. What time will you show up? I want to straighten things here before you drop by.”
I shrugged. “Noonish?”
“Hmm, you’re not hoping for a nooner, are you?”
“Hey, if you’re giving, I think I’ve proven to you that I won’t be the one complaining.”
“Well, my ass is sore, so we’re just watching a movie.”
I blushed. “Sorry. You should tell me if I’m going too hard.
”
He waved me away. “I loved every minute of it. Now go home so you can get your kids off for the weekend.”
He walked me to the door and opened it. He jiggled my keys at me, and I took them from him. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
As much as I was in a hurry, I couldn't leave without tasting him once more. I tipped his chin and kissed him slow and sweet. He moaned softly into my mouth, and I could feel the smile on his lips when I stopped kissing him.
With a wave, I left, my steps jaunty. I would be looking forward to spending the weekend together. Other than the hours we stole at his apartment, we never did much together, so I was looking forward to the weekend. When Barbara’s sister had called me up and suggested the kids spend the long weekend with her and their grandmother, I'd left it up to them if they wanted. I never expected them to agree, especially Ollie but since they had, I would make use of the time to grow closer to Beau. They didn’t have any school on Monday since Lacovia Academy always gave them Founder’s Day off.
We didn't have much planned for the weekend. We'd catch a movie and later go out to eat. Depending on Beau’s mood, we would probably go for dancing at Bottoms Up.
As I drove up to my house, my grin of anticipation disappeared when I saw the car parked in the front of the yard. I didn't recognize the vehicle since it looked new, but it had to belong to Iris, Barbara’s older sister.
I whispered a prayer that she wasn't here to start shit. Barbara and her sister had been close. I preferred distance between us. For some reason she never bothered to explain to me, she and I never did get along. She was kind to the kids though and treated them well, like her own, which was understandable since she never had any. She had married once, but it had ended in divorce shortly after. Her mother was divorced from their father as well which was the reason Barbara never wanted to get a divorce. She wanted to be different and prove to her family she could make her marriage work.
I parked next to the car and took in a deep breath before making my way up the steps. The door was unlocked, so I entered. I could hear chatter from the kitchen, so I went to investigate. I stopped just inside the entrance and watched Iris who was piling pancakes on plates for the two kids sitting across the table. She had even managed to rouse Ollie, and I wondered how long it took her to do that.
She stopped short when she saw me. She straightened her tall frame, and the muscles around her mouth tightened giving her a pinched look. Her dark brown hair was in its signature ponytail.
“You knew I was coming today and yet you weren’t here!” she complained, narrowing her eyes at me. “How could you let these babies alone overnight?”
I scowled at her for reprimanding me in front of the kids. “Good morning to you too, Iris,” I greeted, ignoring her comment about leaving the kids alone. They were far from babies, and I was just a call away if either had needed me throughout the night. “I didn’t expect you this early. You said you would be here at ten.”
“I changed my mind. If we want to arrive in Lake Charles on time, we should leave earlier.”
“You could have called me,” I told her, then turned to the kids because I had no reason to apologize to her. “Did you guys pack as I asked you to?”
“I did,” Charlie answered while Ollie grunted.
“Ollie?”
“What?”
I was still in too much of a good mood to snap at him. “Did you pack already?”
“Not yet.”
“Then do so as soon as you get through eating.”
“Can I take my breakfast up to my room and finish packing?” he asked, already getting to his feet.
Food wasn’t usually allowed upstairs, but I nodded mostly because my nosy sister-in-law wouldn’t approve. She needed to learn that I intended to run my household how I saw fit and without her interference.
“Go ahead. We need you both dressed and ready in half an hour. We wouldn’t want to keep your aunt waiting.”
“You’re not allowing him upstairs to eat, are you?” she asked, her voice taking on a high note. “Meals should be taken together when you’re a family. My sister would have never allowed this!”
A fork clattered onto a dish and a chair scraped on the floor. I turned from Iris to Charlie who had gone white.
“I-I better check if I packed everything I need,” she mumbled and fled the kitchen as well.
“You have no right coming into my home and upsetting my children like this,” I told her, trying my damnedest to reign in my anger. I’d just had a beautiful night with Beau. I was looking for a restful afternoon with him, and the last thing I needed was for this woman to annoy me to the point that she messed up my day. “I’m their parent here, and I get to decide what’s best for them.”
She reached for Charlie’s plate on the table. “And what’s best for them is you taking a lover, almost a year after they lost their mother tragically?”
I didn’t want to react to her barb, but my ears were already turning red. Finding someone so soon after Barbara had never been my plan, but it had happened. I felt it in my bones that this was the right time. It had nothing to do with what Barbara and I had but more of what I had with Beau, the way he made me feel and the way he responded to me.
“That’s my private affairs, and it’s certainly none of your business, Iris!” I snapped.
“Sometimes I wonder if she even took her own life,” she muttered under her breath.
I froze, alarmed at what she was implying. I always sensed she blamed me for her sister’s death but she’d never said anything so openly to insinuate it before. “What the hell are you accusing me of?” I demanded. “Do you think I had something to do with Barbara’s death?”
She shrugged without answering and moved towards the sink as though everything was right with the world. No, no fucking way after what she just said. I strode over to her and took the dishes from her. I plunked them into the sink so hard they likely suffered damage, but at the moment, getting clarification from Iris was what interested me.
“Listen to me well, Iris,” I spat at her. “Your sister took her own life without a thought of our children. If this nonsense is what you want to feed my kids, then you can get your ass back in your car and hit the road to Lake Charles! Without them!”
“No, no I didn’t mean anything by it,” she answered in a rush, wringing her hands together. "I know you’d never hurt Barb. It’s just hard sometimes, and the kids are the last connection I have with her. Mom is looking forward to seeing them.”
“I mean it, Iris. This is my home, and if you cannot respect that, then you’re not welcomed here.”
Chapter 17
Beau
When I opened the front door, and saw the look on Gordon's face, I immediately knew something was wrong. My smile instantly fell as the first thought I had was of his kids. While we didn’t speak much about his son, he had hinted enough that their relationship was rocky at best.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, stepping aside to allow him to enter my apartment. When he just stood there, worry lines knotting his forehead, I fisted his shirt and pulled him to me. I shoved the front door shut with a slam. He came to me willingly, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He slipped his hands around me as well and sighed.
“It’s my sister-in-law from hell,” he replied. “She got me all wound up before she eventually left with the kids. She’s the reason I’m late.”
He clung to me as though he didn’t want to let go. I stroked the hair at his nape, hoping to comfort him. “She must be one scary lady if you come apart after she has been here for only a few hours.”
“I’m not as tough as I look,” he grunted.
I chuckled and squeezed him. “I know. In fact, you’re a softie.”
He snapped his head back and scowled at me. “Take that back.”
“Okay, you’re a big, manly guy and there’s absolutely nothing soft about you.” My gaze shifted to the front of his jeans then to his face. His lips twitched as he
fought to control his smile. When he lost, I was relieved. I had high hopes for this afternoon and having a sister-in-law ruin that was not in my plans.
He leaned forward to kiss me, and I met him halfway. The sound of our wet lips smacking each other’s filled the room. I never knew another man whose kisses gave me an instant hard-on. He didn’t just kiss with his mouth but his very soul. Sometimes it scared me when at times like this, I got a glimpse of how close we had become. Of how much I was coming to be a part of his life. His hand crept down my belly, and I was almost distracted. Almost. I caught his hand in time before it reached my groin.
“That’s for later,” I told him, leading the way to the kitchen. “Let’s get a drink from the fridge to cool us off after that kiss. Anyone ever told you how great a kisser you are? I could kiss you for days.”
“Anyone ever told you that you can be quite bossy?”
“You should see me take charge in the bedroom.” I glanced over my shoulder and winked at him. He smirked in return.
“I can’t wait.”
My cock twitched in anticipation. Maybe this was the weekend when I would slap my claim on Gordon's ass. Although I wasn’t in a rush, I still anticipated being his first. And hopefully also his last. I wanted to be his last so badly, even more than his first.
While I took out two chilled beers for us, Gordon attempted to raid the cupboards. I allowed him to, knowing he would find them bare. I wasn’t keen on stocking up when it came to food. I hated eating alone and preferred to stop at restaurants to enjoy a meal. At least I could people-watch rather than think about being alone here in Louisiana. I smiled at Gordon’s back. I wasn’t alone now, though.
“Really?” he asked, turning to scowl at me. “You do know what cupboards are for, right? Why are they always empty?”
I shrugged. “I don’t like eating alone. Plus, I spend most of my time either at work or the community center.”
“This won’t do at all,” he remarked, closing the cupboard doors. He turned to face me. “You and I are going shopping.”
I made a face at him. “The food is just going to waste if I stock the cupboards, Gordon.”
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