“No, it won’t. I’ll eat it when I’m here, and I’m definitely going to need more than just beer for sustenance over the weekend. It's either that, or we go back to my place and spend the weekend there. That is about the only two choices you have.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “And you're calling me bossy?”
I was ambivalent about going to his house. My apartment might be a nothing compared to his home, but this was my own space that I was responsible for. I liked knowing my name was on the rent. I liked knowing the cash that I paid the landlord every month came from my own pocket. It might be simple, but it was mine.
“We’ll go shopping then,” I agreed.
"Good. I'll pay for the groceries, of course."
"Of course?" I scowled at him. "I can get my own groceries, thank you very much."
"Don't be like that. I don't mind," he argued.
"Well, I kinda do. Unless they are going into your cupboards at home, I'll pay for the groceries that are placed in mine."
He shook his head at me. "Let me do this for you. I run a very successful company, you know?"
I raised my eyebrows at him. "And?"
He muttered something under his breath about my stubbornness. "Fine, but we'll revisit this conversation sometime in the near future."
Our first argument settled, we left the house, taking his truck. A part of me was delighted he wasn’t opposed to being seen with me, but I tried not to overthink it. Anyone who saw us would automatically think that we were just good buddies.
At the supermarket, I directed the shopping cart while he stopped to select the items he wanted. I wasn't big on cooking, so I allowed him free reign.
“Will the kids be okay with your wife’s family?” I asked him as I pushed the shopping cart down the frozen section. I slowed down for him to observe the content of a freezer.
“Yeah, their aunt and grandmother dote on them,” Gordon responded, placing a container of burger meat in the cart. “It’s just me they’ve a problem with.”
“Any idea why?”
“It might be because I got their daughter pregnant and married before they thought she was ready.”
I wanted to ask him about his marriage. Since knowing Gordon, I’d discovered his very heart and attraction was for the same sex. How had he ended up with a woman and two kids?
“I was trying to do the right thing,” he said, sounding sad. “She got pregnant the first time we had sex. I was nineteen, naive and terrified my parents would disown me for the feelings I had for Richard Perry.”
“Richard Perry?” The name stuck in my head fast.
“Just some guy back in high school on the football team.” His casual remark chased away the sleeping beast of jealousy that reared its head. Shocked at how strongly I felt at the idea of another man catching Gordon's attention, I stopped abruptly. He turned and smacked right into the cart.
“Sorry,” I apologized, abandoning the cart to rub his tummy. His hand came down on top of mine, and right there in the middle of the frozen section of the supermarket, I discovered I had fallen in love with this man. I stared at him in awe, unable to look away even when he frowned, and the expression on his face started to get a little bit weird. I felt out of breath, and my face turned red.
“It’s fine. I’m not hurt,” he said, squeezing my hand. He lowered his voice and continued, “though I find your concern to be quite a turn on.”
“Gordon!”
I didn’t get a chance to reply because Gordon dropped my hand at the sound of his name. He turned to greet a tall, handsome blond guy dressed in police attire. He was around the same age as Gordon and they had a slight resemblance. He couldn't have been a brother though because Gordon was an only child. I stood to the side and watched. I sized up the man. Was this Richard Perry? Both men thumped each other on the back good-naturedly.
“Eric, it’s been a while!” Gordon exclaimed, and I sighed. This wasn’t Perry then, but some other man in his life he hadn’t told me about. From the big grin on his face and his relaxed posture, it was obvious they were close.
“I’ve been out of town on a short course,” Eric replied. “It’s been hectic for the past couple of weeks. What have you been up to? Where are the kids?” He glanced around and saw me then. For Gordon’s sake, I wished I was anywhere else. “And who is this?”
“The kids are at Iris’s and her mother for the weekend,” Gordon responded. He turned to observe me, and God helped him if he didn’t blush. “Uh-this-um.” If he stuttered once more, he would give away what we had been up to.
“Hey, I’m Beau,” I answered and held out my hand to him for a handshake. “I’m from out of town, and Gordon is kind enough to show me around.”
“Is that so?” Eric responded, pumping my hand vigorously until I thought they would go numb. He released my hand, and I wiggled my fingers to ensure they still worked.
“Yeah.” Gordon found his voice. “I took Beau to the supermarket to get a few things. Beau.” He turned to me, and the strain on his face was evident. “This is my best friend, Eric. We’ve been friends since high school.”
“Damn right about that,” Eric said with a grin. “We go way back.”
“I see.” I glanced at Gordon. He never talked to me about this friend of his. This observation now made me wonder if he was limiting how much of himself he revealed to me.
“Say, you guys want to catch the basketball game this evening?” Eric asked.
Gordon glanced from me to Eric, and I shrugged. I didn’t offer any help in making his decision. I hoped he wouldn’t agree. This weekend was to be about us spending some time together.
“I wasn’t really thinking of getting out this weekend,” Gordon answered, sounding unsure of himself.
Eric slapped a hand to Gordon's shoulder. “Come on, man. I get off work in another hour. I’ll go home, flip some burgers and we watch the game.” He glanced at me. “You too, Beau, since you’re new in town. I’m guessing you don’t have a lot of friends yet.”
“Not really,” I replied.
Gordon looked just about ready to burst into a sweat. “I kinda already made plans this evening.”
“I know for sure you’re not seeing anyone,” Eric insisted. “Or even if you are, bring this chick along. The more, the merrier. Any other plans I’m sure can be broken for a little time with your best pal.”
I knew the instant Gordon caved in. It showed on his face. When he was under stress, these fine lines appeared on his forehead.
“Alright, fine,” he answered. “What time’s the game and should we-I bring anything?”
“Awesome!” Eric grinned. “Be at my pad at six. The pre-game is on at seven.” He gave me another look. “Have Gordon give you my address as I’ve to run. Nice meeting you, Beau.”
“Yeah, same here.”
His radio was squawking as he retreated, waving at us. Gordon expelled a loud breath. “Fuck, what did I just agree to?”
“Relax,” I told him. “He just thinks we’re friends.”
He scratched the back of his head, frowning. “You think so?”
“I’m pretty positive.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He looked so damn relieved he hadn’t been outed. I tried not to be offended. I didn’t want to be offended, but my heart decided otherwise.
It fucking hurt to be dismissed by him as just friends.
I thought I hid my hurt from him pretty well until he drew closer to me. I wished he hadn’t. If we were in private, he would have touched me or hugged me. Kissed me even. But here, out in the open, he was resisting the urge.
“Beau,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you like this. You know you mean more to me than a friend, right?”
“Am I?” Damn, my voice came out cracked. I smiled to offset the sound. “It’s fine. Let’s continue with this grocery shopping.”
I tried to push the trolley, but his hand came down on mine and stalled me. “You know you mean more to me than a friend, rig
ht?” he repeated.
“Yes, I do know,” I answered because people walking by us were getting mighty curious and checking us out.
His face relaxed in a smile but turned serious again. “Good. I know I don’t have this all figured out yet. It’s going to take me some time to adjust and be like you in not giving a fuck what people want to say, but I promise you, I’ll get there.”
Would he though? While I never experienced being in a relationship with a man who was still in the closet, I’d seen it happen to friends in college. The relationship rarely lasted, and that knowledge was enough to give me a second thought.
Gordon squeezed my hand and brought my wandering mind back to him. “You’re worth it. Right?”
His question was the worst he could have ever asked. Was I worth it? The truth was that I didn’t know. My relationship with Ian hadn’t contributed much to my self-esteem but had done the opposite. His cheating, his lies, all left me feeling like something was wrong with me. Most days I felt fine and others, like now, I wasn’t sure about anything. I wasn’t sure I was worth it, but the earnest look in his eyes demanded an answer to his question. He was looking to me, a broken man, with scars buried so deep he would probably run if he was exposed to them all. But, nobody liked insecurities, so I nodded.
“Yeah, I’m worth it.” The tremble in my voice didn’t sound convincing to my own ears. It was a wonder he nodded and accepted it.
Chapter 18
Gordon
“Maybe I should have stayed home,” Beau commented when I parked my car at the front of Eric’s yard.
I killed the engine and glanced at him. He was rubbing at his temples as though he was developing a headache. It was all my fault. My nervous energy was hitting him the wrong way, and now he was hesitant too about us dropping by Eric’s for the game.
“No, I want you here,” I told him. Even saying it made me a little queasy but not because I didn’t want him here with me. I could have asked him to sit this one out and make up an excuse to tell Eric why he didn’t show, but that was the coward’s way out. Plus, if I wanted to key in my family and friends about my feelings for Beau, it was best that they got accustomed to seeing me with him.
“Are you sure?” he fretted. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I won’t be. All he’ll see are two friends. Come on.”
I stretched across the seat to peck him on the lips. I loved doing that and seeing his eyes light up afterward. He wasn’t smiling now though but looked a little lost. He had this same expression since we ran into Eric at the supermarket. I didn’t like this aloof side of him.
We exited the car, and I closed the door while Beau retrieved the six-pack from the back seat. Side by side, we walked. I guided him to the backyard where my nose led me. The aroma of burgers on the grill reminded me I had very little to eat today.
“You hungry?” I asked Beau. “Eric is a pro on the grill.”
“A little,” he answered. I squeezed his ass before we rounded the house and Eric materialized before us. His backyard was beautiful with a rectangular pool. Chairs were lined up on the lawn, and his grill was already fired up. He had a beer in one hand while flipping burgers with the other.
“I thought I heard you pull up,” he said with a grin when he saw us. “You guys came together?”
I’d at least prepared for that question. “Yeah, it made sense rather than risk Beau getting lost.”
Eric scoffed. “Not much around here for you to get lost.”
Eric nodded to Beau. “Go in and stack the beers in the fridge. My house is an open place. Feel free to come and go as you please.”
“Thanks, man.”
I watched Beau walk through the sliding doors and disappeared into the house. I turned back to Eric to find him watching me.
“What’s up with that guy?” he inquired. “How’d you meet him? Something about him seems a little off.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked, toeing off my trainers to sit by the pool with my feet dangling in the water. Eric opened a bottle of beer from the igloo packed with ice which was beside him. He handed it to me.
“Don’t know. Just a feeling. How’d you know him?”
“Would you believe me if I told you he’s Charlie’s French teacher?” I asked. The blood was rushing in my ears, but I was proud of the way I kept my shit together and answered his questions nonchalantly.
“No kidding!” he exclaimed. “So you're making friends with Charlie’s teachers now? Can’t be a bad thing for her grades.”
I scowled at him. “Of course not, but the guy’s from France.” I shrugged and left it at that. I owed him nor anyone else explanations.
“That explains the accent. Gotcha.”
If he’d wanted to say something else, Beau chose that minute to return, so he didn’t. Beau must have picked up that we had been discussing him because he gave me a questioning look.
“Anything I can do to help?” he asked Eric. I hadn’t even volunteered. He was just too sweet, but Eric wouldn’t let anyone around his precious grill.
“As a matter of fact, you can.” I frowned, wondering what he was up to when he handed Beau the spatula. “Flip the burgers for me, will you? They’re almost done. I need to go inside for a minute and make a call.”
When he entered the house, Beau spun toward me and waved the spatula. “Will you take over this thing? I’ve never flipped burgers before.”
I chuckled, relaxed now that we were alone. I pulled my feet out of the pool and got up. “You’ve never flipped burgers before? How come?” I removed the spatula from his hand, checked to ensure we were still alone before I kissed him. He smelled good with just a hint of smoke from the grill. I growled into his mouth, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. Between our bodies, his cock began to harden against my thigh.
“You’ve got to stop kissing me like that Gordon,” he whispered. “You’re being a tease and knowing I can’t do anything about it. You’re working hard on being fucked, aren’t you?”
“Promises. Promises. Promises.”
His lips twitched. “We’ll see when I get you back to my place.”
“You’re on.”
If anyone had told me even a month ago that I would be flirting with another man about him making love to me, I would have laughed in their face. Now smiling at Beau, I couldn’t think of anything else in the world that I would want.
“For fuck’s sake, you’re burning the goddamn burgers!”
Eric’s shout brought me back to the present and damned right if I didn’t smell the burgers. He whisked the spatula from me.
“I don’t mind eating the burnt ones,” I offered, cringing when he shot me a glare.
“What was so damn important you forgot about our food?” he asked.
We all heard the car driving into the yard which was perfectly timed to avoid answering his question. Eric removed the burgers and placed them on a platter. He returned the tray to the table by the grill.
“Are you expecting company?” I asked him.
“Yeah, that would be a few guys from work,” he answered. “Did you think we were gonna eat all these burgers by ourselves?”
I grabbed his arm before he could move off to greet his other guests who were parking. “Hey man, I thought you meant just us. I didn’t know this was gonna be a party.”
“Eight people hardly make a party,” he answered and turned to Beau. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Beau looked uncomfortable but shook his head. “Not at all.”
We stood our ground and watched the small gang that walked around to the backyard where we were. Two of the other guys I knew from his work. Carlos, the Latino guy, was his partner. I had met Drew, the red-headed cop at a party once. The third guy, who was short and stocky was unfamiliar. After greeting them with fist bumps and shoulder slaps, Eric introduced him as Rocky, then included the one woman who had traveled with them. Celeste was introduced to us as a member of the police department as well.
She worked in dispatch. From the way she was eyeing me, I knew Eric had whispered a bug in her ear.
The ‘not-quite-a party’ was almost as loud as one with so many men in the yard. We were forced to listen to cop jokes and details about their job. Beau didn’t speak much, and I was conscious of him the whole time we sat in the backyard eating. Everyone just grabbed a folding chair and took over a spot. He sat with Carlos and Drew. I would have wanted him to sit beside me, but as soon as I perched on a chair, Celeste occupied the seat I was saving for Beau.
“Eric speaks a lot about you,” she said, distracting me from the story Drew was telling.
“Wish he had told me about you,” I remarked before I could stop myself. I thought she would be offended, but she took my words the opposite way. The truth was, if I had known what Eric had up his sleeve, I would have turned down his offer when he had made it.
Celeste leaned closer to me and trailed her fingertips over my forearm. I fought not to pull away from her. Her flirtation would have been amusing except when I glanced over at Beau, he was bothered by it. He was frowning at us, his eyes shooting daggers at Celeste. My heart skipped a beat to see him so possessive. It felt good that he wanted me all for himself.
“There’s plenty of time to get to know me tonight,” she answered and shifted her head, so her long brown hair cascaded down one shoulder. She was a hot woman and knew it. She had excellent features and the cutest set of dimples that any straight man would find hard to resist.
“Eric’s got a thing about talking through the game,” I told her. “I doubt we’ll learn much.”
She continued flirting with me while I deadpanned her. It took her another fifteen minutes before she gave up, realizing I wasn’t interested. I was relieved when she got up from beside me, but as soon as we settled in front of Eric’s sizeable curved TV, she situated herself on the arm of Beau’s chair.
Beau managed to be amused, and they chatted in low tones not to disrupt us who were concentrating on the game. I cocked my ears trying to listen in on their conversation. If I didn’t know Beau was gay, I would have thought he was falling for her charms.
Easy Does It Twice Page 13