Easy Does It Twice

by Gianni Holmes

  I wasn’t used to this pity party but had no idea how to come out of my funk. I so badly wanted to take up my phone and call Gordon, if even to listen to his voicemail, but I couldn’t risk him picking up. I’d crack if he answered the phone. I wouldn’t be able to contain how much I missed him and wanted him. Better to leave well enough alone.

  This evening was the third practice I would be missing with my group of teens at the community center. Everything had been running smoothly. Next month we would have given the community the show of their lifetime. The kids had been looking forward to it too, but I doubted anyone showed up for rehearsals given the reaction of their parents which was about to cost me my job.

  My phone rang, and I ignored it. Until it rang twice more, and I decided maybe it was important. I was surprised to find the call was from the manager of the community center. I had been expecting this for some time now. Some of the sponsors of the play had already called me directly to pull out of supporting us. Without them, we would never be able to get everything together we needed to set up stage and costumes.

  “Mr. Sawyer,” I answered the phone. “How may I help you?”

  “Beau, where are you?” he asked. “The kids say you’ve not been to rehearsals over the last days.”

  “What?” I sat up on the sofa. “The kids are there?”

  “Of course they are here. Why wouldn’t they be?”

  “But-but the parents. The video…” I trailed off. He must be one of the few people who had not yet seen the video.

  “What about the video? Listen, no one has been interested in building up this community center until you came along. These kids have been looking for something to be a part of, and you started this. I don’t give a damn if you're ET. You’re going to finish what you started. Are you getting here or not?”

  My heart lurched with the first twinge of life in days. “Yes, sir. I’ll be there.”

  “Good. I have faith in what you’re trying to do in this town, Beau. You are exactly what we've needed here in Lacovia.”

  After the call ended, I sat dazed for about five minutes before running to the bathroom to take my first shower of the day. My hair was a mess, and I needed to shave but had no time to stop to do that. I couldn’t believe the kids had still shown up for practice. I doubted all would be there, but we could always amend parts of the play to suit with those we had.

  The drive to the community center was the longest I’d had since I started going there. I impatiently thought if I took too long to get there, the kids would leave. I was still in awe that they had shown up the days when I hadn’t been there.

  I was even more overwhelmed when I entered the auditorium and noted almost the full complement of students were present. There was silence upon my entry, but one student stood and cheered. One by one the others followed. I was all ready to cry at their support but blinked the tears away. I noted one very distinct individual who was missing. Charlie. Three others were not present as well.

  “Thank you so much, guys,” I told them. “And sorry for not being here the last two rehearsals. I wasn’t sure you’d turn up.”

  "Why wouldn't we, Mr. Moreau?" Katie asked. "Everybody's freaking out about nothing. I think the adults are the ones blowing things out of proportion."

  I smiled at her observation but did not agree or contradict her. I got right into the rehearsal session to do damage control. Thankfully, two of the individuals who had dropped out of the play were stagehands rather than the actors. It was hands down the best practice we’d ever had. As though they had something to prove, the kids put out their best, minimizing errors they usually made. I didn’t have to correct that much stage directions nor to remind anyone not to turn their backs to the audience.

  At some point during the rehearsals, I sensed when someone entered. I glanced behind me, smiling as I told them to take five before we would do the final re-run. Charlie stood inside the entrance, her hands clutched before her. Her eyes skittered over the room before landing on me. I was so overjoyed to see her but refrained from showing it. I had no idea why she was here yet. Neither would I take it for granted she had forgiven me. I knew she’d had a crush on me, and I wondered how much of her reaction had to do with that as well.

  In the end, I decided not to do anything. She took a seat at the back to watch instead of joining the cast. I turned back to the group and spoke to one of the guys playing one of the children at the orphanage. While rehearsing, they had come up with ideas that I allowed them to incorporate in the play.

  We completed the final run of rehearsals, and everyone was just so full of energy and life. Nobody grumbled, but they were in good spirits as they filed out of the community center one by one to go home. I noticed Charlie did not leave with them. She remained at the back, slumped in the chair, huddling away from the other kids in a defensive manner. I was considering whether to ignore her or approach her when she decided for me.

  “Mr. Moreau?” she called softly and finally rose from the seat.

  I turned to watch her approach me. “Yes, Charlie?” It didn’t escape me that she had moved from being Charlotte to Charlie to me. This was no longer just professional. It was as personal as it could get when I was so madly in love with her father.

  “Mr. Moreau, I owe you an apology for the way I acted when you saw me at the school,” she told me, clinging to the loop in her jeans. “I hope it's not too late to answer your question.”

  “No, Charlie. You don’t have to.” But the gesture melted my heart. What was it about the Mattis clan that I'd allowed them to wedge their way into my heart?

  She nodded, staring me right in the eyes this time. “Yes, I do,” she answered. “Let me explain. I was mad when I found out about you and my father.” Her cheeks turned red, and her voice changed, lowered. “I was confused about it all because my father and mother were married. So, this was a shock.”

  “I understand that.” I didn't really. I didn't think I could ever understand what went through the mind of a teenager who discovered their father was gay the way she and Ollie had.

  “I was also upset because you were the teacher who helped me to be more assertive,” she continued. “A year ago, I would have never been able to make this apology. I do believe you’re an awesome teacher and we will be the ones to lose should you leave us.” She glanced away from me now.

  “Thanks, Charlie.” I wasn't done with tears as I'd thought, but I held it in since I didn't want to embarrass her. I felt a huge load rolling off me and never realized how much I wanted the approval of Gordon's kids. If only we could find Ollie.

  “There’s just one question, if I may be allowed to ask you.”

  “Go ahead.” I would have allowed her to ask me mostly anything.

  “Do you love my father?”

  “Excuse me?” I exclaimed because this wasn’t a question I was prepared for.

  “Do you love him?” she repeated. “I haven’t acted much like a daughter recently, but I love my dad. I don’t think he was very happy with my mom, and he’s such an awesome dad. I think he deserves love the second time around. It’s such a pity that doing it twice still doesn’t make it easy.”

  Bowled over at the maturity of this child, it took me a while to reply. I hoped Gordon knew the gem he had in his daughter. Suddenly I wanted to be there to watch her as she grew up.

  “I understand if you think it's none of my business,” she said when I took too long to answer. “I treated my dad horribly, and that was wrong. We are still trying to heal, and Ollie is missing. Still, I'd like to know.”

  “It's well within your rights to ask,” I told her. “And yes, I love and care for your father very much. But any other question about our relationship, it might be best to talk to him about it. It’s not my place to comment. I hope you understand that. Your father will talk to you if you are receptive, Charlie.”

  “I will,” she affirmed then dragged in a deep breath that hitched a little. “I just had to know that question though before,�
� she paused and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Before I told you that you have my permission to date my dad.”

  If Gordon and I decided to date, there was nothing she or anyone else could do about it. As smart as she was, she had to know that. Still, her willingness to let me know she approved of our relationship was damn near the sweetest gift anyone could have offered me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I did neither but responded to her in the same way she had approached me. Looking her squarely in the eyes, I gave her a respectful nod.

  “Thank you.”

  Chapter 33

  Gordon

  “Ollie, please. Even if you don’t want to come home, at least send me a message to let me know you’re fine. I’m worried about you, son. I love you.”

  I sent the voicemail and placed my phone on the dashboard before starting my truck. Charlie had informed me that she would be going to the community center and had asked me to pick her up. I hadn’t been there since the night I’d kissed Beau on the stage, and I had planned to stay away. I was nervous about seeing Beau again. There had been little contact between us as I focused on finding Ollie instead. My mother and I had done several routes, sticking the missing posters in public places. So far, I'd heard nothing, but I was not giving up hope. I would never give up hope I’d see my son again.

  I blew my horn at Glenna, and smiling, allowed her car to get ahead of me to join the evening traffic. The evening was beautiful as I watched the sunset, casting a splash of orange light in the sky. I didn’t even mind the traffic because I felt at peace. Each day I would live with the hope it was the day I would be reunited with Ollie. And if I didn’t, the next day I would continue hoping.

  The closer I approached to the community center, the more my heart increased its tempo. I was excited about seeing Beau again. So much time had passed since the two of us had seen each other. I spotted his parked car and had to spend five minutes in the car to calm down. I had so much to say to him, but probably wouldn’t be able to say it until we found some time alone. I was here to pick up Charlie and nothing else. Still, I was hungry for a sight of him.

  I entered the auditorium with my hands deep inside the fronts of my pockets. I was trying to go for casual.

  I spotted them the instant I entered. Charlie and Beau were facing each other, and their sides turned to the door, so they didn’t see me. I frowned, wondering if Charlie was giving him hell. She had been improving over the last couple of days, but I had no idea what her feelings were with regards to Beau.

  As I approached them, I had every intention of announcing myself, but then I got a snippet of their conversation.

  “I just had to know that question though before,” Charlie was saying. “-before I told you that you have my permission to date my dad.”

  I came to such an abrupt halt I almost lost my balance. My beautiful girl. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as her words sank. She was granting us her blessings. I did not take it for granted. This was not easy for her to do. She had loved her mother, and much time had not lapsed for her to forget the family we had been. Still, she was reaching out to us, meeting us halfway. At that moment, if she wanted the moon, I would have lassoed it for her.

  “Thank you,” I heard Beau tell her.

  “Yes, thank you,” I added, and both heads swung in my direction. Charlie’s face went red, but she ran to me, her arms wrapped around my waist. I hugged her back.

  “I’m so sorry, daddy,” she whispered.

  “Me too. Me too.”

  I glanced over her head at Beau to find his eyes shiny with unshed tears. A lump stuck in my throat. I’d missed him. God, how much I’d missed this man. How could someone I’d known for so little time affect my emotions in this way?

  “Hi,” I said to him, releasing Charlie.

  “Hi,” he said back with a smile. “I’m sorry about your son.”

  I nodded. “We’ll find him.”

  “Dad, I’ll go sit in the car,” Charlie announced, taking the car keys from my hands.

  “Okay. I’ll be there in a few.”

  She hurried from the auditorium to give us privacy. She had hardly left when Beau and I stepped towards each other at the same time. He walked into my arms, and I clutched him to me, inhaling his scent. He clung to me, grabbing the end of my jacket. We didn’t speak for a while, just savored the moment we never thought we would ever get to be together again. I closed my eyes and tried to brand his scent and his form in my arms to my mind.

  “I don’t know how much longer I would have been able to go on without you,” he whispered. “Being apart fucking hurt, man.”

  “Shh. I know it did. I know, but things are getting better.”

  “Yes.” He leaned back to look up at me. “I can’t believe the kids showed up today for practice. Not after the way parents protested to the video and had me placed on administrative leave.”

  “What?”

  “You didn’t know?” he asked, pulling back a little, but I wasn’t ready to let him go just yet.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “I assumed you would have heard from Charlie.”

  “Beau, Charlie hasn’t spoken to me until a couple of days ago. My time has been filled with finding out where Ollie is and trying to keep my business afloat, after half a dozen workers quit on me.”

  “Oh no. Are you okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I got it taken care of. Little by little everything is working itself out.”

  He sighed. “I hope that’s the same case with the school. I’m having a hearing day after tomorrow to find out if I’m fired or not.”

  “They can’t fire you.”

  “Under their morality clause in the contract, they can. I’ve no legal representation here, Gordon. As an foreign teacher, my avenue for arbitration is very slim.”

  “That’s some bullshit right there.”

  He smiled, but sadness filled his eyes. “I know. Little I can do about it though.”

  “I meant what I said,” I told him, staring deep into his eyes. “I’ll marry you so that you can stay with us and never leave. France is a world away, Beau. I can’t have you there while I am here. If nothing, these couple weeks without you have taught me how much you’ve come to mean to me.”

  He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. “Thank you, but we shouldn’t feel compelled to get married.”

  “But I’ll do it.”

  He shook his head. “Come on. Help me lock up. We can talk about this when it’s necessary.”

  “Okay but just know that’s my offer, and it won’t change.”

  We locked up in silence, but it was a companionable one. I loved just seeing him in my peripheral vision. My car was parked beside his, so we walked side by side.

  “Dad, can we stop for pizza on the way home?” Charlie asked, sticking her head through the window.

  “Sure thing. That sounds good.”

  I turned to wish Beau goodnight and that I’d see him later. I had to hold him in my arms tonight. It had been too long.

  “Mr. Moreau,” Charlie called, interrupting me. “Do you want to join us?”

  Beau glanced at me surprised, but I only smiled. Charlie was showing us that she was here to give us support. The only blemish on my happiness remained the absence of my son. Now if only we could win over Ollie. I left him a voicemail every single day to remind him I loved him, and he could always come home, but nothing.

  “I don’t want to intrude,” Beau said.

  “We want you to come with us,” she insisted. “Right, dad?”

  “That’s right.”

  Beau’s lips curved into the most beautiful smile. “Okay. I’ll follow you guys in my car.”

  I squeezed his hand, and we separated only to meet up at Beth’s Pizzeria moments later. The restaurant was a casual setting that was a favorite place for me to take the kids back when everything was normal. Although I was so aware of the one person missing from our table, I tried to focus on the moment.

 
“Have you been here before?” I asked Beau as we occupied a booth.

  “I came one Friday with some teachers from the school,” he answered. “The food’s good.”

  “It sells the best pizza around,” Charlie added. “Dad, you know what pizza I like. Can you order for me? I need to use the restroom.”

  “Okay. Can you also call your grandmother and let her know where we are?”

  She nodded and slid from the booth to use the bathroom. I watched her go and realized Beau was doing the same thing. He looked impressed.

  “I can’t believe how well she’s taking this,” he said. “You know I tried talking to her at the school once, and she ignored me. I never thought she would talk to me again.”

  “Not many people would care if a child doesn’t speak to them.”

  “She’s not just any child. She’s yours, and I so wanted her to like me.”

  I smiled at him. “I think she does.”

  A waitress appeared and took our order. When she left, I reached across the table for Beau’s hands. “You need a shave,” I told him.

  “Yeah, well I had no one to complain since I wasn’t kissing anyone.”

  “Well, that’s going to change. I’ll be seeing you later.”

  He groaned. “Don’t say things like that. You’re going to make me think about sex and your daughter will be back any minute now.”

  “Okay. Then tell me what you’ve been up to the past two weeks.”

  He brought me up to date with what happened for him to be placed on administrative leave. I was outraged on his behalf that parents had called into the school to protest him teaching their children. Shouldn’t the important thing be that he was a damn good teacher?

  “Dad.”

  I glanced up from Beau to Charlie who approached our table. Her face was white and her eyes wide.

  “What is it?” I asked, alarmed that someone had done or said something to her while she went to use the bathroom.

  “It’s Ollie,” she gasped. “He’s here.”