Catching Fireflies

by Terri E. Laine

  “I did it to scare him. I didn’t really want it.”

  “Save your bullshit for someone else. And we will get a DNA test.”

  “But your father is no longer with us.”

  “Somehow I think they can work those details out. You wouldn’t be the first woman to claim paternity after a man died.”

  “You’re being unreasonable.”

  “You’re being a selfish bitch. But that comes naturally to you.”

  “You can be cruel to me all you want. I might deserve some of it. But don’t you dare treat your brother like this or I won’t let you see him.”

  “I’m not like you, Mother. I got my personality from Dad. Ian will be fine. I’d never treat him like the stepson way you treated me. It’s not his fault you gave birth to him.”

  Her mouth shut. Tears streamed down her face before she fled. Doors closed and the TV turned off, leaving the house silent. Brie stepped outside and just stood quietly, waiting before I reached for her. I embraced her, exhaling all the pent-up hurt from these past days and years ago as well.

  “You came back. I wasn’t sure.”

  “Silly boy.” She lightly punched my shoulder.

  “Oh, I wasn’t going to let you get away with it.” I switched our positions and caged her in with my arms on either side of my head. “You had a choice before. Once you gave me your body, your soul became mine, too. I don’t plan to ever let you go.”

  Her chin cocked up stubbornly, so I bent and kissed her. I stroked my tongue over hers in a promise of what I planned to do later.

  “You’re mine, too. Don’t forget that,” she declared. Her fingers burned into my skin. “Seriously, though, are you okay?”

  My mother wasn’t a topic I felt in the mood of discussing.

  “I don’t want to talk about her. But there is something you need to know.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You left in such a hurry, you didn’t give me a chance to explain. Nothing happened between Lindsey and me. She gave me a ride home the first time I was with Dad in the hospital. I told her thanks and expected her to leave. Instead, she came into the bathroom thinking something would happen between us. I sent her packing, I swear.”

  “You don’t owe me an explanation. Like I said before, we weren’t together then. How sane would I be to get mad at you for stuff you did before there was an us?”

  “You…” I began.

  The words struggled to leave my throat.

  “You don’t have to say anything. Show me how you feel,” she breathed.

  I lifted her up and wrapped one leg around me, and she did the other. I carried her through the house and opened the door to my father’s room. I’d claimed it as mine since he passed on. The bed was larger, and there was enough for me to enjoy every inch of her.

  Sliding down his body, he set me slowly on my feet at the foot of the bed. Then, without a word, he knelt before me. I thought for sure things were going to move fast, but he didn’t seem to have hurrying on his mind.

  He unbuttoned my jeans and why had I worn jeans? Gently, he peeled them down my legs like we had all the time in the world. He hadn’t really touched me yet, but my heart galloped like a thoroughbred. I would probably pass out before he got them off me.

  After lifting each foot, he kissed and nipped at my thighs before bending his head back to gaze at me. Eyes of blue flame locked onto me. He stared at me like I was a fantasy, his dream girl. I let out a choked breath, feeling more beautiful than I ever had. Yet, I stood before him, rounded belly and with more hips than I wanted, and he didn’t seem to mind.

  He leaned in and kissed the center of me, never breaking his piercing gaze. Unhurriedly, he stood. His fingers dug into my skin at my waist, heating it with each touch. As he lifted my shirt over my head, his hands slid up the sides of my rib cage and grazed my breasts.

  Threading fingers through my hair, he brushed his thumbs across my wet cheeks.

  “Don’t cry, firefly. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

  I hadn’t realized I was crying. How could I not, feeling his emotion through each of his actions?

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “It’s just you make me feel so pretty, and no one has ever made me feel that way before.”

  Brushing his lips over mine once then twice, he finally pressed a light kiss against my mouth. Then his forehead met mine.

  “Those other guys were fools, but I’m not sorry they didn’t treat you the way you deserve.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you might be with someone else right now.”

  A mix of a sob and laugh burst from my throat. “If I didn’t know you, I would think you’re a clever liar just trying to get in my pants.”

  “And I must not be doing something right if I’m making you cry.”

  Bending my neck, I kissed his soft lips. “Happy tears.”

  Lightly, he wiped the wetness from my face. “You have to know you are the sun, the moon, and the stars for me. You are my universe, my center of gravity, my reason for existing.”

  “And you’re going to continue to make me cry if you keep saying things like that.”

  He pressed gentle kisses to each of my eyes before ridding me of the remaining tears. Then he took my mouth, seeking entrance. I gasped, letting him in, tangling my tongue with his, deepening our connection.

  It was a long while before his hands left my hair. The back of his fingers grazed my checks, down my neck, and across my shoulders. My bra straps tumbled off in the process. He gripped my arms as he brought us closer. Then his large hands spanned across my back and freed the clasp with a flick of his fingers.

  Stepping back, my bra fell from my body, hitting the floor somewhere below me.

  I stood again with breasts that hung a little too low to be called perky as he inspected me. My own insecurities screamed at me to cover myself even though he’d seen all of me before. But this time light trailed through the sheer panels that covered the window. Darkness had hidden some of my imperfections the other times. The light exposed them all.

  “Perfect,” he whispered.

  The word fell from his lips as if he hadn’t meant for me to hear it. He moved in and kissed my neck. I never knew skin outside of my nether regions could be so sensitive. I squirmed in his hold, closing my eyes, trying to focus on the sensations. His hands cradled my breasts right before he gave a slight shove that sent me tumbling onto the bed. My arms were bent and spread just above my head.

  “You are what’s beautiful in this world, Brie.”

  I would have responded. Only he tugged off his shirt and I studied his perfection. Every muscle was defined as if chiseled by a sculptor’s hand. Every ridge, every curve was pronounced as if he were the embodiment, the example of what a male form should be. Then he dropped his jogging shorts, and he was commando underneath. His dick sprung free, long, hard, and thick.

  The bed dipped as his knee pressed into it before he crawled on, then in between my legs, and over me.

  Our mouths collided as his fingers tweaked my nipple, probing and gently squeezing. I wanted more. I wanted his mouth there. Whenever he did, it was like a circuit existed between that and my core. It heightened everything.

  “Tell me what you want,” he said, with a keen sense of my mind or more likely my body.

  Still not brave enough to give voice to my needs or my wants, I guided his head where I wanted it. Our gazes locked, and he smiled before hooking his fingers under the side of my panties and pulled them free of my legs. Then he was back, using his tongue to make my eyes glaze over. His finger glided in my body. In tandem, the suction and pushing made me as tight as a bowstring.

  “Please,” I finally begged.

  My voice was feeble compared to how badly I needed him inside me. His fingers vanished, my body hummed. I arched my back, wanting so very badly for him to speed things up. But he moved away and seconds after, the head of him was there at my opening. His touch danced up my arms before
he twined our hands together.

  Moving, I felt every inch of him push into my body. My breath hitched. My body moved of its own accord to match his strokes. He made love to my mouth with his as he loved every curve and juncture of my body.

  He wouldn’t let me close my eyes as he focused on me.

  “Keep your eyes on me,” he whispered as he moved one of our clasped hands down.

  Releasing our fingers, he smoothed mine out and took my wrist and guided me so I would touch myself. I’d done it before, but something about him moving in me while I did it, took the experience to a height I hadn’t known before.

  Curiosity had me spread the tip of my fingers lower. I wanted to touch him and found the base of his cock was coated with all things me. He groaned as I made contact. His hand moved to stoke my clit while my hand was otherwise occupied. Wildfires raged within me.

  I soared when my orgasm hit, sprouting up and out to every nerve ending. He pulsed inside me, cresting my wave as his body jerked. He followed me over the cliff as we dove into the abyss together.

  It took us both a couple of minutes to recover. Then he tenderly kissed me again. That time it spoke what neither of us could say. When he eventually rolled to his side, he wrapped his huge arms around me. I nuzzled in his chest and closed my eyes, letting the emotions settle inside me.

  “This is how it should have been the first time,” he breathed.

  I searched his eyes but found he truly believed that.

  “No, it was perfect, and don’t you dare take that away from me.”

  “But I was…”

  “You were everything I could have imagined, and better than anything I dreamed of. And this time was perfect, too.”

  “No, if anything is perfect, it’s you. And I’m the luckiest son of a bitch to be able to claim you as mine.”

  We must have dozed off because I woke with my head on his chest, his arm curved around me. I’d seen the exhaustion on his face when I’d arrived. It was easy to deduce that he hadn’t been sleeping. I stayed there listening to his even breaths, listening to his heartbeat, and let him rest. Somewhere along the way, I’d fallen back asleep.

  I woke again, alone and cold. Clutching the covers around me, I heard movement in the kitchen. I rolled off the bed and reveled in the feeling that he’d been there. His shirt still lay on the floor, but his shorts were gone. I covered myself in his scent, wearing his shirt as I stepped out of the room. The smell of breakfast filled the halls. I followed it.

  Chance’s back was to me as he worked the stove. My eyes focused on him. His biceps bulged, bent as they were while he used a spatula. I jumped when I heard a voice to my left.

  “Hey, cupcake. Be still, my heart.”

  There on the sofa sat Sawyer.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Apparently, I have good timing. You look absolutely delicious. Forget breakfast, Abbott. I found what I want to eat.”

  Chance muttered something, but I spoke too and missed it. “Stop being a flirt.”

  “No, Brie. Not when it comes to you.” Then he glanced Chance’s way. “Sorry, bro. But I kind of hoped you would strike out with her. I wanted to make a move.”

  “You are such a liar,” I said.

  “And you look so damn cute. Are you wearing anything under there?”

  He moved, and quickly I had to jump back out of his reach.

  “Dude, I will kill you if you touch her.” Chance laughed, but it was edged with warning.

  I ducked into his bedroom and searched his drawers for a pair of boxers. When I found a pair, I had to roll them at the waist so they wouldn’t fall down. Then I came back in and narrowed my eyes with my hands on my hips. I launched an inquiry at Sawyer.

  “I thought you were taking care of our friends?”

  He held up his hands. “I was, but Lenora kicked me out. Said I needed a break. I figured I’d make a run here to see if my brother here needed my help.”

  I relaxed. “That was nice of you.”

  He smirked. “I can be nice.”

  That was true. He acted like an ass at times, but he used it to hide the sweet guy beneath it all.

  Chance turned around, and the grin he held didn’t hide the sadness beneath. Sawyer and I glanced at each other. He caught it, too.

  Like the angel she was, she drifted over to my side and snuggled against me.

  “Let us take care of everything,” she offered.

  She referred to any arrangements I needed to make for Dad.

  “You don’t need to.”

  I pointed at the coffee table that sat in front of Sawyer. On it was the envelope I’d read through again this morning.

  “Dad has everything worked out. He paid on two plots several years ago. Everything is covered from the funeral, to the casket, to the headstone. It’s like he planned it all with the funeral home and the cemetery.”

  Shifting back to the stove, I flipped the pancakes. Brie moved next to me again. Her hand rubbed circles on my back.

  “That was very considerate of him. He thought well enough ahead to free you from that burden.”

  I glanced over at her. “That’s the thing. There was a handwritten note inside for me. He’s listed everything from who I should notify to contacts for the house note and all the utilities. He even wrote an obituary for himself. And it’s new, because he talks about me graduating from college in a year.” It still stabbed me in the chest, like maybe his death had been preventable. “What the fuck? Did he know something he didn’t tell me?”

  Using the back of my hands, I wiped at my eyes, hoping nothing leaked out.

  “Maybe he did.”

  “Yeah, and what a son I was. Even in death, he’s still taking care of me. Where was I when he needed me to take care of him?”

  I stacked the last pancake onto a plate. “Breakfast is served,” I announced. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  Holding it in, I didn’t exhale until I closed the door to Dad’s bedroom. I shucked my shorts and stepped into the shower, not waiting for the water to run hot.

  I pushed back my wet hair before leaning a forearm on the tile in front of me and resting my head on it. Cold water sluiced down my back, causing shudders to rack through my body. Water dripped from my hair to my face, or so I told myself, as emotion ran from my eyes that made me tremble and shake from the force of it.

  Kindness I didn’t deserve began as a hand on my back and whispered words into my ear, “You are not alone,” and a warm body pressed against me.

  Love had been removed from my vocabulary after my mom, after Lindsey. All the while, I took what had been given to me for granted, my father, Brie. Heaven smiled at me by giving me a second chance with Brie. But how I longed, wished, prayed in vain I could go back in time and tell my father how important he was to me. How much his love had carried me through and made me who I was today.

  Brie nudged me to turn so I could face her. I did, the water from the showerhead hiding my weakness.

  “You don’t have to be strong for me. Let me be strong for you.”

  Tears fell from her eyes for the both of us. Taking her courage, her strength, and everything she offered, I longed for the day it wouldn’t hurt so badly, the day I would be the man my father had wanted me to be.

  It shouldn’t have been where my head was. But joining with her, so easily we fit, I found peace in my heart, in my soul. I loved her with all of me, with all I had to give, and hoped it was enough.

  We took our time doing everything from start to finish, including toweling off and getting dressed. I had to snag her bag from the other room because Sawyer hadn’t left. Brothers through thick and thin. I’d always wanted siblings that I didn’t have. Outside of finding out about Ian, I had three more, Kelley, Sawyer, and Ashton.

  “I wondered if you ever planned to come out of that room,” he jested.

  “Fuck you,” I said, finding I was able to grin.

  “No, the fucking all happened in there.” His thumb ho
oked back toward the wall shared with Dad’s bedroom. “These damn paper-thin whatever you have didn’t hide anything. I turned the news on so I could lose my chub. Are you sure you don’t want to share?” His smile became so big, it looked like he doubled the amount of teeth. “Sharing is caring. My mom always said.”

  “Keep your dick in your pants and no beating off in my house. I don’t want to find your jizz anywhere.”

  He beamed at me. “You don’t know what you’re missing. Maybe you should ask Brie. Most girls I know don’t want one guy after they’ve had two.”

  “That’s your and Ash’s thing.”

  “Not anymore,” he muttered, a frown working its way on his face.

  Not knowing what else to say, I left Sawyer to his thoughts and brought Brie’s bag in. I lay on the bed and folded my hands behind my head.

  She was bent over, digging for clothes. When she straightened, she found me watching her.

  “Why are you staring at me?”

  “What else would I possibly want to look at?”

  Her cheeks turned pink. She shook her hair. It fell over her shoulders, covering her breasts. I had to fist my dick and think down boy in my head. She covered herself with clothes, which was a damn shame.

  She brought me over a shirt. “Let’s not leave Sawyer alone too much longer. There’s no telling what he might do.”

  Agreeing, I put it on and followed her back into the living room. As the day progressed, I got what Brie said earlier about the fact that I wasn’t alone. She and Sawyer were there as I made the dreaded calls to the funeral home, hospital morgue, and the cemetery.

  They were there when I had to go through my father’s closet to get a suit. We rode together in Dad’s truck to the funeral home where I finalized the arrangements. The staff would handle the obituary announcement. I only added a few lines to what Dad had written.

  “We should grab some lunch before I head back,” Sawyer announced.

  His mention of food reminded me I hadn’t eaten. All the pancakes had disappeared by the time I emerged with Brie from the room. We drove to the local diner. I held Brie’s hand as we entered. It was late enough in the day that the place was packed with locals, including high school students. I remembered hanging out there on occasion way back when.