Virgin

by Gadziala, Jessica

  Spooning.

  It was a silly word.

  And one he would probably hate if I murmured about it aloud.

  But I let the smile spread, a private little joy, as he sputtered some of my hair out of his mouth before finally settling still, his chin on top of my head.

  "Hey Ty?" I called a while later, long enough that I was sure he was asleep, which would have let my long-contemplated question fall on deaf ears.

  "Yeah?"

  Damnit.

  Now I had to ask him.

  "What are we supposed to do now?"

  There was a short pause. "I was planning on getting some sleep, waking up, fucking you again, then going back to sleep," he declared lazily, completely oblivious to the sparks his words set off through a system that should have been satiated. At least for the night.

  "That's not what I meant," I admitted, voice small.

  "What'd you mean?"

  "Just... in general. What are we supposed to do now?"

  "Fuck if I know," he admitted. And, well, his admission of cluelessness somehow managed to comfort me. "But I think we'll be doing a lot of fucking. Maybe getting out of this apartment a bit. Doing shit in the world. Maybe you can come and re-meet some of my brothers eventually. And their women who will be banging down your door in about a week, I am told, if you do not show up and meet them for yourself. And I mean that literally. They will run a check, find out your address, and fucking show up here."

  So, it seemed, we just... fell into a swing of things. Into a, dare I even think it, relationship.

  My heart, the silly, unpracticed, hopeful little thing it was, swelled at the idea of getting more of this man. Of getting everything.

  "We could go to the clubhouse tomorrow instead of here," I suggested, not wanting him to know about my heart and its premature yearnings. "I'm off actually. So... we can go whenever."

  "Sounds like a plan. So can I sleep now? I need a good three or four hours if you want me on top. Less if you're willing to ride," he added, giving my belly a squeeze.

  I felt it in my chest too.

  It was there.

  In my bed.

  With Ty behind me, falling easily asleep, that I realized I was in too deep. Deeper than I should have been.

  "Bitch, you would lose a single minute of being close to that fine ass naked man?" Thad asked an hour later as I sat on the kitchen counter in my panties and Ty's shirt, cradling a cup of tea in my hands. "Is that peppermint?" he asked, sniffing my cup. "Your stomach bothering you?"

  "I have feelings for him," I admitted.

  "And that is making you sick to your stomach?" he asked, brow raising.

  "It's too soon to have feelings."

  "It's maybe too soon to want to marry him and give him a litter of babies. But it's never too soon for feelings, boo. I got feelings for that fine ass man at the post office. He could handle my package any-fucking-time."

  I snorted at that, taking a sip of peppermint that I hated, but drank whenever my belly felt wobbly. And wobbly was what it felt right about then.

  "I meant real feelings, Thad. Like heart fluttery feelings."

  "Fred, if your heart ain't fluttering, he wouldn't be worth spending time with at all, right? The heart flutter is what you want at this stage. Down the road is when you can admire his ability to piss in the bowl or scrape your windshield in the winter. Right now, it's about the flutter. Down the road is when you start to see a note about being out of TP as a sign of love since he doesn't want you wiping your ass with a coffee filter. That is down-the-road love. Flutters, flutters is fine right now."

  "I've known him less than two weeks."

  "Did you declare your undying love to him when he rang the bell?"

  "What? No."

  "Then cut the shit, boo. This is not a big deal. Feel what you feel. No one can tell you it is too soon to feel how you feel if it is how you feel. But don't be talking about how you feel for a bit. That's my advice to you. And, honey child, I have a lot more experience with the menfolk than you. So you can trust me. Pour that shit down the drain. You need a glass of wine to make you sleepy," he decided, reaching for the glasses.

  So I had wine, got sleepy, and went back to bed only to be woken up two hours later.

  But I sure wasn't complaining.

  Nor was I complaining when he woke me up early with a cup of coffee made the right way and yet another orgasm.

  "You can't still be come-drunk, baby girl. Get up. You got nothing in the house."

  "There is plenty in the house," I objected. "The veggie drawers are full. There's fruit on the counter."

  "Babe, you're making my point. There's nothing in the house. Let's get lunch. Then head over to the clubhouse. You want me to pack some shit for you?"

  "If I let you pack for me, there would be no bra or panties," I objected, begrudgingly sliding my legs off the side of the bed.

  "Yeah, well, it's stupid to pack shit you won't need," he agreed, eyes dancing.

  "You want me walking around the clubhouse around your buddies without a bra on?" I shot back, watching as the dancing stopped.

  "Alright. Bra. But there is no need for panties," he insisted. "Just more layers to peel off."

  "I don't mind the peeling," I told him, getting to my feet, grabbing the oversized hobo bag Thad had picked up for me, tossing some clothes inside of it, then going into the bathroom to shower, throw necessary toiletries in it as well, then coming back out to find Ty dressed and ready to go.

  We went to lunch, talking about the new menu items Abby was considering. About the changes in the town in general. He gave me a rundown on the organizations and how they interconnected. He told me about the women in the girls club. Which, admittedly, filled me with a feeling of inadequacy. They all sounded like certified badasses who had all sorts of skills or training. And here I was. A short order cook. Ex-con. And... that was about it.

  "Got nothing to worry about," he told me, seeming to read my thoughts. "They didn't all start off as what they are now. And there are some who don't really have any skills or shit. Rey and Penny and Kennedy come to mind. Bethany. I mean, they all train now. But it's more of a bonding thing with them now. They don't go out and get their hair and nails done, sip mimosas at brunch. They head up to Hailstorm and try to beat the shit out of each other. Figure it might be why there is almost no in-fighting with them. Any hard feelings get worked out in a physical way. Keeps 'em all happy."

  "I wouldn't hate learning some self-defense," I admitted.

  It seemed smart, now that I really knew what kind of town I was living in. What threats were around every corner. It would be nice to know I had more than a puny pocketknife to protect myself with.

  "They'll be happy to teach you the ropes. You ready?"

  To meet a clubhouse full of stone cold sober bikers who all had to be curious about me?

  "Not at all," I admitted, sliding out of my booth. "But let's go."

  As I expected, Ty must have gotten word back to his friends - likely through Sugar - that he was bringing me over for the night. Because the place was packed whereas he told me it was generally just the single guys who hung around all the time now.

  And that list was short.

  Roan.

  Cam.

  And, I guess, West.

  I wasn't really sure if they counted him in anything yet until he was out of the prospecting phase.

  But he was there. So was Cam, sitting in the living room. West offered me a simple Hey pretty lady. Cam opened the lid of a box of donuts, silently - of course - offering me one.

  "No thanks. We just had breakfast. It's nice seeing you again, though.

  "Alright, who's ready to see the woman who made good old Don't-Give-A-Fuck Virgin give a fuc... shit," another voice trailed off, looking at me guiltily. I knew him from sight.

  Roderick.

  "I'd apologize, but it's the truth," he admitted, shrugging it off. "You came in here knowing you'd be facing all of us? Brave woman," he decid
ed, reaching for a donut for himself.

  "Alright, so you know Roderick, Cam, West. This is..." Ty started, motioning to a man who really needed no introduction.

  "Sugar," I cut him off, sending the man a genuine smile. "Ty told me a lot about the trouble you guys got into when you were younger."

  "Ty did, did Ty?" Sugar asked, shooting his friend a raised brow.

  I wasn't sure, but I figured maybe Ty giving me his real name, his government name, meant something.

  "Your name is Ty?" West asked, almost seeming amused by that fact.

  "What's your real name?" I shot back, defensive.

  "Apparently, we only give real names to the women we shack up with so they call us it when they come," he told me with a smirk. "So by you asking, I can only assume that Ty here hasn't been performing like you..."

  "Easy," Sugar called, making my head snap in his direction, finding him with a palm slammed into Ty's chest, holding him back.

  Yes, holding him back.

  The most calm, laid-back, didn't-give-a-fuck person I had met had his fists balled, chest puffed, jaw set to stone. Like he was planning on beating the hell out of West for just a comment.

  "Who isn't behaving?" yet another voice asked, coming out of the hallway. He was tall, thin, red-haired, tattooed. Attractive. With almost unsettlingly sharp eyes, like he could see right in under your skin. "Dad is here, we need to behave," he added, drawing my attention to the man following him out. Tall, dark, handsome, and a bit, well, terrifying. I didn't have to know to know that was the president. Reign. He carried himself like he owned the place. Because, well, he did.

  "The fuck you say now, West?" Reign asked in a sort of resigned father way, the tone he used on a particularly trying, rule-breaking child. "You didn't get enough from Lou earlier?"

  Lou.

  I rolled through the list of names I had been trying to remember.

  Lou wasn't a guy. It was Adler's woman. A bounty hunter.

  "I just asked her an innocent question," West insisted, but his lips were twitching.

  "You asked her if she liked it when someone used her own cuffs on her in bed," Renny corrected.

  "What did he do?" Reign asked, looking at me, then Ty. I was never so thankful for someone to look away from me before. I felt like a little girl facing up the principal. Even though I hadn't done anything wrong.

  "Ran his mouth," Ty told his boss.

  "Clearly. The fuck never had a mother wash it out with soap as a kid, and it shows. Look, I don't really give a fuck what happened, but you need to remember that you're a prospect, not a brother. You show respect. You bite your fuckin' tongue if what you are about to say insults the patched members. Or their women. Not only do they have a say in your future here, but I'm not protecting your ass from a beating if they get pissed off at you." With that, he turned his attention back to Ty. "Kinda interesting to see you riled up though," he said, shrugging it off. "I'm assuming if you got your girl here, you want off the patrol tonight?"

  "I'll cover for him," Sugar offered. "Peyton is going to a - and I quote - Pussy Pleasure Party. Whatever the fuck that is, I don't think I want to be involved. I'll hang back tonight."

  "Alright, sounds good. West, doesn't the bathroom need to be re-grouted?" Reign asked.

  "Which bathroom?" West asked, dread already in his tone, knowing the answer.

  And Reign, yeah, there was pure joy at hearing it.

  "You're gonna need a lot of fuckin' grout," he added, moving past him and out into the yard, chuckling a little to himself.

  "Don't think he likes me very much," West decided, but sounded completely unbothered by the fact.

  "Think he just likes taking you down a peg or two," Roderick supplied. "And, not for nothing, but you kind of need it."

  "What? Me? I'm pleasant as fuck. Right, Freddie?"

  "Sure. A real delight," I said, only half teasing. He actually did seem nice enough. He ran off at the mouth, didn't think things through, was a shameless flirt, but it all seemed in good humor. Even if maybe Lou and Ty didn't take it that way.

  "Yo, West," Sugar called when he went to walk away.

  "Yeah?"

  "What did Lou do to you?" he asked.

  "He got acquainted with those cuffs of hers," Renny supplied. "As she locked him to her wing mirror and made his ass run as she drove across town. He looked ready to drop by the time she got to the yard to unlock him."

  I was pretty sure Lou was going to be someone interesting to know.

  "Lost five pounds in sweat," West agreed, shaking his head.

  "He's a dick," Renny declared, but without malice.

  "So are you. Yet here you are," Roderick told him, smiling.

  "That's fair enough," Renny agreed. "So, what's your story?"

  "None of your business," Ty chimed in immediately.

  "It's not like they aren't going to find out if what you said about them running background checks is right."

  "It's right," Renny confirmed. "And we always like when someone has the balls to tell us up front."

  "I just got out of prison," I supplied, finding the words easier than they would have been just days before.

  "No shit?" Sugar asked, making it clear that Ty hadn't been talking about me, about us. I couldn't help but wonder if that was a good or bad thing. "How long?"

  "Ten years."

  "You were a baby," Roderick said, shaking his head.

  "Just turned eighteen."

  "What'd you go away for?" Renny probed. That was how it felt, too. Probing. Like an invasion.

  "None of your business," Ty declared. "That is for Reign to know if he wants to."

  "Alright," Renny agreed, holding up a hand, letting it drop.

  "So... we hear you cook," Roderick said.

  "She's not here to cook for us," Ty objected.

  "I don't mind. If I'm going to be here, the least I can do is cook dinner," I said, tone light, countering Ty's unusual severity.

  "See, she doesn't mind," Roderick said with a victorious smile.

  "Come on, let's go put your bag down," Ty said suddenly, reaching down to grab my hand, pulling me with him down the hall.

  "What's the matter?" I asked once we were out of earshot.

  "They're grilling you," he grumbled, pushing open a door, pulling me inside.

  "So? I kind of knew that was how it was going to be. They're curious."

  "You don't owe them answers about your past."

  Why?

  Because this was temporary?

  If he planned to keep me around in the long term, his friends would all know about my past, right?

  "What's this?" Ty asked, moving closer, pressing a finger between my brows where two lines had to have been formed.

  "Not..."

  "Nope. We're not doing that. Straight answers. That's what we've done so far. Think it's a good system."

  "If I am going to be... sticking around for a while, wouldn't they all figure it out eventually?"

  "Yeah," he agreed, nodding. "But on your terms. And after you've talked to Reign. The guys - especially Renny who likes to dig too deep into everything - will take that information and twist it before it got to Reign."

  And Reign was hard about drugs.

  I guess that made sense.

  Jumping to conclusions was only going to create undue stress.

  "Still didn't explain the frowning," he told me, head ducking low, forcing me to keep eye contact.

  "It's nothing. I just... wondered if you didn't want me to tell them because you didn't plan on me being around long enough to."

  He was silent for a minute, considering. "Tell you what. If you start wondering about something, ask. Seen too many people get into stupid ass fights over something that could have easily been worked out if they talked about it. I'd prefer not to be those assholes."

  I liked that.

  He was right.

  Fights because people refused to have an adult conversation were ridiculous, unnecessary.
r />   "Speaking of fights," I said, smiling a little. "Were you really planning on getting into one with West?"

  "No." My heart sank a little at that, realizing some primitive, cavewoman part of me had thrilled at the idea of him fighting for me. As base as that might have been. "I was going to knock his ass out. There wouldn't have been any fighting," he added with a smirk, like he knew I would like that.

  "You don't need to get into fights over my honor. I can handle myself."

  "Sure. But I don't mind handling shit too. These are my people. They need to show you respect. I will make sure of that. Well, except the women. Can't make them do shit. You're on your own with them," he added with a head shake.

  "I'm kind of excited to meet them," I admitted. "Especially after the handcuff story."

  "Just... don't say I didn't warn you," he said ominously, leaving me to wonder what he meant.

  About a week to the day later, I would find out.

  And he did, indeed, warn me.

  But nothing could have prepared me.

  Nothing.

  For a woman with mermaid hair and tattoos.

  Named Peyton.

  ELEVEN

  Freddie

  There was a quiet knock on Ty's door at the clubhouse, making my head turn in that direction.

  The men were all loud stomps and door slams and raucous laughter.

  No way was one of them knocking that softly.

  So I guessed it was time.

  I was going to finally meet the notorious girls club.

  I wasn't entirely sure what had kept them all away up to this point.

  Maybe Ty had a conversation with his brothers, asking them to keep them away until I settled in more. Which, admittedly, sounded a lot like him. He had this compulsion to try to shield me, like I was so pure, like I hadn't seen a lot of the rougher sides of life. Maybe I should have told him that it was fine, I could handle it, he didn't have to worry about me. But, quite frankly, I liked it. I liked his need to take care of me, to kind of cocoon me in safety. Maybe that all stemmed from what happened with Tanner, the betrayal, the distrust. It was new, refreshing, sweet to find someone so completely on the other end of the spectrum.