Crazy For You (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 8)

by J. H. Croix

Violet slowly set her phone down and stared out over the view. It was early evening with the sun slowly dipping down the sky, subtle streaks of pink illuminating the jagged mountain peaks in the distance. Boats were coming into the harbor, crowding the area of the bay outside Otter Cove Harbor. She wondered how Sawyer was doing. He should’ve had his surgery today. She’d recalled that this morning on her way to work.

  She swung away from the windows and walked to the refrigerator, opening it to stare inside. With few choices for dinner, she grabbed her purse and phone on the way out to the grocery store. She needed something to eat and something to do. She didn’t like thinking about Sawyer because she didn’t know what to do about him. She wished she didn’t like him so damn much. A fun fling wouldn’t be a bad thing for her. It might even be a good thing, but she didn’t think she could trick herself into thinking anything with Sawyer was just a fling.

  Chapter 10

  Sawyer leaned back into the sofa in Gage and Marley’s living room and carefully eased his leg onto the ottoman Marley had set in front of him. Once he was settled, he looked out the windows and shook his head. It was hard to believe they looked at this every day. They lived in private quarters above the lodge restaurant. He remembered visiting his grandparents here many, many years ago before the lodge closed up. Gage and Marley had renovated this area, just as they had the rest of the lodge. The bones of the space were the same with an expansive living room and kitchen with a wall of windows that looked out over the mountains behind the lodge. Kachemak Bay was visible to the far edge of the view. At the moment, the ski slopes were grassy and green, although people still dotted the area with hikers and bikers using the area. Gage had wisely created a series of interconnected trails for use outside of ski season. He’d also established business relationships with a few local businesses for chartered fishing and flightseeing, which meant the lodge stayed busy year-round.

  “Anything to drink?” Marley called from the kitchen.

  “I’ll take whatever you have,” he replied.

  The door opened, and he glanced over his shoulder to see Gage walking in with Sawyer’s favorite niece, Holly, at his side. Gage’s hand dwarfed Holly’s where he held it. She immediately let go and ran toward the couch. “Saw!” she said with a giggle. At one and a half years old, Holly’s limited vocabulary was expanding by leaps and bounds, but she’d called Sawyer ‘Saw’ ever since she could talk at all. He hoped she never stopped because he loved it.

  “Hey Holly-girl!” he called out as she ran over to him. With her auburn hair getting darker and her bright green eyes, she was a ringer for her mother.

  Gage caught up to her in two swift strides and hooked his hand in the hood of her sweatshirt. She came to a jolting stop and turned to glare at him. Gage was unperturbed by his toddler’s annoyance. “Remember, Uncle Saw is getting better. No jumping on him. Got it?”

  Holly looked back at Sawyer and then to her father again before nodding vigorously. “No jumping,” she agreed.

  As soon as Gage released her hood, Holly walked at a slower, wobbly pace. Her grin was infectious. She started to climb onto the couch beside him, but slipped, so he held his hand out and gave her a tug. She settled beside him and patted his arm. “Saw,” she said affectionately.

  Marley stepped around the island in the kitchen, which served as a divider between the kitchen and living room, and stopped beside Gage. He dipped his head and dropped a kiss on her neck, saying something so softly Sawyer couldn’t hear it. He didn’t doubt it was an endearment. Gage was ridiculously in love with Marley. When Sawyer first heard about it, he’d been skeptical. Gage had generally not taken the time to worry about relationships. Sawyer had to eat crow and admit he’d been flat wrong to doubt any of it. Marley was about the best thing to happen to Gage after he left his career as a Navy SEAL behind him.

  Sawyer couldn’t help but wonder if something similar was possible for him. Violet immediately came to mind, and he wondered again what lay behind her mixed responses to him. Before he had a chance to dwell, Marley walked to the sofa and ran her hand through Holly’s soft hair. “Hey sweetie, did you have fun at G’s?” she asked.

  ‘G’ was Garrett. Gage had taken Holly with him on a few errands and left her at Garrett’s office for a little bit. Holly nodded enthusiastically. “Uh huh.”

  Marley grinned and looked up at Sawyer. “So, what’ll it be? Water, coffee, juice?”

  Gage hung his jacket on the hooks by the door and kicked off his boots before walking to the sectional couch and plunking down at an angle from Sawyer. “I say beer. It’s…” he glanced at his watch. “…after five. Wait, are you allowed to drink beer?” he asked, looking to Sawyer.

  “Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “I don’t know. Because of your painkillers or something.”

  “Not taking any. I hate those damn things. They make me feel all out of it. I used them for the first two days after the surgery and that’s it. Ibuprofen is good enough. Honestly, aside from the soreness, the pain is actually better than it was before the surgery. Those bits of shrapnel were damn painful.”

  Gage cracked a grin. “Damn glad to hear it. Well, if you’re up for a beer, I am.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Gage glanced up to Marley who’d started to walk back toward the kitchen. “Need me to get it, babe? You don’t have to wait on us.”

  Marley laughed and shook her head. “I’ve got it. It’s not waiting on you if you do it for me as much as I do you. Plus, let me fuss over Sawyer a little. He could use it.”

  Gage threw his head back with a laugh. “That’s what I told him. Speaking of that, how’s Violet?” he asked with a sly look at Sawyer.

  Holly clambered off the couch and made a beeline for her toy basket over by the windows. Sawyer watched her when he replied, trying to keep his tone casual. “I wouldn’t know. She canceled on me last time.”

  “What about the other night? I’m no expert but she sure seemed into you from what I could tell.”

  Sawyer looked to Gage just as Marley arrived with two beers in hand. Handing them off to each of them, she sat down beside Gage. “Agreed. I don’t know Violet all that well, but chemistry is hard to ignore. You two certainly have it,” Marley said with a grin.

  Sawyer shrugged. “Maybe so, but she took off as soon as you guys left. Haven’t heard from her since.”

  Marley looked genuinely confused. “Really?”

  Sawyer nodded. “Really.”

  Marley pursed her lips and stared at him, long enough it made Sawyer want to squirm a little.

  “What?” he finally asked.

  Marley shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m wondering what you want. If you ask me, it sounds like she’s spooked. Which makes sense if she’s really into you, but trying to be realistic about the fact you don’t even live here. I mean, I’m not saying you two are destined for happily-ever-after and all that, but I know if I hadn’t been sure of where Gage meant to stay, I probably would’ve steered clear. It’s not exactly fun to fall for someone and try to be prepared for them to leave. Maybe she’s not up for a fling? Because that’s how she’d have to think of it not knowing how long you’ll be around.”

  Sawyer absorbed Marley’s words and knew she was spot on. Problem was, he didn’t know what he was doing either. He was relieved to have his surgery over, yet now the path to a decision had a timetable.

  “Where you at with what’s next anyway?” Gage asked presciently.

  Most of the time, Sawyer loved his family. He knew he was blessed to have a family that cared enough to be nosy. Yet, sometimes it was annoying. Particularly when he didn’t know what the hell to do. His career had been one of clear decisions. He’d known before he graduated from high school that he planned to go into the Navy. He’d done exactly that and gotten his college degree while he was at it. Once that was done, he kept moving through the steps to become a Navy SEAL, driven by clear thinking and confidence in his abilities. Years as a Navy SEAL had
only reinforced all of that.

  He glanced to his leg, which really was feeling better. Those bits of shrapnel that had been causing the chronic pain in his knee and leg were gone with nothing but lingering soreness from the surgical incisions left behind. The surgeon had been bluntly honest after the surgery, telling him he needed to be prepared for his knee to never quite make it back to where it had once been. Not because of the shrapnel, but due to the fractured femur that had already been operated on. As for function, that meant he’d be lagging in the speed and reflexes he needed to be on active duty as a SEAL, which meant if he didn’t choose to make a formal career change, he’d be doing admin duty. He was pretty sure he’d hate that. Hence, it was decision time.

  He looked back at Gage and shrugged. “Dunno. Still trying to sort it out.”

  Gage’s hand was resting behind Marley’s shoulders, and he idly sifted his fingers through her hair. Oddly, that small gesture, which Sawyer doubted Gage was even thinking about, hit Sawyer hard. Blazing hot attraction to Violet aside, he wouldn’t mind having that kind of comfort and intimacy with someone.

  “What are you chances to go back to active duty?” Gage asked, his eyes sharp and serious.

  “Not good. I have to pretty much decide if I want to suck it up and do admin duty.”

  “Don’t man. It’s akin to watching paint dry. Thought I was gonna lose my mind. Take your medical retirement and stay here.”

  Sawyer hated admitting it, but he didn’t like the term medical retirement. It made him feel old and useless. He knew perfectly well he wasn’t. He was still in peak condition. All he had was a single knee that affected the elite skill set he needed to be on active duty, but still.

  Demonstrating his mind-reading abilities, Gage said, “Don’t be stupid and think it means anything else. You’ve put in ten years there. You’ve done more for your country than most will ever even consider. Not much higher for you to go in your career.”

  Sawyer took a breath and let it out slowly, chuckling when he noticed Holly’s expression when the blocks she’d been stacking tumbled over. She glared at them as if they’d personally hurt her and then promptly got back to work. He looked back to Gage. “I know. Just have to get used to the idea.”

  “While you’re getting used to it, how about you find Violet and make sure she knows you won’t be running off?” Gage asked with a wink.

  Sawyer took a pull from his beer and rolled his eyes, feigning casual even if he knew damn well his feelings for Violet ran deeper. His family’s nosiness annoyed him just enough he didn’t feel like playing along. “You act like it’s a done deal me staying here.”

  Marley grinned. “I’m willing to bet on it.”

  Chapter 11

  Violet watched as a baseball came flying at Ginger. With a resounding crack, Ginger connected the bat with the ball and took off running. Garrett ran to snag the ball when it thumped to the ground behind him at third base. In a flash, he sent it flying to Nick at second base who caught it just before Ginger reached the base. She skidded to a stop and gave Nick a high-five before returning to first base. At nine years old, Nick was quite the player, at least as far as Violet could tell. She was watching her new team, the Diamond Creek Batters, practice. Ginger had tried to insist Violet play today, but after Violet explained she didn’t even know the rules of baseball, Ginger acceded and agreed perhaps watching a few practices might be wise.

  Violet was sitting in the dugout due to a vicious wind this afternoon. The sky was bright blue with the sun high. She’d learned in her short time in Alaska that clear skies often meant windy days. Even in the sheltered area of the dugout, she shivered when a gust blasted through sideways. She tugged her jacket closer together and watched when Gage stepped up to bat. As she’d have expected, Gage sent the ball sailing far out of reach.

  Nick, being the hustler he was, took off running. Garrett called out,” Hey buddy, don’t waste your time.”

  Violet jumped when a voice came from her side. “That’s Garrett, always efficient.”

  She glanced up to see Sawyer ducking under the side of the dugout. He sat down on the bench beside her, not too close and not too far. Just close enough to make her wish two things at once. She wanted him to be closer, so she could savor the electricity that hummed to life whenever he was near. She also wanted him to move further away, far enough that she could feel in control of her body. She gave herself a mental shake. Act normal. Sawyer’s just a man. Oh, really? Not many men, none to be exact, get you so hot and bothered you keep dreaming about them.

  Another mental shake and Violet forced herself to focus on the moment. What the hell had Sawyer just said? Oh right. Something about Garrett. “What do you mean?” she asked because she didn’t actually recall what he’d said.

  “Garrett’s the master of efficiency. He won’t chase that ball because it’d be a waste of time. No matter how fast Nick runs, the distance to reach the ball and get back to second base is farther than the distance Gage needs to run to reach home,” Sawyer said just as Gage reached home base. Then Sawyer smiled, his dreamy gray eyes locking onto hers.

  Her breath caught and her pulse went wild. Oh dear God. She had to get a grip on her body somehow. Her body immediately proved she had no choice. Butterflies danced in her belly and heat suffused her. She swallowed and tried to take a breath, but only managed a shallow one. Fine. She’d at least try to carry on a normal conversation.

  “I wouldn’t have even thought to gauge the distance.” She paused, suddenly recalling he’d had surgery since she last saw him. “How’d the surgery go?” She hadn’t been paying close attention when he stepped into the dugout, so she didn’t even know if he had a limp.

  “Great. No complications,” he said with a firm nod.

  “I never asked what the surgery was for. I knew it was for your knee, but that’s it.”

  “Got too close for comfort to an IED in Iraq. They did emergency surgery in the field, but they missed a few bits of shrapnel. I had to wait until they got the cast off from my fractured femur. They cleared me for this follow up surgery last month.”

  She knew he was a Navy SEAL and knew what that meant, but somehow hearing him speak so matter-of-factly about his injury hit her hard. She looked to him and felt tears welling. His eyes widened slightly, and he slid closer to her. “Hey, I’m fine. Seriously. Better than I’ve been in months.”

  She swallowed against the tightness in her throat and nodded. “Sorry. It’s just weird to think about what you do. I’m glad you’re okay.” She managed another breath and felt the threat of tears ease.

  Sawyer nodded somberly. “Right. Guess it sounds heavy sometimes, and it is.” There was a long pause and then he shrugged. “Won’t be running up against any more IED’s though. I’ll be taking my medical retirement and staying here.”

  She smiled, a rush of joy rolling through her. She shouldn’t be so damn happy about this because no matter how much she wanted Sawyer, she needed to keep things casual. There were too many complications any other way she looked at it. At the moment, she didn’t think about any of that and just beamed at him. “Really?”

  He nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah. I’ve been tossing it around for months and finally decided if I was dreading admin duty that much, I’d best take matters into my own hands. Ten years in the SEAL’s is plenty. I loved every minute of it. Even when things didn’t go right…”

  “Like with the IED?”

  “Even then. Everything we did meant something and that’s not always easy to find. But it’s time for a change. I love my family and most of ‘em are here now. Gage has all kinds of plans for the lodge. I might do more than that, but it’s a place to start.”

  He was watching her, and she sensed he was trying to climb right inside her brain. She almost laughed aloud because if he could see inside her mind, he’d probably think she was crazy. With sheer force of will, she kept her mind on the actual conversation. “Wow. That’s a big decision.�
�

  He shrugged. “Yes and no. In the military, either you decide to stay for good, or not. Ten years is good for me. Took me a bit to make up my mind. Probably because I’d rather have walked out instead of limped out,” he offered with a grin.

  “You won’t be limping for long,” she said with an encouraging smile.

  His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled again. “Nah. Told Garrett I’d run with him in some Mount Marathon race around here. No idea what he’s talking about, but give me a few months and I’ll be ready.”

  A vicious gist of wind blew sideways through the dugout. When Violet unconsciously shivered, Sawyer slipped his arm over her shoulders. “Damn cold for a summer day,” he commented.

  She couldn’t help but love having him close. She could feel the corded muscles of his arm through her windbreaker, and he was like her personal furnace. In seconds, the wind didn’t feel so cold. Oh hell. She’d be happy to sit here all day now. The part of her that was resisting her wild, uncontrollable attraction to Sawyer was weary. She didn’t feel like fighting with herself right now. She’d tensed up when he put his arm around her, but she relaxed against his side after a moment.

  Casting about for something to say, she stared out over the baseball field. Delia was up to bat now with Nick pitching to her. From Violet’s vast experience of watching the team practice, she’d discovered they casually rotated which players covered what position. Nick seemed to be pretty good at pitching from what she could gather. He threw two strikes, but Delia connected with the third pitch and sent the ball sailing into the outfield.

  “Damn good hit,” Sawyer said.

  She glanced up. “Seeing as I’ve had basically zero experience, I’ve got no comparison. Are they pretty good?”

  “Oh yeah. Gage and I played baseball all through school. Garrett’s got the speed, and he’s a damn good batter. Everyone else is pretty darn good. You seriously planning on playing?”