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The Shift: Scenes from the Year Humanity Lost Sex

Page 7

by Zoe S. Figueroa


  “We went from a study about identity vs. natural inclination to one about how attraction has changed in the year,” says Rathwa.

  In nearly all cases, subjects responded the same to material they had already been shown. For example, gay PSMs responded to pictures of PSMs as did straight PSFs. However, nearly all the subjects reacted to Post-Shift humans.

  “Some people have wondered if sexual attraction since The Shift has simply been a matter of desperation and lack of options, but our study suggests that our brains have been rewired to accept our new forms as attractive,” Rathwa claims.

  The rewiring did not seem to be retroactive either. People who were not attracted to women before this year distinguished between PSFs before transformation and after. Even when the same model was used heterosexual PSFs and homosexual PSMs preferred the Post-Shift image.

  Variations in attraction seemed to correspond to previous orientation only weakly. While a slight majority of straight PSFs still reacted more strongly to images of taller people with more musculature and body hair, many were more interested in those with traditionally feminine physiques and features.

  Interestingly, this preference for more masculine or feminine images did not correspond to whether the person in the image was presenting or not. Subjects who leaned toward feminine images did so whether the model was shown with a penis or without.

  Bisexual subjects were just as varied in their preferences and range of attraction as before the Shift, though the study did notice a sizable minority broadened their preferences. Some bisexual people who leaned toward masculine partners before The Shift came to exhibit more attraction towards people with wider hips and larger breasts.

  The researchers point out that in the haste to reacquire all the subjects from the initial round of testing they did not control for the cycle of the participants. The researchers suggest that subsequent studies might look into how people’s attraction changes based on whether they themselves are presenting.

  Bishop’s Office

  Louisville 1st Ward

  Louisville, KY

  Sunday March 18, 76 days after

  “Come in Sister Parker, have a seat.”

  “Thank you, Bishop Ritter.”

  She sat down on the scratchy upholstery of the chair opposite Ritter's desk.

  “I hear great things from the parents of your Sunday School group. All the 11-year-old Valiants are quite taken with you.”

  “Thank you. They’re a great group of girls; it’s a been an honor teaching them.”

  “How are things going at the, what would you call it, beautician school?”

  “Cosmetology school. It’s going quite well, thank you. I definitely chose the right time to get into the business.”

  “You certainly did,” he said and sat down in his armchair. He ran his fingers through his hair. “I never thought I’d have to get mine cut again. You wouldn’t happen to offer discounted haircuts to old men who got used to being bald, would you?”

  “We’d love to have you in for an appointment. I hope you’re not planning on getting rid of all that beautiful hair though.”

  “Oh no, no,” he chuckled, “Just maybe get it back to how it looked in my younger days.”

  “Of course. I’ll make sure to give you to the school’s number before I leave.”

  Bishop Ritter clasped his hands together and set them on his desk.

  “So, what can I help you with, sister?”

  “I’d like to apply to be accepted into the priesthood.”

  The smile dropped from his face. He set his palms down on the desk. Sister Parker’s gaze didn’t flinch. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his forehead with the back of his thumb.

  “Well, they said this might happen today. I thought it might stay confined to the coasts and Utah, but I guess not.”

  He stopped there, not even offering the courtesy of a follow-up question. His chair swiveled from side to side. Sister Parker cleared her throat and continued.

  “Bishop, I’ve been a faithful, tithe-paying member for years, and I think I qualify as a candidate f-”

  “Goodness Bridget, is this really what you came here to talk about?” he interrupted, “Wouldn’t you rather talk about something else? Have you thought about transferring to the singles ward anytime soon? I know you’re still living with your parents, but you’re 19 now and I’m sure you’d like to meet a nice young man.”

  “Is that what you’ll think I’ll find there?”

  Bishop Ritter’s jaw tightened. Sister Parker’s broke eye contact. She admonished herself for straying from her script.

  “Sister Parker, I would hope you’d have more charity for all the men affected by the current situation.”

  “Of course, Bishop Ritter, I’m sorry. It’s just that I, uh,” she grasped for the thread she’d lost hold of, “The scriptures tell us that both man and woman-”

  “Were created in God’s image and we now have reached the fullness of that doctrine,” Bishop Ritter finished. “They sent the whole spiel you’re supposed to use when they sent out the notice. I don’t know why your organizers just put everything out there on the internet for everyone to see.”

  “We weren’t trying to hide anything. We think our position is morally and scripturally sound.”

  “I’m sure.”

  The bishop shifted piece of paper back and forth with the pad of his ring finger. Once again it was up to Bridget to move the conversation forward.

  “Well, do you accept my request or not?” she asked.

  “What request?”

  She suppressed a sigh.

  “Will you accept my request to be admitted into the priesthood.”

  “Sister Parker, I simply can’t do that” Bishop Ritter said and sat up straighter, “The holy priesthood has since the time of Aaron – since the time of Melchizedek – been entrusted to the male members of God’s covenant. Women can partake in the blessings of the priesthood, and can even call upon the powers of their husbands, but even the apostles do not hold the keys necessary to confer priesthood upon women.”

  “And what makes me a woman and not you?”

  Ritter pinched the corner of the paper and formed a tight crease.

  “The general authorities are still awaiting revelation on that subject. In the meantime, they’ve adopted a guideline we’re using for the time being.”

  “And what’s that?”

  Ritter formed another crease in the paper and inhaled.

  “The Brethren are currently defining women as people who have…” he exhaled, “experienced menses.”

  Sister Parker didn’t change her expression.

  “And?”

  “And I assume that…”

  It was now Sister Parker’s turn to neglect the conversation.

  “I assume that you have experienced menses, Sister Parker,” he said.

  “I have. Have you, Bishop?”

  “No, I haven’t, thank goodness. I’d be too old for that even if people still did. But I can tell you that none of the Elders in the Elders Quorum have in these last four months.”

  “Well I haven’t had a period these last four months either,” she said, “No one has. No one’s a woman anymore by that definition.”

  “Recall I said ‘experienced.’ The men and boys who currently hold the priesthood meet that criteria.”

  “Then what about my Valiants? Are you going to ask Ginny when she turns 12 next month if she’s had a period? Is her answer going to determine if she gets the priesthood?”

  “Like I said, it’s a temporary guideline. There’s a moratorium on ordaining 12-year-olds as deacons at the moment.”

  “And then what happens?” she demanded.

  “And then we accept whatever new revelation Heavenly Father has revealed to us.”

  “Forgive me if that doesn’t fill me with confidence.”

  As soon as she said it she knew she had blown it. Bishop Ritter almost smiled.

  “Sister
Ritter, one of the qualifications for acceptance into the priesthood a belief in the teachings of the church. That includes revelations by the current prophet. Are you saying you will not accept whatever the First Presidency says is God’s will?”

  “I, uh, if…” she wracked her brain for an answer with equanimity. “If I think the revelation is fair and grounded in-”

  “I’m afraid that’s not an acceptable answer. I can’t accept someone into the priesthood if they don’t believe in the precepts of the church.”

  “Well, what about you?” she said. There was no turning back now. “Do you believe male and female is an innate aspect of the soul before life and after death?”

  “I do,” Bishop Ritter said. It cost him nothing to say that.

  “Then what about babies born these last three months? What about, what about any of this?”

  She nearly rose from her chair.

  “Sister Ritter, it sounds like you don’t believe that yourself. It sounds like you don’t think I believe either. So what exactly do you gain from becoming in a priest in a faith you don’t believe in?”

  “Whatever you have to gain.”

  They sat there for a moment longer.

  “I think this is something you ought to pray and ponder about. Unfortunately, I won’t be available to talk about this next Sunday, but if something’s still bothering you in two weeks we’ll talk some more about it, perhaps with your father here.”

  Her lips concealed what her teeth did next.

  “Thank you for your time, Bishop.”

  She stood up and removed a business card for her cosmetology school from her purse. She set it on the desk and stepped out the door without another word.

  He supposed he’d have to find another place to get his hair cut.

  Text Conversation

  Wednesday August 8, 219 days after

  Hey bitch its me Maxine

  I bet you thought you got away with it huh?

  11:53AM

  I’m sorry who’s this?

  11:59AM

  You don’t remember me???

  I guess that’s not surprising coming from a cheating pos like you

  12:01PM

  Look I don’t know who you are

  I’m muting this conversation

  12:03PM

  We hooked up two weeks ago

  At the party

  12:04PM

  How did you get this number?

  12:04PM

  Ha now I got ur attention

  I did some googling and called in a favor

  12:05PM

  What do you want

  12:05PM

  I want you to pay for the new bra and pump I had to buy because of your sorry ass

  12:06PM

  OK now I’m really muting this conversation

  12:06PM

  So you can go back to pretending to take care of the kid who’s dad you’re cheating on?

  12:06PM

  How the fuck do you know about my girl??

  You stay the fuck away from my child!!!

  12:07PM

  Calm down I’m not going to do anything

  You’ll probably screw her up enough anyway

  I just want you to pay for these huge leaky tits you stuck me with

  12:08PM

  What the hell do you mean?

  12:08PM

  I’m lactating because of you

  12:08PM

  Are you on drugs

  12:09PM

  No your fucking cum did this to me

  I looked it up

  Ppl who just gave birth have hormones in it

  A week after we had sex my boobs grew and milk was coming out

  I had to get a whole new bra

  And a pump

  12:10PM

  I’ve never heard of this

  12:11PM

  Yeah me neither until I started leaking at work

  12:11PM

  But I wore a condom

  Oh shit

  Are you pregnant?

  12:12PM

  No thank god

  I don’t want a kid with a cheating whore like you

  12:12PM

  I didn’t fucking cheat with you

  12:13PM

  Oh so you got knocked up by some deadbeat who left you?

  12:13PM

  No my husband died you asshole

  12:13PM

  OK that shut you up

  Are you going to leave me alone now?

  12:16PM

  Shit Holly I’m sorry

  When did it happen?

  12:17PM

  9 months ago

  Before the birth

  It was an accident

  A fall

  Shit I don’t know why I’m telling you this

  12:18PM

  I’m sorry

  Do you want help with the kid or something

  12:18PM

  No!

  God

  This is exactly why I wanted it to be casual

  I’m sick of people feeling sorry for me

  I just wanted to have some fun for once

  And not introduce myself as a widow with a baby

  12:20PM

  Sorry

  I’ll stop texting

  12:20PM

  No hold on

  Maybe I should pay for that stuff

  This would be the guy’s responsibility before right

  If the condom broke

  God I hate using condoms

  I can’t tell if there on right

  12:22PM

  Yeah I’m still getting used to them

  Seriously though you don’t need to help

  12:23PM

  Are you sure

  12:23PM

  Yeah

  The websites say it’ll go down in a month

  Sorry again

  Good luck with ur kid

  12:24PM

  Thanks

  12:25PM

  HR Department

  Braxton Pharmaceuticals

  Greensboro, NC

  Thursday June 8, 158 days after

  Hannah opened the door of the conference room to find Farid and Rebecca. They’d chosen one of the smaller rooms without any windows.

  “You got my email?” Rebecca asked.

  “Yeah,” Hanna responded, “I always knew Olmstead would the death of this company.”

  “I know it’s bad, but I don’t think we’re at an extinction level event,” Farid said.

  “Well I’m glad you’re confident we’re all going to have jobs in a month,” Rebecca said.

  “So, what are the specifics?” Hannah asked Rebecca as she took a seat.

  “Olmstead was interviewing a candidate two days ago and kept asking questions trying to figure out their gender.”

  “Dammit Olmstead,” Farid said and wiped his face with his palm.

  “Then once he was satisfied that the candidate was a prism he made a crude remark he assumed they would sympathize with.”

  “I’m afraid to ask,” Hannah said, “But I assume the complaint has a quote.”

  “Indeed it does. According to the complainant Mr. Olmstead said quote: As if chicks didn’t have enough ways to fuck us now they’ve got dicks every month.”

  Neither of them had the energy to respond.

  “I’m going to go out on a limb and guess the candidate wasn’t a prism,” Farid said.

  “No, Ms. Nguyen is a recent graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill and alumna of the Alpha Delta Pi sorority.”

  “Then he’s thick as well as stupid,” Hannah said, “So we’re firing Olmstead?”

  “I’ve got a recommendation ready to send to the executive board after this meeting.”

  “And we’ve apologized to Ms. Nguyen?”

  “I’ve already drafted an apology letter which includes an offer for another interview in case she’s interested,” Rebecca said, “She won’t take it, but it’s what we do.”

  “Great, thanks Rebecca,” Hannah said.
/>   The three swiveled in their chairs for a spell.

  “So,” Farid said, “Should Ms. Nguyen bring charges what could we expect?”

  “Run of the mill sexual harassment, I’d say,” Rebecca answered.

  “Was it directed at the candidate though? I think it might be more in the realm of hostile work environment,” he said.

  “It’s unlikely that would be used for an interview environment,” Hannah said, “And any woman is going to take a comment like that as harassment. Even if he didn’t think she was woman.”

  “If we’re going to be as cynical as we can,” Rebecca said, “Do we have any case law that deals with gender discrimination since The Shift?”

  “No, and I don’t want to be a test case,” Hannah said, “Besides, even if gender identity isn’t a protected class in this state no judge is going to use that as an excuse for what happened.”

  “This is likely legal’s problem at this point anyway,” Farid said, “We just need to prevent stuff like this happening in the future. Any ideas?”

  “Well, what we’ve done so far isn’t working,” Hannah said, “We’re going to have to overhaul all the training and make sure everyone redoes it as soon as possible. Hopefully they’ll all be thankful enough that they’re still working that they won’t complain too much.”

  “I can start right away on the new wording,” Farid said, “What do you want me to include?”

  “Focus on avoiding assumptions,” Hannah said, “We want everyone to know that all the stuff they thought only applied to opposite-sex interactions applies to all interactions. I know it already says that but we really need to hammer that in.”

  “Comments that used to be commiserating now might count as unwelcome advances. Stuff like that?”

 

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