Your Heart Is Mine (Our Hearts Are Lost Book 1)

by Nicole Thorn

  I smiled, walking over to her with my hands behind my back. “We can order something and not have to worry about it.”

  She poked her head out of the fridge to glare, not even saying a word. She crawled halfway inside of my fridge, to the point where nothing but her bottom stuck out. “Oh my God! You just have a freaking chicken in here.” Her voice echoed as she yelled. “You could have told me.”

  “Sorry…”

  Lynnie whipped herself out of the fridge so fast that her curls fell in her face. She blew them out of the way indignantly. “You should be.” She sharpened her gaze. It would have looked more menacing if she hadn’t been holding a bag of raw chicken.

  I watched while she bustled around my kitchen, adding things to my counter. I had countertop with shelves underneath and above. The ingredients went on the top of the counter while the actual supplies went on the bottom level. I didn’t do anything except tell Lynnie where my meager cooking supplies had been put away. The girl impressed me to say the least. She knew how to prepare the chicken so that it would cook the right way, which I wouldn’t have been able to do without instructions. I’d been planning on looking up something online and hacking it to pieces.

  Lynnie seasoned the chicken without hesitation. She seemed to have confidence that she did well, and I believed it. The chicken went in the oven and I watched her mumble to herself about insane men who could live without a timer in his kitchen. She settled for the timer on the microwave.

  She started working on the side dishes next. It shocked me that she found so much to make a real dinner with, but I didn’t question a magical creature such as her. She started on the mashed potatoes, adding a bunch of little things that I didn’t know needed to be in there.

  Lynnie looked back at me with judging eyes. “I think you should come see what I’m doing. That way you can feed yourself once I’m gone.”

  Gone. Because this couldn’t be forever. She would be headed to college soon and happy about it. How many more months did I have with her?

  I went to her without hesitation.

  I stood behind her while she walked me through the steps on how to make perfect mashed potatoes. She cut the potatoes while she lectured me, and I loved how it all felt. It was a conversation about potatoes, and somehow it felt like so much more than that. Something domestic and comfortable. It all came so easy to her, this humanity thing. When called her an angel, I meant it. I saw divinity to every move she made. Grace and mercy and empathy and the ability to offer absolution with nothing more than a glance. Part of me wondered how I could even see something like that in a person. I lived on such a separate plane that goodness like hers shouldn’t register with me. But it did. She had been made just for me. To show me everything I did wrong, to show me the other side of the world. And this perfect little creature wanted me.

  Lynnie had taken to humming while she sliced the potatoes. I didn’t think she knew she even did it.

  It became too much for me, and I couldn’t find that line I’d decided not to cross.

  As gentle as the wind, I swept her curls away from one shoulder to the other. Her hands stilled on the cutting board for a moment before she started ignoring me again. She must have thought it had been an accident.

  I took another step closer to her, leaned down, and brushed my lips against the back of her shoulder. She couldn’t mistake that for an accident.

  Her breath hitched and I could barely see her eyelids dropping halfway. I smiled and gripped her hips tightly in my hands. She turned to me ever so slightly as I kissed the silky skin of her shoulder.

  She pushed back on me a little. Not to get me away from her, but so she could seal her body against mine. Once Lynnie had, she somehow knew how to move. She brushed against me, making every drop of blood in my head leave in a rush. My hold on her tightened as I pressed her against the counter, letting her feel the hard-on she had caused. The noise she made didn’t give any indication that she didn’t enjoy this. In fact, the harder I pressed into her, the shallower her breaths became.

  I spun her around, sealing her between me and the counter. She looked up at me with enormous and expectant green eyes. Like she couldn’t see a thing but me. I snagged her under the arms lifted her up and dropped her on the counter, next to the food and knives. Her legs opened for me before I grabbed hold of them and yanked her forward. She had already started panting and I so much left to do.

  I slid my hands up her sides, putting my lips on a freckle nestled between her shoulder and neck. I’d already shoved the strap of her dress over her shoulder and down her arm. Her back arched to me and she tilted her head, giving me permission to do whatever I wanted to her. She let out the softest gasp as my thumb brushed the hardened tip of her breast, teasing through the fabric.

  I wanted to go so much faster. To have her in my bed already. To connect with her in every way I could. I had to go slowly. I wanted to make everything an experience for her. Something to remember. God knew I would remember.

  My lips moved up the skin of her neck, across her jaw, and right under her ear. She let out a sigh when I slid my hand back down, grazing her breast again. It went to her bare leg, gliding up her outer thigh so I could feel all that skin against me.

  Her little hands moved too. They slid up my shirt and her fingernails scratched at me, lighting me up instantly. I couldn’t wait anymore.

  I pulled back and got a look at her face. She smiled weakly in anticipation. Her hands held my face gently, not making any move to further this moment. No. She wanted me to do it. To take control. I could do that for her.

  Her freckled nose touched my cheek as I started closing the distance between us. I listened to her breathing stop and watched her eyes close.

  The timer on the microwave beeped loudly, and Lynnie jumped. She put her hands around the edge of the counter, glaring over my shoulder. Then she looked back at me, leaving the decision in my hands. I could either ignore the beeping and take her, or walk away like nothing had happened.

  CHAPTER TWENTY:

  Stay with Me

  Rocelyn

  I watched Isaiah walk over to the microwave and hit the damn button that ruined my evening. Once the beeping stopped, he leaned against the counter a full seven feet from me. Really? He pressed himself against me fifteen seconds ago, but we’d pretend that none of that had happened? Of course we would.

  I hopped off the counter and went to check on dinner. I conspicuously fixed my dress and bra strap on my way over. I shut the oven off and went for the potholders before I pulled the chicken out. Cooked and seasoned to perfection.

  “It needs to rest,” I said, hardly putting anything into the words as I threw the potholders onto the counter.

  Isaiah started setting the table while I finished cooking. Blue kept me company while I did so. I wished that the new, awkward silence would go away. It felt so comfortable when we had been touching. It all went to hell in a moment. Are we that unstable?

  Isaiah helped me put all the food out, setting the drinks beside our places. When we sat down, he made an attempt to test the waters. “The food smells good.”

  I nodded once. “Thanks.”

  I carved the chicken for us. I served Isaiah before myself, of course. He started picking at it, distracted the whole time. I wondered if he thought about our moment with regret. If so, what did he regret? Touching me in the first place or backing away right before everything could become real.

  We ate the rest of the meal in complete silence. We caught each other taking glances once in a while, but neither of us said anything. Honestly, I considered dragging him off to the bedroom and ending all the confusion. I wanted him, and he knew it now. Neither of us had any more excuses.

  I finished eating first, and I brought the remaining chicken to the counter to wrap it up. I put together some scraps for Blue.

  I knelt beside his bowl, dropping it in. I whistled and called to him. “Come here, baby. I have something for you.”

  He came a runnin’,
almost slamming into me. He went right for the chicken and appeared to be in bliss. I noticed an empty water bowl, so I used the excuse to fill it up as a distraction. I placed it on the ground next to the puppy.

  A shadow caught my attention just before Isaiah’s feet came within my field of vision. My eyes flickered up to see Isaiah putting the rest of the dishes in the sink. He refused to look at me while he did it, using the leftovers as an excuse. Once we’d put everything away and fed the dog, we had nothing left to cover the awkwardness.

  I walked over to the couch, sat down, and crossed my legs. With nothing to occupy my attention, I ended up staring at the wall. How much longer could we go on like this?

  The spot beside me sank as Isaiah took it and finally spoke. “I should take you home soon.”

  I sighed and stared at him indignantly. “Isaiah, you are absolutely killing me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. Be something else.”

  “What am I supposed to be?”

  I stared at the ceiling. “How about you tell me what you want? Why am I here? Why am I so important to you that you spend all this time with me? And don’t say it’s because you have to. You chose to be the one who watched my house. That could have been anyone, but you wanted it to be you. Tell me what you want from me.”

  He took a beat too long to answer, and it made him seem like he fought too hard. “It’s my responsibility to take care of you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it is, Rocelyn,” he almost snapped. “I need to keep you safe.” He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. His hand went to my face, turning me to him. “You’re the only person in the world that I care about. Do you understand that? Because I don’t. I really don’t. I was alone, and I was fine. I saw you and that all ended in a split second. It’s terrifying and jarring. I was so damn sure about who I was before you showed up. I’m sorry that you’re caught in the middle of this storm, but I can’t undo it. I ruin things. It’s what I’m good at. If you had any sense, you’d call the station and have somebody else assigned to watch over you.”

  I shook my head and laughed at myself. “Sorry, you’re stuck with me now.”

  He dropped my face and sighed. “God, does nothing I say actually register with you? I don’t know what to do with you.”

  I smirked and my nose wrinkled. “I think you know exactly what to do with me.”

  Isaiah closed his eyes, taking a minute to shake that off. He stood and decided to take me home. We walked outside, and he called Blue over before we got in the car.

  “Lynnie,” he said in a voice that sounded strange and strained. “Close your eyes.”

  “What?” I stared. “Why?”

  “Do it,” he ordered me. “Don’t ask questions.”

  I closed my eyes, because the authority in his voice almost terrified me. Blue went wild on my lap, barking and shaking. I held him against me. “It’s okay. Calm down.”

  “It is not okay,” Isaiah corrected. I heard him put the car in park and open the door. He walked outside for only a minute before coming back to me. I heard him grab his walkie-talkie and start talking. He spoke in codes I didn’t understand, giving someone my address. He said the number 187 to the dispatcher. His voice sounded perfectly calm, but I could feel the tension in the car.

  Blue took to whimpering and Isaiah pet him. “We’re okay, Blue.”

  A shriek from what sounded like a woman cut off any comfort Blue got from his daddy. My eyes opened reflexively and I saw too quickly for Isaiah to shield me from it. He sighed.

  I stopped breathing when I spotted the body in my yard. I knew the face, but I didn’t want to admit it. That would mean it had been my fault. But I already knew it had been my fault. Clark died because of me. A couple of hours together had been enough to put him on the hit list.

  I got out of the car despite Isaiah’s orders. When he realized he couldn’t stop me, he grabbed Blue and started ordering the gathering crowd back. He had on his law enforcement voice and the people flinched at the power behind his words.

  The sight of the body left me with quiet fear. Fear and grief for what I’d caused. Clark had been bound to the streetlamp that rested in my front yard, tied around the legs, across the stomach and throat... His foggy eyes remained open and staring at the concrete below him. Even with almost no damage to his body, his cause of death seemed obvious. He still wore the clothes he had been murdered in. I knew because of the hole in his chest. The gruesome, frightening pit in the middle of his body revealed what had been taken from Clark.

  “Lynnie,” Isaiah said, turning me around. “Don’t look.”

  I was petrified, left only able to stare at Isaiah, wanting answers he couldn’t give me. I lifted my arms up, putting them around Isaiah and holding onto him until I couldn’t anymore.

  ****

  They came and took the body away. I sat on my couch, number and speaking with sheriff. Isaiah hadn’t left, because he wouldn’t leave even if someone asked him to. His body language toward the sheriff threw off hostility the way a lamp throws off light, and somehow the man didn’t notice.

  “It was only one date,” I finished explaining as we sat in my living room. “I haven’t talked to him since.”

  Sheriff Draper sighed. “But it was enough for our killer to target him and leave him in your yard.”

  I shrugged. “What do you want me to say? I don’t know why any of this is happening to me. I don’t know why I’m so damn interesting to him. Do I have a psycho magnet in my head or something?”

  The sheriff looked away uncomfortably and wrote down my statement. I wanted to be angry with him for not stopping any of this. How many more people had to die? “Maybe the guy has a thing for pretty little girls. You strut around in those little outfits and you’re gonna get some attention. I guess that’s the point, huh?”

  I glared at him. “Yeah, I live for attracting serial killers. I can only come if the guy in me has killed at least ten people.”

  The sheriff didn’t comment. What could he say? Isaiah didn’t seem to like the attitude either.

  A sick feeling formed in my stomach as I thought about my friends. They put themselves in danger and they wouldn’t listen to me. Did this happen because of them, or just because of me? Clark had been Bird’s friend long before I knew him. It might have been dumb to think this had all been about me and not about them. Could Clark have been a punishment for what they did?

  I didn’t share this with the sheriff. I could tell Isaiah later on if I thought I needed to. He would give the theory more respect than his boss would.

  “And why weren’t you home when this happened?” Sheriff Draper asked. “Where were you, Barker? You were supposed to be at her house.”

  I didn’t give Isaiah the chance to speak,. lying for him. “I had to go somewhere, and he didn’t want me to be alone. He was keeping me safe. Do you have a problem with that?”

  Draper glared at me. “What was so important that you needed to leave?”

  I smiled when I knew what to say to end this. “I needed tampons.” His face turned red, so I went on. “I woke up and there was this flood in my bed. You wouldn’t believe it. I shuffled off to my bathroom and wouldn’t ya know it, all out of tampons. Isaiah was nice enough to bring me to the store.”

  The sheriff stared at the floor while Isaiah tried not to laugh. He pet the puppy so he could hold it together.

  Draper cleared his throat. “I see. Well, I hope you’re… better.” His eyes traveled me and I really didn’t like it. Did he really feel uncomfortable, or did he think I had lied?

  I nodded. “Yes, this is something that can be cured.”

  The sheriff stood up with his notepad. “All right. Barker, keep a closer eye on the girl, please. I’m going to go and talk to the boy’s family, see if they know something about where he was today.”

  Isaiah set Blue on the floor, standing with him. “I know how to do my job,” he said, on the edge of angry. �
�She’s safer with me wherever she is. I’m watching her, not this house.”

  Draper took a look at me, and back to Isaiah. He nodded. “So you are.”

  He left my house, leaving Isaiah and me.

  It seemed like the body had been put in my yard not too long before I got there. In the middle of the day, he decided to do this. I couldn’t believe no one saw him. That bastard moved like a ghost.

  I shifted my focus to trying to call my parents. Anything that could distract me from all of this. It worked for about twenty minutes. Up until I stopped trying to get them on the phone. I guess they’d be hearing about this later.

  Isaiah pulled me over to him, tucking me against his chest. “How are you feeling?”

  I shrugged against him. “Guilty. Clark didn’t deserve to die just because he had the misfortune of knowing me. If someone I knew so little as him died, who else is on the list. What if he tries to hurt you?”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Lynnie. I’m as safe as I can be. I’m going to be right outside, keeping you safe.”

  I aimed my eyes at him, not giving him a fair chance. “Stay with me tonight.”

  His eyes closed as he sighed. “I can’t.”

  My hands moved up to his face, holding him. “Please. Stay with me. I need you.”

  Isaiah went quiet while he walked with me to my bedroom. He held my hand until we crossed the doorway and he moved to sit on the couch. “Not in your bed.”

  My heart jumped. “But you’ll stay in here?”

  He nodded. “I can stay on the couch. If you don’t think it’s creepy that I’m pretty much going to watch you sleep.”

  I smiled and ran over to hug him. My attack caught him off guard. I left it at a hug and a thank you before I went to change.

  Clark lingered in my head the whole time. It didn’t feel as bad before. I could handle a heart in my bathroom. Not this. I couldn’t deny anymore that someone had died so that a monster could screw with me. It felt like it would never end.

  I had to try and function, even with all this fear. So as usual, I tried to put on a happy face.