Your Heart Is Mine (Our Hearts Are Lost Book 1)

by Nicole Thorn

  I waited impatiently for her to come and find me, searching the crowd with my eyes. I couldn’t see her or my dog anywhere. I hoped she’d hear her phone ring if I called her. Then she would return to me and we could leave for greener pastures.

  When I reached into my pocket, I couldn’t find my phone. I checked every pocket and the results didn’t change. I swore I had it in my pocket when I came out. I had probably left it in my car. With a sigh, I went to go and check.

  I wasted ten minutes checking out my car and still couldn’t find the phone. I knew for a fact that I brought it, but I couldn’t remember the last time I used it. I only ever talked to Lynnie and she had been out there with me.

  When I gave up, I did so bitterly. I’d just have to weave into the crowd to look for her and Blue. I knew that the moment I saw her, all of this anxiety would melt away.

  I got down the hill and started looking through the people gathered there. They stood in clusters that varied in size, without order to any of it. Only candles in the darkness could be seen clearly. Faces hid in shadows, and I couldn’t find the one that settled the beast in me. She wouldn’t have a candle. Not with Blue. Letting him walk on his own would get him stepped on, and she loved that dog probably more than she loved anything.

  Idly as I walked, I wondered if I had made it on the list of things she loved. She hadn’t said it. That didn’t necessarily mean anything. I loved her so extraordinarily much and hadn’t been able to tell her so. It could be felt in every thought in every moment of my life. The front or the back of my mind, it didn’t matter. The knowledge never left me. Like a shadow, but made of light.

  I finally had to admit that my girlfriend had left the crowd, and it made my body feel cold. She would have gone looking for me. Maybe she had gone off with her friends. Those friends that she didn’t even like. Loneliness made you do odd things.

  I took another look around, spotting a couple of her friends. The two siblings stood together, and Hillary smoked by a boy that wouldn’t look anywhere but her chest. Only missing two.

  I headed up the hill again, looking around. I caught sight of Bird and she looked pissed. “Peggy, you bitch! Where are you?” I could ask about Lynnie, but I doubted she would be helpful. She stormed off anyway.

  I spoke into my walkie-talkie and contacted the men on the other side of the park. “Lee, Carter, you there?”

  “Yep,” Lee said.

  “Have you seen Rocelyn Blum? I can’t find her?”

  “She was just up here looking for you like ten minutes ago. We didn’t know where you were.”

  Carter cut in. “You lost her.”

  I gritted my teeth. I knew I should have stayed with her. Fuck it if people knew she belonged to me. We didn’t do anything wrong. I might get dirty looks for sleeping with an nineteen-year-old, but I didn’t have that much time on her. I just turned twenty-two.

  “Which way did she go?” I asked.

  “No clue,” Lee said. “Draper’s been annoying about her. Every time we get called in to her place, he gets pissy. The election’s gonna be hard to win if he loses another kid in this town.”

  I fought the urge to say something biting. I couldn’t care less about the election, and it shouldn’t matter more than a life. Not more than hers.

  Carter responded with a sigh. “We’ll help you find her. Where the hell is Barbie? Did she just leave?” Barbie didn’t let us call her by her last name. Something about it being cold. Of course it came off cold. Why should we all care about each other?

  “Maybe,” I said, disinterested.

  The moment they got to me, I heard something distant. Howling maybe. Not strong like a wolf. No. A puppy. My puppy.

  “You hear that?” Lee asked.

  Carter listened. “That a dog crying? The kid had a dog with her.”

  Fear began to prick at my brain. Such a new feeling. I hadn’t known it before I met Lynnie. You couldn’t be afraid if you had nothing to lose.

  “My dog,” I said, not sure why.

  Lee’s eyebrows pushed together. “Why does she have your dog?”

  I glared at him for the question. “She likes him.”

  “He’s been watching her for weeks,” Carter said. “He probably likes the girl.”

  We started walking, following the howling that made my insides feel like ice. Everything about this felt rotten from the inside out. My mind threw up pictures I didn’t want to see. Violent and painful pictures of what I might find in these woods. Why had she gone into the woods?

  “Oh,” Lee said. “Good for you, Barker.”

  “Shut up,” I hissed at him.

  “No, no,” Lee said, raising his hands defensively as we entered into the woods. “I’m glad. I hope getting a girlfriend can loosen you up, kiddo. You’ll terrify people less.”

  Carter rolled his eyes. “Let it go, Lee. So what if he and the girl are messing around? We’re here to find her alive.”

  I looked at him with new gratefulness, then left to find Lynnie.

  We made it into the woods, and the candles behind us grew dimmer while the howls of my puppy came louder. If he could howl, that meant he was alive. If he was alive, then she had to be. The thought had nothing to back it up, but my mind rejected any other options.

  I had been so stupid. I thought she would be fine as long as I stayed close. This town had a killer on the loose, other than the one she slept with. He felt as obsessed with her as I did. Now she had gotten lost, and this pit in my stomach told me I wouldn’t ever see her again. Not was alive, anyway. She would be lying in the dirt, eyes open and unseeing. My angel turned to ashes.

  “Shit,” Lee said, almost gasping. He shined a light on the ground and all of us stared at the corpse in the twigs. A girl, young and long gone. Not Lynnie. This confirmed what I had been concerned about. The Ripper had come to the vigil, doing what he did. But the body of this girl, and the line of other bodies, they were just dead. Their throats had been slit and nothing else. No display other than the line and no stolen parts.

  Lee called it in, letting everyone at the station know what happened. Then we drew our guns and flashlights, going deeper into the woods. The puppy still howled, and that fear came back to me. My Lynnie had been lost somewhere, scared and vulnerable. Would she heal from this night? Would she heal from seeing what I knew she saw?

  “Nine… ten… eleven,” Carter groaned as we passed the bodies. The Ripper must have grabbed random people and killed them, then left them as some kind of trail.

  Lynnie wouldn’t have wandered out into the woods for no reason. Something would have drawn her out or forced her. I would punish the soul who did this to her. A slow death, if I could manage it.

  We found more bodies on the ground, each killed the same way. The boys called them in, telling the station that we needed backup. Lee tried to get a hold of Draper, but only got silence.

  The man talked to me about her more than I liked. When I checked in, he asked me how she had been doing. I’d thought he had been concerned for her. Now I wondered.

  He had gone missing; she had gone missing. Had Draper hurt her? He seemed so adamant about getting her to the vigil. I believed he just wanted me to keep an eye on her, but maybe I’d been foolish. It could cost Lynnie more than it did me.

  I heard the sound of a megaphone in the background of this horror scene. Twigs crunched under our feet, and I heard Deputy Beck telling the crowd to disperse. I put it in the back of my mind, moving away from the sound. It didn’t matter. They didn’t matter.

  A gunshot and a scream snapped me out of the quiet terror and into a much more violent version. I knew that scream. A million things crashed into my head at once. Had it been a scream of fear or pain? The screaming stopped. Had Lynnie died? Had my life ended in a split second?

  The three of us took off running. That scream made me feel like a small child, but it also told me where Lynnie had gone.

  It didn’t feel real when I saw her running with Blue clutched to her chest.
If there hadn’t been more pressing matters, I would have been filled with something warm thinking about how her life was in danger and she still protected the dog.

  She saw me, and our eyes met for only a brief moment before someone grabbed her. Blue dropped to the ground, but he hadn’t been hurt. He turned quickly, growling at the soon to be dead man who had his arm around Lynnie’s throat.

  “Sheriff,” Carter exclaimed, hesitating to raise his gun. Good. I had the best aim, and even I didn’t know if I could get Draper without hitting Lynnie. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  The man had wild eyes and his uniform had been drenched in blood. He couldn’t have just been drunk; I knew it. He had taken something chemical. “You don’t understand,” he said so fast that I almost didn’t catch it. “It’s all about her. I know it is. Her. She’s the reason.”

  Lee’s hand tightened on his raised gun while Blue ran to me, crying for me to save his mommy. “She’s a kid, Charles. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Draper pulled his arm back, cutting off more of Lynnie’s breathing. Her nails bit into his flesh, but it looked like he couldn’t feel it, even when he started bleeding.

  “Draper,” I growled, aiming the gun at his head. “Let her go.”

  He shook his head. “You don’t get it. She gets the presents. She stays alive while the others die. Everything is about her and it needs to end with her.”

  Through my teeth, I tried to negotiate. If I took a shot, she wouldn’t be safe. I needed her a few feet away. Those scared eyes locked on me but I felt like the child. “Please,” I begged for the first time in my life. “Don’t hurt her.” I looked at my little angel as the devil gripped her. My fault. I did this.

  Lee cursed, speaking low to Carter. “How did we not know? A murderer working with us for months. Can’t wait till this hits national news.”

  It only occurred to me then that Draper had to be the man I’d been looking for. The blood on him, the wildness in his eyes, his obsession with Lynnie. I should have known.

  “What happened, Draper?” Carter asked carefully, knowing we dealt with an insane person. “You killed all those people?”

  Why bother with questions? He had my girlfriend captured, though he had no weapon on her. He only had a head because of that.

  “I didn’t hurt anybody,” he lied. “I-I just found them. They were all laid out and dead. I don’t know how I got blood on me.”

  “Draper,” Lee said, his voice laced with disappointment.

  He shook his head, closing his eyes tightly before he opened them again. “You don’t understand. Look at it. Look at it all and you’ll see.” His tone made him sound rabid. What coursed through him that would make him behave this way?

  “See what?” Lee asked. “All I see is a scared kid in your arms and a bunch of blood all over you. Backup’s on their way, sheriff. It’s over.”

  Lynnie acted as calm as one could. Fear made tears run down her face as her lip quivered. Her nails still bit at Draper’s flesh, but he still didn’t seem to feel it. I looked into Lynnie’s eyes, trying to communicate with her that she would be okay. She’d be safe in my bed soon, and I’d do my best to make this go away. To keep the nightmares from her head. I didn’t think she believed me.

  I could still hear the megaphone behind us as my puppy scolded me for doing nothing. He didn’t understand. If I aimed wrong or Draper moved, my angel would be gone. Maybe at my own hand. I’d killed more people than I could keep track of, but her death would never be on my hands. I couldn’t hurt her. She would be the only exception to the beast standing before her.

  “You need to listen!” Draper shouted. “Why can’t you see? Her house. Always her house. Her school. The party for her. Everything! I looked. And I see everything.”

  I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. My control left me and my words came in a growl. “Let her go, or I put a bullet in your skull.”

  He just shook his head again. “This is it. All of it. It started with her. I know it did. She started it, and I have to finish it.”

  When he reached for something at his side, I only had a second to think. Ignoring the sudden fear and the doubt, I took control. I could do this. I had to do this.

  I pulled the trigger on my gun and the sound exploded around us. I’d gotten used to this sound, but it made Blue cower, my partners flinch, Lynnie stiffen, and Draper fall. It hit right where I aimed. Between his eyes. He didn’t have time to do anything. When he fell, his grip on Lynnie dropped, along with a knife. I watched it sink blade first into the cold ground. Blood dripped into the grass.

  I ran, abandoning my dog to comfort my girlfriend. She shook but stayed on her feet. Her eyes met mine, full of fear. I thought for a second that she would want to run, that she would be scared of me now.

  She saw me take a life.

  Her hands gripped the tops of my arms, slowly looking from my chest to my eyes again. I put my gun away so that I could hold her. Her lip quivered again as the sound of a muffled sob escaped her. I pulled her to my chest, not saying anything.

  I stayed quiet while more deputies flooded the woods. Lee and Carter did the talking for me, telling them what happened. I didn’t try and get Lynnie to talk, but the others tried. It only took one look from me to get them to back off, fear in their eyes.

  They all did their jobs while I did mine. I received odd glances as I held Lynnie. They wondered why I did it. Not why I comforted her, but why I had chosen to do it. They all knew that I had no empathy. More than that, they wanted to know why she looked to me for comfort. It didn’t matter that they saw or what they thought. She needed me.

  The chatter around me faded from my attention. I focused on Lynnie’s breathing until it finally steadied. Her arms stayed tight around me, and she refused to look anywhere but my chest. Blue behaved, staying next to me and barking at anyone who came too close to Mommy.

  I put my lips to Lynnie’s ear, needing her to hear me through the noise. “Do you want me to take you home?”

  She blinked, looking up. “Don’t they need to talk to me?” she rasped.

  I shook my head. “I can take care of that later.”

  She bent down, picking up our puppy. She cuddled him to her chest, petting him until he stopped whimpering. My hand went to the small of her back, and I started leading her away from the bodies and the people talking. I gave a glance to Lee and he nodded. His version of permission.

  Lynnie stayed quiet the whole way to my house. I got her inside and she put Blue on the floor, taking his collar off. He scampered off to our bedroom and we followed.

  She didn’t say anything as she threw her shoes into the corner. The pretty little dress she had on fell to the floor. I watched her, feeling helpless to comfort her pain. Everything about her looked sunken as she shuffled her feet to my dresser. She pulled out one of my shirts and unhooked her bra. Allowing the straps to fall, she removed her bra and tossed it to the floor with the dress before she pulled my shirt on and sat on our bed. Blood stained her arm, but I wouldn’t point that out to her.

  I sat beside her, pulling her head to my chest and kissing her curls. She broke down.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR:

  Placid

  Rocelyn

  I laid on my stomach in bed, covered only by a blanket. I watched Isaiah as he ruined my morning by getting dressed. He had a tendency to do that kind of thing. Very cruel in my opinion, but he had a life to live.

  “I feel like the pants aren’t needed,” I suggested helpfully.

  Isaiah grinned while he slowly pulled them up and fastened the button. “I think I’ll upset the take out guy if I answer the door naked.”

  I shrugged. “I doubt it. You look fabulous naked. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  He looked at the floor instead of me, and he changed the subject. “Do you need anything?”

  With a sigh, I said, “No.” He’d been attentive since the night of the vigil. He didn’t force me into talking about it, but I caved on my own a
few days after. I told him how I felt and he held me until I stopped crying. He could be gentler than he thought himself capable.

  It’d been a week since it all happened. School had been canceled and I wouldn’t go back till Monday. I spent every night in Isaiah’s bed.. I thought he thought it would have been taking advantage of me when I was upset. I didn’t know how to explain to him that it didn’t work that way. Not with us. He put me too high on a pedestal, thinking me something other than a teenaged girl with an oven addiction. He thought he would be bad for me. He never really said it like that, but I felt it. I wished I could fix it.

  Isaiah moved over to me, leaning down to kiss me before the doorbell rang. He left me to get it and Blue followed behind.

  I sat up in bed, checking my phone. I’d finally gotten a hold of my parents since the incident. They had been annoyed that the police called off the watch on our house. Honestly, so had I. It had all finally ended, but I’d miss Isaiah being around all the time. Thankfully, we had a lot of reasons to see each other. I didn’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t caved and decided to be with me. Laughable, really. If that hadn’t happened, I would have ended up stopping by ‘randomly’ to give him cookies all the time. I’d have had to switch it up, of course.

  My parents would still be gone for a while, but they didn’t seem worried about me. They didn’t have to be, I supposed. Not anymore. They’d extended their trip to get some more work done and to avoid what I’d been dealing with.

  Since Isaiah killed the sheriff, every news station within thirty miles had been trying to get at me. Curse them for their ease at finding out who I am and how I was involved. Of course, my friends came forward as soon as they found out they could get some attention. The notes from the sheriff had been made public, and my friends all got their fifteen minutes of fame. I hadn’t watched the news at all, and my phone spent most of its time turned off. I only turned it on when Isaiah left for work. I had to stay behind so that I had some freedom. Home had news vans parked outside.