The Scars That Define Us

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The Scars That Define Us Page 2

by M. N. Forgy


  “Yeah, apparently she was just as startled about the whole shenanigans her mother had up her sleeve as we were,” Bull informs us as he takes a drag from his cigarette.

  “I think she’s a threat to the club. She needs to be taken care of,” Locks says, loathing high in his voice. Instantly, I’m reminded that Dani knows the darkness, which tempts me. If she said anything to the Feds, I will be on death row for sure.

  “You know what we do with threats.” Old Guy nods in my direction, indicating they send me after threats to ensure they never have the chance to talk. I kill them and, as sadistic as it sounds, I usually enjoy it.

  “Firefly is not a threat,” Bobby clips, eyeing Old Guy. What was Dani thinking coming back here? I kill threats. If this goes south, Bull could order me to kill Dani. Can I kill her?

  “Regardless of her mother, Dani is not like her. She has Devil’s Dust in her. We’ve all seen it come out while she’s been here,” Bull says, catching everyone’s attention. “That fight between her mother and her that day was intense. Dani’s my blood, and she has nowhere else to go.”

  I smirk at the memory. Dani just about killed her mother that day. It was great watching her come into her own; who knew a beauty such as herself could be so brutal.

  Everyone goes silent as Bull looks at me. He knows the shit I have been dipping in the last couple of days. Seeing how he thinks Dani is innocent, I am no doubt on his shit list.

  “Dani is not like her mother. I can tell you that,” Bobby says smiling. What does he know? Why in the hell is he protecting her so much?

  “So, what do you want from us?” Hawk asks.

  Bull sits, rubbing his scruffy jaw as he thinks.

  “After the storm she goes,” Bull pauses and looks at me. “She can stay with Bobby for now, get her on her feet. I’ll keep her away from the club until everyone feels comfortable around her,” Bull says to Bobby, who nods in agreement. “I’ll have Tom Cat transport her wherever she needs to go.” Bull looks at me, his eyes angry and waiting for me to object. I look away and stare at the wall, not sure what I’m feeling entirely. “Things will surface whether she was involved or not. If she was,” Bull looks at me with sorrow, “then we’ll handle it. Everyone in favor?” he asks. Everyone says aye but Locks and me. I sigh loudly; this entire situation is a clusterfuck. What if I’m sent to ensure her silence? The thought angers and frightens me all at the same time. I don’t know if I can trust Dani, what if she is responsible for trying to take down the club? I don’t know if I can allow someone to harm Dani if that is the order to the situation, making me go against my brotherhood to save Dani. Bull slams the gavel down, declaring the vote over.

  “This is Bullshit,” Locks bellows, his face wrinkling with anger as he scrunches it at Bull with disbelief. Locks face is blistering-red, making his long, blond hair and mustache appear lighter against his skin.

  I’m not sure why I didn’t agree entirely. Maybe because my head is telling me I need to wash my hands of Dani for being a threat, but my soul still reels for her. Until I know the truth of her involvement with her mother, I need to keep her backstabbing ass away from me. Keep it in my head that she’s a threat and nothing more.

  Dani

  Inside Bobby’s greasy bathroom, which is anything but sanitary, I grab a shampoo bottle to wash my hair. The smell releases tones of vanilla and coconuts; it smells like Bobby. I wash my hair and body, wondering how I allowed myself to get in this mess. What if the voting goes against me? Will someone drag me out of the shower by my wet hair and shoot me in the courtyard? I groan at the thought and turn the water off. I push the shower door open and take the red towel hanging from the towel rack. Wrapping it around myself, I notice the ends are tattered and its small size. I wonder if Bobby has any clean shirts I can borrow until I get my things. I walk out of the bathroom and notice Bobby walking through the bedroom door with a suitcase in hand.

  “Shit. Sorry, Firefly,” Bobby says, noticing I’m indecent. His tone is apologetic, but his eyes never leave my half-naked body. Blushing, I try to pull the small towel tighter.

  “Here are some things I grabbed from the apartment. I’ll give you a minute to get dressed, then we’ll talk.” He gives me one last glance, his eyes squinting with desire. My mouth parts with surprise. “Bobby!”

  He smirks and shuts the door.

  Opening the suitcase, I find my things shoved in there, no doubt from Bobby. I notice an unfamiliar white paper bag and grab it. I empty its contents on the floor and find a pack of birth control. The little pink case reminds me that Shadow was going to ask Bobby to have Doc write me a prescription for it a few weeks back. Poor Doc, I bet she gets tired of working as a doctor for the club. I wonder how many girls she puts on birth control who crawl through here. I throw the pack back in the bag. I started my period a few days ago, and with recent events, I’m not going to be having sex anytime soon, so what’s the point in taking them? I find a black bra with matching panties, and a grey tank with ripped shorts and quickly put them on, unsure when Bobby will bust through the door again.

  “Hey,” Bobby says, entering the room as soon as I put on my last piece of clothing.

  “Hey,” I respond, throwing my hair in a messy ponytail.

  “So, it looks like you will be staying here until the storm passes,” Bobby states, crossing his arms, his bare arms rippled with tattooed muscle.

  “Okay,” I say, my tone encouraging him to continue.

  “After that, you are going to stay with me back at the apartment until everything is figured out.”

  He means until the club is convinced about whether I had anything to do with the FBI or not.

  “What about Shadow?” I ask, curious what he thinks of all this.

  Bobby turns his head to look at the wall.

  “What?” I question, sensing something is off. “How did the vote go?”

  “You’re here, aren’t you?” he asks, picking some trash from the floor.

  “Yeah, but did Shadow vote in my favor, or whatever it was you guys were voting for?” I ask, curious.

  Bobby stops and looks at me, his blue eyes hiding the truth he doesn’t want to tell me.

  “I can’t talk to you about club business, Firefly,” he says, turning his head quickly. His avoidance tells me what I already know; Shadow voted against me, but what was the vote? Did he vote to kill me? Did he want me out of here?

  I turn my gaze toward the floor and close my eyes with hurt. This ache in my chest is really starting to become unbearable. Every time Shadow takes a blow at me, my heart shatters that much more.

  “Did you vote against me?” I inquire, looking at Bobby, wondering if I had a friend in this Hell.

  Bobby looks back at me and smirks, my persistence making him shake his head, but his smile letting me know he has my back.

  ***

  For the rest of the day, Bobby insists I stay in his room. Knowing there’s a possibility Shadow voted against me, that he may be tasked to kill, or even want me to leave the club, eats away at me. Despite keeping as busy as I possibly can in Bobby’s room, my thoughts constantly switch to him, but I still want to punch him in the head for being a prick. The lights flicker, pulling me from my thoughts, with night upon us the bedroom darkens for seconds at a time with the harsh storm surrounding the state.

  The door creaks open, the thing barely hanging onto its hinges.

  “Hey, you all right?” Bobby questions, coming into the room.

  “The storm seems pretty bad,” I say, pointing at the light flickering from above us.

  “Yeah, it’s pretty nasty,” he responds, throwing some black sheets on the bed. “Here are some clean sheets.”

  “Thanks,” I say, touching the dark, jersey-knit fabric. “Where’s Shadow?” I word-vomit.

  Bobby stops in his tracks. “He’s across the hall in his room.” His voice is hesitant. I can tell he wants me to keep my distance.

  “Oh,” is all I muster. I know I should stay away from
Shadow, but I can’t help but want to run in his room and be with him. My head and heart are so conflicted.

  “All right, well… night, Firefly,” he says, stepping out of the room.

  “Wait. Where are you going?” I ask. I hate being trapped in this room by myself.

  “Gonna sleep on the couch. Let you have the bed to yourself.”

  “Oh, thanks.” I smile in appreciation.

  “Night, Firefly.”

  “Goodnight, Bobby.”

  ***

  I wake in a hot sweat, the wind whistling against the building and the thunder clapping. Dreams of the kidnapping still haunt me when I sleep. I wonder when I’ll be able to finally sleep through the night without a reminder of Ricky’s voice. I slip off the bed, out of breath and flip the switch to the lights but they just flicker on and off. The electricity is unstable from the violent storm. It explains why it’s so muggy in here. I open the door and peek into nothing but still blackness. “Bobby!” I whisper loudly, but there’s no response. I could run, just grab my shoes and high tail it out of here. I look across the hall at Shadow’s door and know I can’t leave. If I run, I will look guilty, and they will find me. I tiptoe into the blackness, my hand trailing against the gritty wall to help lead the way. The lights flash on and off, giving me a chance to navigate down the hall and into the kitchen. I find the sink by chance and trail my hands along the counter to the rack with clean dishes. I stumble upon a glass sitting on the draining board, I fill it with water then lean against the sink and enjoy the cool liquid splashing down my throat. My body is beading with sweat. How can anybody sleep? It’s so hot.

  “Fucking lights!” I hear as Shadow flings open the kitchen door. We both stop and stare at each other as the lights flicker on and off. My body goes stiff, and my heart races as Shadow stares back at me, his eyes sinister and dark, piercing me. Thunder booms and the lights go off. Frightened, I toss my cup in the sink, the glass shattering as it hits the stainless steel. I make my way quickly in the darkness toward the kitchen doors to get away. The last place I want to be is in a dark room with Shadow.

  I trip over a stool as the lights flicker on briefly, my hands falling against the dusty floor with force, making my palms burn from impact. I look up and notice Shadow near the sink where I was before, the lights giving away my location. His eyes catch mine before the room goes black again, and I crawl toward the door in the pure blackness. When my hand touches it, the lights flicker on and Shadow is standing where my hand is touching instead of the door. I open my mouth to scream, and he smacks his hand against my mouth to quiet me as he pulls me up violently and jerks me against his chest.

  “DON’T SCREAM,” SHADOW WHISPERS into my ear, his tone alarming and menacing. “Do you understand what I just said to you? If I let go and you scream, you’re not going to like what I do next.”

  I nod in understanding as my heart rams against my chest in fear. He slowly releases his hand from my mouth. I throw his arm holding me against him off me, while I push away from him. He’s wearing black jersey shorts with no shirt, his dark hair sticking to his forehead from the heat. Even when I’m not one hundred percent sure he’s not going to kill me, I find him lick-worthy. His chest glistening from little droplets of sweat forming from the heat.

  “Why did you come back here, Dani?” he asks, his tone harsh. The lights flicker, giving him an eerie glow. One side of his face is shaded with the dark while the other is flashed with the small gleam of lights, which turn on and off briefly. His face is drawn down, his eyes hooded with an impending death glare. His lips smirk to the side as he reads my frightened body language.

  I straighten my back and try to act unaffected. “What was I supposed to do? Go back to New York with my mother?” I don’t try and hide the bitterness in my tone.

  “Coming back here was stupid. Only reason you’re still here is because your father is the president. Otherwise, your ratting ass would be six-feet-under.” Shadow’s words hit what’s left of my heart. I can literally feel my shattered heart lifting walls of defense and scarring those made from love.

  “Fuck you, Shadow. I’m not a rat,” I spit.

  “Right,” Shadow says sarcastically. “So, I’m supposed to believe you didn’t tell your mother anything?” He puffs his sweaty chest out and hooks his thumbs in the elastic of his shorts.

  “You mean how you are a hit man?” I ask scowling. “If I had, would you still be standing here?”

  Shadow huffs at my statement; he clearly doesn’t believe me.

  “So, I should just trust you?” Shadow scoffs. “Trust the girl who was whisked away by the FBI, who claimed she was a witness. Trust the girl who took my soul and smothered it with her lies?” He cocks his head to the side and smirks. “I don’t think so, babe.”

  I flinch at his cruel words, feeling the snap of my last string of caring. I smile, disgusted by his hurtful words. “Shadow, I never had your trust to begin with, so believe whatever the hell you want.”

  Shadow’s face falls from amusement to an expression of anger. His jaw hardens, and his eyebrows cave inward. I shiver, regretting my sudden sprout of bravery.

  “Dani, I can tell you this. You don’t want to piss me off,” he says with hooded eyes.

  “Pretty sure I already have.” I scowl at him, telling him what we both already know. I am the enemy, not only to him, but also to everyone in this club.

  He stares at me, the power in his eyes ominous. I wonder how I got myself into this situation. How did I believe Shadow and I would ever be anything more than a train wreck?

  “You promised me we wouldn’t be that couple,” I say, trying to hide the hurt that he slept around on me, but I’m not strong enough. I shift on my feet and slant my head to the side, looking at the gritty floor, which lights up and goes dark for seconds at a time. “You said you weren’t that guy,” I continue.

  I look at him, waiting for what he has to say to his broken promise. His eyes change to those of regret, before hardening so quickly, I question if it even happened or if I just imagined it.

  Shadow chuckles, widening his stance and folding his arms across his sweaty chest. “You mean an outlaw from a motorcycle club broke a promise? Lied to you?” He laughs. “That’s a shocker.”

  My body is hit with a surge of adrenaline straight to the heart. I thought Shadow was different, that he was the one, but I was clearly wrong. He is the opposite. He was just the one who broke my heart.

  “Firefly, are you in here?” Bobby asks, pushing through the doors to the kitchen.

  Bobby looks between Shadow and me. “You all right, Firefly?” Bobby asks with concern, his lips pinched and eyes lifted with worry.

  Shadow glares at Bobby as he enters the kitchen.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” I make my way to the doors but stop short, right in front of Shadow.

  “Fuck. You,” I whisper.

  Shadow bites his bottom lip as his eyebrows furrow, giving a light wrinkle between them. Bobby pushes on my back and directs me back to my cell.

  ***

  The next day, the storm is over for the most part. Some rumbles of thunder linger, but we have full-functioning electricity and the air conditioner is back on. Bobby brought me breakfast and lunch along with a clean towel for showering. I’m hoping tomorrow we can head to the apartment; I don’t want to be around Shadow or this club any longer. After looking at my sixth motorcycle magazine, I have had enough of being held captive in this room. Maybe Bobby can whip me up one of his whiskey drinks or something. Spending the day numb and drunk doesn’t sound bad. I look in Bobby’s dresser for some kind of weapon in case I run into Shadow again. I don’t know if I can bring myself to hurt him, but I’d like to think I would if I needed too. Crap. There is nothing but spare bullets in his drawers. After coming up empty-handed with nothing to use as a weapon, I open the door slowly and poke my head out, looking for any sign of Shadow. I don’t hear anything. It’s completely silent, which is odd; there are usually guys hollering and g
irls giggling.

  I enter the bar area and Babs is standing behind the bar looking at a magazine. Her red hair is pinned up with curls flopping down everywhere. She’s wearing a long, black sleeved shirt with black pants. Not something I peg her for wearing—weird.

  “Hey, there, how ya doing?” she asks, slapping the magazine closed. Her eyes and tone seem surprised to see me.

  “I could be better,” I say, sitting down, not sure if I can trust her. She seems to play the motherly role of the club and is feisty with her forward attitude. I wouldn’t doubt her for a second to try and eliminate me for being a possible threat to the club.

  “Where are the boys?” I ask, looking around the empty space.

  “On a run,” she says flatly.

  “A run? It’s still storming,” I say, pointing toward the glass doors.

  “That won’t stop them dumbasses,” she says with a smirk.

  The doors to the kitchen suddenly slam open.

  “All right, we’re set. You ready?” Vera says, walking up beside Babs with a set of keys in her hand. Vera’s reddish-brown hair is pulled up in a high ponytail. Her tight, black shirt is tucked into short, ripped jean shorts, which are topped with her property patch deemed by Old Guy. I’ve only met Vera once, right before the bike rally where everything went to shit. She wasn’t too friendly if I remember right. Old Guy, her significant other, I met before as well. He didn’t try and hide his attraction toward me when we first met, he was very forward in his advances. Vera’s eyes lazily find me sitting at the bar before scowling.

  “Great, what are we going to do about her?” she asks, her eyes never leaving mine.

  “What?” I ask, sounding a little nervous.

  Babs smiles wolfishly. “Bring ‘er along.”

  “What?’ Vera asks, confused.

  “She says she’s innocent, that she’s one of us. Make her prove her loyalty,” Babs says, looking at Vera.

  Vera smiles. “To us anyway. The boys will have to decide if she’s loyal on their own.”

 

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