The See-Through Leopard

by Sibel Hodge

  Slowly, I saw her emerge. She jumped down from the lower branches and ran towards us.

  I leaped out of the Land Rover and sprinted to meet her, tears of joy streaming down my face. She was OK. She was alive!

  I held out my arms and she bounded into them, knocking me to the floor. Thinking this was a big game, she swatted me with her paw and sat on top of me.

  Through my tears, I laughed with relief so hard my stomach hurt, and I buried my head in her neck. ‘You’re OK, girl. I thought I’d lost you.’

  She sat up and licked the side of my face as I rolled over and sat up, hugging her towards me. ‘Don’t ever do that to me again!’ I stared into her eyes, and she just yawned in response, probably wondering what all the fuss was about.

  ‘Her collar’s still on, so maybe there’s a problem with it,’ Zach said, getting out of the Land Rover. ‘Take it off and let me check it.’

  I undid the collar and handed it to him as she nudged me to stand up and play. She walked round me in a circle, looking up at me with a shifty gaze, then she lifted up on her hind legs and threw her huge paws on my shoulders, pushing me back down to the ground, where she decided to sit on me again, flicking her tail.

  ‘I think she’s telling me off for leaving her.’ I chuckled.

  Zach examined the collar. ‘I think the battery’s died.’ He strode to the Land Rover. ‘There should be some more in here.’ I heard him opening the glovebox as I stroked Asha behind the ear.

  The alarm call of some antelopes rang in the air and Asha sat up, instantly alert, ears flicking, leaning her powerful body against me. There was something different in her eyes now. A change that spoke of new experiences that I would never share with her. A loss of the dependant, innocent leopard she’d been. My little baby was all grown up.

  ‘You can’t go yet. We need to fix your collar.’ I held onto her tightly, but I could feel her muscles straining under my touch. She wanted to go.

  ‘Here.’ Zach handed me the collar and held up the tracking device in his other hand, checking the signal. ‘It’s working now.’

  I quickly slipped it round her neck as the call of the antelope became more panicky in the background. As soon as I’d finished doing up her collar, Asha was off, padding away purposefully out of my life and into hers. I watched her disappear into the distance wishing with everything I had that I could walk with her, side by side, like I’d done since she was a cub. We tracked her until another guard took over, and when we drove back to the lodge I felt a mixture of both triumph and worry. I missed her like crazy, but she was healthy, happy, and enjoying the life she was supposed to have.

  I decided there and then that I would still drive out to see her every couple of days. I wouldn’t approach her, but if she came to me, then it was a different story. A few stolen moments with her in the bush wasn’t the same as being with her all the time, but it was all I could hope for now. If Zach could have his elephant love, I could have my leopard love.

  In the following weeks, as Zach was busy with the documentary and I was obsessing about Asha and trying to fill the void she’d left, Dad tried to take my mind off things by taking me out in the bush when he had to treat any injured animals. It helped a bit, but I still had a lot of time think.

  This had all started with Asha, but now it was about so much more. I still couldn’t get the savage picture of Bella out of my head, and I couldn’t stand the thought of what happened to her happening to another creature. Animals were being killed for profit in Africa every day, and the world either didn’t know or didn’t care. How many elephants, rhinos, leopards, lions, cheetahs were dying? How many other animals?

  I had to do something, but in order to get things to change, you had to make people aware of it. You had to make people care enough. Extinction is forever. No going back.

  The question was, what could I do to help them?

  Chapter 26

  ‘I’ve finished editing the documentary,’ Zach said as we sat drinking an early morning cup of coffee on the veranda.

  ‘Wow, you’ve finished it?’ I smiled for the first time all week. ‘I bet Asha looks brilliant on film, doesn’t she?’

  ‘It’s amazing. Even though I say so myself.’ He smiled proudly. ‘I think you’re going to love it. But first I want you to meet someone.’ He finished off the last of his coffee and set it down on the table, rising to his feet.

  ‘Who?’ I asked.

  ‘You’ll see.’ He smiled, turned on his heels, and strode down the steps.

  I narrowed my eyes at his retreating form and refused to get up. I wasn’t really in the mood for meeting strangers.

  ‘Aren’t you coming?’ his voice called from down by the Land Rover.

  ‘You go,’ I said. ‘Maybe I’ll take a drive out to see Asha.’

  He bounded back up the steps. ‘You’re not supposed to be following her around all the time. How’s she going to learn to be a proper wild leopard if you go and see her every five minutes? Come on, this will cheer you up, and you’re going to want to meet her.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘I’ll tell you on the way.’ He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, pushing me along the veranda and down the steps.

  We got into the Land Rover and I slumped in the seat, forehead scrunched up in a frown. ‘Stop mucking about. Who are we going to see?’

  ‘Kira.’ He glanced at me, his eyes dancing with excitement.

  A frown furrowed on my forehead.

  Kira? Why the hell would I want to meet your girlfriend when I already feel crappy enough about missing Asha?

  ‘Maybe you should go on your own,’ I snapped. ‘You might want some privacy.’

  He threw his head back and roared with laughter.

  What’s so funny about that?

  I glared at him out of the corner of my eye and gave him abrupt one-word answers as he tried to talk to me.

  We drove out of Kilingi and off onto the dirt track that led to the tarmac road, then turned left towards Mumbi Game Reserve.

  Zach kept glancing over and smiling.

  Oh, God, maybe he’s going to tell me they’re engaged, or something. And what happens if they get married? Zach will never leave Kilingi. That means she’ll move in there, and I’ll have to see them all over each other every day!

  My stomach turned at the thought.

  ‘You’re very quiet. What’s up?’ Zach asked, turning into Mumbi.

  ‘Nothing,’ I mumbled.

  ‘Look, I know you’ve been sad about Asha, but—’

  ‘Whatever,’ I cut him off, staring out of the window.

  I heard him exhale a soft sigh and ignored him as we drove up towards the main lodge, which was as grand as Kilingi, and then took a dirt track off to the right.

  ‘Aren’t we stopping here?’ I snapped.

  Surely Kira would be waiting for him at the lodge, wouldn’t she? Maybe she’d be getting the champagne ready in the bar for a nice toast to the happy couple. Well, if she did I’d probably choke on it.

  He gave me an odd look. ‘She’s out in the bush.’

  Well, good for her! Where else would I expect the future wife of Zach to be? Out in the bush so you can spend lots of time together with your big herd of animals.

  ‘Oh,’ I said with disinterest.

  We bumped along through bush and trees and tracks that were pretty similar to Kilingi, then finally pulled up under the shade of a large acacia tree. He switched off the engine, pulled out a pair of binoculars and looked out towards a pride of lions relaxing on some rocks about eighty metres away. There were eleven females with six cubs of varying ages and sizes. The cubs ran around playing with each other or trying to annoy their parents by chewing on their tails or biting their faces.

  He handed me the binoculars. ‘She’s the third one from the right with the two small cubs.’

  I took the binoculars and stared at him. ‘I thought we were going to see Kira, not lions.’

  He jerked his chin towards the pri
de and pointed. ‘That is Kira.’

  My mouth hung open. ‘Kira’s a lion?’

  He frowned. ‘Well, who did you think she was?’

  A smile curved onto my lips. ‘I thought she was your girlfriend. I thought she was the daughter of the reserve owner. The one I saw you with at the party a couple of years ago at Kilingi.’

  His frown got bigger. ‘You didn’t go to the party.’

  ‘I did, but no one saw me.’

  ‘Why did you think that was Kira?’

  ‘Because you kept saying you were going to see her all the time, and I just assumed that it was Miss Gorgeous Big Eyes who was getting very cosy with you that night.’ The vision of them laughing conspiratorially came into my mind, her touching his shoulder, leaning in to whisper in his ear, and him sliding his hand around her waist.

  He roared with laughter again.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ It was my turn to frown.

  He shook his head. ‘That’s Callie. And we’ve known each other since we were kids. She’s just a good friend.’

  She was a bit too touchy feely to be a friend. How can she be just a friend when she was all over him?

  But then, hadn’t Zach been kind to me in the last few years? Hadn’t he touched me when he was comforting me? Hadn’t he just been a ‘good friend’ to me?

  ‘Callie’s got a boyfriend at university, anyway. She can’t wait to get her degree in business management and get out of Africa to go to America or England,’ he said. ‘I mean, most girls want wining and dining, and I couldn’t offer them any of that. It’s not like there are many girls who would want to put up with a guy like me who’s obsessed about animals all the time, while they’re stuck out in the wilds of Africa, is it?’

  But I would, Zach. Oh, God, I would.

  I grabbed the binoculars and put them to my face so he wouldn’t have to see the flush of relief and embarrassment creeping up my cheeks.

  I watched Kira as one of her cubs climbed all over her while she lazily licked the other one’s face. She was a beautiful lioness—muscular with a shiny coat that was slightly darker than the others.

  ‘Kira was an orphan, too, like Asha,’ Zach said.

  ‘What?’

  He nodded. ‘Her mother was shot by a hunter in the Masai Mara Reserve. He thought it would be fun to have a stuffed lion as a trophy. Lionesses go off away from the pride when they have cubs. After a few weeks, they introduce them back to the pride. It helps with bonding, but it can leave the lionesses vulnerable. Kira’s mum kept her hidden in some dense bush, and it was only when one of the rangers heard her crying that they realised she was there. They found cartridges and blood and spoor from her mother, along with the hunter’s tracks.’

  ‘How awful.’ I shook my head and watched her through the binoculars. Another poor animal killed unnecessarily. ‘So how did she end up here?’

  ‘I re-wilded her.’

  My jaw dropped open as the binoculars fell out of my hand and landed in the footwell. ‘You re-wilded her?’

  ‘Yes. She was released here because we have a lot of lionesses and this reserve was fairly short of them.’

  ‘But why didn’t you tell me this?’ I stared at him incredulously. ‘When you and Dad were having that chat about Asha when I first found her, you seemed so against the idea of me keeping her to re-wild. Why didn’t you say something in all this time?’

  ‘Because I didn’t want you to think it would be easy. I know the pitfalls of trying to re-wild an animal, and I didn’t want you to get this idea in your head that you could just potter about with her for a few years as a pet and everything would work out OK. It’s hard. It’s a long, long road, and it very rarely works to the point where an animal can survive in the wild on its own.’

  ‘So why are you telling me now?’ I asked.

  He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. ‘Because you’ve been really sad that you’re not with Asha every day like before, and I wanted to show you that this is what you’ve been working towards all this time. Kira is one of the few examples of a re-wilded animal living her life, healthy and happy. She would still recognize me and my call, but for her sake, I need to just watch her and appreciate her from afar. Since she lives in a pride, there’s no way I could go in there amongst them and just say hi to her. I’d probably be ripped to shreds. But I’ve done my job, even though I miss her like you miss Asha. When Asha has cubs of her own, she may become more distant from you as her protective instinct kicks in, but this is how things are supposed to be.’

  ‘But I haven’t been sad for Asha. I know she’s intelligent and more than capable of looking after herself. I’ve just been sad for myself. It’s like I’ve got this great big hole there now.’

  He squeezed my hand harder. ‘Believe me, I know. I still feel like that. But nothing that’s worth anything in life is ever easy. If you love them, you have to let them go.’

  I looked into his eyes, feeling my heart melting. Every time I’d felt sad in the last few years Zach had been there for me. He always seemed to know the right things to say. Do the right things. Make me try and become a stronger and better person. He had been a truly amazing friend, and I had been far from easy to deal with when I got to Kilingi. If it wasn’t for him helping me with Asha, she probably wouldn’t have been re-wilded successfully at all. I hadn’t even been interested in animals. What did I know about teaching a leopard survival skills? Day after day he taught me about her needs and all about the animals out here that I hadn’t given a second thought to before I arrived. I’d been too wrapped up in my own messy life to think about anyone else, but he had such strength and patience and loyalty, and he’d always gone out of his way to help me.

  And that’s the thing about friendship. You can really appreciate a good one when you’ve been let down by friends before. Good friends see you at your worst and still care about you, regardless of your faults, or ugly behaviour. Even if he’d never feel the same way about me as I did about him, I was so grateful and happy that he had ever become my friend in the first place. I would rather have him in my life as a great friend, than risk losing him if I told him how I felt. And when the time came that he did fall in love with someone, I would have to be strong enough to wish him happiness, just like I had to do with Asha.

  I smiled. ‘Thank you. Thank you for everything.’ I didn’t thank him for every individual thing he’d done. I didn’t need to, and it would take all day. When he smiled and nodded, I could see by the look on his face that he understood.

  ‘You’re very welcome.’ He started the Land Rover, took one more look at Kira and smiled like a proud parent. ‘Now let me show you the documentary. You’re going to love it!’

  We got back to the lodge and I sat in the lounge with Dad, Jenna, Richard, and some of the game rangers who weren’t out with the guests for the royal unveiling of the film.

  I took a deep breath as I watched Asha grow on camera before my eyes from a nervous cub that fell out of the trees to a cunning and independent hunter who was an expert in stealth and agility. Her intelligence shone through in her actions as she carefully weighed up each situation and adapted to it.

  It wasn’t just Asha that had grown. I saw myself unfold before my eyes, too. In the beginning I was painfully shy, with that sunhat pulled low over my face and my head bowed, often turning away from the camera that I was always aware of. But as the time went on, the hat disappeared, and gradually, I held my head high, oblivious to being in the centre of attention through the lens. I had transformed into a strong, caring, and confident woman, and that’s when it hit me.

  Even though bad things had happened, something positive and life-changing had come out of it. I’d made peace with myself and my life, and I knew it was possible to heal the grief. Not just the grief of losing Mum, but the grief of losing my old self. I’d been to hell and back, and I’d emerged through the other side with a new discovery of what was important and what wasn’t.

  So, if you asked me now whether I believed ever
ything happened for a reason, I’d have to say yes. Definitely, unequivocally yes.

  We all cheered and hugged each other. My eyes welled up (again!), but they were tears of happiness.

  ‘I’m so proud of you, Jazz,’ Dad whispered in my ear as he gave me a tight hug. Even his eyes watered with emotion.

  ‘That was an amazing piece of filming, Zach.’ Richard clapped him on the back. ‘I couldn’t have done a better job myself. I’ve spoken to my contacts at National Geographic and they want you to send it to them as soon as you can.’

  ‘Congratulations, Zach.’ I hugged him.

  Zach’s face beamed with pride. ‘I just hope it helps to spread the word about poaching.’

  I stood up in front of them all. ‘Listen, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve come up with a possible plan.’ I began to tell them my ideas.

  Chapter 27

  ‘Have I got some amazing news for you,’ Dad said with a grin when I walked into his office at the lodge to help him treat a small duiker antelope with a broken leg.

  ‘What?’

  He held a finger in the air. ‘You’ll have to wait. I think Zach should have the honours.’

  I raised an eyebrow. ‘Sounds intriguing.’

  Dad got on the radio and called Zach to come to the lodge.

  As Dad and I were just finishing up setting the duiker’s leg in a cast, Zach strode in. He leaned casually against Dad’s desk and crossed his arms, smiling at me.

  ‘What?’ I cried. ‘The anticipation’s killing me! What’s the news?’

  ‘The documentary aired on National Geographic Channel last week and I’ve had an email from someone about it.’

  ‘Who?’ I motioned for him to spit it out.

  ‘The World Conservation Society want you to be a guest speaker at their annual fund raising event that’s being held in London.’

  My jaw nearly hit the floor. I pointed to my chest. ‘Me? They want me?’

  He nodded coolly. ‘Yep.’