Luke

by Jan Irving

  “This is… nice,” Luke noted, looking immediately at ease with Morgan’s home.

  “I do get bats that get in sometimes,” Morgan felt he had to warn. “I have to get someone to take a look at the roof.”

  “I’ll go up tomorrow if you have a ladder,” Luke offered.

  “I’m not a carpenter, but I’m pretty handy.”

  “I have a shed with all kinds of woodworking supplies left over from the woman who built this homestead.”

  “A woman? She did a damn good job.”

  “Better than I have, I know.” Seeing the weariness in Luke’s eyes, Morgan cut short the tour. “My room is through there,” he pointed to a door cut of logs at the far end of the room. “There’s another guest room right under the staircase, and then the loft is yours….”

  Morgan led the way up the stairs, grazing a hand over a mobile made by the former resident out of Sylvan beach wood and seashells. At the top of the stairs, the loft stretched out the rest of the length of the cabin, a double-sized bed made of homespun logs under a window.

  But it was the cradle that made Luke pause, also made by hand with tall spindles. “Oh, man,” he whispered.

  “It was just here,” Morgan said. “More of that luck, I guess. You can move it close to the bed if you want. And here, you want me to hold her while you get settled? I don’t have baby bedding, but you can probably improvise tonight with some of the blankets and sheets. They’re all new and freshly washed.”

  Luke handed Jessie back to Morgan, and Morgan paced back and forth with the baby while Luke sorted through the pile of bedding at the end of his bed, rigging something up for Jessie.

  “She may mess up this bedding,” Luke warned.

  “That’s what the washing machine is for.” Morgan wasn’t too worried. He liked holding Jessie for Luke while he watched the other man. Luke looked to be in about his mid-twenties, about ten years younger than Morgan, and yet his tanned face was weathered by harsh experience. Man, he was appealing. And Morgan had to keep that thought to himself.

  Instead, he concentrated on Jessie; but before he knew it, Luke was done, the cradle moved up so it was within touching distance of the bed.

  “I’ll leave the light on downstairs so if you need to heat up some formula, you can find your way to the kitchen easily.”

  “She will wake up sometime. And then she’ll wake you up,” Luke said, still looking uncertain over Morgan’s proposed arrangement.

  “I’m a doctor, so I don’t always sleep through the night. I should warn you that if I get a call, I might have to go somewhere or help someone in my clinic.”

  Luke sat on the bed with Jessie, his fawn hair rumpled, blond stubble on his lower jaw and chin. His blue work shirt was slightly open, revealing a tanned throat and the wisp of soft brown-blond hair on his chest. Morgan swallowed, flashing to what it would be like to put his hand there, feel Luke’s heart beating, touch his warm, healthy skin.

  He cleared his throat. “Well… goodnight.”

  “Yeah, goodnight, Doc,” Luke called. “And… thanks.”

  MORGAN lit a fire in the great room, since he felt too wound up to sleep. He didn’t think the dancing light or the slight crackle of wood burning would disturb Jessie or Luke.

  He settled into a wooden chair and wished he hadn’t given up smoking. He could use something now to soothe himself from thinking so much that he found it impossible to rest.

  Above, he caught the creak of wood and then a tall, man-shaped shadow moved around. It was Luke, taking off his shirt.

  Morgan’s breath caught in his throat as he watched the shadow above, knowing he should look away. The soft sound of metal—Luke opening his belt?—and finally the groan of the mattress as Luke climbed into bed.

  Whoa. Morgan’s heart was pounding and he felt even further away from sleep than before. As he watched the log consumed by licking gold flame, he decided he’d have to tell Luke that he was gay. Not because anything would happen between them, but because… he wanted Luke to know. He’d have to, if he was going to stay under Morgan’s roof.

  As his head fell back on the chair and he watched the play of light through half-closed eyes, Morgan wondered if that would drive the other man away.

  He hoped not, since despite his inconvenient attraction to Luke, which he would keep under wraps, he sincerely wanted to help him and Jessie.

  LUKE woke up when sunlight warmed the top of his head through the window. He blinked a moment, not sure where he was, but that was a familiar feeling for a wanderer like him.

  Then he sat up, panicked, and looked over at Jess.

  The baby was sleeping, one palm open near her head like a little, pale, open heart.

  Luke’s heart settled down, staring at her. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept this long. Maybe the constant travel from motel to motel had upset her, though Luke had had no choice.

  “I have coffee on,” Morgan called from the stairs in a very soft voice, obviously not wanting to wake Jessie.

  Luke carefully got up, pulling on his jeans over his boxers, and then, barefooted and -chested, and shivering a little from the slight chill, he walked over to the top of the stairs.

  Morgan’s blue eyes widened when he saw him and he immediately looked away. “I can bring it up so you can stay with Jessie.”

  “What time is it?” Luke asked, shoving his bed hair out of his eyes.

  “After nine.” Morgan looked a little smug when he met Luke’s gaze again briefly. “She slept well, mmmm?”

  “Better than she has since I got her,” Luke confessed with feeling. “And it sure did me a world of good.”

  “You do look better.” Again, Morgan cleared his throat.

  Then he suddenly blurted, “Luke, I’m gay.”

  Luke stared, not sure what to say. “Are you?” he finally replied.

  Color stung Morgan’s cheeks as he swallowed.

  Obviously, this was hard for the other man.

  “I just thought you should know,” Morgan said. “I don’t keep it a secret so folks in town know.”

  “Okay, then,” Luke said, still feeling blank. He guessed Morgan wanted him to know since they’d be living together.

  Uh, under the same roof, that was. “I’m sorry I slept so long. I wanted to get an early start… take a look at your roof.”

  Morgan breathed out a sigh. “No… worry over that later. When Jessie’s ready to eat, bring her to the kitchen, since Gena should be by soon. I know you’ll want to meet her. Oh, and the bathroom’s through the kitchen. There is a pack of fresh razors under the sink and lots of other stuff on hand if you need anything.”

  Morgan was still avoiding his eyes, but his shoulders had relaxed. He hesitated and then made to head back down the stairs.

  Luke called, “I don’t care.”

  “Excuse me?” Morgan’s blue eyes shot to Luke’s face.

  Luke swallowed. “I don’t care if you’re gay.” He ran his hands over his jeans in a nervous gesture. “Jessie slept through the night. Thank you.”

  Morgan’s face thawed. “I’m making scrambled eggs.”

  Chapter Three

  MORGAN’S housekeeper, Gena, had a curvaceous figure and bright red hair and green eyes, reminding Luke vaguely of a pretty Christmas ornament. In her thirties, she was normally Luke’s type for a one-nighter, though he felt nothing this morning other than relief that Jessie had experienced her first good night since he’d become her full-time father.

  Or maybe it wasn’t merely parenthood that had crushed his libido into the dust. Before he’d known Jessie existed, he’d been dissatisfied, restlessly searching for… something.

  He’d spent most of his life since he’d moved out from his former rodeo star father’s apartment wandering. The funny thing was that Luke had always wanted a home, a family, roots… but somehow no woman he met seemed like the person he’d been searching for.

  Now with Jessie on his hands, maybe it was better that he’d given up.
He didn’t have the time or freedom any more to meet someone special. And who would want a cowboy who had no money and a kid? At this point, he could barely afford to rent a DVD to watch with someone.

  So he ignored Gena’s speculative glances when Morgan first introduced her before the doc had headed into his clinic to see his morning patients.

  “You know Morgan’s gay, right?” she asked once they were alone in the kitchen. Jessie was in Luke’s arms, sleepy again from her breakfast. She was very relaxed under Morgan’s roof; in the past, when Luke would be pulling out of the parking lot of a motel at this time of the morning, she got fretful.

  “He told me.” Luke’s voice was a little chilly, like the autumn morning shining golden through the kitchen windows.

  “You disapprove?” Gena took a sip of her coffee, watching Luke.

  “No…. Not of him. I mean,” Luke sighed, wishing he was better with words, but he’d barely finished high school. “I just don’t feel comfortable with talking about him.”

  Gena’s face softened. “You’ve really taken to him.” She cleared her throat. “I mean, as a friend and employee, of course.”

  “Of course,” Luke echoed.

  “I’m glad. Morgan’s a really good man. I think he works too much because he’s lonely. Having a friend would be a good thing for him.”

  “It might be a good thing for me too,” Luke said with some feeling.

  “So Jessie’s mom just… dumped Jessie and ran?”

  “Pretty much. I woke up with a hangover and a baby on the bed next to me,” Luke remembered ruefully. “She did write me a note on how to take care of Jessie.”

  “That’s some morning after!” Morgan put in, coming into the kitchen to refill his coffee mug. He was wearing a medical coat, his brown hair still damp around his ears, Luke noticed. Well, they’d had to share the bathroom to shave since Luke had been out of shaving cream. It had been a bit strange to be in the same steamy space, both of them wearing towels around their waists, Jessie propped up with pillows at the bathroom door so Luke could keep an eye on her. Strange because he’d been wildly conscious of Morgan’s confession that he was gay. He’d scolded himself that it was no different from sharing space with a guy in the gym, but Luke found himself wondering if the other man might find him attractive.

  “It was definitely a morning after for the record books,”

  Luke agreed now, glad to push aside the unsettling thoughts of sharing a bathroom with Morgan. “But if I can just find regular work, I won’t complain.”

  “You know I’ll need a lot done around here, and I still want to talk about maybe fixing up the barn so I can keep a couple of riding horses,” Morgan said seriously. “But I know that Leif Gunnar is always looking for workers for his construction company, and Charlie LaFountaine runs a big spread not far from here. He also always needs good men.”

  Luke scratched his chin, considering. Suddenly, it seemed like he had options. “I’ll be happy to get started looking at your roof now. When do you want the barn rebuilt?”

  “Rebuilt? It’s that bad, huh?”

  “More than half of it is in fall-down shape,” Luke said.

  He looked down at his daughter and then over at Gena, who was sipping her coffee and listening silently to the conversation with interest. He bit his lip. “But I can repair the corral with fresh wood this week after a trip to the lumberyard.”

  “Look, why don’t you just keep coming in here to check on Jessie?” Morgan suggested, as if easily reading the unease in Luke’s gut. “Gena will watch her while she cleans the house and does some cooking, and I’ll be in and out. If you get a little worried, just leave what you’re doing and look in on her, and if she needs you, stay with her.”

  Luke’s throat tightened. He cleared it. “Thank you,” he said, liking Morgan more and more. The guy had to be crazy if he thought the fact he was gay was enough to drive Luke from staying here! Jessie liked this place. She was calmer.

  Had she been picking up on Luke’s growing depression and worry?

  “Do you mind if I keep her in my office for a little while?”

  Morgan asked, face softening as he reached out and gently brushed a finger against Jessie’s cheek. “I have some paperwork to do.”

  Luke lifted Jessie up and Morgan took her. “She really likes you,” Luke noted. It was stupid. Just yesterday he’d been thinking he’d have to give Jessie up, and now he felt a little anxious that someone else had her. He took a deep breath, reminding himself he wasn’t going far. He was going to work around the cabin today and check out the barn. If he could rig up something temporary for the corral, he’d shoot Sable out so the horse could get a little exercise.

  “You’re lucky to have her,” Morgan said.

  Lucky. Luke hadn’t felt that way since Jessie had come into his life. But maybe… yeah.

  MORGAN sat back in his office chair, hearing the clatter of a ladder just outside his window as Luke moved it into place to check the roof. He’d been at it for a while, with only two visits so far to check on Jessie, who was currently sleeping in the leather chair opposite Morgan.

  Luke appeared in the window just then, and his hazel eyes went to his daughter, so he missed the way Morgan’s hands clenched on his pen and he had to take a deep breath… because Luke had removed his shirt, and was wearing just worn blue jeans and cowboy boots and healthy sweat.

  Morgan forced himself to look away. Get a grip, Gallagher! He’d shared a bathroom with Luke just that morning. It had to be his kink for cowboys firing his response, and yet why was it that the more he saw him, the more attractive he seemed?

  Nope, it was becoming a kink for Luke Walker.

  “FINISHED your paperwork?” Luke climbed down the ladder to greet Morgan, who had Jessie on his lap as he sat on a log bench in the sunshine.

  “No, I just wanted to get out for a little while. Not too many nice days like this one before winter comes,” Morgan said. “And I think Jessie appreciates it too.”

  Luke lifted his white T-shirt and put it back on, feeling weirdly self-conscious with Morgan there. Why? But it felt like something was humming in the air. He used a corner of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face and caught Morgan looking at his stomach. He almost looked down at it himself to see what the other man was looking at.

  “Did you finish looking over the roof?” Morgan asked after he cleared his throat.

  “Yes sir. I think the bats are getting in through a hole near the fireplace. I can probably patch it, but you’ll need to replace the roof in a few years.”

  “But it’s all right for now?” Morgan looked relieved, which made sense with the work he wanted done on the outbuildings.

  “I think so. The woman who built this place knew what she was doing.”

  Morgan grimaced. “Better than me. I was hoping I’d get to see your horse.”

  Luke nodded. “I’m off to the barn now. I checked on Sable earlier, but if I can rig something up, I’d love to let him loose in the corral.”

  “I’ll help you,” Morgan offered. “I’ve had enough of sitting around for one morning; I like to keep in shape.”

  “You’re not bad for a doctor,” Luke said, taking his daughter.

  NOT bad? Did that mean that Luke thought Morgan was attractive? You really are a pathetic bastard, Morgan scolded himself.

  But it was Luke who brought it up. “Do you, uh, think I’m hot or something?”

  Morgan took a deep breath and then forced himself to meet Luke’s eyes. “Yes,” he said flatly.

  Luke’s hazel gaze considered him. “But that’s not why you offered me the job here.”

  “No,” Morgan said, disgust heavy in his tone. “I’d never….”

  Luke was nodding. “Didn’t think so.”

  BUT Luke found himself curious about the other man as they put Jessie down nearby and worked to lift some fallen logs to close off the corral temporarily. “What is it like, being gay?”

  “Challenging sometimes. M
y mom paid for medical school, since my father just about disowned me. I was lucky to have her. She worked two jobs to support me and my sister, managing to put us both through school.”

  “Do you see her and your sister often?”

  Morgan smiled. “Mom’s coming out for Christmas, I think. She thinks I work too hard. My sister Heather is a pediatrician, married about ten years now, so I don’t get to see her unless I visit Boston, usually.”

  “Your mom sounds like a neat lady.” Luke used a wooden mallet to hammer in a post, gathering his thoughts.

  “This is a nice spread you have here. A place with roots,”

  Luke praised.

  “That’s what I thought when I bought it. I always wanted a home and, uh, you know, someone to share it with,” Morgan finished awkwardly.

  “Are you dating someone?” Luke blushed when the question just blurted out. What the hell…? But he’d always been impulsive.

  “I do visit someone,” Morgan said. “He lives in a smaller town not too far from here, and we’ve been good friends for a while.”

  “Oh.” Luke closed his mouth, forcing himself not to ask any more questions. Geez! Morgan hadn’t been so probing about his love life, not that he had one anymore.

  “I go there for sex,” Morgan confessed baldly. He was flushing, but again he held Luke’s eyes, as if wanting him to get the message that Morgan wouldn’t be chasing after him.

  “Uh-huh,” Luke said. He took a deep breath, and then, suddenly, he had to go into the barn, because this conversation…. “Watch Jessie for a sec?” he rasped.

  He strode into the concealing shadows, seeing Sable raise his head. Soothed, he went to his horse, reaching out to stroke his dark head. He took a couple of deep breaths, his heart pounding.

  “Shit,” he muttered, wondering what had come over him.

  Chapter Four