Like Silk

by Mary Lynn Baxter

  “Wouldn’t have done any good,” Jackson countered. “I was too busy enjoying my private pity party.”

  Amazement filled Collier’s face. “Is this really my older brother talking? Sure sounds like a stranger to me.”

  Jackson gave Collier another sheepish grin, then muttered, “I knew you’d have a field day with this.”

  “You’re damn right, bro. You’ve put Dad and me through hell right along with you.”

  “It wasn’t that bad,” Jackson said in a huffy tone.

  “Worse.”

  They both laughed, and Collier thought he’d never heard such a great sound, especially coming from Jackson. He’d reached the conclusion he would never hear his brother laugh again.

  “So when’s the big day?” Collier asked.

  Jackson swallowed hard. “I…we haven’t gotten that far. I’m still struggling to come to grips with the fact that I accepted.”

  Collier was confused. “You accepted?”

  “Yeah. She asked me to marry her.”

  Collier laughed out loud again. “Figures.”

  “And wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

  “Shows she’s got good taste and good sense.”

  Jackson’s features suddenly turned bleak. “Actually I think she’s lost her mind. I’m still not upright. I still can’t walk.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I grieve over what happened to you every day. But like I’ve told you from the get-go, just because you’re in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you can’t have a life.”

  “You think you would react any differently?”

  Jackson’s blunt question threw him a sudden curve. “Maybe,” Collier said with a sigh. “And maybe not. Who knows? But that’s beside the point, because it wasn’t me.”

  “You’re right.”

  Not only was Collier still spinning from the news that his brother had wedding plans, but the fact they were having this personal conversation was even more astounding. No matter how hard he tried, he’d never been able to get Jackson to talk to him, to discuss his feelings following the accident. Ever since Jackson had come to in the hospital and found out his plight, he’d retreated inside himself and hadn’t come out. Until now.

  Bless Haley.

  “Do you think I’m a fool?”

  Collier blinked hard. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “You’re right, I did. But it’s the question I don’t understand.”

  “I keep asking myself why she’d want to saddle herself with a paraplegic when she’s so vibrant, so full of life. Hell, she could have any man she wants.”

  “She wants you,” Collier said in a matter-of-fact tone. “She always has.”

  “How would you know?”

  “Everyone knew but you. You broke her heart when you didn’t follow her and marry her.”

  “Did she tell you that?” Jackson shot back.

  “She didn’t have to. It was obvious.”

  “Except to me.” Jackson released a deep sigh. “I really fucked things up, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah,” Collier left it there.

  “But would she have stuck by me after my injury?”

  “What does it matter?” Collier asked, giving his brother’s rock-hard shoulder a squeeze before he walked to his desk and sat down. “Anyway that’s beside the point.”

  “You’re right.” A flicker of pain darted across Jackson’s face. “I still have a lot of demons pulling on me.”

  “Don’t we all?” Collier muttered, his mind returning to Rupert Holt and the confrontation facing him, a confrontation he was looking forward to. How dare that bastard hurt Brittany and think he would get away with it?

  “You’re thinking about Brittany, aren’t you?” Jackson asked.

  “Always,” Collier admitted before he thought.

  Jackson let out another sigh. “While I’m not overjoyed with the idea of you two together, I can live with it, especially now. And you’re right, just because her brother’s a piece of shit, that doesn’t mean she is.” He paused. “I think you love her.”

  Collier bolted out of his seat. “Hey, I don’t want to talk about me. This is your moment. You’re the one who’s getting hitched.”

  “Whoa, I told you, we’re not in any hurry.”

  Collier gave him a knowing grin. “Something tells me I’m not the one you have to convince of that.”

  Jackson’s face colored. “You’re right. She’s ready to just do it.”

  “I’m all for that. However, I suggest you tell Dad first.”

  “I also have to tell Dad something else. And you, too.”

  Collier raised his eyebrows and waited, holding his breath.

  “I intend to start practicing law again.”

  Thirty-Two

  How could he be envious of his brother?

  It didn’t make sense, but that was exactly how he was feeling. Suddenly Collier felt ashamed. He paused and stared down at his limbs. He had full use of his entire body. Nothing within reason was impossible for him to do. He didn’t have to depend on others to care for him. Not so with Jackson. He no longer had any of those luxuries, could no longer do the day-to-day things that most people took for granted, himself included.

  Collier realized his feelings made no sense, yet what did lately in his life? he asked himself, depression settling over him. Jackson finally seemed to have gotten his act together. While Collier was overjoyed and relieved about his brother’s returned confidence and good fortune, it was those factors that were the source of his own envy, deepening his shame.

  At the moment his life was in such an upheaval, he didn’t know which way to turn. He wanted Brittany, and he wanted the appointment to the bench. And he had no guarantees he would get either. If not, the blame for both failures would fall squarely on his shoulders. Problem was, if he pursued Brittany, it could cost him the bench and his father’s love and approval. If he didn’t, it could cost him his heart.

  “Shit,” he muttered, mentally kicking his own backside for letting his thoughts dwell on the negative. His mind was often his worst enemy. Today was one of those days. Besides, he had something more important on his agenda. Rupert Holt. He had vowed to confront him, and nothing was going to stop him. Brittany wouldn’t want him to, he knew that. But the idea of Rupert getting away with assaulting her or any woman couldn’t be tolerated.

  A solid confrontation with Rupert would help put things back in perspective for him.

  Peering at his watch, Collier saw he didn’t have much time. He was due in court posthaste. He stared at the phone. Maybe he would give Brittany a quick call, yearning for even the sound of her voice. He’d just lifted the receiver when he was interrupted.

  “Got a minute?”

  His heart sank. Darwin Brewster had once again taken the liberty of walking into his office uninvited. Something really should be done about the man’s cocksure attitude, and it appeared he was the only one willing to do it. Right now, however, Brewster was way down on his priority list, even though he got on his nerves big time.

  “A minute and not much more,” Collier finally said, his agitation up-front.

  That didn’t seem to bother Darwin, who promptly sat down and crossed one leg over the other knee as if he had all the time in the world. Collier’s temper shot up another notch. Maybe he’d have to move Brewster’s overdue attitude adjustment up on his priority list.

  “When am I going to get what’s coming to me?”

  Collier almost laughed at the irony of that question. But he kept a straight face in order to get this set-to over with. “I didn’t know you were due anything.” Cocky bastard, Collier wanted to add but didn’t.

  “My just deserts, I should say,” Darwin explained, when Collier held his silence.

  “Just deserts?” Collier scowled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, I think you do,” Darwin drawled.

  “Dammit, Brewster, I don’t have time to play games. Spit it out
or get out.”

  High color flooded Darwin’s face, and his eyes narrowed. “I’m tired of you treating me like I’m not fit to wipe your shoes on.”

  Collier expelled an impatient sigh. “Look, Brewster, I haven’t got time to dick around with you. I’m due in court.”

  “You still have a few minutes. What I have to say won’t take long.”

  Brewster’s gall continued to amaze Collier. What Mason saw in this man still remained a mystery. So what if he was a good attorney? So were a lot of others. They hadn’t been hired by the firm, something Collier knew was considered a high honor.

  “I’m listening,” Collier said tersely, deciding to let him have his say. Brewster wasn’t worth getting riled over.

  “You’re not fooling me.”

  Collier’s lips thinned. “My patience is fast running out, so you’d best get to what’s eating you.”

  “Maybe Mason didn’t tell you after all.”

  “Tell me what?” Collier spoke through clenched teeth.

  “About our deal.”

  “You’re right, he didn’t.” Collier’s tone was overtly hostile, but he didn’t care. The other man’s arrogance had finally pushed him over the edge.

  Brewster grinned and rubbed his mustache. “While I’m not sure I believe you, I’ll indulge you and fill you in.”

  “Please do.”

  Though he knew Brewster had picked up on his blatant sarcasm, it didn’t rattle him. He continued to milk the scenario for all it was worth. Curiosity was the only thing that kept Collier from forcing him out of his office.

  “Because of your brother’s accident, Mason and I have been joined at the hip.”

  “That’s a crock,” Collier said with a humorless laugh.

  “Hear me out and you won’t think so.”

  “You have five minutes.”

  Darwin grinned. “How ’bout some coffee?”

  Collier was looming over him before he realized it. “Listen, you little pissant, say what’s on your mind or get the hell out of my office. I don’t have my father’s patience for bloodsuckers like you.”

  Darwin’s color heightened and his grin fled. For a second Collier thought his words might incite a stroke as the veins in Darwin’s temples bulged.

  “When you hear what I have to say, you won’t be so goddamned full of yourself.”

  Collier looked at his watch. “Four minutes.”

  “Once Mason learned that Jackson would never walk again, he called and asked to see me.” Brewster paused, as if waiting for that to jell in Collier’s mind.

  “So?” Collier forced himself to speak in an even tone, though his stomach was tied in knots.

  “He was a man on a mission, and since I was Rogers’ court appointed attorney, he saw me as his missionary.”

  Collier felt a sense of uneasiness, but he tried not to give in to it, determined not to rile himself more than he already was. Still…

  “Yeah, we met for dinner out of town, and your old man promised me the moon and even some stars if I’d do him a favor.”

  “What favor?” Collier didn’t really care, having decided Darwin was merely jerking his chain and enjoying it to the hilt. No longer. What little patience he’d had was gone.

  “First off, Mason promised a paid honeymoon cruise for me and my fiancée, whom I no longer have, by the way.” He smiled. “However, if and when I marry, I’m going to hold Mason’s ass to the fire about that trip.”

  “Good,” Collier said in an uninterested tone, picking up his briefcase and walking from behind his desk. He’d had it with Brewster and his shit.

  “Whoa, hold your horses,” Darwin said. “I’ve saved the best for last.”

  Collier kept on walking toward the door.

  “He also promised me a junior partnership in his firm.”

  Collier stopped abruptly, feeling the hair stand up on the back of his neck. He whipped around. “You’re a lying bastard.”

  “Ask him,” Darwin said with easy confidence.

  Collier laughed mirthlessly. “I’d just be wasting my time and his.”

  Darwin’s features turned menacing. “The cruise and the partnership were my prizes for doing a half-assed job of defending Tommy Rogers, for suppressing evidence.” He paused again, that sly grin making an encore appearance.

  Collier stopped midstride and cringed inwardly. He should have seen the knockout blow coming, but he hadn’t. Too bad. Darwin had just stepped over the line.

  He swung back around, his nostrils flared. “By the time I get back from court, your desk drawers had better be empty.”

  With that, he jerked open the door.

  Behind him, Darwin snorted. “That’s not going to happen. You see, I don’t take orders from you. Mason’s calling the shots.”

  Brittany hated waiting for the knock on the door, for the phone to ring. She hated living that way. But with Collier still keeping their affair in the closet, that was the way it was.

  It had only been two days since they’d made love, but he hadn’t called. She tried not to let that fact upset her, yet it did. She hated that weakness in herself, hated the way she let Collier use her. Suddenly she felt a prick of conscience. Wasn’t she using him, too, in her own way? Of course she was. She could have ended this affair long ago, only she hadn’t wanted to.

  And while she probably loved Collier, even though she wasn’t ready to admit that even to herself, love couldn’t bridge the wide gulf between them. She knew that, and so did he. Why couldn’t he have been an ordinary man? Why couldn’t he have been an accountant instead of an affluent attorney with political aspirations? Why? Why? Why?

  Swallowing a sigh, Brittany forced herself off the sofa and headed for the bedroom to freshen up. It was time for her to head for the prison to see Tommy, a trip she especially dreaded today, certain he would ask her if she’d used her sexual wiles to cajole Collier into helping to free him.

  When she told him no, which she would, a row would ensue. Even so, she had no choice but to face him and get it behind her.

  Halfway there, she heard the knock. Her pulse quickened, and her heart pounded. Collier? Oh Lord, she hoped so. Feeling as though her feet had wings, she rushed to the door and opened it.

  Her breath congealed in her lungs.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” Rupert said, shivering from the chill in the air.

  “How dare you come to my house?”

  “Let me in.”

  Despite feeling the cold in her bones, Brittany stepped onto the rickety porch and slammed the door behind her. “No.”

  Rupert let go an expletive, then said in a low, threatening tone, “I’d hate to make a scene out here.”

  Although she didn’t believe he’d follow through with his threat, she couldn’t be sure, not when she smelled liquor on his breath. Still, she hesitated, fear rendering her useless for a moment.

  “Go ahead and make a scene,” she said suddenly, that same fear giving her the strength to call his hand. She refused to be alone with him again, especially in her own home. “You have more to lose than I do. The neighbors are quite nosy. I’m sure your wife doesn’t know you’re here.”

  “Good try, but it won’t work. You see, I don’t give a tinker’s damn about what my wife thinks.”

  She sensed he was blustering, that he did care, but she wasn’t about to argue with him. “Go away, Rupert.”

  “There’s still Tommy, remember?”

  Her eyes flared. “You can’t hurt him anymore, either. With him being locked up, we’re both living our worst nightmare.” She paused, shivering, though she wasn’t sure from what—the cold wind or his foul breath.

  “You’re wrong there, sweetheart, but I was hoping it wouldn’t come down to that. You see, I’d much rather help your brother than hurt him. I’m just waiting for the green light from you to go forward.”

  “Is that why you came here?”

  “That, and to see you, to make sure you were all right and didn’t need anyth
ing.”

  Brittany stiffened, instinct telling her there was more to this visit than met the eye. Rupert was taking an awful chance by being seen here. Surely he didn’t know she’d ratted on him to Collier. If so, he wouldn’t be so pleasant. Still, she deeply regretted telling Collier about Rupert.

  “Well, you’ve accomplished your goal. I’m all right, and I don’t need anything, so I’m going back inside.”

  “Whoa.” He grabbed her arm.

  She shook it off, fighting panic. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

  Rupert muttered another expletive. “I’m fast losing my patience with you. One of these days you’re going to push me too far.”

  “Leave me alone, Rupert. Please,” she said in a trembling voice.

  “I can’t, and I refuse to accept that you want me to.”

  Trying to reason with him, to make him face the truth, was a lost cause, a waste of her time. She didn’t know if the alcohol or his hardheadedness was responsible for her inability to get through to him. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was getting rid of him.

  “When I get Tommy out of the pen, then you’ll change your mind,” he said, breaking the silence. “Meanwhile, you be good and stay out of trouble.”

  Another chill shook her, this time from the underlying message behind his smooth words. He was warning her again to keep her mouth shut or else. For a moment she wished Collier would play the knight in shining armor and ride to her defense. But she knew that wasn’t going to happen, even though his outrage had been sincere. To confront Rupert on her behalf would put him in a perilous position concerning his bid for the bench. Collier wasn’t about to put himself out on that kind of a limb.

  Besides, Rupert was her problem, her fight. She had to take care of him herself. “Don’t ever come here again, Rupert.” Her voice was more frigid than the wind.

  He stared at her for a long moment, then smirked. “You’re in no position to tell me that, darling.” He paused. “If I were you, I’d keep that in mind, knowing that if I choose to, I can make your life even more difficult than it already is.” He ran a finger down one side of her cheek.