The Romance of Nick and Layla (Parts 1-3)

by Cierlak, Crystal

  "You could have started with, ‘Good morning Nick. By the way we got married last night!’"

  "We don’t even know if we did! There was no marriage certificate, I’m the only one with a ring on that finger and neither of us remember anything that happened, short of your possible multiple orgasm! So excuse me if I wasn’t leaping with held-breath to give you the scoop! How the hell was I supposed to say anything when I didn’t know anything?!"

  "Because you knew it might have happened!"

  "It might not have!"

  "But it might have Layla! We could be married right this minute!"

  "Well it’s not like I’m in love with the idea."

  "That’s not even the issue right now!"

  "No, the issue is finding out whether or not any of this is true. David is making calls right now to find out the validity of our impending marital status. He says that if we are married then we have pretty good chance of getting it annulled because of the fact that we were obviously drunk."

  "I’m sorry, did you say we could get an annulment?"

  "Do you see another possible way out of this mess?"

  "Layla I’m not upset that we’re possibly married!"

  "Well excuse me for thinking that you shouting at me implied otherwise!"

  "I’m not shouting at you because of that. I’m pissed that you didn’t tell me!"

  "I really had no clue what I would have even said given the fact that I have no fucking clue what’s going on!"

  "Well you should have told me!"

  "What do you want me to do Nick? Do you want me to apologize? Would that really make you feel any better?"

  "No! Not really!"

  "Well then shut up about it already! Can’t you see that I have enough things to worry about right now? If we aren’t married, which is probably true, then all we have to do is forget about it."

  "And what if we are married?"

  "Then we’ll get it annulled."

  "What?!"

  "I had no intention of marrying you, Nick!"

  "Well obviously, you did."

  "Look, it takes two people to get married! I wasn’t the only person there, you know! And I don’t even need a hangover to know that I was drunk beyond all comprehension. These pictures are all the proof I need! I mean look at me! My boob is hanging out! It’s not just some fucking wardrobe malfunction! This is me being totally out of control! This could ruin my life!"

  "Why because you married me?"

  "No! Because I am not this person! And this one mistake is going to follow me around wherever I go now! I don’t want that kind of pressure on me, Nick!" I picked up the magazine and flipped through it. "Oh look, here’s one of us making out with our hands all over each other. Think we should have that one framed? Or how about this one where your hand is up my dress, I think we should get double prints on that. What a beauty! Maybe I should send this to my mom. But no, she’s probably already seen it along with half of the fucking world by now!"

  "I get your point, Layla."

  "Well you can take it and shove it right up your ass, Nick!"

  "Why the hell are you freaking out like this?"

  "Because we could be married!"

  "So what? Really? So the fuck what? We both love each other, why can’t we be married?"

  "We’ve already been married you half-twit! Which is why we got divorced!"

  "No, you’re the one that wanted the divorce. I only signed the fucking thing because I knew it was what you wanted."

  "Exactly! So why are you pushing this on me? Obviously I don’t want to be married to you, Nick!"

  Oh God. He looked so hurt. And I can’t take it back. "Oh, but it’s okay to love me as long as you don’t have to be with me for as long as we both shall live?"

  "That’s not what I meant."

  "Then what did you mean, Layla? I’m good enough for you to fuck but not good enough of a man to be your husband?"

  "You’re putting words in my mouth!"

  "I don’t have to put words in your mouth, they’re coming out all on their own. How the hell can you say you love me but be disgusted by the fact that we might be married?"

  "Because we aren’t ready to be married! We weren’t even ready when we got married for sobbing out loud! And obviously getting married while drunk in fucking Las Vegas, of all places, shows a complete lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage as it stands! Not to mention a lack of respect for ourselves!"

  "We may not be ready to be married but obviously we’re meant to be together!"

  "This is not a solid argument for the validity of our relationship Nick!"

  "Then how do you explain why we keep coming back together? What’s your bullshit excuse for that question, huh?"

  "We were drunk!" I screamed at him. "We don’t even remember leaving California!"

  "So maybe it was meant to be that way?"

  "Right, because it’s such a fucking cute story to tell Tyler some day!"

  "Don’t do that. Don’t use our son as an excuse!"

  "Well it’s true!"

  "Why don’t you just admit to the fact that you’re scared?"

  "Fine. I’m scared. I’m scared that we have made the biggest mistake of our lives!"

  He caught his breath and again, he looked so hurt. He looked away from me and I could swear I saw tears forming in his eyes. "Is that all I am to you? One mistake after another?" He couldn’t even look at me. "That’s all I’ve ever meant to you, isn’t it? Just some fucking mistake you couldn’t escape from."

  "No! That’s not it at all!"

  "No, it’s fine. I understand completely now. You were just with me out of obligation. Or something. Because we have a son. God, that’s probably the biggest let down of them all, isn’t it Layla? That you had my child and now you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life."

  "Would you stop it?! That’s not how I feel at all!"

  "It’s what you said!" He finally did look at me and made no attempt to hide his tears. "All these years you said you were still in love with me. You were just playing the part."

  Now I was crying. "I do love you Nick."

  "How could you? How could you possibly love me, Layla? I’m just the mistake that won’t leave your life. Right?"

  "No! I mean, yes, we made mistakes but you are not a mistake, Nick. I’ve always been with you because it’s what I want. Not because I felt it was the right thing to do."

  "But you can’t even be married to me?"

  "If we were ready to be married I would love to be your wife!"

  "I really have to wonder, Layla... if you’d ever be ready."

  My phone rang. "It’s David."

  "Go ahead."

  "Hello?" I asked as I answered it. "I’m talking to him right now..... Well, is it true? Are Nick and I married?..... I see.... No. I can’t talk about that right now.... I know.... I’ll be there as soon as I can. Okay. Bye."

  "Well?" Nick asked me. "Did you get the answer you were hoping for?"

  "Nick..."

  "Don’t bother. I’ll pack up my stuff and leave tonight."

  "Nick..."

  "Just... don’t say anything Layla. I won’t make the mistake of bothering you again."

  "We’re married."

  Chapter Forty-Five

  "What?"

  "I said, we’re married."

  "We’re married?"

  "It happened at the Little White Chapel at 2:36 this morning. The marriage license says it all. David‘s expecting the license to arrive via fax any moment now."

  "Wow. You and I are married. Again. It’s what I’ve been wanting and you look like you just found out you have an incurable disease."

  "Don’t do that."

  "Don’t do what, Layla? Tell the truth? So let me guess, the reason you’re going in is to draw up annulment papers?"

  "Nick."

  "Don’t. You know what I find hard to believe? That twenty-four hours ago you were holding my hand and telling me you loved me and now, after
one night, you can’t even look at me."

  "I didn’t want this to happen. Not like this."

  "Right, I forgot. You wanted to make sure we were ready. Yet we find ourselves married. How ironic."

  "David’s waiting for me in his office."

  "If you go through with this Layla.... If you have this marriage annulled.... That’s it. No more chances. I will never speak to you again."

  "That’s not fair, Nick!"

  "What’s not fair?"

  "This! This stupid ultimatum you’re giving me! That if I terminate this marriage you’ll never speak to me again but if I stay married to you..."

  "Then what? You’d have to be married to someone you love? How tragic! Let me play my fucking violin for you!"

  "That’s not what I mean! You’re giving me the all-or-nothing ultimatum when we specifically agreed that we’d take things as they come!"

  "We’re a little past taking things as they come Layla! We’re married!"

  "I know we are!"

  "So what is going through your head? You’ll have it annulled and then we’ll go on holding hands and maybe in twenty five years you might be ready to be happy to be my wife?"

  "As opposed to you threatening our whole entire relationship if I don’t continue to be your wife in a marriage that neither one of us remembers having?"

  "I may not remember last night but I do remember the first time we got married. I remember how happy we were at the thought of spending the rest of our lives together. You’re the one that wants to keep me at arms-distance! I’m giving you everything I am as a man and yet you’re still only giving me a conditional relationship!"

  I heard Tyler crying from the living room. He must have woken up from Nick and me screaming at each other. I watched as Nick rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. I was alone. A moment later Tyler stopped crying. I looked down at the ring on my finger and couldn’t find one thought to make complete sense in my head. I looked up as Nick re-entered the bedroom with an upset Tyler in his arms.

  "Is this really what you want to give up? Your family? Or can you possibly try to get past your own insecurities and for just once, give this relationship a real, fighting chance?"

  "It should have been different, Nick."

  "Well it wasn’t different. This is the way it happened. You may not be able to accept it, but it happened."

  "I can’t be with you like this. But I can’t lose you either."

  "Well you’re going to have to make that choice Layla. Whether you like it or not."

  "That’s not fair."

  "No. It’s reality."

  "Layla?"

  I was sick at hearing the sound of my own name. I looked up at David Waterhouse and didn’t have a clue what was going on. Everything was such a mess.

  "I took the liberty of drawing up both legal documents for you. A prenuptial agreement, one almost exactly like the one drawn up when you and Nick first got married, if you decide you want to stay married. And an annulment, should you decide to terminate the marriage."

  I looked at both documents sitting on the table in front of me. One would mean I was married to Nick and that, despite the fact that I didn’t want to be his wife again, just yet, I would have him in my life. The other would mean I would never see him again. And because of one night where Nick and I lost control of our senses and better judgment I was now the one having to pay the price. When all it was originally meant to be was dinner and a fun night out. Here I was, faced with the biggest decision of my life.

  "You can take all the time you need. But I have to advise you that the longer you wait to make a decision, the smaller your window of opportunity is going to become."

  I picked up the pen in front of me, then slid the document on the left to my direct line of vision. I signed my name and stopped after I had crossed the last two Ts. Did I just sign my life away?

  "Nick will have to sign them as well. I’m sure he’ll want his attorney present so we’ll set up a meeting first thing Monday morning to get this filed. And... For what it’s worth, I’m sorry."

  I looked up at David Waterhouse and felt the color draining from my face. "So am I."

  The sky had grown dark by the time I pulled the car into the garage. I had forgotten that it was now fall and, though the California landscape gave no indication of it, the seasons had undoubtedly changed. A cold breeze hit me as I stepped out of the car and I felt myself shuddering.

  So much had happened in the days since I picked Nick up at the airport. My life and the decisions I had made more or less seemed to morph into a tornado, completely destroying everything in its path. The movers were due in the morning to pack up my beautiful house in Santa Monica and move everything to Calabasas.

  My whole life had changed in a matter of days and with my signature on a piece of paper, it was about to be cemented. This is not how I imagined my life to be.

  But this was my life, regardless of how I ever imagined it to be. Everything was different now. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. So I’d just have to accept it and move on.

  I closed the front door and found Nick in the bedroom. He was packing.

  "I have a plane ticket waiting for me at the airport and a taxi is on its way. I’m leaving."

  He didn‘t even look at me as he spoke to me. "Nick..."

  "I have nothing else to say to you."

  "Stop packing."

  "Why? Just give me the papers and I’ll sign them. Then you’ll never hear from me again."

  "That won’t be necessary."

  "Those are the annulment papers in your hand, aren‘t they? What’s not necessary? I’m giving you exactly what you want."

  "These aren’t annulment papers."

  "Oh, let me guess.. Your lawyer will give them to my lawyer?"

  "No."

  "Well you can have them delivered wrapped up in a box for all I care."

  "It’s a prenuptial agreement."

  "What?" He stopped packing and finally looked up at me.

  "It’s a prenuptial agreement. You can read it yourself but it basically says that everything we come into the marriage with is our own and everything we earn throughout our marriage remains ours individually. I’m not entitled to anything that belongs to you, including your assets and property. And you aren’t entitled to mine. Anything we purchase together belongs to each of us fifty-fifty."

  "I don’t understand."

  "Then your lawyer can explain it to you."

  "No, that’s not what I meant. I thought you were having our marriage annulled?"

  "Well, I’m not."

  "Why?" His voice was broken with emotion and his face looked strained.

  "Does it matter?"

  "Yes."

  "Well then let me put it in your own words: I’m giving you what you want. Besides," I had to look away from him. I didn’t want him to see me cry. "Besides I don’t want to lose you."

  "Layla..."

  "David wants to release a statement to the press as soon as possible. Although we don’t technically have to."

  "Layla..."

  "What?"

  "I.... I don’t know what to say."

  I turned and looked at him. "You have everything you want now. What more could you say?"

  He didn’t say anything.

  "The movers will be here in the morning. I’m going to bed." Without saying anything else I grabbed a pillow from the bed and left the room.

  I slept on the couch that night.

  Epilogue

  It seemed to be my lot in life to be Nick Hudson's wife, the first time willingly but in secret, and the second time accidentally and very publicly. What had become painfully and embarrassingly clear to me was that I was not the changed woman I thought myself to be. For as much as I waxed philosophical about how becoming a mother had changed me I was still the same stupid, silly Layla that fell back into the same stupid, silly patterns. I wasn't changed. Nor was I setting a good example for my son.

  It was
time to grow up.

  For all we talked about giving Tyler a "normal" life we were the least normal people possible; we were too fucked up. But our son was a constant that would not change so we have to be the ones that do. If we want to give him any bit of the life we so desire for him then we have to stop being so damn selfish, so petty and manipulative, and start being the version of ourselves we set out to be.

  Nick and I have been through more ups and downs than most couples, and at every sign of impending trouble one of us would react the wrong way and make matters worse. That isn't how any relationship should work and was a sign that Nick and I were never responsible enough to get married in the first place.

  But we are married. Again. Married, divorced, and married a second time to the same man in just five years and I was only 25 years old.

  I just have to face the fact that Nick and I are never going to be the version of normal that we put up on a pedestal, and to even try to achieve such an insurmountable goal is crazy. We needed to get real.

  I know the path before us won't be easy and there will be times when we want to quit again. Tyler should matter more to us than that, and truth be told we should matter to each other more than that.

  So, though it wasn't ideal and changes everything yet again, Nick and I are married and this time we'll need to fight to make it work. No more walking away.

  Maybe this time love will be enough.

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  Damaged, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part Four)

  Available now on Amazon!

  As a young girl I looked at my parents as the standard of quality life. They were the shining example of what a healthy relationship - a healthy marriage - should be, should look like. They were on the happier side of the divorce demographic, the 50% that didn’t end in dissolution of a partnership, of a life. They were in love. They lived, laughed, and loved, and even sometimes fought. What couple doesn’t fight? I knew from an early age they would be my guiding light of how to navigate the sometimes-complicated waters of being in a relationship.