Christmas

by Emily Harvale

  Kyra burst out laughing. 'A few women who weren't wearing knickers have mentioned that before, were you going to say?'

  Cat dashed up the stairs as fast as the tight skirt of her dress would let her.

  'Let's just say, it's been brought to my attention before, that some women might not like them,' Amias said, following closely behind Cat.

  'I like them,' Cat mumbled. 'I've always liked glass stairs.'

  'Are you discussing those bloody awful stairs?' A stunning woman who looked so much like Amias that you would know she was his sister even if you didn't know he had one, greeted them at the top, grinning broadly. 'Hello, Cat. You're looking lovely. It's been years since I last saw you. I don't think you've changed a bit. And this must be Kyra. I've heard so much about you from Amias. And he's right. You do look just like your dad. Sorry. I'm Natalia. It's great to finally meet you. Oh, and this is my husband, Josh.' She hugged both Cat and Kyra as she spoke, before they had a chance to say a word.

  'Hi,' Josh said, clearly unsure of what he was supposed to do. He hung back a little and smiled.

  'Natalia. It's so good to see you again. You've certainly changed. I think you still had pigtails the last time I saw you. You've grown into a beautiful young woman. And Josh. You're as handsome as we all knew you'd be. Listen to me. I sound as if I am so much older than the pair of you when in reality, I think there's only about four or five years between us.'

  'Four between us,' Josh said. 'Five between you and Natalia. Would you mind if I gave you a hug?' He threw an odd look at Amias as if he was trying to tell him something.

  'No. I don't mind at all.'

  Cat held out her arms and Josh gave her a brief hug. He gave Kyra an even briefer hug.

  'You definitely do look like Kyle,' he said, smiling at Kyra. 'But you've got Cat's eyes and her smile, I think.'

  'That'll be quite enough of that.' Natalia grabbed his arm and linked hers through it, laughing. 'Not that I'm a possessive shrew or anything, you understand, Kyra. But girls as gorgeous as you give us oldies pause for thought. And my husband used to have the biggest crush imaginable on your mum, when we were young.'

  Josh went bright red. 'I did not! She's teasing. Oh. Not that you weren't really pretty, Cat, because you were. And I may have said so once or twice. But I've only ever had eyes for Nat and she knows it.'

  Natalia winked. 'That's true. I do. That's why I married him. I couldn't let the poor man pine away for me all his life, could I, Amias?'

  Amias narrowed his eyes a fraction before a smile crept onto his lips. 'No, sister dear. You couldn't. Let's go into the lounge. I'll get Cat and Kyra some drinks and then, perhaps, you could give me a quick hand in the kitchen? Cat, would you like wine? Or something else? And Kyra? What can I get for you?'

  'We'll both have wine, please,' Cat said. 'Red, if that's OK.' She followed Natalia from the spacious hall into a massive room.

  'And Mum can give you a hand if you like,' Kyra offered. 'She's really good in the kitchen.'

  A gasp escaped Cat. At the same time, a snort of laughter burst from Natalia, who turned it into an odd little cough.

  Something strange was going on tonight. Cat was certain of it. She glared at Kyra before darting a look at Amias. He appeared almost terrified.

  'Oh. Er. That's kind. But I'm cooking one of Natalia's recipes so I really need her to check I've got it right.'

  He walked towards what looked like a large cocktail cabinet and opened a folding door. One side of the cabinet held a shelf stacked with various bottles of spirits and liqueurs with a rack of wine beneath; a central part was shelves and hanging sections for a variety of glasses and the third part was actually a fridge. He took a bottle of red wine from the rack and an open bottle of white wine from the fridge.

  'I thought you said we were just having pasta and wine,' Kyra said. 'That's what you told Mum.'

  'We are. But with a sauce Natalia makes.' He handed the open bottle to Josh.

  'I'm sure Cat will be able to tell you if it's good or not,' Natalia said, grinning. 'And she may be able to make some suggestions to improve your skills, um, in the kitchen. Don't be shy, Amias. I'm sure she won't mind if your kitchen's in a bit of a mess.'

  He removed the cork from the bottle of red, retrieved two wine glasses from the cabinet, and having filled them, handed one each to Cat and Kyra.

  'But Cat's a guest and it's not polite to ask guests to help you cook.'

  'Mum doesn't mind at all. Do you, Mum?'

  'Clearly, Amias doesn't want me in the kitchen.'

  'He wants you anywhere he can get you,' Natalia said. 'Whoops. Did I just say that out loud? Sorry. Um. It was just a friendly joke.'

  'Excuse Natalia, Cat.' Amias looked less than pleased. 'Her sarcasm and humour aren't for everyone. Sometimes she forgets that.'

  'He's right. I do. And he's also right about not asking guests to help, so I'll give him a hand. You and Kyra can stay here and admire the view. And I don't mean Josh. I mean the view of the bay and the village.' She nodded towards a row of four sets of French windows along the facing wall which also had a sizeable raised fireplace and brick hearth at its centre. 'There's a large balcony outside, but it's a bit too cold to sit out there tonight.'

  Cat turned and looked at Amias.

  'You built the balcony? And the terrace from the kitchen? Do you have that too?'

  He nodded. A little sadly perhaps. 'Yes. The kitchen is downstairs opposite the front door and the terrace wraps around three sides of the house and into the cliff. There's a snug in which to curl up and watch the sunset on cold winter nights if you don't want to be up here, a study from where you can watch the sunrise, the kitchen, which due to its position jutting out as a wide triangle, benefits from both sunrise and sunset, and a utility room, a shower and loo on that floor.'

  Cat stared at him for a moment or two.

  'That all sounds very familiar. Is that why you didn't want me to see it?'

  He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, giving a little laugh as he did so.

  'No. That's not what that was about. That was something else entirely. But anyway, the house is a little different for practical purposes. There's access to the beach with wooden steps down from the terrace to the sand. And I'm happy for you and Kyra to see it. I'm happy for you to see anything you want. You can go over the entire house from top to bottom. In fact, I hope you do. I'd like to know what you think.'

  'I think I should charge you commission.' Her tone reflected her mood. She was more than a little upset.

  'What's going on?' Kyra asked.

  'Yes,' Natalia added. 'I'd quite like to know what this conversation is about.'

  Amias took a small breath, shook his head and forced a smile. 'Basically, the design of my house is very similar to one that Cat sketched many years ago.'

  'Of my dream home.'

  He met her eyes and nodded.

  'Of your dream home.'

  'Wow,' Kyra said. 'You both wanted the same dream home. That must mean something.'

  'It means we spent far too much time daydreaming,' Cat said. 'And look where that got us.'

  'Mum. You're not cross because Amias built your dream home, are you?'

  Cat shook her head. 'I'm very surprised. At the time, I seem to remember you criticised it quite a lot.' She narrowed her eyes at Amias.

  He shrugged. 'You're right. I did. I was an idiot. I did make a few changes though. Especially in the master bedroom.'

  'What? Did you add mirrors to the ceiling? And a secret passage so that you could escape whenever you wanted?'

  'Mum!'

  'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it.'

  Amias scanned her face. 'That's OK, Cat. As I said. I was an idiot back then.'

  'Well,' Natalia said, grabbing Amias by the arm. 'We'd better get to the kitchen before something boils over. Josh, darling, keep Cat and Kyra entertained, will you please?'

  'Er.' Josh looked confused, as if he had no idea
what was going on. 'Of course.'

  Amias glanced at Cat as he allowed himself to be led towards the stairs.

  'What the hell was that about, Mum?' Kyra demanded, completely ignoring the fact that Josh was there.

  Cat walked over to one of the sets of windows and peered out across the bay. The view was spectacular. Miles and miles of sea and sky; the lights from the village; the darkness of the surrounding countryside, a few houses dotted here and there, apparent from sporadic single lights; the moon and the stars beyond. All, just as she had imagined it, when she had drawn the sketch of her dream home all those years ago.

  'It was about the fact that our dreams are dangerous things, Kyra. We need to share them with people who will keep them safe. Not with people who will steal them away from you without you even realising.'

  Kyra came and stood beside her, lowering her voice so that only Cat could hear.

  'Are you actually saying that you think Amias has stolen the plans for your dream home? And you're annoyed with him for that?'

  Cat shook her head. 'No. He's stolen my dreams and made them his. But he hasn't included me. And somehow, that's the worst betrayal of all.'

  Chapter Four

  'OK,' Natalia said, as she and Amias walked into his kitchen. 'Would you like to tell me what just happened?'

  Amias shook his head. 'I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I know. But I do know one thing. There is absolutely no point in me trying to get Cat alone tonight, and definitely not in telling her how I feel or asking if I can even hold her hand, let alone kiss her. I saw the look in her eyes just now. It's a look I've seen before. Several times, in fact. Lorna had the same look on her face the evening she threw the glass of wine in mine. And I've seen it on the faces of a few women before her, when I've ended things with them. It's a look of disappointment. Disillusionment. Dislike.'

  'Why? You've done nothing to disappoint Cat tonight. Is this about some sketch she drew one hundred or so years ago?'

  He smirked. 'Nineteen years ago, to be precise. Shortly after she started dating Kyle. And yes. I think it's about the sketch. I loved that house she sketched, but like the jerk I was back then, I criticised all of it. I didn't want her to know that she had just drawn the house of my dreams. Only the gold star version, not the crappy one I'd envisioned. And she was dating Kyle. How could I say, “God, Cat. I want to live in that house. I want to live in that house with you. I want us to sit on that terrace and watch the sunset. And to lie in bed with you in the morning and look up into the skylight and watch dark blue turn to gold as the sun rises in the East.” That would've gone down really well.'

  'If you'd said that back then, I would've thought you'd hit your head. “Dark blue turn to gold,” indeed.' Natalia tutted and rolled her eyes. 'But I still don't see the problem. Surely she should be thrilled that you loved her sketch so much you used it to build your dream home?'

  He nodded. 'I stupidly thought she would be. But she's not. Far from it. I think she feels betrayed or something. Almost as if I've ripped the world from under her feet. I don't know. I could ask her, I suppose. But I don't think I'd like the answer. I'm sorry, Natalia. But it looks like I'm going to be pining for a whole lot longer. Perhaps for the rest of my life.'

  Natalia slapped him on the arm. 'Don't be so bloody melodramatic. If you're going to let some stupid sketch get in the way of telling the woman you love that you love her, then frankly, you deserve to spend the rest of your life pining. Don't be a jerk. Talk it over with her. Discuss it. Have a conversation. That's what grown-ups do.'

  'I don't know. Where would I start?'

  'At the beginning, you plonker. That first day you saw her on the beach. Start from there.'

  'OK. But not tonight. It just doesn't feel right.'

  'You know what? I'm beginning to think you don't really love her at all. Not the real her. I think you're in love with a fantasy. Of some dream you had half a lifetime ago. Because if you really did love her, you wouldn't keep making excuses. Last night was too perfect. Tonight doesn't feel right. Sometimes you've just got to take a chance. And if you're not going to do that, Amias, then there's really no point. Think about that. But in the meantime, add some oregano to that sauce, and a smattering of paprika and let's get this dinner started. Somehow I don't think it's going to be the fun evening we were all hoping for.'

  Amias frowned. 'Fine. Wait. How do you know it needs oregano and paprika? You haven't even tasted it.'

  Natalia tutted again. 'I don't need to taste it. I know you. Do as I say. I'll grab the plates from the warming rack and the garlic bread from the oven. Is the salad in your snazzy cooler?'

  'Yes. I'll bring that.'

  He added the oregano and paprika to the sauce and stirred it well before mixing it with the pasta he was draining when Cat and Kyra had arrived. He and Natalia filled separate trays with plates, cutlery, pepper and salt grinders, a bowl of grated Parmesan, a bowl of sliced jalapeno chilli peppers, a mixed green salad and a sliced raw onion and tomato salad.

  'I think that's everything.'

  'Perhaps you should slice up your heart and serve that on a platter.' Natalia gave him a playful nudge. 'Come on. Smile. Put on a brave face. You can do this.'

  'Yeah. What's one more night after eighteen years' worth of nights?'

  They took the food upstairs and Amias was relieved to see that Cat, Kyra and Josh seemed to be having a friendly discussion and that Cat was smiling again.

  'Dinner's ready,' Natalia said, nodding her head in the direction of the dining room which was next door to the lounge.

  Cat met Amias' eye but she quickly looked away. She followed Kyra into the dining room and stood behind a seat as far away from Amias as she could get, he noticed. As if she hadn't made her point so unmistakably already.

  Amias took the red wine he had decanted earlier, and the white he had placed in the ice bucket on the table and offered them to his guests. Natalia and Josh were both drinking white this evening so he passed them the bottle and the ice bucket and they served themselves. He poured red for Cat, Kyra and himself.

  'It's a casual evening, so help yourselves to the food, or I'll serve if you prefer.'

  'No thanks.' Natalia threw him a grin. 'I've seen your portions. No pun intended.' She winked at him. 'We'll help ourselves. You're OK with that aren't you, Cat?'

  'Yes. That's fine.'

  'So,' Amias said, desperate to get Cat to look at him. 'Mary is engaged. I must admit, I didn't see that coming.'

  'Mary's engaged?' Natalia looked astonished. 'Since when?'

  'Since last night,' Cat replied. 'She told us this morning. Jeremy went to London today to buy the ring.'

  'He proposed without a ring?' Josh was clearly surprised.

  'It was a spur of the moment thing,' Kyra said. 'And quite romantic, considering.'

  'Considering what?' Natalia asked.

  'Considering it was Jeremy.'

  They all grinned, apart from Cat. Amias watched her for a moment until she looked up and saw him staring.

  'How do you feel about it?' He had to think of something quickly. 'I mean, it is a bit sudden, isn't it?'

  'Just because you don't believe in love, Amias, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Some people fall in love very quickly. Some people fall in love at first sight.'

  'Wait. What makes you think I don't believe in love?'

  'Well, do you? Have you ever been in love?'

  He swallowed hard, grabbed his wine and swallowed that before looking directly at her.

  'As it happens, yes. Yes, Cat. I have.'

  'What happened?' Kyra asked.

  He dragged his gaze from Cat. 'It didn't work out. It seems my love was unrequited. She didn't love me.'

  'I … I didn't know that,' Cat said. She looked as if she was stunned by his admission. 'But then I wouldn't, would I? I've been away for eighteen years. Was it anyone I would've known?' She fiddled with the stem of her wine glass and wouldn't meet his eye.

  He wanted to shout out,
right then and there, 'It's you, Cat. You were the woman I was in love with. Still am in love with. Will probably always be in love with.' But he didn't.

  Instead he said, 'Yes. You knew her. Although perhaps not as well as you thought you did. But it was a long time ago.'

  Natalia gave him a questioning look and so did Josh. For some reason, Kyra looked at Cat. Oddly enough, her expression was one of concern. As if Cat might be upset by this revelation. But of course that was ridiculous.

  'When's the wedding, Cat?' Josh asked.

  'What wedding? Oh. Mum's you mean? I don't know. She didn't say. I think she's hoping Granny Viola will come out of her coma first.'

  'Is that likely?' Josh glanced around the table.

  'I don't think so,' Kyra said. 'But Mum and Gran still hold out hope.'

  'Hope's important,' Amias said. 'Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps us getting up every day.

  'Yes. I agree.' Cat still wouldn't look at him. 'But sometimes it's false. And that's the worst kind of hope there is. The doctors don't seem as hopeful as Mum and me. And unless things change soon, we may have to make a decision neither of us wants to make.'

  Amias knew how that felt. 'If there's anything I can do, please just say. I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can. Even if you just need a shoulder to … to cry on.'

  He was regretting that offer already. If she cried on his shoulder, he would definitely want to take her in his arms and comfort her. And more. Much more. He'd want to kiss away her tears and … No. He mustn't even think about that.

  'Is Jeremy moving in?' Natalia asked. 'Now that they're engaged.'

  Cat gave a snort of derision. 'He already has to all intents and purposes. He spends more time at Devon Villa than he does at wherever he's supposed to be staying. And he was only supposed to be in Merriment Bay for one week when Mum first met him. He said he was thinking of buying around here and was sussing the place out. But that one week extended without an expiration date once he started doing so much work at the house.'

  'Work? What sort of work?' Natalia looked concerned. 'I know Mary said that she was considering a bit of refurbishment in order to get a better price. Is that what he's doing?'