Christmas

by Emily Harvale

  Alwick shook his head. 'You must love Cat Devon very much if you're prepared to do all this for her. But Mary won't welcome you at Viola's bedside, son.'

  'I do, Dad. I always have. And one day soon, I hope I can tell her that. I'm hoping she feels the same about me. Or at the least, that she feels something. I can work on something. Indifference is much harder to deal with. And the beauty of tonight is that, if I time it right, Mary won't be there. She'll be with the police at Devon Villa. I'll be able to see Cat and Kyra and be gone again before Mary knows I'm there.'

  'I hope you're right, son. But the Devon women have a knack of breaking hearts. I hope Cat Devon doesn't break yours – again.'

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Exhaustion swept over Cat like a blanket of snow. She was cold, she was tired and she was feeling incredibly emotional.

  Amias had been wonderful. Without him, she wasn't sure what they would have done. He'd been there for her when she needed him. And he'd said he would always be there for her, whether she needed him or not. That had sent a thrill through her entire body.

  But even thinking of Amias was tiring. Not in a bad way, but in a confused, not knowing quite what was happening kind of way. She shifted from ecstatic to nervous, from jubilant to doubtful, from excited to fearful. Their talk, whenever they were going to have it, could go either of two ways.

  Either he would say he cared about her and wanted to have a relationship with her. Or he would say he liked her but just as a friend.

  That kiss hadn't been the kiss you gave a friend though. Had it?

  And now her head was going around in circles again. She felt as if she was on one of those merry-go-rounds they had at Christmas fairs; a carousel going up and down and round and round. One she couldn't get off and wasn't sure if she wanted to or not. At least while she was on it, she didn't have to face the thing that she dreaded. Amias telling her he could never love her as she loved him.

  She sighed as she glanced at her watch. It was getting on for 10.30 and it would soon be Christmas Day. Not that they had much to celebrate. The shops shut long ago and there was nowhere she could get even a tiny present for Kyra to open on Christmas Day.

  She smiled wanly at her daughter's head. Kyra was resting it on Granny Viola's bed, her hand in Granny Viola's. This wasn't the Christmas either of them had expected. But then again since they arrived in Merriment Bay, nothing had gone as they expected.

  Cat sometimes wished Kyra had gone to uni in September. But that wouldn't have changed very much really. And at least Kyra seemed happy with Lucas. He had been calling her and texting every hour or more since they had left the party the night before Christmas Eve. He clearly cared a lot for her.

  What did the future hold for them? Would she go to uni next year? Would she travel as she had planned after postponing her place at uni? Would Lucas go with her? He had planned to work in Will's law firm, but that could change. Or would Kyra decide to stay in Merriment Bay?

  Cat hoped Kyra wouldn't set aside her plans and follow someone else's dream. Cat had done that once. It had ended badly. She wanted more for her daughter. But she would let Kyra choose her own path. Follow her own star. Providing it was her own and no one else's.

  'How are you feeling, Cat?'

  Cat looked over at Ben who was standing in the doorway of Viola's room.

  She shrugged and gave a small laugh.

  'Not too bad, thanks, considering.'

  'It's certainly been a hell of a few days, hasn't it?'

  'You can say that again. I feel as if the world is spinning out of control. This latest thing with Mum and Jeremy was unexpected. And yet, it wasn't. Sorry. That won't make sense to you. I'm not sure it really makes sense to me. I'm not sure of anything at the moment. I do wish you hadn't had to witness that though.'

  'I'm glad we were here. I haven't been any help but if there's anything I can do, you only have to ask, Cat. I'd do anything I could to put that lovely smile back on your face.'

  She met his eyes and could tell he meant that.

  'Thanks. Having you, and Diana and Bailey here, has been a great comfort to us all. Is Bailey sleeping?'

  'Yes. Diana's with him. Why don't you and Kyra go back to the hotel and get a good night's sleep? I'll stay here with Viola until Mary returns. I promise she'll be in good hands. If you go now, there's more chance of getting a cab. I'll call you if there's even the slightest change in her condition.'

  Cat hesitated. A good night's sleep would do wonders for both her and Kyra. But could she really leave Ben with Viola? She trusted Ben, that wasn't the issue. But if Mary returned and found Ben there and no sign of Cat and Kyra, would she be upset?

  Probably. Almost definitely.

  And yet had Mary given a damn about how upset Cat would be when she and Granny Viola had lied about Amias?

  No.

  So why should Cat give a damn about how Mary would feel over something so trivial, in comparison?

  'Are you serious, Ben?' Cat eyed him intently. 'Would you really be happy to do that? Don't you and Diana want to get some sleep?'

  He smiled. 'We've been taking it in turns for most of the day. We're pretty good at grabbing catnaps. We're both fine. And if we're tired tomorrow, maybe you'll return the favour and sit with Grandfather for an hour or two, if he's not in here with Viola again for most of the day, that is.'

  'I'll happily return the favour. Thank you, Ben. This is really kind of you. Kyra. Kyra, sweetheart, wake up.'

  Kyra stirred, looked around the room and yawned.

  'Is it Christmas Day?'

  'Not yet, sweetheart. But Ben's offered to sit with Granny Viola while you and I go and get some sleep.'

  'Oh. OK.' She slowly got to her feet, yawning as she did so. I need the loo first.'

  She ambled towards Ben and the doorway, smiling up at him as he stepped aside to let her pass.

  Cat got to her feet too and, after kissing Granny Viola on the cheek, walked towards Ben.

  He didn't stand aside for her. Instead he smiled. A rather sexy smile, in fact.

  'It's Christmas,' he said, pulling a sprig of mistletoe from his pocket. 'I stole this from the hotel.' He raised it above their heads and winked.

  Cat stared at it and at him. She had promised Amias she wouldn't kiss anyone. But it was Christmas and Ben was holding mistletoe. Hadn't people said it was unlucky if you didn't kiss someone you met under mistletoe?

  She smiled up at him, a little sleepily.

  This time his kiss was even nicer. And when he wrapped his arms around her, she did the same, almost instinctively but partially because she felt too tired to stand. Slowly. She eased herself away. This was wrong and yet it felt right in many ways. She had promised Amias, and yet it was just a kiss. A kiss under the mistletoe at Christmas. And Ben was nice. So very nice.

  'I think Kyra's waiting,' she said.

  But when she looked along the corridor, there was no sign of Kyra. She must have imagined seeing someone in the corner of her eye as she eased away from Ben. Then Kyra appeared from the loo and Cat let go of Ben and walked towards her. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled.

  'Thanks for this, Ben. We'll see you later. Merry Christmas by the way.'

  He smiled back. 'Merry Christmas to you and Kyra, Cat. Pleasant dreams. I'll be thinking of you.'

  'You kissed him again, didn't you?' Kyra asked, her voice drowsy and her eyes half closed.

  'He kissed me.'

  'Is there a difference? A kiss is a kiss.'

  'But it was just a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe.'

  'Tell that to Amias.'

  'Hopefully, I won't need to because he doesn't need to know. I won't get upset if he kisses anyone under the mistletoe tonight at the pub.'

  'Yeah right. Tell that to someone who might believe you. You'd go nuts with jealousy. I don't get it, Mum. You've loved Amias for years. You've known Ben for about ten minutes. Are you really prepared to throw away your chance of happiness with Amias just for a kiss
under the mistletoe with Ben?'

  Cat stared at her. 'I don't know if I even have a chance of happiness with Amias. But no, of course I wouldn't. Ben's been kind though and it was just a little kiss. Nothing more. Please don't tell anyone about it.'

  'I won't. But please promise me you won't do it again. At least not until you know for sure which one you want to be with. Because kissing two men and leading them both on is something I never expected you to do.'

  'I'm not leading anyone on.'

  Amias had said something similar.

  'You may think you're not, but I can assure you, Mum, from where I'm standing you most definitely are.'

  'Really? You truly believe that's what I'm doing?'

  Kyra shrugged. 'That's the way it looks to me.'

  'Excuse me. You're Cat and Kyra Devon, aren't you?'

  Cat turned to the nurse at the desk at the entrance to the ward.

  'Yes. I'm Cat and this is Kyra.'

  The nurse smiled, bent down and put two large, glittery Christmas bags on the desk.

  'Then these are for you.'

  'For us? I don't understand.'

  'They were left for you. Just now.'

  'Left for us? Just now?'

  Cat was having trouble concentrating. Exhaustion was getting the better of her and Kyra's words hadn't helped. Her mind was in a whirl yet again.

  'Yes. About five minutes ago. If you hurry you may still catch him.'

  'Catch him? Catch who?'

  The nurse glanced from Cat to Kyra and then towards the door.

  'Amias Wells. He left these for you and Kyra. I told him he could take them to you, as he's a friend of my brother and he asked so nicely. I thought he was going to but he turned around and left them here instead. Merry Christmas.'

  Kyra sighed. 'Well done, Mum. Looks like you've just blown your chance with Amias. He obviously saw that little Christmas kiss.'

  She shook her head, grabbed one of the glittery Christmas bags and nodded for Cat to take the other, before trudging towards the door.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  What could she do? Cat had now left close to fifteen messages on Amias' phone and sent even more than that number of texts, but all her calls went to voicemail and the texts remained unanswered.

  Kyra was right. Amias had obviously seen that kiss.

  So much for going back to the hotel to get some sleep. How could she sleep knowing that Amias was clearly annoyed with her?

  And he had every right to be. The more she went over and over it in her head, the more she could see that.

  She had promised she wouldn't kiss anyone and whether that request was meant in jest or not, she had broken her promise.

  Why did he have to come to surprise her at the hospital? Why hadn't he called to let her know he was on his way? She would never have let Ben kiss her if she'd known Amias was going to be there.

  But he had brought presents for her and Kyra and even Mary and Viola. That was so thoughtful and kind. So generous and caring. So wonderful.

  And he'd been met with the sight of her, yet again, kissing Ben. That must have been like a slap in his face.

  She tried to call him again.

  'Amias. Please, please call me back. I don't know what you think you saw but it wasn't what you think. Ben had mistletoe. It's Christmas. And he kissed me. I didn't kiss him. Why didn't you stay to talk? Why didn't you let me know you were coming? Why did you bring us those wonderful presents and then walk away? Thank you, thank you, thank you for those. It's so kind and generous of you. Please, Amias. I'm begging you. Call me. We need to talk. Your friendship means the world to me.'

  Her heart leapt in her chest when she got a text a few minutes later but it died when she read the contents.

  'Cat. I won't be calling and I'd appreciate it if you stopped calling me. If you ever need my help, I'll always give it, but I can't do this. I'm glad you like the presents. I wanted you all to have something to open on Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, Cat. I hope you get everything you've dreamed of. Amias.'

  'That's it?' She screamed at the phone. 'That's all you've got to say? “I can't do this!” You can't do what? Can't be my friend? Can't return my calls? Can't speak to me? Can't see me?'

  'Mum!' Kyra turned over in her bed and glared at Cat. 'Why are you shouting at your phone?'

  Cat tossed it at Kyra, taking care to make sure it landed beside her, not on her.

  'That's why. Amias has basically told me to get lost and never speak to him again.'

  Kyra sat upright, sighed and read the text. She then scrolled through the mass of Cat's earlier messages to him.

  'I can't say I blame him. You were kissing Ben, after all. And I have to say, these messages make you sound a little crazy. First, you're pleading with him. Then you're ranting at him about some stunning woman eighteen years ago. Then you're begging him to call you. Did you leave him voicemails too?'

  'A few.'

  'How many is a few?'

  'Ten. Possibly twelve. OK. Fifteen.'

  'Fifteen? That's not a few. That's a bombardment. For God's sake, Mum. Are you twelve or thirty-five? The guy probably thinks you're nuts. He can justifiably accuse you of harassment after that lot and these texts. No wonder he's telling you to stop calling him.'

  'But I need to explain. I need to talk to him.'

  'You need to get yourself under control and get some sleep. Things will look clearer in the morning. Now I'm keeping your phone so you can't annoy him even more. Go to bed, Mum. Or go for a walk. Or take a cold shower. But whatever you do, leave Amias alone for a while. He's angry. He needs time to cool down. Sending him texts like these aren't going to help either of you.'

  Cat collapsed on the bed.

  'You're right. I know you're right. But I feel so frightened. So lost. So out of control. I can't bear the thought of losing him again, Kyra. I can't.'

  'I hate to point this out, Mum. But you didn't actually have him so you can't lose him. You weren't dating. You were merely going to talk and we're both assuming that was about the possibility of being more than friends. But what if it wasn't? And I'm playing the devil's advocate here. What if he'd said he likes you a lot but that's all? Would you be shooting off crazy texts and making loony phone calls if he'd told you that? No. You might've been heartbroken but you would've smiled and accepted it and cried on my shoulder. This is just because of everything that's happened. And because you're tired. Please get some sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning. Come here and snuggle up with me... and Merry Christmas.'

  Kyra shuffled down in the bed and held the duvet up for Cat to slip beneath it and join her.

  What else could she do? Kyra had her phone so she couldn't call Amias and ask him to reconsider.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Amias slumped into a chair and Natalia handed him a large glass of whisky.

  'This was officially the worst Christmas ever.' He emptied the glass in seconds.

  'Thanks.' Natalia tutted. 'Here. You may as well have the bottle. You and Dad can share it.'

  'I didn't mean being here. This has actually kept me from going insane. I meant in general.'

  Natalia gave him a sympathetic smile. 'I know. But it just feels that way. We've had worse Christmases before and we'll probably have some awful ones in the future. Life's not all roses, Amias. You know that.'

  He sucked in a deep breath and refilled his glass, handing the bottle to Alwick who was sitting on the sofa a couple of feet away.

  'If that's meant to cheer me up, it's not working.'

  'Nothing will cheer you up right now. I'm pretty pee'd off myself. I was perfectly happy to give away the Christmas presents you bought for me on the basis that it would make Cat and Kyra happy. And because you let me open them first and promised you'd buy them all again for me when the shops reopen. But I should also point out that you used my favourite wrapping paper to wrap them up again and got me to do it. But anyway, once you saw Cat kissing that guy again you should've brought the pre
sents back. She didn't deserve them.'

  He shook his head. 'I couldn't. No matter what, she and Kyra had to have something to open.'

  'I did warn you,' Alwick said. 'Those Devon women are nothing but trouble.'

  'Yeah. Thanks, Dad. Shall I lie on the floor and you can all dance on my corpse?'

  Natalia threw a Christmassy cushion at him.

  'Oh don't be such a drama queen. You're heartbroken – again. We get it. But whose fault is that? You've had ample chances to tell the bloody woman how you feel. I'm not condoning her behaviour because I do think she's treated you badly, but it's not as if you were dating or anything. And you could just as easily have gone to the pub last night and kissed any number of women. As you usually do on Christmas Eve at The Hope and Anchor. Don't scowl at me, Amias. It's true. You do.'

  Josh nodded and pulled a face. His head was clearly still hurting.

  'She's right, Amias. You do.'

  'OK. But only because it's Christmas Eve. Everyone does. And it's only kissing.'

  'Hmm.' Natalia rubbed her chin. 'And it wasn't Christmas Eve at the hospital then?'

  'Yes. But that's not a place to celebrate, is it?'

  'Why not? I would've thought that's the very place to cheer everyone up by going around kissing and generally having fun. But perhaps that's just me. What I'm saying is it may be exactly what she said in one of her many, many messages and texts. A Christmas kiss under the mistletoe. And one other little point I'll make. If she doesn't care about you, Amias, why the hell does she keep calling and texting you and begging you to talk to her?'

  'I wish I hadn't told you what she said.' He glared at Natalia over the rim of his glass.

  'So do I, brother dear. So do I. But you did, so I feel I have the right to comment. You're cross. You're hurt. We all understand that. But we all saw the way you were kissing at Amelia and Will's party. That was definitely not a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe. That was full-on passion. That was intense, and hot and actually quite titillating to those of us who watched it. And I watched it. Did the kiss she and Ben shared look like that?'