What Happens in Texas

by Carolyn Brown

  “It stands for stupidity,” Agnes said.

  Brenda Lee was belting out “Sweet Nothin’s” when the front door opened, and Trixie left Agnes still fussing, Cathy trying to calm her down, and Marty unloading the dishwasher. Customers had to be waited on no matter what the kitchen drama of the day was.

  “What in the hell are you doing here?” Trixie hissed when she saw Andy.

  Andy bypassed the cash register counter and sat down at a table in the old dining room. “A piece of sweet potato pie and a cup of coffee. That’s not a very nice line for a waitress. It won’t get you a tip, even if you do look like a young version of the woman singing that song. And would you please pour the coffee and cut my slice of pie? Marty might do something evil to it. I figure if Anna Ruth is welcome here, her being a club sister and all, then I should be able to get a good meal here at Clawdy’s. Right?”

  “The sweet potato pie won’t be ready to serve until noon. All we have left from yesterday is pecan cobbler,” she said.

  “My favorite. Add some of y’all’s whipped cream to the top. Not any of that stuff out of the tub or the can, either. I know the difference in fake and the real thing,” he said.

  “Don’t bet on it, buster,” Trixie said.

  Trixie filled a bowl with cobbler, warmed it in the microwave, and then topped it off with the last of yesterday’s whipped cream. She poured a cup of coffee, put both on a tray, and carried them out to Andy’s table.

  Damn the club anyway! She could wring Cathy’s neck for putting her name on the ballot. And who in the devil did Marty vote for? If she had cast her vote for Anna Ruth, Trixie was selling her part of the business and moving plumb out of Cadillac.

  * * *

  Clawdy’s only served breakfast and lunch. Most days the lunch rush was over and done with by two and the café cleaned up by three, but that day, it was four straight up when Marty turned off the music. When the sisters had gotten serious about converting their parents’ home into a café, they had used their mother’s record covers for decoration and played the old music from them all day. It made a lively conversation starter when folks heard the song and tried to find the cover hanging on the wall that went with it. Thank goodness many of the old records had been remade into CDs. After that it was just a matter of buying a fancy player that held multiple CDs and changing them every night.

  Marty came out of her jeans right in the middle of the kitchen floor and carried them to the utility room. She jerked her shirt over her head and threw it in the basket beside the washer and found an old grease-stained sweatshirt in the dryer and a pair of gray sweatpants that were stained up just as bad.

  “See y’all later. I’m off to the garage. Trixie, give me your keys and I’ll get the oil changed in your car before we start on the Caddy.”

  Trixie fished keys from her purse and tossed them. “Thanks a bunch.”

  Marty caught them midair. “You’ve got that Chamber meeting, so I’ll get it done while you’re over at the community center. What are you doing this evening, Cathy?”

  “Soon as I get out of these clothes, I’m going to make sure my flowers are all right, prune the crape myrtles, and harvest another crop of peppers before it frosts. I’ve got seeds, but I swear the people coming in here to eat can put away two quarts of pepper jelly a day.”

  “You always plant the peppers right where your grandma and mamma did?” Trixie asked.

  “Oh, yes. I’d be afraid to move them anywhere else for fear they wouldn’t do as well.”

  “I bet the secret to raisin’ them hot devils is in the soil then, not in the pepper seeds.”

  Cathy put a finger over her lips. “Shhh. I figured that out a while back, but we can’t let the Fannin County women know it or they’ll be digging up my dirt. I don’t know what they put in that dirt, but it grows some fine jalapeños. What are you doing until Chamber time?”

  “I’m going to tally up today’s receipts and get a bank deposit ready to put in the night drop. After the meeting, I’m going to work on my scrapbook. Mamma’s birthday will be here soon, and I’m hoping the pictures will jog her memory so she’ll be herself that day,” Trixie answered.

  “I’ll see y’all later.” Marty waved from the back door. She jogged from the house to the garage, a freestanding building at the back of the lot where her vintage Caddy was kept. She inhaled deeply at the door. Oil, grease, tires, and car wax. It was the most exciting thing in the world, next to a naked cowboy in a hayloft.

  “Hey, you’re here!” Jack’s head popped up from under the hood. He already had grease on his nose and a smear across his forehead. “Must’ve been one helluva busy day, but then it’s not every day that Agnes almost kills me, is it?”

  Jack wasn’t the hunky material for a hero in her book, but he was a good-looking man. His brown hair was kept in a military cut, his shoulders were wide, and the spare tire around his waist wasn’t too awfully big. His hazel eyes were kind, and he’d never, not one time, let her down when she needed a friend. Like her, he could fix anything under the hood of a car. And he was a whole hell of a lot better at bodywork than she was.

  “How’d you get into the story?” Marty asked.

  “Mamma called Violet since you weren’t answering your phone and told her that shots had been fired and I was dead. Rumor has it that Agnes was doin’ the shootin’ and that I got shot protecting Trixie. Trixie was the dirty culprit, and the whole thing had to do with y’all’s club stuff.”

  “It’s like that game we played when we were kids and someone whispered a sentence in your ear. By the time it got to the end of the line, it was so far removed from the original that it was just plumb crazy.” Marty giggled. “We need to change the oil in Trixie’s car before we start on the Caddy.”

  “That because you feel guilty that you voted for Anna Ruth and not Agnes or Trixie?” Jack asked.

  Marty sputtered and stammered, “What did you just say?”

  “Mamma said that you folded your ballot and that you came in late and was the only one who put a folded one in the bowl. Don’t worry, I’m not telling, and if Mamma hadn’t thought I was dead, she probably wouldn’t have let it slip either. She’s afraid that if any of the club members find out that she let the cat out of the bag they’ll kick her out. Must be something sacred goes on at those meetings. Do y’all kill a fatted calf or what?”

  Marty opened the old rounded refrigerator with rust around the door and pulled out a beer. She jerked the tab off and guzzled a third of it before coming up with an unladylike burp.

  “Not bad for a skinny-ass girl.” Jack laughed. “Come look at this belt. Think we ought to replace it? You going to tell me about the fatted calf?”

  “I wouldn’t know. The only time I show up is to vote. We’ll change the belt if it needs it. Which one?”

  “The long one right here,” he said.

  Six months before, one of the belts had blown, and Marty lost control out on a country road. A tree stopped the car and Marty wasn’t hurt, but the Caddy suffered severe front end damage. Jack had been helping a couple of nights a week.

  She carried her beer to the pegboard where belts, small spare parts, and tools were neatly arranged. She picked out the right one and laid it on the fender.

  “Where’s your beer?” she asked.

  “I just got here a minute before you did. Alarm didn’t go off when it was supposed to. Here. You put on the belt, and I’ll get one,” he answered.

  She took a screwdriver from his hand, deftly removed the old belt, held it up to the light, and pointed at the split. “Another mile and we’d have had a real problem. Can’t have the old girl breaking down right in the middle of the Cadillac Jalapeño Jubilee parade, can we? She’s been leading the pack for more than forty years.”

  She was putting the new belt on when the wrench popped off and her knuckles hit the engine. She jerked her hand back, shook it, and yelled, “Son of a bitch!”

  “Hurt?” Jack asked.

  “What the
hell do you think?”

  He took her hand in his, and before she could wiggle, he poured the rest of her beer right on the open cuts. “That’ll heal it. You want me to put the belt on?”

  “Hell no! My hand is busted up now, and I’ll make a damn believer out of it all by myself. Some friend you are, pouring beer on my poor hand.”

  “Bubbles will clean it out. Stop your whinin’ and let’s get this damn thing on.”

  “Soon as this belt is on, we need to change the oil in Trixie’s car. Should have done it to begin with and I might not have busted my knuckles. Wipe that grin off your face. Some friend you are,” Marty said.

  “Ah, you know you’ve loved me forever,” Jack teased.

  He had lived right next door his whole life and he’d moved back home two years before. He’d planned on staying with the military the full twenty years, but after that last tour in Iraq, he’d had enough.

  The yards were split by a white picket fence with lantana on Cathy’s side and miniature roses on Beulah’s side. A gate was located right in the middle of the long expanse of fence and still squeaked on its hinges like it did when Cathy, Marty, Trixie, and Jack had run back and forth between the yards and houses all their growing-up years.

  “What are we going to do in the evenings when we get the Caddy completely finished?” Jack asked.

  “Well, I expect we can drink beer and just sit back and enjoy our work. Long as I can prop up my feet, talk to my friend even when he teases me, and smell oil and transmission fluid, I’m a happy woman.”

  That time the belt slipped on as slick as if she’d greased the posts with hot butter.

  “We could go over to my house and watch movies,” Jack said.

  “Your house don’t smell like oil and transmission fluid. And I bet Beulah would pitch a hissy if we took beer in the kitchen door.”

  “Yes, ma’am, she would. Speakin’ of kitchens?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  “There’s some cold fried chicken and a plate of fried fish left.”

  “Any of Cathy’s sweet potato pie?”

  “Couple of pieces and I think there’s a little bit of loaded mashed potatoes left in the refrigerator.”

  He nodded. “I’ll have both slices of that pie and I want pepper jelly for my biscuit. Ain’t nobody in the world can make pepper jelly like y’all do. It’s my favorite.”

  “With whipped cream and lots of it on the pie, right?” Marty smiled. Jack had always liked eating at her house better than his mamma’s. Beulah, bless her heart, knew her way around a kitchen, but what she produced couldn’t compare to Claudia Andrews’s cooking.

  * * *

  Trixie darted upstairs, took a fast shower, and dressed in black slacks, a red shirt with black lace on the scoop neck, and black high heels. She was the Chamber of Commerce delegate for Miss Clawdy’s Café. The Chamber and the City Council both helped with all the festivities in Cadillac, and that night they were discussing the craft festival, which was always held the weekend before Halloween. After that there would be the Jalapeño Jubilee in November and finally the big Christmas Ho-Ho-Ho Parade and Carnival in the middle of December. Then there was the town musical in the spring between Easter and Mother’s Day and the Fourth of July festival. Cadillac was one busy little town.

  Each partner at Miss Clawdy’s had a community job. Trixie had been on the Chamber roster when she worked at the bank, so she was familiar with all the members and kept that place. Cathy was a member of the club and they were always big in the Jalapeño Jubilee. Marty was the secretary of the local Kiwanis Club and they did the Christmas Ho-Ho-Ho. So they all had a holiday responsibility.

  Trixie looked up at the clock. She still had fifteen minutes. She might have time for a piece of cold fried fish if she ate fast. They’d have finger foods at the committee meeting. The Lord would strike Beulah Landry dead if she didn’t bring her deviled eggs to every single function and Beulah, like Violet Prescott, was one of the grand matriarchs of southern Grayson County. And Annabel would bring fancy cookies. Someone else would have those little tidbits with ham and cheese rolled up in flour tortillas and cut into bite-size pieces. In Cadillac, folks brought food to everything. It didn’t matter if it was a Chamber meeting, a funeral, or a baby shower. The catch was that the food wasn’t served until the function was over and Trixie would starve if someone got long-winded at the Chamber meeting.

  Trixie grabbed a piece of fish and was about to take a bite when Agnes pushed into the kitchen. “I’m hungry. Y’all got any fish or chicken left? And I want a piece of that sweet potato pie, too.”

  “Got some fish and a few pieces of chicken. The pie is gone. Marty carried the last two pieces out to Jack.”

  “Well, shit. She’s probably bribin’ him to keep his mouth shut about the vote.” Agnes pulled down a to-go box and loaded it with chicken strips and fish.

  “How would he know anything about that stupid club?”

  “His mamma talks too much. Put this on my bill. I’m still not talkin’ to you.”

  “You would have talked to Anna Ruth if y’all were in club together, though, wouldn’t you? And she’s not a bit better than my mamma.”

  “No, she’s not, and when I get into the club she’d best be married to that philanderin’ son-of-a-bitch you couldn’t hang on to or I’ll vote that we kick her sorry ass out. I’m leaving now because I’m not talkin’ to you.”

  “You going to fix the ceiling?” Trixie called out when she was on her way out.

  “Hell no! I was protecting you so you can get someone to come fix the ceiling. Besides, the twins need to update the upstairs anyway. I’ll never understand why they’d sink all their money into a café, for God’s sake. And namin’ it such a stupid name. Don’t be askin’ me to bail you out when it goes belly up in this economy. Folks ain’t interested in good food. They want something fast and easy,” Agnes said.

  “Oh, we have a backup plan, Agnes. If the café fails, we’re going to change the sign to Miss Clawdy’s Brothel, and underneath it’s going to say, Y’all come on in and check out our menu. You want a job answering the phone for us?” Trixie asked.

  Agnes narrowed her eyes and clucked her tongue like a hen gathering chickens in a thunderstorm. “I knew when they let you move in here there would be trouble. I swear to God you are a bad apple, girl. Only one over here worth a dime is Cathy, and that’s because she’s kind like her mother was. I can’t believe that Claudia took one look at those two little babies and named the wrong damn one after me. Catherine should have my name. Not Marty!”

  “Why thank you, Aunty Agnes, but I disagree about the names. Marty is just like her Aunty Martha Agnes, so I think they were named right,” Trixie said.

  Agnes shook her bony finger at Trixie. “I’m not your aunt and if I was, I’d take you to the river and drown you.”

  * * *

  Cathy was in the yard pulling weeds away from the sweet williams and the marigolds on the east side of the house when her phone rang. She didn’t even check the ID before she pulled it out of her bibbed overall pocket and answered it.

  “Hello,” she said sweetly.

  “Cathy, what was going on there last night?” Ethan said.

  “Agnes thought someone was in the bedroom hurting Trixie.” Cathy sat down and pulled the sleeves to her sweater down to her wrists. “I was coming home when Beulah called me. She was afraid that Jack had been shot.”

  “Okay, then. I just had a few minutes and wanted to check on you. I’ve got another campaign meeting this evening. It’s a busy time with the last weeks of the election. I’ll see you on Saturday night.”

  “I love you, Ethan,” Cathy said.

  “Me too,” he answered.

  Why was it so hard for him to actually say the words, I love you? He had to love her, didn’t he? He had proposed and they were getting married in less than two months.

  Cathy put the phone back in the bib pocket and leaned back on her elbows.

  The phone rang again
and she bit back a string of cuss words that would have scorched the hair out of a bullfrog’s nostrils when she saw that it was Anna Ruth.

  “Hello?” she said tersely.

  Marty would have loved it if she’d lost her temper and actually said all the words about to explode in her head.

  “I just had to touch base with you since we’re club sisters now. Are you involved with the craft show this fall? Violet called and asked me to be at the Chamber meeting tonight and I wondered if we might get a cup of coffee afterward.”

  “I’m not involved with that,” Cathy said.

  “Marty?”

  “No?”

  “Don’t tell me Trixie is.”

  Cathy sighed. “Anna Ruth, Trixie is my oldest and dearest friend. I’m not talking about her to you.”

  “Well, I’m your club sister, so that card trumps a friendship,” Anna Ruth shot back.

  “I don’t think so.”

  Anna Ruth could suck the energy out of a Jehovah’s Witness in thirty seconds flat.

  “Well, I’m a better friend because I’ve worried myself sick all day that Trixie might have caused you to have a heart attack last night.”

  “Why would I have a heart attack? Healthy people don’t have heart attacks at thirty-four,” Cathy said.

  “Well, you do have to deal with a drunk friend, and there is the stress of the wedding,” Anna Ruth said. “I’ve got to go now. I’m in front of the community room. Oh, I can see you across the street. I’m waving at you. About that coffee afterward. We could still go.”

  “As you can see, I’m busy, so no, thank you.” Cathy disconnected and put the phone back in her pocket.

  A fat robin flew down from a tree and pulled a nice big juicy earthworm from the earth where she’d been digging. She sat very still and watched him. And then it dawned on her that Trixie had already left for the Chamber meeting and Anna Ruth was on the way. She should at least warn Trixie!

  She sat up so fast that it startled the robin. He flew away and dropped the worm on her bare foot. She flicked it off and grabbed the phone out of her pocket. She hit the speed dial button for Trixie and tapped her foot as she waited. On the fifth ring it went to voice mail. She tried a second time and it went straight to voice mail.