SAHM I Am
Page 30
…and smeared it all over my hair and my face.
“You jerk!” I yelled at him. I got him in a headlock and pulled him down with me. We rolled backward into the debris that used to be my in-laws’ wedding cake.
“You’re the most self-sufficient, stubborn girl in the whole world!” he shouted as he stuffed cake down my swimsuit.
Jeanine finally found her voice. She shrieked at us to stop it immediately. But we were too far gone. All the months of frustration and irritation got taken out on that poor, unfortunate cake!
“And you want everything to be both ways! Valued at home, and yet absent all the time!”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Frosting was everywhere now, and we were coated. “Don’t you know you can’t have your cake and eat it, too?” I yelled.
Suddenly, everyone started giggling. And then there was full-blown laughter. I couldn’t figure out why, until Tom started chuckling, too. Then I realized what I’d said. I groaned and laid my head back in all the mush. Tom leaned over me, his face white with frosting.
“Yes, I can,” he said, right before he kissed me.
The kiss was sweet and sticky and gooey, and we forgot about everyone else watching us and just kissed and kissed—until I heard my mother-in-law, resignation in her voice, say, “I give up. Let them eat cake!”
Fortunately, there were enough sheet cakes on a different table to feed the guests. I thought for sure Jeanine and Morris would be livid. But they said when you get to be their age, you realize that good entertainment is worth a few wedding cakes now and then. They also came over to us, after we’d showered off all the confection, and presented us with a packet.
“We were talking,” Morris said.
Tom asked, “What’s this?”
“Our honeymoon itinerary,” Jeanine told us. “We want you to go instead.”
Tom shoved it back at them. “No way. We aren’t taking your honeymoon!”
I shook my head, too.
“You obviously have some issues you need to work out. We figured ten days in Cancún without the kids should do the trick.” Morris refused to take back the packet.
“Yeah, well, where are they going to go?” I asked.
Jeanine smiled patiently. “With us, of course.”
Tom sputters, “You just got married!”
“What better time to let the girls get to know their new grandpa?” Jeanine said.
Morris glanced from me to Tom and back at me. “Look, five years from now, if our marriage is in the mess yours is in right now, you can repay us the favor. Okay?”
They wouldn’t let us talk them out of it. So we took the girls to stay with Grandma and Grandpa and then went home long enough on Sunday to grab our passports and suitable clothing. We got to Cancún on Monday afternoon and are staying in this fabulous beachfront suite, and having the time of our lives. We’ll be home a week from today.
You know, at first, I thought Jeanine was crazy for marrying Morris. But seeing how he handled the wedding, and how sweet he was to me and Becky—even after our third-degree interrogation of him (which we’re all laughing about now—no hard feelings whatsoever, thankfully)—and his kindness to me and Tom made me just love him. And he’s great with Tom. He might turn out to be the good dad my husband always wanted.
And that, my friends, is “what’s going on.” Gotta go…
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
NO STINKING FAIR!
* * *
Hey! None of us have gotten a trip to Cancún for fighting with our husbands! Much less, for ruining our MIL’s wedding cake! Man, I’m going to go kick some cabinets!
But, Dulcie, before I go, you never said—did you work everything out with Tom? Are you two going to be okay?
Z
* * *
From:
Rosalyn Ebberly
To:
VIM
Subject:
Re: SAHM I Am
* * *
Oh, Ronnie, y’all are so…cute. Okay, fine then. There ya go. (Did I say all that right?)
Rosalyn
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
* * *
From:
Rosalyn Ebberly
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
[SAHM I AM] I’m Back
* * *
Dearest Loop Sisters (and one biological sister),
I had no idea when I decided to leave this group that it would rend such a hole in your hearts. So many of you have written, practically panic-stricken, at the thought of my departure. What a blessed encouragement to hear how my humble leadership and homey advice have impacted your lives. I’m especially indebted to my sister, Veronica Marcello, who recently joined SAHM I Am for the purpose of following in my footsteps. Her love and friendship is what finally convinced me of the importance of returning to you all.
I promised some people I would be more honest and transparent with you. That doesn’t come easy for me, but I will try. So, for starters…I probably missed you more than you missed me. I like to think that you all need me, but the truth is, I need you just as much. Maybe more.
But that’s enough vulnerability for one e-mail. A woman can only handle so much change at once, you know.
Love,
Rosalyn
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] I’m Back
* * *
Well, I never thought I’d live to see the day…She was positively almost humble. Whaddya know about that? :)
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: NO STINKING FAIR!
* * *
Oh yeah, sorta got distracted at that point, didn’t I. Sorry to make you wait two days for the answer to that. Although, I thought it’d be fairly obvious. :)
Yes! We worked it out. It turns out, you think I have insecurity and self-image issues? Apparently nothing compared to those of my dear, dear hubby. I found out, while we lay out on the beach and talked and sipped virgin daiquiris, and watched the tide come in, that Tom’s biggest fear has always been that he’ll be a horrible dad, just like his father. He never had anyone teach him how to be a good dad. So he always felt intimidated by me, because he thinks I’ve got it all together. (Boy, do I have him fooled or what?) But he is good at computers. So he put all his effort into being a good programmer and making lots of money so he could feel like he was doing something right.
Anyway, once I understood where he was coming from, it was no problem to fix all our misunderstandings. He now knows I do want him to be home with us, and that I don’t think he’s in the way, that I was just blowing off steam to you girls when I wrote that e-mail. In fact, I told him that was my whole problem—I need him. I don’t think I’d make a very good single mother at all. Having him gone all the time made me feel so lonely. He also knows that sometimes I say stupid things to people that I don’t mean, thus the “romance novel” comment. And I now know he wants to be with me and the girls, too, and that he just needs a bit more encouragement about his abilities as a good dad and husband.
The rest of how our trip is going? Well, come on! We’re at a romantic, exotic beachfront resort in Cancún, Mexico, with no kids! How do you think we’re doing? You know, every couple should postpone their honeymoon until after they have kids. They’d appreciate it ever so much more.
Gotta run. We’re heading out to some Mayan ruins today. And then, we have a moonlight date arranged on the beach. Did I ever tell you how exquisite Tom’s backrubs are? Love and hugs to everyone (’cause I’m overflowing and have plenty to spare),
Dulcie
* * *
From:
desperatemom@nebweb.net
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
I’m New
* * *
Dear Mothers,
My best friend has been bugging me about joining this group, but I’ve been refusing because I don’t like computers or e-mail. However, the events of the past twenty-four hours have changed my mind.
I decided to purchase a computer after my fiendish nineteen-month-old daughter watched me step out of my house in my pj’s and robe this morning to grab the paper and deliberately locked the door behind me and stood making faces at me in the window. It didn’t bother her that I am seven months pregnant with her little brother, and had to use the bathroom. I had to knock on neighbors’ doors until I found someone home who would let me use the phone to call my husband. The neighbor, a middle-aged man, had a hard time not smirking at my pregnant, waddling, bathrobed predicament. Upon my husband’s arrival and unlocking of our door, I entered the house and found said daughter had scattered an entire box of Cheerios throughout my kitchen and living room, including between the couch cushions and in my potted plants.
I decided to get e-mail when I found out my best friend, who was my last link to sanity, went crazy, destroyed her mother-in-law’s wedding cake, had a food fight with her husband, and got a trip to Cancún as a reward.
I decided to join your e-mail loop when she told me she and her family are planning to move to Springfield, MO, where her husband’s new stepfather found him a programming job and has offered to teach him all the things her husband had wanted to learn from his dad, but hadn’t.
She says the friends she’s made here have changed her life and helped her be a better woman and a better mother. I’m sure hoping you can do the same for me.
Sincerely,
Marianne Hausten
STEEPLE HILL BOOKS
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5429-3
SAHM I AM
Copyright © 2005 by Meredith Efken
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