Chapter 16
Tyler
I can’t seem to do the right thing where Addison Parker is concerned. I have always loved her, and that won’t ever change. The problem is my love for her has been toxic. I have hurt her so many times, and I don’t know if we can come back from that. Damn it, I can’t lose hope. If I lose hope then I have already lost her, and I cannot accept that. I can accept the blame for the position we are in now, but I cannot accept we will always be here. I want the end-all, be-all with her. The fucking fairytale is what we deserve.
As I make my way to Colby and Brielle’s, I can’t stop thinking about how she looked so damn sexy on that couch. I know she wanted me, hell she admitted as much. The fact that she is the mother of my children makes her that much sexier to me. That is saying a lot because my Lil’ Bit is sexy as fuck on her own. I need to talk to Colby and get some advice from him. It isn’t like he doesn’t have experience with climbing out of the doghouse.
I make my way inside and notice all the lights are on downstairs. Score! I know they haven’t gone to bed. I make my way upstairs and notice Cambree and Dustin aren’t home and check my watch. Oh good, it is only 10:30, so I know Brielle won’t freak out about them being late for curfew. I chuckle to myself at how fast I fall back into the routine of this family . . . my family.
I reach their bedroom door and swing it open, and wish I hadn’t. Holy shit, I did not need to see this! Colby is hollering at me to close the door and Brielle picks up her phone and throws it at the door. Right as I go to slam the door shut, I hear both kids crying. Holy fuck, Brielle is going to kill me. I hurry to the kids’ rooms to try and quiet them down, but there are two of them in separate rooms. How do they do this? Oh, this is not going to end good for me.
Right then Colby and Brielle come flying out of their room, fully clothed this time, thank God. Brielle shoots a look at me that makes me check to see if I just pissed my pants because it is that damn scary. Colby just grabs me by my shoulder and shoves me in the opposite direction of her.
“Dead . . .” I hear Brielle hiss as she rushes in to pick up Riley and take her to CJ’s room. Oh, that is how it works. You combine them. Nice work, Brielle.
“Dude, what in the fuck were you thinking?” Colby asks. Before I can answer he holds up his hands and continues, “Wait. You weren’t thinking. That isn’t exactly your specialty.”
“Low blow, asshole.” He is supposed to be my family, and he is handing that shit out to me. I walk into the kitchen and grab a beer.
“Tyler, the house was quiet, our fucking bedroom door was shut, and you barge in. I don’t know what else to assume except that you had your head up your ass. But damn, we have two kids of our own and Cambree and Dustin here more than not. I finally get some time with my sexy as fuck wife and you just fucked it all to hell. If you are staying with us, and that is a big IF once Brielle gets a hold of you, there needs to be a system.” Colby starts shaking his head. “I cannot believe I just said we needed to come up with a system like we are in college and leaving a sock on the door. This is my house, and I am married with kids. Fuck this. Tyler, if the door is shut, don’t come in. End of discussion.”
I can’t help but laugh at his frustration. I ask, “How about a sign that says ‘If the door is shut, I am getting my nut.’” I can’t help but chuckle to myself. I look up and see Brielle stop and stare.
“Did you really just say that? And you owe me a hundred bucks to fix the screen on my phone,” Brielle says as she comes to stand in front of me. I just open my wallet and hand her the money. I am not dumb enough to argue with her.
Colby turns his attention to her and says, “Seriously? Again? This throwing your phone has to stop, pretty girl.” Then he faces me, “No sign; just use common sense. I am not a damn eighteen year old needing to advertise my sex life.”
Brielle just smiles and says, “Oh, yes I am serious. It was either throw my Kindle or phone, and I am not messing up my Kindle. I need that for the nights you irritate me. Think of the fun we could have with a sign advertising our sex life to Dustin. He would be mortified, and you know I live for that shit.” Then she turns to go back to her bedroom and calls over her shoulder, “Have fun boys, and make sure if the two heathens aren’t home by one o’clock you ground both of their asses.”
I watch Colby following her every move with a smile on his face and love in his eyes. When did we become such pussies? I can’t even pick on him because I do the same with Addy.
“Alright, Ty. Spill it. What was so important that I will now be going to bed with blue balls?”
“Fuck, man. I don’t know what to do with Addy. I know I have hurt her, left her, lied to her, and anything else that is a cardinal sin in a relationship. Wait, I never cheated. But I love her. It is that simple. I know you fucked up with Brielle. How did you fix it?”
“I need a beer for this shit. First, Tyler, I never left Brielle like you did. I screwed up twice, and never again. I feel you. You love her. I just don’t know what you need to do. I used music with Brielle. That is her life. It is kind of the same for Addy and her dancing. Maybe get her back to the studio . . . maybe that will make her feel grounded. I am only willing to help you out because you are my family. You hurt her. That is on you, brother.”
He left nothing out, and I am glad. I can’t blame anyone but myself, and only I can fix this. Just hearing this from someone kills me though. It guts me.
“You are dead on, Colby. I did this, and I will fix it. I don’t know how, but know I will. I am a mess without her. I didn’t walk away willingly, but I felt like I needed to run. I have to work that shit out on my own. But just know that I never stopped loving her, needing her, or wanting her. That girl is my life. Call me a pansy-ass or whatever, but that girl owns me.”
Colby just chuckled. “If I call you a pansy-ass, I call myself one. Did you forget who I am married to? Those Parker sisters will be the death of us, but what a way to go.” The smirk he has on his face says it all. We wouldn’t change a damn thing with those women.
“Hey man, go back to bed. I will listen for the monsters and stay up to make sure the heathens are home on time. If not, I will not tell Brielle, but I will scare the shit out of them.”
“Thanks, man. I don’t worry about Cambree, but Dustin is a whole other story. That boy is going to break Brielle’s heart one day, and I am going to have to break him.” He makes his way towards his room and stops. “Tyler, keep your chin up. You will figure out your demons, and slay them. You will be with Addy and your girls. There is just no other way it can be.”
I sure hope so. I will just have to show her every day and every moment that she is it for me. I take my wallet out and sit down. I dig around and take the picture out that nobody knows I have. I grab the remote and flip on the TV, and it is on CMT. What else in this house? Brantley Gilbert’s “The Best of Me” is playing, and I open the picture. The ultrasound picture I stole from Addy the night I left. I rub my fingers over it, and it is amazing to know that I have two little perfect girls. Of course in this picture you can’t tell there are two of them. I am so blessed, and I will fight with everything I have, and then some more. I open my wallet to put that picture back in its spot and see the picture of us from our senior prom. I have that same look of love I just saw from Colby, and I vow to get that back. I want that, but more than that, Addy deserves that, and nothing less.
When my phone rings with a number I don’t recognize, I pick it up hesitantly. “Hello?”
“Don’t hang up. It is Mitch.” What is this guy calling me for? I thought I made myself perfectly clear.
“What?” I can hear him laughing at the other end.
“Listen, can you and Colby meet for a beer. I can explain a little, but just know I am glad you are back. She needs you, whether she will admit it or not, but most importantly she loves you.” I don’t know if I can sit across from him. He slept in her house, and was there for her when I wasn’t. I do know this needs to end.
&nb
sp; “I can come. Colby is already in bed, and going up there is not something I am going to do again. Meet me at the pool hall in an hour.” I hang up.
Shit! Just what I need to add to this . . . a meeting with lover boy. I go to tell Colby and Brielle I have to go, and remember what I walked in on before. Better yet, they can figure it out.
When I walk in I see him and a younger version of him sitting at a table to the side. I don’t know if he thinks he is intimidating me by having back up, but when it comes to my family, nothing stops me.
“You rang?” I say as I take a seat.
“Listen, Tyler. I am going to get all the bullshit out of the way. I never had anything going with your girl. She is like a little sister to me.” I see a weird look cross his face as he looks at his younger sidekick. “We are in the same town, and I want us to be able to be in the same room. The whole family is important to me, but most of all I want Addison to be happy. That is with you. I need to tell you something, but first I need your word there will be no questions. Please listen to what I have to say.”
Damn if that wasn’t cryptic, but for some reason I get the feeling he is telling the truth. I see in his eyes that he loves that whole family, but in a brotherly way, not romantically. “Colby told me I could trust you, and I will try. That is all I can promise.”
“Fair enough,” he states. Before beginning, he looks at the guy next to him. I am assuming is his brother. “This is my brother, Max. He is down here helping me on a case, and I just found out he is seeing Cambree. I don’t like it, but that is their choice. I can’t go in the specifics, but the case we are working on has some ties to the Parkers. Nobody is in danger or trouble, and if it comes to that I will come to you. For right now, I need you to accept my friendship, and trust me that we all have the same agenda here. That family has been through enough, and I don’t want anything to hurt them again.”
Now I have all sorts of questions, but he shakes his head at me. I know that is the cop in him, and I have to respect him, especially after tonight. I stand up and put my hand out. After shaking his hand I tell him, “Okay, I am going to trust you for now, but promise me, if anything comes up that can hurt them, come to me first. That is my life there.”
When he looks me in the eyes and says “Promise. You have my word.” I know he is telling me the truth. I nod my head as I begin to leave, then pause and look at Max.
“I guess I will be seeing you. Words of wisdom . . . don’t hurt Cambree. She is more than a little sister to me; I helped raise her. But don’t be afraid of Colby or me. Be afraid of Addison and Brielle if you hurt that girl.” When Max answers me with a nod, I hope I have made my point.
My gut churns with all kinds of scenarios, but I have to let it go. He assured me he would tell me if I needed to be concerned, and I could tell how much he cares for that entire family. I just need to let it go and focus on Addison and the babies. They are my priority.
Chapter 17
Addison
Last night keeps replaying in my mind. The spark that ignites between Tyler and me is undeniable. It always has been. But for so long he was my best friend, too. It is one thing to get over the betrayal of a fiancé, but when you lose your best friend at the same time, it is a bitter pill to swallow. I keep telling myself that I don’t want to believe he means it when he says he is here for the long haul, but I really want to believe that. I just can’t. I can’t go through that again. I know I should have just let him talk. Maybe he would have figured out what makes him run, but I am afraid that he will always run. What if he figures out that it is me that makes him leave? I would rather just leave my heart where it is, partially intact, before I rip that bitch open to bleed out. I have never doubted his love, but I do doubt his commitment.
I make my way down to get my coffee and realize it is after the girls’ normal times to get up, and I haven’t heard a peep. I decide to detour to the nursery and am knocked to my ass by what I find. Tyler is in the rocking chair with a girl in each of his arms just rocking them and letting them explore his face with their tiny little hands. I feel like I can’t catch my breath, and I know tears are streaming down my face. He then goes in for the kill and tells them, “I love you. I love you as much as I love your mommy. You three are my life and my heart. Your mommy is the reason for my breath, my heartbeat. I want you to grow up and be just like her, but with your Aunt Brielle’s charm. That way I won’t have to beat too many boys off you. I just want one promise from you, that you will always love your daddy, even when he screws up. I am not perfect, my little angels, but you are my perfection.” I have to back out of the room and catch my breath. That is my Tyler, and somewhere along the way we lost that. No, he lost that, and I don’t want to be around when he loses it again.
I decide to go to the kitchen for my coffee. I flip on the radio and Luke Bryan’s sexy ass comes crooning through with “My First Love Song” and I immediately smile. I love this song, and it used to bring so many memories of Tyler to mind, and they were happy. Before I realize it, I have started dancing around the kitchen and about drop the sugar when I turn around and Tyler is staring at me.
He walks to me and says, “I have a new tradition I want to start today.”
I can only nod at him. The heat in his gaze has me smoldering right there on the kitchen floor.
“I am going to start every morning with a question. That way it will always be your choice. The question is, Lil’ Bit, are we co-parenting or together?”
I just stare at him. I don’t know what the heck he means. “What?” I manage to stutter out.
“I am going to make it clear each and every day that I want you, and I want our family together. So to start our day, I am going to ask you what you choose. I am praying for the day you say together, but until that day, I am going to start your day out with no doubts about where my heart and head are.”
Is he for real? He starts laughing, “Yes, Addison, I am very real. And very in love with you and our children. I know I have a lot to prove to you. I am starting now, and I won’t quit until you believe it. Now, what is your answer?”
Does he have any clue that I want to scream, “TOGETHER!” But I just can’t. So I tell him, “Co-parent.” I watch his face fall in pain and want to kick myself, but I can’t be weak around him. He didn’t give a flying fuck when I was breaking and crumbling in pain, so he needs to buck up.
“Okay, until tomorrow, or when you change your mind, that is how it will be.” He reaches above me and grabs his own coffee mug. How is he just going to act like nothing has changed? We have kids. We have spent the last ten months apart, and he is going to come in my home and help himself to whatever he wants? Before I can voice any of that, he continues, “I want to be here with you and the twins as much as I can. I missed enough. All my fault . . . I know. But I want to be here and learn their routine, their likes and dislikes. But most of all, I want to be their daddy. I want that bond.”
Well, hell. I can’t argue with that. For now, there is no harm in that. They are still young. They won’t be damaged when he leaves again.
He bends down to my ear and whispers, “Not leaving, Addison. Get the thoughts out of that beautiful mind of yours.” He can still read me after all this time. Why did he ever have to ruin what we had? I can still feel myself wanting and longing for that. He is an insufferable asshole of a man.
“What do you do on a normal day?” he asks me.
“Well, I suck snot out of their noses, if needed. I wipe asses and their little privates when they pee, change and wipe shitty asses when they poop, feed them, burp them, change my clothes when they vomit all over me, listen to them cry, and try to figure out what in the fuck they want, then rock them, and put them down for a nap. Then maybe get a small bite to eat and start all over again. It is actually pretty glamorous.” I can’t help but laugh at the look on his face.
“Well, from now on, you will spend at least two hours in your dance studio. You are a wonderful mom, and you are a wonderful woman
, and you will not lose that part of yourself. I may suck at shit and pee and vomit, but I am all in.” He looks right in my eyes as he says all this, so I know he is dead serious.
As much as I want to jump for joy, I just don’t know if I can trust him. He must read my mind, “You will be right out back, and I am their father. I have to learn sometime. I may need a week of training, and then I am good. Colby and I do most of our work from home with very little commuting, and we will work around that. I want to finally put you first Addison, and I want you to put yourself first, too.”
I decide not to look this gift horse in the mouth. I just say, “Okay. You can stick around for the rest of the week. Then we will be in Daytona, so you can help that week with them, too.” He just smiles and shakes his head. It almost seems like he is planning something, and he can be damn charming when he tries, too.
Before I can think any more about that, both, Shiloh and Cheyenne, start their shrieking. “Come on lover boy, time for your training.” And he follows after me.
After a day of diapers, vomit, bottles, dish washing, laundry, and tripping over toys and each other, the girls are finally down for the night. He looks at me as I grab a candy bar, and I ask, “What?”
“Is that your dinner, Addison?” I just nod my head, yes. “Hell no, you need to eat. I haven’t seen you eat all day, and this is draining.”
“I am too tired to heat up anything, and I don’t cook very well. So chocolate it is.” I mumble through a mouth of chocolate.
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