Two Little Lies

by Rhonda Helms

  Anna nodded as she flipped through the first few pages of a book she’d snagged from the café’s bookshelves behind us. Since she hadn’t been able to meet me and Bianca for coffee yesterday, I’d asked if she could today after she was done with her shift at the elementary school cafeteria. She looked up and shot me a grateful smile as she closed the book. “You know¸ I’m so glad you clued me in to this place. It’s been a godsend.”

  “I’m sure you would have found it eventually,” I said with a chuckle. “This isn’t exactly a booming metropolis.”

  I peered out the large front windows to our main street. Traffic went by, a few scattered cars driving here and there. On the sidewalks were people rushing to get to their destinations. Snow sprinkled down, covering everything in a fresh layer of white fluff. A great day for coffee and chatting.

  “So how are things with Gavin?” I asked. I picked off the corner chunk of my scone and popped it into my mouth. So flaky good.

  Her smile widened, and I saw her cheeks flush. “It’s going really well. I’m meeting his family this weekend.”

  “Wow, that’s kinda big,” I said. I’d already met West’s dad…but only at the car dealership. He hadn’t yet taken me to officially meet his parents, like for dinner or anything. I knew they didn’t have a great relationship, so it hadn’t bothered me.

  Until now.

  Well, I just needed to talk to him about it. I made a mental vow to do so. He’d told me that he would do anything to help us work out. I had to trust him on that.

  A small voice in my head started to whisper about trust, but I shoved it back. Yeah, I’d forgiven Bianca, but it was hard to fully silence the doubts she’d planted in my head. I couldn’t be angry at her about that though.

  That was all me. The things I’d been swallowing down for a couple of months now, the dissatisfaction and sadness and loneliness, were bubbling over, no longer able to be ignored. I wanted West to look at me the way Gavin looked at Anna. I wanted him to crave me, and I just didn’t feel like he did. Which made me desperate for his attention sometimes, but a bit put off and frustrated other times. No wonder I was going so crazy about this.

  “You okay?” Anna asked, a frown creating a deep line in her brow. “You seem off.” She paused. “Did you and Bianca… Are you guys…”

  “We’re good,” I assured her. I saw her face relax. “We hashed everything out.”

  “That’s great.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “I didn’t want to make you guys fight it out in a cage or anything.”

  I laughed. “Pretty sure Bianca would kick my ass.” She was small but scrappy, and I had a suspicion she fought dirty. My mirth faded. “No, this isn’t about her. I’m just… To be honest, that argument brought up these negative feelings I have for West that I never let myself think about before.”

  She nodded, and her eyes grew sad for me. “It’s hard when you’re forced to face things you don’t want to.”

  “I don’t know how to shake this off,” I confessed. My lungs grew tight. “He’s made these plans for us for New Year’s Eve, but I’m afraid it won’t be enough to bridge the gap between us. And then it’ll be my fault we aren’t working because I didn’t try hard enough.”

  “If you’re meant to be together, it’ll work out. One romantic evening with him will reignite that spark.”

  “You think so?” I chewed on my thumbnail.

  “Absolutely.”

  My phone vibrated. I peered down at the text—I didn’t recognize the number.

  When are you available to meet? Kyle

  How had he gotten my number? And what did he want to see me about? “Sorry, I need to respond to this text,” I told Anna. My stomach flopped over itself as I responded, ASAP. All okay?

  Anna stood and chugged the rest of her coffee. “That’s okay. I gotta run—have to get some cleaning done around the house before I go to work with Bianca.” The two of them cleaned offices together a few evenings a week. She darted around the table and hugged me. “You okay? Do you need to talk more? I can stay if you want.”

  “No, no,” I protested as I waved her off. “Go. I’ll catch up with you later. Thanks for the pep talk.”

  Her smile was warm. She tugged her scarf tighter around her neck and slipped into her thick winter coat. “Anytime.” With a waggle of her fingers, she opened the café door, letting in a blast of cold air as she dashed down the sidewalk.

  My phone vibrated with a message. Just two words from Kyle: Come over.

  It was only Wednesday, a mere two days after I’d gone to his office. Surely he hadn’t gathered any evidence against West by now. Forty-eight hours wasn’t nearly long enough for that. Which meant he must have wanted to see me about something else.

  The butterflies in my stomach kicked into high gear. Okay, what the hell was that reaction all about? I wasn’t nervous about seeing him, was I? It was just Kyle. Egotistical, smart-mouthed Kyle.

  Attractive, egotistical, smart-mouthed Kyle.

  My thumbs fumbled over the letters as I tried to type my response, so I simply wrote OK and sent it. I donned my gear, dumped the trash and left the café. The sky was overcast with snow falling, and I stuck my tongue out and ate a few flakes. Snow coated my hair along the walk.

  I used the stroll to try to ease my nervousness and distract my mind. What could he possibly want to talk to me about? We’d barely exchanged more than a half dozen words for the most part before I’d gone to his office on Monday.

  My stomach gave a sudden lurch. What if he had somehow gotten evidence?

  No, I yelled at myself in my head. I stuffed my icy fingers in my coat pockets. If I was going to make this work with West, I had to trust him. Even if I was finding this strange negativity in myself that was making me highly uncomfortable.

  Before I realized it, I was on his street, coming up to the house. My steps slowed, and my heart knocked against my ribcage. I clenched my trembling hands and struggled to even out my breaths, which panted in small white puffs around my face.

  Relax. It’s all fine, I soothed myself.

  I stopped at the top of his steps and mentally dressed myself in Fearless Woman armor. No matter what this was about—West or Kyle or anyone else—it was going to be fine. I was probably psyching myself out over nothing.

  My bang on his door was probably too loud and hard, but whatever. I straightened my spine and lifted my chin as I waited for him to answer. A few deep breaths helped steady my racing heart.

  The door opened, and there was Kyle, his gaze raking over me. A look that hinted at a touch of attraction flared in his eyes, which surprised me and made my cheeks burn. No, that couldn’t be what I saw. He disliked me as much as I did him.

  “Come on in,” he said in a cool tone that reflected none of the stuff I’d thought I’d seen. Yeah, I’d definitely misread him.

  I stepped into his house and rubbed my fingers together then pressed my hands to my icy cheeks. Kyle walked through an open door, and I followed him to take a seat at a desk. The wooden surface was piled high with papers. I was pretty sure this guy had never cleaned off his desk.

  Kyle slipped into the chair behind the desk and stared at me in silence for a moment, which stretched on. His lips were pursed as he scrutinized my face.

  It was so hard to not fidget. Finally I blurted out, “What is it?”

  He nodded then dug into the pile to whip out a manila folder. There was no emotion on his face as he opened the folder and spun it around to face me. On top of the papers in there was a photograph of West talking at the dealership with his coworker, Coraline.

  My chest instantly loosened, and I huffed a sigh of relief. Leaning closer, I eyed the picture. West was a respectful distance away, his hands in the air, his mouth open mid-sentence. Coraline wasn’t dressed provocatively, nor was she doing anything inappropriate. There didn’t appear to be any chemistry between the two of them.

  Guilt, mingled with triumph, flooded my system. I was right…yet, I’d doubted
West. I felt ashamed of myself for letting Bianca’s suspicions stick to me.

  “See?” I said as I waved my hand at the photo. “Waste of time.”

  Without a word, he took the photo off the pile to show another photo. This one was a shot of West’s apartment, the windows open. My lungs squeezed to the size of grapes as I saw West with his arms around a woman with unmistakable red hair, wearing the same clothes as Coraline. He was kissing her neck.

  My pulse roared in my ears. Kyle spoke to me, but I couldn’t hear him. My brain screamed that maybe the picture was a fake, but even as I thought that, I knew it wasn’t true. West was a cheater—he’d conned me, made me think he cared when he was getting some on the side.

  “—take it personally,” Kyle was saying in his usual professional, unemotional tone. He closed the folder and spun it back around. “Happens all the time.”

  I could feel anger building in my chest, spreading through my limbs. My breaths came out short and fast, and my throat dried up. “I can’t believe this,” I managed to say. “I can’t believe he’d do this to me.”

  Kyle’s uncaring demeanor seemed to vanish for a moment. I saw genuine concern in his eyes as he studied me. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. But I felt you should know before I presented this evidence to Bianca, since it is your life. You might be surprised how often this happens,” he continued. “Probably half my caseload is finding out if a significant other is cheating. So far, I have a perfect record of nabbing evidence.”

  Suddenly, I saw red. The anger crested in me, and I clenched my fists. My skin was hot and itchy. All this time, I’d stuck my West’s side, defending him to my friends, telling myself they were wrong to judge him, to dislike him.

  I stood.

  “You okay?” His eyes narrowed as he studied me.

  “Fine,” I mumbled. I turned blindly and left his office.

  “Natalie,” I heard him say, but I didn’t look back. I walked out of the old Victorian home, down the steps, my feet taking me away from the photograph of West’s mouth on another woman’s skin.

  The walk to my car took no time at all. I got in and drove with deadly calm to the dealership, about ten minutes away. My hands were steady, my pulse even and strong. I’d reached that point of anger where all my emotions had shut off, leaving me a numb shell. It was the only way I could get through this.

  When I exited the car, I barely noticed the cold or the snow. I walked through the dealership’s massive glass doors toward West’s small office, right beside his dad’s corner office. He was leaning over his desk, dress shirt rolled up to mid-forearm, his overly ripped muscles flexing as he wrote.

  I stood in the doorway and waited for him to notice me. When he finally did, his eyes were bright with pleasure at first, a look that faded when he realized there was no smile on my face.

  “Babe, what’s wrong?”

  I closed the door behind me. As pissed as I was, I didn’t want to make a public scene. No need for gossip to spread across our small town. A tiny crack of my rage and hurt pierced my armor, and I spat out, “I can’t believe you. I friggin’ can’t believe you. You cheated on me? With Coraline?”

  His face went ghostly white, and he stood, held his hands out toward me as he stepped around the desk. “Okay, just stay calm because I can explain—”

  “No,” I barked, and he stopped in place. “I’ll be as angry as I want to be. You don’t get to tell me how to feel. You and I are done.”

  “But—”

  “I can’t believe you,” I continued right over top of him. More rage started to crack through my shell. I needed to get out of here soon before I lost my shit on him. With the way I was feeling, I was afraid I’d start throwing things. I curled my fingers into fists and tucked them at my sides. Dragged air into my painfully tight lungs. “You’re pathetic and awful, and I don’t even know you. How long has this been going on, anyway?”

  He paused, sucked in a breath through his nostrils and seemed to weigh his words. “Babe, look,” he started in a slow, careful drawl. The term of endearment made my skin crawl. “I was about to end it—honest. It was nothing more than a stupid…thing that happened at the sales conference in Cincinnati last month. I was lonely and exhausted and she was there, and…” He winced. “Anyway, I’d already decided to break it off with her because I want to be with you. Only you. The thing with me and her was a one-time incident.” He paused, his gaze hitting mine with a guilty flush darkening his cheeks. “And…okay, to be honest, we met to talk the other day, but that was it. I swear.”

  “Huh. Do you always ‘talk’ to people while sucking on their necks?” I asked, aware my voice was starting to grow hysterical.

  He winced again but didn’t respond. I could practically smell the hamsters in his brain running frantically in an effort to figure out what he could say in response to being busted.

  So their affair had started at the conference, according to him. Assuming he was telling the truth, of course. He and I hadn’t even come close to having sex in months. Was that why he’d chosen to screw some other chick?

  My stomach turned at the thought.

  “You know what?” I continued, disgust dripping from my voice. “I don’t want to know anything else about what happened. This is literally making me sick, and I need to get away from you before I throw up.” I turned away from him.

  West’s hand grabbed my arm, but I jerked it from his grasp.

  “Don’t you dare touch me,” I huffed in a low, deadly tone.

  “Wait. Don’t leave like this,” he begged. His eyes were wide, filled with pain. “Let’s talk. Please.”

  I opened the door and walked out into the dealership. Everything was shaking—my legs, my arms, my lower lip. Keep it together until you get in the car, I willed myself. I wasn’t going to lose it here. West didn’t deserve to see my hurt, my vulnerabilities anymore.

  I could hear him behind me, calling my name, but I kept walking faster. When I got to the car, his hand landed on top of the door to prevent me from opening it.

  “You have to listen to me,” he begged. “I was wrong, and I’m sorry, but I want to talk about this. We can still make this work, Natalie.”

  My emotion clumped in my throat, making it painfully tight. I swallowed, blinked, turned to face him one last time. “I don’t have to do jack shit,” I declared in a hot tone. “And don’t ever, ever talk to me again. I mean it. Leave me alone.” I yanked the door open, got in my car and sped out of the parking lot.

  A raw sob ripped out of me, and I didn’t hold it back this time, just let it out. By the time I reached the street, my cheeks were drenched with my tears.

  Chapter Six

  The ‘80s movie I was watching went to commercial break, and I stood and stretched the dull ache out of my lower back. My raggedy PJ pants slid down my hips as my arms went over my head. I tugged them back up my waist and eyed the disaster area formerly known as my living room.

  Chinese takeout boxes littered the surface of the coffee table, along with wads of tissues, two pints of scraped-clean chocolate ice cream containers and a half-empty bottle of wine. I’d made a nest of blankets and pillows on the corner of the couch. A glance at the kitchen showed dishes piled in the sink.

  I sighed and shuffled into the bathroom to splash water on my face. It had been a crappy day and a half since I’d dumped West, filled with crying and eating and sleeping and pretty much nothing else.

  I eyed my reflection and groaned. I looked like ass. My hair was in a tangled ponytail, and my skin was washed out. My eyes were still a bit puffy from my crying jag this morning, though all my tears had dried up by now. There were lines around my mouth, and the deep groove between my brows hadn’t gone away.

  I put moisturizer on my skin and went into my bedroom to sit on the edge of my bed. It was New Year’s Eve, and I was sitting at home in my ugliest jammies, eating yesterday’s leftovers and throwing myself one hell of a pity party.

  If I were honest, it wasn’t e
ven the breakup that was making me so devastated. It was that feeling of having been lied to by someone I’d believed in. The fact that this incident had shattered my trust.

  West and I had been growing apart for so long that I wasn’t missing him the way I should have. Still, this wasn’t how I’d envisioned things going with us.

  Now I was alone on a freaking holiday, looking like a hot mess.

  My fingers itched to reach for the phone, but I fought the urge. I wanted to call Bianca and Anna, but I knew what would happen—they’d both drop their plans and run over here to be with me. I couldn’t do that to them, especially since Bianca had a promising date lined up for tonight. And since she hadn’t called me yesterday or today in a rage about West, I could safely assume Kyle had decided to withhold the information from her until a later time.

  Thank God for something good in all this crap, I guess.

  No, I’d tell the two of them tomorrow about the cheating and the breakup. But I wasn’t going to ruin their special romantic nights. Not to mention I was still totally mortified about Bianca being right. She wasn’t the kind of person to rub it in my face, but I knew she’d be thinking, I told you so. I didn’t need a reminder of how wrong I’d been. I was living it.

  My phone buzzed with an incoming call. I peeked at the caller ID and groaned. West. Yet again. I’d been ignoring his almost nonstop calls. He’d even dropped by last night and banged on my door, but I hadn’t answered. Had just stayed quiet until he’d stomped away.

  Apparently his listening skills were as developed as his relationship skills—I’d told him to leave me alone. Righteous anger filled me, and I picked up my phone when his call ended. I selected his number and blocked it.

  There. Problem solved, at least for now. Something lightened in my heart just a fraction.

  I walked over to the window and stared at it. The snowfall had stopped, and the air was still. Oddly enough, the street was completely dark, no traffic at the moment. It was like time had frozen—right along with my life. I’d been holed up in this apartment since I’d left the dealership.