Bad Rules (A Wild Minds Novel)

by Charlotte West

  Liquid filled her eyes. “My milk’s drying up anyway. I’m only pumping an ounce now.”

  Any time I spied an opportunity to help a fellow woman, I was all over that shit. “If you self-express you might get more milk.”

  Daisy’s brow dipped. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” My brief training in becoming a doula included lactation support. “I can show you if you’d like.”

  Lix dropped his silverware. “My god, are you talking about milking her? Can I watch?”

  Billy’s upper lip lifted. “That’s my wife, asshole. If anyone’s going to watch, it’s going to be me.”

  Jett barked out a laugh, then attempted to turn it into a cough. Bunch of animals, all of them.

  Daisy bit her lip. “Um, I’m pretty sure that’s up to me.”

  “This conversation is making me super uncomfortable,” Addy murmured.

  I flashed my bestie my most reassuring smile.

  Suddenly, everyone’s phone started going nuts. Addy was the first to pull hers out. “Oh, no.” Her brow creased.

  “What is it, babe?” Warren asked, scrolling through his own phone.

  “Damn,” Derren whistled low.

  “Shit.” Warren shot up the same time as Ash. “Ash, brother, I’m sure it’s nothing.” His hands splayed.

  Lix hooted and slapped his palm against the table.

  Ash rushed forward, murder in his eyes. Warren intercepted, barely holding him back. “A little help here,” Warren asked.

  Jett wiped his mouth and stood along with Turner and Chord. Together the four blocked the raging man.

  “You’re a dead man.” Ash jabbed a finger in Lix’s direction.

  What the hell? I snatched up Addy’s phone. I’d left mine at the house. Two familiar faces appeared on the screen. My palms began to sweat. I felt my face leach of color. Lix and I were exiting the superstore. Our heads were down, his arm planted firmly around my hip, a pack of onesies fisted in my hand.

  In the dining room, noise surrounded me. Lix and Ash shouting at each other. But I couldn’t process their words. I scrolled down. Big, bold letters exclaimed: Who is Felix Hernandez’s newest girlfriend?

  I read on.

  The beautiful blonde and playboy bassist were seen shopping at a local Target. Sources say the couple entered the store incognito. Felix wore a hat and kept his head down. They perused for a while before choosing a package of onesies. Could the two be expecting? If so, this will be the first child for Felix Hernandez, a confirmed bachelor since his last relationship with actress Jennifer Morgan ended after cheating rumors.

  “He seemed really happy,” a shopper who followed the couple said. “They were flirting and stuff.”

  So who is the gorgeous blonde that caught Felix’s attention? Nobody seems to know. We reached out to the band’s publicist, Maxine Martin, who refused to comment. No surprise there. Wild Minds has kept a low profile these last few years after Warren Price eloped with Billy Wanks’s daughter, Addison Wanks.

  Despite my abject terror, I took a moment to take offense on Addy’s behalf. Too often, the media described women in relation to the men in their lives.

  We interviewed Target’s manager, Jim Pullman. “We don’t get many celebrities in here, so we weren’t ready for the crowd they drew.” Mr. Pullman promised the next time Felix and his mystery girl want to shop, he’d have the right security. He also mentioned the two didn’t pay for the onesies. But he’s not looking to collect. “A gift from Target to the happy couple,” he said. “Congratulations.”

  I set the phone down. My stomach rolled. I knew someday my face might appear in the papers alongside Addy or the band. You hang out with superstars and you expect the attention. What I hadn’t anticipated was being front-page news. I was the sidekick, not the lead.

  “You know, if you’re expecting,” Billy chimed in, eyes landing meaningfully on my glass of wine. “You shouldn’t be drinking. Why, when Daisy was pregnant even I gave up the booze.”

  Turner’s face screwed up. “That’s not true. You drank that Skinny Girl shit all the time.”

  “That don’t count,” Jett muttered. Both still held Ash back. Neither seemed the least bit disturbed. Fights, drunken late nights, pregnancy scandals—all regular occurrences when you’re living the rock-star lifestyle. Only I wasn’t a rocker. I was a girl from Beaverton, Oregon. None of this was normal.

  “That was supposed to private. You promised you wouldn’t tell!” Billy’s fist slammed down on the table in mock outrage.

  Daisy giggled. “Relax, honey. Nobody’s going to judge you because you like Skinny Girl margaritas.”

  “I don’t like them. I like the woman behind them. She’s smart. A real go-getter. I support small businesses, that’s all.”

  Daisy patted his arm. “Sure you do.”

  Billy huffed. “She does make a mean lime margarita.”

  “Enough!” Ash barked.

  “I agree.” Billy sucked his teeth, took a drink of water, and stood. “You twats are ruining my family dinner. Let’s all have a seat. Don’t want to miss the main course. It’s surf and turf. Cost me an arm and a leg to get the lobsters imported from Maine.” Extravagance could’ve been Billy’s middle name.

  Warren pushed Ash. “C’mon, bro. Let’s sit down. Take a minute and think. No way Lix knocked up Lily.”

  “Yeah.” Ash gathered himself. “You’re right. Guy’s probably used so much hand sanitizer it’s rendered him infertile.”

  “Says you,” Lix snorted. “I have superior sperm. I could impregnate a chick from across the room.” This was followed by a lewd hip thrust.

  I curled my fingers into my palms. My heart pounded. I’d been exposed. My face was all over the web. Soon my name would follow. Goodbye anonymity. I’d witnessed Addy’s struggles growing up with a famous father and now married to a famous rocker. I didn’t know how to cope.

  Everyone returned to their seats like nothing had happened. I balled the napkin in my lap and placed it on the table. “Excuse me,” I said, my voice breathless. My legs felt watery as I stood. “Be right back.” Wisely, no one tried to stop me. The hike to the bathroom took fifteen seconds. I know because I counted. Once inside, I closed the door. No lock. No problem. I’d blockade the room with my body. I slid down to the floor.

  Seconds later, a knock. “Lily?” Addy had come calling. “You okay?”

  “Just a minute,” I called through the door. My voice and my hands shook. Get it together.

  “You don’t sound okay. Are you worried because Lix and Ash are fighting?” That was the least of my problems. Although I was semiconcerned about the band’s discord. No way would I be responsible for breaking up Wild Minds. I wouldn’t be their Yoko Ono. Which is such bullshit anyway. It’s always the woman’s fault.

  “Come on out, Crazy.” Oh, Lix had come too. Wonderful. “It’s not as bad as it seems.”

  I rested my head against the door. Someone pushed, forcing the door to crack an inch, and my body slid accordingly.

  “Get away from the fucking door, Lily,” Ash demanded. Well, I certainly wasn’t going to do it now. I had this annoying habit of almost always automatically doing the opposite of what someone demanded I do. What can I say? It’s a talent.

  “As the future father of her child, I should be the one speaking to her,” said Lix. More pushing on the door.

  “Christ, Lix. I don’t have time for your bullshit right now.”

  A scuffle, then Warren spoke. “Fuck, Ash. Stop trying to hit him.” Pause. “Lix, keep your trap shut. Next time I’m going to let him go.”

  “Let me talk to the girl. She needs a father figure.” Billy now.

  I groaned. The hallway was certainly becoming crowded. I unfolded my body from the floor. The door stayed closed. All the commotion and they’d failed to notice my weight lifting from it. I splashed some water on my face, then took a moment, a deep breath or two, and swung open the door. Nobody noticed. Addy had been corralled to the side. All thes
e men standing round, discussing what was best for me. I’d had enough. I put two fingers in my mouth and let loose a whistle. As far as whistles went, mine was top notch. High pitched, loud, and most importantly, it garnered everyone’s attention.

  “Hi.” I did my best impression of a smile.

  “Lily.” Addy pushed her way through the towering bands. She caught me in a tight hug. “They don’t even know your name. This will all blow over by tomorrow. You’ll see. The press has a short attention span. I’m sure another celebrity divorce is right around the corner. The best thing we can do is ignore it.”

  I squeezed her back and let her go. Even in my state, I didn’t want her to worry. The last thing she needed was to fret over me. I put on my bravest face. “You’re right. How much worse can it get?”

  In fact, things could get much worse. Must have been a slow-news week. Every night I prayed a celeb entered rehab or went to court in a messy custody battle. Rumors of Lix and a secret love child with a blonde bombshell gained the strength and speed of a T. Rex running downhill.

  Paps took up residence outside Addy’s house. A gardener leaked that’s where I was hiding. Some people will do anything for money. Though I couldn’t really blame him. He didn’t know me from Adam. To expect his loyalty felt unreasonable and privileged. That being said, I was still ticked. Mostly because I’d been sequestered. I couldn’t even enjoy the patio without a helicopter flying over trying to get shots.

  Things between Lix and Ash hadn’t improved either. It didn’t help that Lix seemed to be enjoying the attention, especially as it riled Ash up.

  “I’ve brought you more books,” Lix announced, stepping into Addy’s living room. Addy smiled, attention diverted from her favorite show, Real Housewives of something or other. A stack of books landed in front of me on the coffee table. Goodness, it looked as if he’d bought out the store on pregnancy books. “Made sure the paps saw me coming in with these.” This all seemed to be a little game to him.

  “Oh, I’ve been meaning to get this one.” Addy held up a book with a red cover and three smiling babies on the front.

  “Little fucker,” Ash swore. He occupied the dining table behind me, all sullen and scowly. We’d taken to giving each other the silent treatment. Progress, I thought. I was no longer actively trying to strangle the man. We lived together but didn’t acknowledge one another’s existence. Group reactions ranged from uncomfortable to amused to mostly annoyed.

  “That’s not what your mom said last night,” Lix jabbed, then frowned. “I’m just showing Lily my support. I’m an excellent theoretical baby daddy.”

  Ash made a disgruntled noise.

  “Addy, would you please ask Ash to stop breathing so loudly? I can’t hear the television,” I said.

  “Addy, would you please ask Lily to slouch down a little. Her big head is in the way of the screen,” Ash grouched.

  Lix rallied to my defense. “Don’t listen to him, Crazy. You’ve got a beautiful, perfectly shaped head. Although I hope our baby doesn’t inherit it. For your sake and theirs, of course. I’d hate to watch you push a melon out.”

  A lemon flew across the room. “She’s not pregnant,” Ash said.

  Lix turned, fruit bouncing off his arm. So much for Addy’s decorative centerpiece. I’d watched her at the grocery store, perusing the lemons for twenty minutes. This wasn’t a pregnancy quirk. It was an Addison quirk. She liked things just so.

  “Dudes.” Warren sighed. He’d wandered in a while ago, saw what we were watching, collapsed on the couch, and closed his eyes.

  My knees bounced. I chewed my thumb. I didn’t like being confined. Open spaces and I got along like a house on fire. Being cooped up made me one cranky bitch (it was okay when I said it).

  “Much like your constitution, your arm is weak.” Lix picked up the lemon and bit into it, rind and all.

  “You’re such a fucking weirdo,” Ash said.

  Lix shrugged. His confidence was bulletproof. “Takes one to know one.”

  “You guys are all a bunch of immature assholes,” Warren said, eyes still closed. “Go somewhere else. My wife needs peace and quiet.”

  I jumped from the couch. “I’m going for a walk.” Fuck the paps. I needed air. Fresh air.

  “Honey, I’m not sure it’s safe,” Addy said gently.

  All the wind left my sails. She was right. As much as I wanted to go out there and give the press the middle finger, I couldn’t.

  “Just a little more time. We’ll be in Europe soon. The press isn’t nearly as bad there,” Addy reassured. We were leaving that night. A red-eye to London.

  “Better go finish packing then.”

  “I’ll come with you.” Lix moved to my side. “Gotta make sure my baby mama doesn’t lift anything too heavy. You could be carrying the next Jaco Pastorius or John Entwistle.”

  “A man who died provoking bar fights and another who overdosed on cocaine. Excellent.” I indulged the man’s pregnancy fantasies. Mostly because it seemed to irritate Ash.

  Ash growled but didn’t hurl anything else. The lemons were safe, for now.

  “It’s always been my dream to have five or six little Felix’s running around,” he said on our way out.

  “What about girls?” I asked.

  “A little Felixina would be welcome.” He nudged me. “And I’d dress her only in NASA T-shirts.”

  Lix could be really sweet sometimes.

  “Hey, wait for me.” Addy waddled up, hands supporting her lower back. “Ash is in a terrible mood now,” she chastised Lix. “Why do you insist on riling him up?”

  “Guy needs to get his head out of his ass,” Lix stated. “Doesn’t know a good thing when it’s right in front of him.” His attention turned to me. “You don’t either.” I scoffed at that. “You two are so much alike, and you can’t even see it. I’m going to make him fight for you,” he promised, placing a hand over his heart. “I’m going to make all your dreams come true. Consider me your fucking fairy godmother.”

  Then

  The bar was packed. Music pumped through terrifyingly large speakers. We were in Ibiza, Spain. The band had decided to splurge on a fancy resort. Addy and I were reaping the benefits. I was at the bar, squeezed between Lix and Ash. Three shots warmed my belly already. Addy had snuck off to call her father.

  A slow song started to play. Ash pulled me onto the dance floor. Lix made an obscene gesture with his tongue and fingers. I smiled at the bassist. Over the past few weeks, we’d grown close. The blond giant had a wicked-bad case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I’d won his affection when I helped organize his suitcase by clothing type, then color.

  The bar had a similar feel to the one where Asher and I first hooked up, way back in Frankfurt. Only a couple months had passed, but it seemed like a lifetime. We were in our own little bubble, floating high above everything else, ready to pop at the first sign of a rough breeze. I grinned, spying a dark hallway. I had an inkling where it led. I darted ahead of Asher, guiding him toward the bathroom with a crook of my finger. This seemed oddly romantic to me. We were about to relive the good old days.

  The door shut with a quiet snick. The bathroom was much nicer than the one in Frankfurt—a big mirror with chrome-encased lights, below that a concrete slab countertop and a porcelain square sink—sexy, sleek, and modern.

  We didn’t talk. We didn’t need to. We knew what each other wanted. Asher kissed me slow and wet. It turned out I liked kissing a whole lot, and cuddling, as long as it was with the right person. His hands slid down my body, fingers stroking, finding exposed flesh. I wore a teeny-tiny pair of leather shorts and a white V-neck tee. I felt a tingling sensation everywhere he touched. Electric, I was hardwired for him.

  “Let me eat you out.” He palmed my ass, pressing me against his hardness. At the same time, he maneuvered me toward the counter. Another thing I loved… no, liked, about Asher, his favorite pastime was going down on me. I’d never met another man who had such an appetite for girly bits. As
her’s hard length pressed into my abdomen. My blood surged. I squeezed my legs together. The man was sexual napalm. He destroyed me. I smiled and backed out of Asher’s embrace, playacting shyness.

  Ash’s eyes narrowed. “You’re wet for me, Lily. Hop up on the counter, let me eat that pretty pussy.” Despite the well-air-conditioned bathroom, my face burned hot. Asher closed the distance between us, his teeth nipping at my earlobe, then his tongue lapping at my collarbone. Animal. I wouldn’t have him any other way.

  I ran my hands up under his shirt, caressing his abs. He tugged on my hair, forcing my neck to tilt. He took possession of my mouth. I slipped my hand between our bodies, palming his huge cock through his jeans. He broke the kiss and threw his head back, a groan escaping his lips. I pushed and took a step back, and then I sank to my knees.

  He arched a single brow. “Here?”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “Seems like as good a place as any.”

  “I was going to do you.” He out and out grinned. “But if you insist.” He leaned back, letting the counter take his weight.

  “Hush,” I gently admonished, undoing his belt buckle. “Your talking is ruining the moment.”

  His pupils dilated. His nostrils flared. “Fuck, sweetheart, I’ll never speak again.”

  With a flick of my fingers, I unbuttoned his fly. He popped out, long and hard and ready. I took him in hand. His hands fisted at his sides, and he made a noise at the back of his throat. My thumb caressed the velvety tip. “Have I ever told you how much I love your cock?” I murmured.

  “Jesus.”

  “It’s perfect, you know? Soft and hard at the same time. I especially like this vein that runs down the underside.” To demonstrate how much I liked it, I licked said vein. He made another sound at the back of his throat, like he was being strangled. Drowning in desire.

  “Fuck, don’t stop, Lil.” I peered up at him. His head was thrown back. A muscle jumped in his jaw. I squeezed the base of his cock, then dragged the flat of my tongue down the length. A bead of salty cum collected on the head. I licked that away. I was ever so clean. His body was so still, but every inch of him was tense, as if he was holding himself back. That wouldn’t do. I took all of him in my mouth. I wanted to make him feel all the things he made me feel—crazy, adored, wanted. Everything I couldn’t say, I put into that blowjob. Kind of twisted, I know, but normal is overrated. I sucked and massaged, and Asher swore quite savagely. His hips kicked forward, and he pumped into my mouth.