The Noble Fool

by Heath Pfaff

  Malice's face may have softened to some minor degree, but she still looked fearsome to me. "I was fine. The wounds were not nearly as bad as everyone believed. I already had my ability to heal, and though the wound hadn't closed up, I was in no real danger. It was my balance that cost me the injury in the first place. I owed it to myself to better my skills."

  Lithe raised an eyebrow. "There are many who would say that any wound on a Knight of Ethan that is still bleeding after a full day of healing is one which deserves special care. I would be inclined to agree."

  Malice sighed, obviously exasperated with her fellow Knight. I was smiling inwardly. Malice was a complex person. She was soft and tender, encased a shell of hardness and emotional severity that was difficult to chip away. I almost hoped that she and Lithe would continue to argue, as it offered some insight into Malice's past that I was lacking. Malice ended the argument, though with a forceful declaration. "Fine." She snapped. "I'll not chastise you, Lowin, for doing some training, but you will do no more today and may only do more tomorrow if Merrywin gives you the clear after she checks on you this evening. Do you understand me?" She was looking at me with her jet black eyes, and they left no room for negotiation. I nodded quickly, not interested in raising her ire any more than I had already. Whatever else she might be, Malice was a friend and I had few enough of those without angering the ones I had. After a moment she added, "Are we clear, Lithe?"

  Lithe smiled his answer, and Malice frowned in a way which made her very attractive face much less so. When she smiled, it was pure beauty but when she scowled it was something else entirely. She snapped around and walked away and I jumped down from the practice poles and began the short walk back to my room. I was not eager to return to the empty, quiet space of my building. There was little for me to do there but think of all the things I didn't wish to ponder. Much against my better judgment, my mind was already beginning to wander once again back to so many of things troubling me. Silent was still lost. I wanted to ask Malice about that, to see if there were any updates on his situation. However, I wasn't supposed to know he was missing so I couldn't very well ask Lithe or one of the others. I would need to go see Malice at some point and talk to her alone.

  Kye's time was growing shorter and I didn't know how short it was. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know exactly how little time remained, but at the same time I was terrified not to know. I wondered what Kyeia spent her days doing, if she worried as much as I did about everything that was happening. I never thought to ask her when we were together because there always seemed to be something else to do or talk about. I suspected that we both were simply doing our best to avoid talking about that which troubled us the most. Did it do us any good to dwell on the negative reality of the situation? I didn't believe so.

  My lunch was waiting for me in my room when I arrived but I left it for the time being so that I might get a bath and scrub away the grime of training. The water was warm and relaxing and I used it to make sure my wounds were as clean as I could get them, though putting water on the fresh cuts made them burn with a renewed ferocity. I found a certain solace in the pain and I lost myself in it for a short time. It is a strange thing, pain, that it can so remove you from the present and envelope you in its world. I felt it probably didn't reflect well on me that I'd rather be lost in physical pain than dwell on the rest of my life. That was the way of cowards, I realized. It was easy to look for ways to avoid problems, but what I really needed to do was find a way to face those problems. I might not be able to defeat them but I must at least be willing to accept them. Recognizing that truth was easy, achieving the realization of the recognition was another matter entirely. I knew that if I couldn't find a way to move forward, past the anguish that was consuming my heart, I might never be the man that Kye and the others wanted me to be. I owed them far too much to defeat myself before I had even started.

  "I will be stronger, Kye," I said to the empty bathing room, and to myself. "I have to be better. I will be better." The echo of my voice did little to strengthen my resolve.

  Three days went by and though Kye did manage to come back to visit me again, she came under the watchful gaze of another of her people. The visit was brief, and when it was over I was left feeling little better than I had before she'd come. My wounds, though, were healing well. The stitches were out already and the knitting of my flesh was complete, though the scars that ran their course across my countenance were bright red and ugly. I knew that in time they would fade to pink, and then to white and I would have some semblance of normality to my appearance. What alarmed me the most was the speed with which my body had closed the vicious cuts. Even with the salve Merrywin had provided, I should have taken much longer to recover from the damage inflicted upon me by Wisp's claws. I was changing, and I knew that it was a result of my connection to Kyeia. Part of my improvement through training was for the same reason, I was aware. Despite my hard work, I should not have come so far, so quickly, on my own. I was getting stronger, faster, and becoming more tuned to my bodies most subtle workings. Years of training may have done the same thing without help but in a little over four months I had improved beyond reason. I was still no match for any of the full Knights of Ethan, but most normal people would have been hard pressed to outrun me, outfight me, or outmaneuver me. It was difficult to be proud of the power I'd obtained, knowing that it was not all from my hard work, more difficult still knowing the ultimate price to be paid.

  Looking out my small window, I realized that it was still dark outside. I guessed there to be four or more hours until dawn would begin creeping over the horizon but I was finished sleeping, I wasn't tired, and my mind was racing. I pushed myself up in bed, grabbed my clothes, and threw them on hastily, deciding that I would use my wakefulness to go speak to Malice. I didn't know if she would be awake or not, but I needed to talk to her, and I had the time to do so. I stepped out through the door to my building and walked past Lithe. He fell in behind me, and I realized that he would likely follow me all the way into Malice's office if I let him. I was too troubled to come up with a good excuse, so I decided I would just try the truth.

  "I'm going to see Malice, Lithe. I have a personal matter I must discuss with her." I said by way of explanation.

  He shrugged, "I will walk you to her residence and then wait outside. It is my duty, after all."

  I nodded, realizing that was the biggest concession I would get from the stolid knight. "Thank you," I told him, and continued on my way across the Fell Rock compound. True to his word, Lithe waited at the door as I entered the building housing Malice's private quarters. I walked directly to the door I knew led to her bedroom as I didn't think she would be working in her office so late at night. Before I even knocked on the door, it swung open and I found myself face to face with an angry looking Malice, though her features softened when she saw it was me. Her hair was down, though her Lucidil Cloak was about her shoulders. She stepped through the door frame, looking both ways, but seeing that it was just me she relaxed even further.

  "I heard you coming. Your steps are too heavy. What can I do for you, Lowin?" She said, stepping back from her door and gesturing for me to come in.

  I stepped into her bedroom, ignoring her criticism of my movement, taking note that her bed was still made and that there was a candle burning at the desk, an opened book lying upon it. "I wanted to talk with you." I began. "It's difficult to do so during the day, and I couldn't sleep tonight. I hope I'm not bothering you." The last was an apology, which I figured was owed any time one intruded on someone else in what was, technically, the middle of the night.

  "No," She replied. "The Knights of Ethan do not have much need of sleep. More than two or three hours of rest in a night is nearly too much sleep. I fill my waking hours with reading and honing my skills." I heard a shuffle of material and looked around to see her removing her cloak and sword belt. Other than those two items, she was wearing only her long shirt, laced up the front, just as it had been that night a f
ew weeks before. Despite my physical excitement, a natural response I had little control over, tonight I did not desire such an intimacy and I think Malice sensed that. She sat down on her bed and pulled her blankets about her. I was amazed at how youthful and innocent she looked wrapped in the blankets from her bed. I put the thought aside.

  "Has there been any word on Silent?" I asked, for that was the easiest of the many questions that plagued my mind. Many of the others I feared to ask, particularly the one that had been the driving force behind me coming to see my mentor.

  Malice shook her head. "He is still missing, and despite a rigorous combing of the area, we still haven't found any signs of his passing. Our best trackers have looked, and it's as though he simply vanished into the night. We even went through his private quarters, hoping to find some clue to his whereabouts, but everything in his room was as it should be. If he left intentionally, he didn't take any of the supplies one would assume a warrior would take for the road. All of his weapons and all of his extra clothing are in their proper places."

  That news did little to ease my mind. If anything, I was now more worried than ever before about my quiet friend. I had hoped that he had merely deserted the Knights, as grim a possibility as that might have been, at least I would have known that he was alive and well somewhere. More and more I was beginning to question if that were so. If there had been foul play, who could have been responsible? Those at Fell Rock were all trusted servants of the king, but foul play would suggest that some were not as trustworthy as they seemed. Assuming that worst case scenario, and assuming that someone had betrayed the king and the Knights, the next question would have to be, "Who would have the power to abduct or murder a Knight without leaving any trace?" I voiced my concerns to Malice.

  "I've thought of that. The only conclusion I could come to, was that the one responsible must be another, powerful, Knight of our order. That is not a thought I relish. If one of our own has turned against us, does that not imply that others might as well?" Malice's voice was agitated, nervous. "I'm hoping that is not the case." I nodded my agreement, deciding it was time to change the subject. The next question I had was one that I did not want to ask. I hesitated, caught on the cusp of forcing the words out. I needed to ask the question, but I so feared the answer that I sat in silence, chewing at my newly healed lower lip.

  "What is it you need to ask, Lowin? We have worked together for four months now and I can tell when something is troubling you." Malice probed, and it was only through her probing that I finally forced myself to ask the question I feared most of all, the one that had driven me to come to her in the first place.

  "How much longer does Kyeia have?" I wasn't sure if Malice would have an answer, but if she did, I needed to know. The uncertainty was tearing me apart. I sat awake in my room most nights, pondering the question, and telling myself repeatedly that it didn't matter how much time was left, I should simply enjoy what I had. I would have had more success telling my heart to cease beating.

  Malice seemed to shrink back into her bedding a little. She turned her eyes away from mine, looking at the wall, the floor, anywhere but at me. "I thought you might ask that, you know. The minute I saw you at my door, I suspected you might be here for that very question." Her evasion made me worry even more. Could the time be down to just a matter of weeks, I wondered? When she spoke again, she spoke hesitantly. "She has two, maybe three days, Lowin. There is a certain timing to it, though I know not how it's figured. Kyeia told me when she came to check on you today. I had hoped you wouldn't ask."

  The color fled my face and for a moment I thought my heart might stop after all, or break into a thousand pieces from pure sorrow. I remembered to take a breath and found that I had not been breathing for too long and my head swam. "Th... there was sup... supposed to be at least another week." I stammered.

  Malice looked at me, and her eyes were full of sympathy, "The binding process has gone far faster for you two than it has for any other Knight and Bound One in the past. We all thought there would be more time."

  I couldn't do anything, couldn't say anything. I forced myself to get mechanically to my legs and stepped towards the door, any other questions I may have had were gone now. There was a flash of motion from my peripheral vision and Malice was then behind me, the bedding still falling back into place on the bed where she had left it. "Are you going to be alright, Lowin?" She asked, her hand on my shoulder. "You can stay here if you need to." The invitation, meant in the best possible way, I knew, only made my heart ache worse. I felt that taking any comfort from Malice, whether it was simply being held, or the full lust of physical passion, would be the greatest betrayal of Kyeia possible.

  I shook my head. "I must go, but I'll be on the practice field in a few hours. I'll see you then." I pushed the words out through my tears, not letting my voice waver at all. The hallway and the walk back to my own room passed in a blur. Lithe said nothing to me the entire time, and whether he sensed how troubled I was, or was quiet for another reason I did not know, but I was happy for it just the same. I didn't want to try and force myself to hold a reasonable conversation. When I finally reached my bed, I lay quietly and stared up at the ceiling. A trickle of tears fell from my eyes, but there was no great release as I'd had in the past. I forced the sadness from me, knowing that Kye would be aware of it, and instead I grabbed on to my feelings for her, and made myself embrace every happy moment we'd shared together. For the rest of the night, I decided, I would concentrate only on the best aspects of our time together. She would not feel any more heartache from me. As I sat, remembering our short time together, wrapping myself in the warmth of those times, I felt a similar heat flowing back into me from some distance away. Wherever Kye was, she was remembering with me.

  Over the next two days training became everything in my world. I pushed myself as hard as I reasonably could, and when I was worn to the point of exhaustion, I forced myself further. When the day ended, and Malice forced me to return to my room for the night, a troubled look about her features, I ran my way back to my room hoping beyond hope that Kye might be there. I didn't sleep through the nights, but sleep didn't seem important anymore. A few hours of sleep sufficed to get me ready to go, yet another indication of my agitated state and the near completion of the bond between Kye and me. As I sat alone, waiting for Kyeia to come to me, I concentrated, focusing on all the happiness I'd felt in my time with her and often I would feel the returned thoughts from her, wherever she might be. In a way, it was like being with her. Time still passed too quickly.

  It was late the on the second day after I'd spoken to Malice in her room that the Knights of Ethan came for me. I recognized two of the three that showed up that night, but the other was new to me. The two I did recognize I didn't know well enough to identify by name. They all looked very similar beneath their shifting cloaks but I could point out the subtle differences that the average person wouldn't notice. One had mid-length brown hair, tied loosely back, a kind face, and seemed near my own age, though judging the actual age of Knights was impossible. I guessed her to be young though, she smiled nervously at me as the three of them crammed themselves into my tiny room. The man nearest me, the one I didn't recognize, was about my own height with short, dark hair. His features were hard, and I sensed in him an emotional fortitude that denied all joy in his life. He was the sort who'd never crack a smile and probably only laughed when he was swinging his sword. The other Knight had long blond hair that hung in wispy strands about his face. He seemed thin to the point of gauntness and there was a haunted look about his features. I sensed no ill intent from any of the three but at the same time there was an air of turmoil in the room that was so thick it made me feel as though I would choke. I had some idea of what was happening, though I wasn't supposed to, and that forbidden knowledge put me on edge.

  There was a calming emotion channeling towards me from some distance away. Kye was aware of what was happening too, and she was trying to project her calm on to me. I f
elt my breath coming in ragged drags. I got to my feet and my knees felt weak beneath me. Still, the calming flow poured into me, and helped abate the chaos that threatened to burst free from me at any moment.

  "Lowin," The fierce, stone faced one spoke for the three assembled Knights. "Tonight, you are to rise to Knighthood. Come with us." The way it was phrased, telling me I was to "rise to Knighthood," it almost seemed like something good was about to happen. If I hadn't known the truth, perhaps I would have been excited instead of terrified. If it wasn't for Kye's constant rhythm of calming thoughts and feelings, I may have tried to bolt from the room, but she steadied me enough that I was able to step forward to follow the three Knights. The female Knight and the gaunt Knight each took one of my arms. The girl's hands were those of a human woman, but the gaunt Knight had dragon-scaled claws that fastened like a vice about my right bicep.

  I had never asked exactly what was to happen, or how the process of taking Kye's eyes, and life, would be carried out. I hadn't wanted to know, but now I found that I did. She was going to die and I wanted to know that they would make it as painless as possible. I wanted to know that at least she wouldn't die terrified and screaming. I believed that they wouldn't allow such thing, for cruelty of such a nature should never be allowed, no matter what the gain. This ritual of murder and power was terrible enough, without such a heavy burden as that being leveled at the future Knight. Kyeia's calm was still radiating. I grasped on to that, holding it as tightly as I would have held her had she been there. "I love you, Kye." I repeated the words again and again in my mind, not even paying attention to where the Knights were leading me. When I finally did notice my surroundings again, we were already inside the big manor house, heading down a flight of stairs into a dark, stone walled area that I guessed to be below ground.