To Be a Man

by Anne Schraff

  “Baby,” Vanessa commented, stroking Trevor’s head. “You’re so deep in thought.”

  Trevor was glad when four new customers came in, demanding Vanessa’s attention. Still, he enjoyed seeing her bustling around. He wanted to take her up on her offer. He wanted to come over to the shop at six and then go to her place and have some fun.

  Even though Ma had softened considerably since her breakfast with Jaris’s mother, Trevor knew she would not approve of Trevor’s going to Vanessa’s place tonight—or ever. Ma was dead set against Vanessa Allen. Trevor knew the old angry frown would come back quickly if she learned that Trevor had been seeing Vanessa behind her back.

  “But Ma won’t find out,” Trevor thought. If he played his cards right, he could have some fun with Vanessa and still not anger Ma.

  Trevor worked part-time at the Chicken Shack, where Jaris worked almost every night. Trevor earned a few dollars, and he turned most of them over to his mother. He didn’t begrudge her that help. He was just sorry he couldn’t give her more.

  But now the job at the Chicken Shack seemed to offer an answer to Trevor’s dilemma. He didn’t work on Monday night unless there was a sudden need, like another employee getting sick. Jaris worked Monday night, and all Trevor had to do was ask Jaris to cover for him in case Ma asked.

  Trevor got more and more excited about tonight as he finished his mango peach yogurt. He smiled at Vanessa.

  Her lips mouthed the words, “Are we on tonight, babe?”

  Trevor nodded. He felt both excitement and fear. He took out his cell phone and called Jaris. “Hey man, you working at the Chicken Shack tonight, right?” Trevor asked.

  “Yeah, why?” Jaris asked.

  “Uh, I got a chance to hang with Vanessa for a couple hours,” Trevor explained, “and I’m uh . . . telling Ma they need me at the Chicken Shack. You know, I don’t like lying to Ma, but she’d never want me to be with Vanessa, but Vanessa’s okay. So would you back me up if, you know, anybody asks?”

  “Hey dude, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Jaris responded.

  “We’re brothers, right?” Trevor said, hanging up. He knew Jaris would get his back even if he didn’t agree with what Trevor was doing. Jaris would never sell him out. He just wouldn’t. Trevor knew Jaris well enough to know that. They always had each other’s backs. It was a loyalty as deep as a blood bond.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “Ma, I usually don’t work at the Chicken Shack on Mondays, but tonight they’re going to need me. I’ll make a little extra money,” Trevor told his mother when he got home.

  “When you gettin’ home, boy?” Ma asked.

  “Uh, about eleven,” Trevor replied.

  “You want me to come pick you up? I’ll be home by then,” Ma offered. “My car is runnin’ real good now.”

  “No Ma,” Trevor declined, “the guy who manages the place can drop me home.”

  “You sure?” Ma asked, her brow furrowing with worry., “I don’t want you runnin’ around in the dark when all the no-goods are on the street.”

  “Honest Ma, I’ll be fine,” Trevor assured her. He wasn’t feeling good about this, but he so wanted to be with Vanessa. He had never lied to his mother on any important issue, and he felt guilty. If his mother knew he was going to see Vanessa Allen, she would freak. Yet Trevor was doing it anyway. He was going against what she would want in a big way.

  Trevor argued with himself furiously. One voice within him said, “Man, you’re sixteen years old. You’re a junior in high school. You shouldn’t have to report to your mother about the girls you’re going out with. It’s none of her business. Dude! You’re sixteen! You’re almost a man. You look like a man. You’re six feet tall. You drive a car when one’s available. None of your friends have to confess every detail of their social lives to their parents. Even Jaris—good guy that he is—keeps secrets from his parents. He never shared with them some of his narrow escapes. Who does?”

  But then he heard another voice. “Trevor, man, your mom has led a dog’s life. She’s got no life outside of working at that terrible job. She gets it from all sides. She’s never had a vacation. She freaked out in gratitude when Mrs. Spain bought her breakfast. She’s forty-five years old and some lousy pancakes are the highlight of her life. She owns one decent dress. All she wants out of life is to have good, obedient children who grow up to be good men. She doesn’t like Vanessa Allen, and you should respect that. What kind of a girl drops out of school at sixteen and moves away from her family? Dropouts are people like B.J. Brady, who went from drug dealing to murder and ended up dying in a police chase. Dropouts are those kids with glazed looks hanging on street corners with no future. Why would any good kid want to date a high school dropout?’

  Trevor didn’t care. All he could think of was Vanessa’s beautiful eyes and her wondrous red hair. He kept feeling her fingers on his arm—soft, like velvet. He tingled with excitement at the thought of her. No girl had ever made him feel that way before.

  “Well, see you later, Ma,” Trevor yelled as he went out the door. The Chicken Shack and the Ice House were both within easy walking distance of his home and in the same direction. As Trevor headed in that direction, it was still light and would be for another hour. Tonight, around eleven, Vanessa’s sister would drive him home and nobody would be the wiser.

  After all, Trevor thought, he wasn’t doing something outrageous. Vanessa and he’d just watch a rented movie and eat popcorn. What was more innocent than that? Maybe he’d snuggle a little with Vanessa if she wanted to. No big deal. Jaris and Sereeta were always walking hand in hand and kissing each other under the eucalyptus trees.

  It was a few minutes to six when Trevor arrived at the Ice House. Through the window he could see that the shop was pretty crowded, and there were a few kids from Tubman, but none that Trevor knew well. Ryann Kern and her parents were there, buying yogurt in a gallon carton. Ryann was a strange girl who had gotten into trouble at Tubman High by pretending she had money snatched from her purse. She didn’t get along with most of the other kids. While Trevor was waiting, he spotted the big green Volvo that Sereeta’s grandmother drove into the parking lot. When Sereeta and her grandmother came out of the shop, talking to one another, Trevor moved around the corner of the building to avoid being seen.

  In the rear of the shop, Vanessa Allen had been changing from her Ice House T-shirt to street clothes. She appeared quickly in skinny jeans and a green turtleneck. Trevor felt his heart thumping again. Vanessa threw Trevor a big smile and sang out, “Let’s go, babe.” Her sister had just pulled up in a red Toyota with Beyoncé playing loudly on the radio.

  “Dena,” Vanessa said to her sister, “this is my friend, Trevor. We used to go to school together at Tubman, but we didn’t know each other then.”

  “Hi Dena,” Trevor said, getting in the car with Vanessa.

  “Where to, Trevor?” Vanessa asked.

  “Let’s just hang at your place,” Trevor suggested.

  “Cool,” Dena agreed. “Bo’s there and he’s making popcorn. He rented a great movie. It’s supposed to be hilarious. Bo can really pick ’em.”

  Dena and Vanessa lived nearby in a small apartment. It was messy and crowded inside. Old beanbag chairs, some of them losing their beans, littered the floor in front of the television set, which was huge.

  “This is Bo Wells, my boyfriend,” Dena said to Trevor, nodding toward a tall, lanky man with a goatee. He looked at least thirty. He was filling bowls with popcorn.

  “Hi Bo,” Trevor greeted him. Trevor thought Bo looked a little spaced out, but maybe that was just him.

  Everybody settled on the beanbags, and Dena turned on the movie. Vanessa was nibbling popcorn and sitting very close to Trevor, occasionally resting her red curls on his shoulder, something that suited Trevor just fine.

  Trevor wasn’t crazy about the movie—a chick flick. But just being there with Vanessa was good enough for him. The movie lasted about an hour and forty-five minu
tes, and then Bo went into the tiny kitchen and yelled to them in the living room, “Who wants some beer?”

  “I do,” Vanessa yelled back. Her sister added, “You know I do.” Trevor replied, “Just cola or something if you got it.”

  Trevor didn’t even want to imagine the consequences if he came home tonight with liquor on his breath. When Bo returned with the beer and Trevor’s cola, he cast Trevor a wry smile and commented, “You don’t get out much, do you, kid?”

  “Well, I’m a junior at Tubman High, and I got a part-time job—” Trevor started to explain.

  But Bo cut in. “I mean fun times.”

  Vanessa snuggled up to Trevor and remarked, “He’s a very sweet boy. I’ve dated a lot of guys who drink and smoke, and I like Trevor better than them.”

  Trevor thought—she dated a lot of guys? She was only sixteen years old. “When did you start dating, Vanessa?” he asked her.

  “I’ve been going on dates since I was thirteen,” Vanessa replied, giggling. “My mom thought they were group dates, but we paired off quick.”

  Dena and Bo laughed. Trevor commented, “Thirteen’s kind of young for a girl to be dating.” Bo and Dena laughed louder.

  “Remember that guy you dated last year?” Dena recalled. “What a creep he was. Gary-something? We called him ‘scary Gary.’ He had a thing for you.” Dena looked at Trevor and explained, “She met this loser on the Internet, and she couldn’t get rid of him. He was all possessive and crazy-jealous. When Vanessa broke up with him, he’d park across the street all day. At night he’d shine his flashlight at our windows.”

  Vanessa started giggling again. “And then he’d throw pebbles at my window,” she added. “All night, ping-ping!”

  “Did you call the cops?” Trevor asked.

  “I was going to, but then he stopped. I was so glad to be rid of him. He wasn’t cute like you, Trevor,” Vanessa said.

  Dena and Bo were drinking a lot of beer. Then they switched to Red Bull and vodka. They were drinking from each other’s glasses and laughing nonstop. Trevor looked at his watch. It was ten-thirty. The plan was that Dena would drive him home around eleven.

  Vanessa noticed Trevor looking at his watch and said, “You got to get home, huh babe?”

  “Yeah,” Trevor answered.

  Dena had been finishing her drink, and now she got up from the floor, almost toppling over. “Ewww, I’m a little tip-sy,” she said with a slur.

  “You’re drunk, sis,” Vanessa told her, shaking her head. “That girl is such a booze hound.”

  Trevor glanced at Bo. He didn’t look too good either. “You guys,” Trevor said, “I can jog home from here. It’s only a couple miles farther than the Ice House and the Chicken Shack, and I always jog home from there.”

  “Oh Trevor,” Vanessa objected. “I hate to see you having to go home in the dark.”

  “It’s okay,” Trevor assured her. “I’m on the track team at school and the more I jog, the better I get. I’m in the hundred meter at the next meet and I want to nail that.”

  “I’ll drive you home, man,” Bo offered. “I’m not drunk, just a little buzzed.”

  “No, thanks,” Trevor declined. “I like to jog. I’ll be home in no time. The days are getting hot now, so jogging at night when it’s cool is a bonus.”

  At the door, Vanessa put her arms around Trevor’s neck and said, “You’re so nice. Do you think we can be friends? I so want to be your friend . . . ”

  “Yeah,” Trevor said. Vanessa kissed him and he kissed her back. Trevor was surprised how easy kissing came to him. He was elated. Even if he had to jog home in the dark, he figured it had been a good night. Trevor felt he could not only run, but maybe even fly.

  Trevor went out the door and looked in the direction he needed to go. He was about four miles from home. He knew his mother would freak big time if she knew he was going down these dark streets so late. The neighborhood gangs were more active at night.

  But running this distance was no big deal for Trevor. He ran in some marathons for charity this year, and he was often in the top five. Going four miles at jogging speed was a breeze for him.

  As Trevor ran, he thought he didn’t like Vanessa’s sister, and he totally did not like Bo. They were not the kind of people Trevor liked to hang with. He decided if he ever went on a real date with Vanessa, he’d take her out when Dena and Bo were not around. Trevor thought it wasn’t Vanessa’s fault that she had a creepy sister. That was just the way it was. Vanessa was there with Dena because she couldn’t hack living at home anymore. Trevor could understand that.

  Trevor fantasized sometimes about living somewhere else too—but where? If Tommy had a place, he’d bunk with him, but Tommy lived at home too. Trevor hoped Tommy would get a place of his own soon, and then Trevor could go with him. But that would have to wait until Trevor graduated from high school. Trevor liked his brother. He was a cool dude. He never pushed Trevor around, as big brothers sometimes do. Neither did Desmond or Junior. Trevor liked all his brothers.

  Trevor was making good time when he noticed a car driving slowly alongside him. “Hey Trevor,” Marko Lane shouted, “you escaping from somewhere, dude?”

  “I’m just jogging, practicing for the meet,” Trevor answered. Marko and Trevor were both good runners, and both were on the track team. One of them would probably win the 100-meter race against Lincoln. Kevin Walker and Matson Malloy were good too, but they weren’t entered in the 100 meter.

  “You heading home?” Marko asked.

  “Yeah,” Trevor admitted.

  “Want a lift?” Marko offered. His girlfriend, Jasmine Benson, who was sitting beside him commented, “You look beat.”

  Trevor hesitated. He looked at his watch. Sometimes Ma got in earlier than eleven, and he wanted to be home before her so there wouldn’t be questions. He hoped to get his shower in and look as though he’d been home for a while.

  “Okay, thanks,” Trevor accepted.

  Jasmine opened the back door lock and Trevor climbed in. “Heyyy,” Jasmine noted when she got a good look at him. “You got lipstick all over your face, Trevor Jenkins. What you been doin’ boy? Did a rabbit wearing lipstick jump out from the bushes while you were jogging and kiss you? And why are you in your street clothes?”

  Marko was driving the car, but he turned and glanced back at Trevor, who was frantically wiping his face. “You been leading a secret life, dude?” Marko asked.

  “I was out jogging and I met somebody,” Trevor explained, sorry that he’d accepted the offer of a ride.

  “Man,” Marko taunted, “you are one hot dude. You’re jogging in the middle of nowhere and along comes a babe to lay her kisses on you.”

  Jasmine laughed. “Trevor’s the quiet one, but that’s the kind you gotta watch out for!”

  “Who’s the babe, dude?” Marko asked. “Somebody from school?”

  “No, just a girl from the neighborhood,” Trevor answered. He felt miserable. Why was he so stupid that he didn’t wipe off Vanessa’s lipstick?

  “Your mama wouldn’t be happy if she knew strange babes were laying kisses on you, dude,” Marko told him.

  “His mama,” Jasmine added, “she is something else. She is big and tall, and she’d scare the devil if he ever showed up at her door. I never saw such a fierce lady. You better watch out, Trevor. Your mama finds out you been hanging with babes behind her back, she gonna break you in two like a matchstick!”

  “I’m glad my mom isn’t like that,” Marko commented. “She trusts me. She’s a businesswoman, and she’s so busy making money she got no time to bird-dog me.”

  Marko pulled into the driveway leading to the Jenkins’ house. It was a two-bedroom frame house that Mrs. Jenkins rented. At one time Ma slept in the living room on the couch, and the boys shared the bedrooms. Now Ma had a bedroom and Tommy and Trevor shared the other one with a curtain between them for privacy.

  “Thanks for the ride, Marko,” Trevor said, jumping eagerly out of the car. Ma
hadn’t arrived home yet.

  “Sweet dreams, dude,” Marko yelled from the window. Jasmine laughed hysterically.

  Trevor rushed into the house to find Tommy doing homework on his laptop. He had a pretty good part-time job now at an electronics store, and he got the laptop cheap. He looked at Trevor as he came in. “Ma said you had to work at the Chicken Shack tonight,” he mentioned.

  Trevor trusted his brother not to rat him out. He had to talk to somebody and Tommy was a good guy. “I told her that, but I had a date,” Trevor admitted. “I knew she wouldn’t like that, so I lied.”

  “You got a girlfriend?” Tommy asked.

  “Sort of,” Trevor said. “She works at the Ice House and she really likes me. Ma hates her ’cause she’s a high school dropout, but I can’t shut it down, Tommy. I like this girl a lot.”

  “That’d be the redhead, Vanessa Allen, right?” Tommy guessed. “I’ve seen her at the Ice House. She was a freshman at Tubman when I was a junior. She’s bad news, bro.”

  Trevor stiffened. “What’re you talking about?” he asked. He didn’t expect Tommy’s opposition too.

  “She just is, man,” Tommy stated flatly. “You shouldn’t be hanging with her. She made a lot of trouble at Tubman. She got a teacher fired.”

  “How did she do that? A little sophomore girl,” Trevor argued.

  Tommy told Trevor the story. “She flirted with the guy and when he wouldn’t take her bait, she went to the vice principal and told lies. I’m telling you, Trev, you’re playing with fire.”

  Trevor stood there staring at his brother. “You won’t rat me out to Ma, will you?” Tommy’s reaction frightened him. Tommy seemed to hate Vanessa Allen as much as Trevor’s mother did. Trevor was shocked. His brother’s advice was totally unexpected. He thought Tommy would help him in his budding social life.