The Tie That Binds

by LAURA GALE

  Rachel heard her own voice, stunned that the words could fly from her mouth so quickly. They were words she had never uttered before. But they had festered for many years. And she had never felt so angry in her life.

  “Do you realize why you brought your parents here, Lucas? Do you understand why?”

  “Rachel—” Lucas tried to speak, but Rachel was having none of it.

  “Lucas, you brought your parents here because it was easier than telling them no. It was what they wanted, and you always do what they want, no matter who it might hurt.”

  She was panting, her color high and her eyes flashing. And she was on a roll. “For you, it’s easier to do what they want than it is to challenge them. Easier to go along with whatever they say than to think for yourself. Easier, easier, easier.” She broke off on a sob. “Why did you bring them here?”

  “Rachel, I didn’t bring them here.” Lucas’s words were soft.

  Rachel looked at him, glanced at his parents and Paul. “What…what did you say?”

  Picking up on the bombshell effect Lucas’s statement had had on Rachel, Paul herded the Neumans out of Rachel’s office.

  “I said—” Lucas was watching her closely, knowing this was important “—I said that I didn’t bring them. I arrived here this morning to find them already here. Arguing with the reception staff,” he added wryly.

  Rachel felt the air whoosh out of her body, felt her knees go week. “I need to sit down,” she whispered, blindly reaching toward a chair from her dinette set.

  Appreciating that Rachel needed a few minutes to compose herself, Lucas moved toward the tea-building area in Rachel’s office and began the preparations for a cup of tea. He knew—he remembered—not only that Rachel tended to unwind with a cup of tea, but also how she preferred to prepare it. He smiled with satisfaction, pleased at the discovery.

  “Here,” he said, extending the cup toward her, warmed by the surprised thanks he saw in her eyes. It had been a long time since he’d been able to read her feelings there.

  Rachel sipped for a minute, still shaken—not only by the Neumans’ presence in her territory and Lucas’s apparent innocence in the event, but by the strange familiarity of the current circumstances.

  “I swear I had nothing to do with it, Rachel. I wasn’t exactly pleased to find them here. I do understand—not as much as you, of course—but I do understand that Michaela has special needs right now. And that my parents can’t contribute anything positive.” They had made that quite clear to him last night, but Rachel didn’t need to know about that conversation.

  Rachel let out the breath she had been holding, willing calm to seep back into her. Her face still felt hot. She could feel sweat trickling down her neck, yet she felt chilled. At least she had stopped shaking.

  “I wouldn’t have done that, Rachel.” He sat down at the table, directly across from Rachel. He looked her in the eye. “Wanna tell me about it, Rachel? What brought all that on? Why’d you go ballistic with my father like that?”

  Rachel shook her head, bewildered. “I guess I needed to say some things…that I’ve never said before.”

  “Can’t argue with that, I guess.” Truth be told, Lucas was reeling from what he’d witnessed.

  Rachel had always been passionate, yes. But it was a rare thing for her to be anything but generous in her dealings with people. Lucas wanted her to trust him, to see him as someone she could talk to. Again.

  “Look, Rachel, maybe it’s all gotten to be too much. Maybe you’re at your breaking point.”

  “My breaking point?” She was sideswiped by the remark, incredulous at its absurdity. “My breaking point? Maybe it’s all gotten to be too much? What the hell are you talking about?” Anger was resurfacing, words were boiling again. “Dios mio, Lucas, I hit my breaking point a long time ago! It didn’t matter, I had to keep going. What you are seeing—this is my life you’re looking at, not my breaking point!”

  Discomfited, Lucas said, “You just don’t usually…do anger in public.”

  “Oh, right. And you’d prefer that it stay that way.” Rachel stirred her tea vigorously. “I’d forgotten how important it is to avoid scenes.”

  Lucas blushed. He couldn’t deny it. She knew him too well.

  She touched her mug to her lips, sipping, seeking a return of the calm she’d temporarily experienced. They had things to say, the two of them. She decided to broach the first matter of discussion, the most important one. “You know that Michaela’s BMT is ready to begin?”

  He nodded.

  “I’ll be here. Will you?” She was asking if she could rely on him, theoretically, anyway.

  “Yes.”

  “Bueno,” she breathed a sigh of relief. “My family will be around, as well. You understand that your parents aren’t welcome?”

  It was a question that needed an answer, Lucas realized that. “Yes. I know.”

  “Okay, then.”

  Rachel considered the next topic.

  “I know we’ve kind of meandered along, you and me, without—” she pondered how to phrase it “—without establishing rules of conduct. Whatever you and I decide to do, we do it to support Michaela. Your parents are not the central point. Michaela is. Their rights as grandparents are not an issue at the moment. Michaela is the only issue.” She met his eyes. “How long have they known?”

  “Since last night.” Lucas decided she needed to know. “Learning about Michaela has had an impact on me, Rachel. My parents noticed and they decided to hire an investigator, see what I’ve been up to. They came by last night to confront me. I told them then.”

  “They hired an investigator?” Rachel was incredulous. “You are joking, right?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “I see.” She laughed humorlessly, as something occurred to her. “That must have been some conversation.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Rachel made to drink from her mug again, returning it to the table when she noticed it was empty. “Tell me, Lucas, just out of curiosity, when they found out about her, how many disparaging remarks did they make regarding her bloodlines?”

  Lucas sucked in his breath.

  “I thought so.” Standing up, walking toward her window, she continued. “So, Lucas, why did they come today? What did they want? Evidence for a smear campaign against me? Do they think Michaela is someone else’s or do they believe she’s yours? In other words, do they want to get her out of your life or do they want to take her away from me?”

  Lucas caught his breath, shocked that Rachel knew, she knew, what his parents had had in mind. It would serve no purpose to try to defend them.

  She fingered the curtains. “How do you feel about their arguments, Lucas? Am I in for a fight?”

  “No, Rachel. I wouldn’t do that. I’m here now, I’m part of the equation. But she belongs with you. Please trust me on that.”

  “Well, frankly, Lucas, that’s asking a lot. I’ve learned from our past together that when your parents’ wishes come up against mine, your parents win. They wanted something from you, you delivered it. It was a knee-jerk reaction. A habit. It has nothing to do with thinking. You’ve never had the nerve to stand up to your parents. Not ever.”

  “Maybe that’s changed.”

  She turned around, looked him straight in the eye. “Why should I believe that?”

  “I’m a father now, Rachel. Or at least I know I’m a father now.” He noticed her wince, knew she felt some guilt about that. “I told you that that discovery has made a difference to me. I want to do whatever it takes to help her, to have a relationship with her. With my daughter.” It still made him tingle to say those words.

  Rachel noticed.

  “So,” she began, “maybe you’ve answered your own question, the one you asked about my going ballistic with your father.” She had his attention now. “Somehow, all those years, Lucas, I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—defend myself against him. But when I felt like my child might be the target I never gave
any thought to whether I would protect her. I just did it. Even though that meant touching him.” She couldn’t suppress the shudder the thought gave her.

  They were silent for a moment. This was intense as well as tricky ground to cover.

  “What about…” Lucas tried his best to broach the subject tactfully. “What did you mean about not needing to put up with them anymore?”

  “Well, we’re not actively married, Lucas. They aren’t my in-laws in a true sense. Their status as grandparents doesn’t merit discussion. And that being the case, I don’t have to get along with them anymore. I’ve already tolerated more than was fair. I don’t owe them anything. I tried to live with it, Lucas, I really did. Especially when you seemed to be blind to it. What could I do? They’re your parents.” She took a long, deep breath. “I’ve held that in for a long time. That’s probably why it felt so good to smack your father. It’s been building up for years.”

  Lucas suspected he would not like where the discussion was heading. He knew his parents had not been good to Rachel. He had known about their prejudices, although he’d never overtly challenged it before last night. He hadn’t exactly been blind to it, as Rachel suggested, but he hadn’t done anything about it, either. Not that he was proud of it, but it was true.

  And now, while he felt queasy about the next information, he knew he could not hide from it any longer. He would have to push her this time.

  “Blind to what, Rachel? Tell me.”

  Something in his voice compelled her. She took a deep breath. “In the past, at various functions, when you were off networking with Alana, your father stayed behind to entertain me. Are you sure you want to hear this?” She met his eyes. He nodded. “Why do you think I came to hate those events so much?”

  “Well, you always said it was because you couldn’t stand society politics.”

  She nodded her head. “Yes. And I did hate that. But mostly, Lucas, I was desperate to avoid your father. And he was at his very worst when I was alone with him in public.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Bueno, Lucas, if you want to know…in the workforce, they call it sexual harassment. With a family member, they call it something else.”

  She’d never actually voiced this information. The words had never left her mouth. Not for anyone. But it was time. The words would not be withheld any longer.

  Shuddering involuntarily, she spoke, almost to herself. “At first I thought it was accidental. He would claim it was accidental, the way he would bump into me or rub against me. He’d touch me, you know, like a normal person does, then it would slide into something else and he’d apologize, but…” She shook her head.

  “I thought I had to be imagining it. He would corner me, Lucas, just out of sight of anyone else. At those events, when we’d be left alone at the table. Or he’d ask me to dance. Very public, but all the while…he was talking, holding me too tightly, too close. Yes—” she was nodding her head “—he did corner me. He would call me on the phone, Lucas. I actually met him for lunch once, at the beginning, before I understood. I believed he just wanted to get to know me a little. That’s what he said.”

  Her voice hardened. “I didn’t realize he had arranged for a suite at the Hyatt and that not only did he expect me to fall into bed with him, he expected me to be thankful and happy for the opportunity. He said he would set me up in my own place, that I’d have everything I could possibly want, that he would stay with me whenever possible. That Sophie wouldn’t mind. That you wouldn’t mind, either. He even brought me some kind of legal document, Lucas, spelling out what he’d give me, just so I could see he really meant what he said. I guess he thought I’d like that.”

  She sighed. “Even after you and I were married, he kept at it, saying he’d be happy to…share me with you. He said he’d take what he could get.”

  Lucas’s pallor gave away his horror. It couldn’t be true, and yet… “I don’t believe you.”

  “Yes, you do. You don’t want to, but you do. I can see it in your eyes, Lucas.” And she could. His gray eyes were utterly black with emotion at this moment. “You believe me.”

  Not waiting for a response, she went on. “Why do you suppose he thought I’d jump at what he offered? He, well, both your parents, believed I was not only too low on the evolutionary scale to marry the likes of you, but that my lowly status relegated me to the whore class, Lucas. Your father wanted to elevate me to ‘mistress to rich white man,’ thoroughly believing it was his right to do so and that I would consider it a privilege. Dios mio, but he is a fool.”

  Eyeing Lucas, her contempt for his father showed in her eyes, bringing shadows to the gold. “As you may realize, my Mexican heritage is at the root of his opinion. It’s a bit like the lord of the manor claiming rights with the servants.”

  Lucas flinched as he remembered his father’s boast about Rosa.

  “He really didn’t understand that I wasn’t interested. When I continued to refuse, he turned ugly. Well, uglier.” She laughed humorlessly. “He said you would never need to know that I was with both of you. He said he could understand that you might not want to give me up. He—” she bit her lip “—is apparently genuinely attracted to me. I believe that much is true. I think he has never forgiven me for refusing him. He became hostile toward me.”

  Lucas knew he had paled even further, that the shock he was feeling showed. “If this is true, why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

  He asked the question but knew she spoke the truth. He knew that his father had expressed more than idle interest in Rachel in their very recent conversation. In fact, he had expressed desire for her as well as what seemed to be desire for revenge.

  “I wanted to tell you, Lucas. I tried to. But listening to my criticisms of your parents was never high on your agenda. Maybe I should have insisted, but it embarrassed me. I felt guilty, kept wondering if I’d done something to ask for it somehow. I kept hoping he’d stop, that he’d leave me alone eventually. I just tried to stay away from him, from both of them actually.” She played with the spoon in her empty teacup. “I don’t know what your mother thinks of it, although I’m sure she knows. But I’ve never been inclined to chat with her.”

  Rachel went to fix herself another cup of tea. Carefully, studiously, she poured the water over the teabag, eventually adding honey and milk. “Michaela is also Mexican. Your father will never be decent to her. Your mother follows him. I can only draw on my experience—and that hasn’t been very good.”

  “You believe there is a connection between your heritage and Dad’s…behavior.”

  “I’m certain of it.”

  “Everything about them not wanting us to marry, my father’s…interest in you, the way they treat you, the way you think they’ll treat Michaela. You believe it’s all racial.”

  “Not for me, Lucas. It’s racial for them. I’m pretty comfortable with my background. Your parents are less receptive.”

  She walked back to the table where Lucas still sat. “What I don’t know is how you feel. You’ve never said.”

  The question jolted him. “Are you asking me if I agree with them?”

  “Sí, I suppose so.”

  Should he tell her about his recent conversation with his parents? That he had disagreed with them, defended Rachel and Michaela? Had he left Rachel so unsure of his opinion?

  “Por Dios, Lucas,” Rachel snapped when no response was forthcoming. “Surely you aren’t still wondering if my heritage matters to them? When they make snide remarks about my background, exactly what do you think they mean? When they get to talking about pure bloodlines, what the hell do you think they’re referring to?” She paused, her gaze direct. “Would you agree that your parents were highly opposed to our marriage?”

  “Yes,” Lucas inclined his head. “They were. Still are.”

  “Bueno,” Rachel said, clasping her hands together in a mock-praying pose. “Do you have any theories about why that is?”

  “You weren’t what they
expected me to marry.”

  “Well, that’s an understatement.” She thought back, bringing back a moment from the past. “Did you know that your mother tried to convince me to sign the marriage certificate using only my middle initial? She said ‘Juanita’ was just too ethnic. If people saw that, she said, if they heard me say that when we took our vows—well, then everyone would know. People could accept the name Rachel. Rachel was classic, she said. But Juanita showed the truth about who I was. I refused her request.”

  Lucas felt his eyes widen. He had never heard that before.

  “Your parents have very definite ideas about people’s places in society. Do you agree?”

  He shrugged, but nodded. “Okay.” They had given him lessons in this subject. The real problem, he was beginning to see, was that he’d never considered the consequences of their prejudice. He’d discarded their commentary as something he had no use for. But maybe, just maybe, his silence had looked like agreement.

  Rachel, however, was not privy to Lucas’s thoughts. “Do you know where my place is, according to your parents?”

  In spite of himself, he blushed. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t know, not anymore. He couldn’t meet her eyes as he acknowledged, “Yes, I know.”

  She regarded him steadily, waiting for him to continue, content to let the silence grow.

  “Okay, you weren’t…wife material.” He glanced at her, wondering if that would be a sufficient admission for her. “They expected me to marry Alana. Or someone just like her, I suppose.” He shrugged.

  “And why was that?”

  “Because she was what they expected. You…weren’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because,” he began, realizing he didn’t really know where to take his explanation, but sensing that Rachel wasn’t going to make it easy. “Not just because you’re Mexican. There were other reasons.” No matter how angry his father had made him, Lucas couldn’t stop defending his family. Maybe that, too, was a knee-jerk reaction.