Suddenly Forbidden

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Suddenly Forbidden Page 14

by Ella Fields


  While I could empathize with that, the part of me she had a hand in destroying was struggling to see reason. “I’ve gotta go,” I said, stepping back and getting in the truck.

  “Quinn.” She grabbed the door before I could close it. “You’re not …” She blinked, and a tear rolled down her cheek, making me feel like shit. “You’re not breaking up with me over this, are you?”

  Staring at her for a moment, I wondered if that was what I was doing. But I knew, even with all that I’d discovered, that I couldn’t change what had already been done. “No,” I finally said, offering her a tight smile. “I just need some time. I’ll call you, ’kay?”

  She bit her lip, then nodded and backed away for me to close the door.

  With one last look at her worried face, I started the truck and got out of there.

  “A young man out front is asking for you,” Tim said in the doorway of the storeroom.

  I looked up at him from my spot on the floor where I’d been taking inventory. “Who is it?”

  “That same fellow who was in here the other week.” My heart rate gathered speed until he said, “Dark hair and eyes?”

  “Oh.” Ignoring the pang of disappointment, I put the notepad and pen on the shelf in front of me and got up.

  “We’re not busy yet, so take your time.” He winked before walking off to the staffroom.

  Heading out front, I crinkled my brows as I took in Callum, who had his back turned to me and hands in his jean pockets as he rocked back on his heels. “Callum?”

  “Hey.” He spun around then came forward to the counter, which I was using as a barrier between us. “I wanted to come by and see you after, ah, the other night.”

  Not knowing what to say, I just nodded.

  He rubbed a hand over the back of his head before dropping it to his side with a slap. “I’m sorry, it wasn’t … I didn’t.”

  I smiled as he stumbled over his words and said, “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not. I took you out with full intentions of taking you out again. It’s just … Renee. She’s my ex. It’s kind of complicated.”

  I could understand that and said as much. “I get it. Believe me.”

  “You never called, and I know I said to only do so when you’re ready, but well …”

  “You were drunk; she was there.”

  “Yeah.” He sighed. “I’m an asshole.”

  A laugh burst out of me, and looking into his brown eyes, I realized I wasn’t all that upset over it. We weren’t a thing, and he didn’t owe me anything. He could do what he wanted. I was just glad I hadn’t developed any feelings for him beyond friendship.

  “So are you guys getting back together?” I grabbed a box of straws from under the counter, refilling the dispenser to keep my fidgeting hands busy.

  “No, we’re not. She, well, kind of cheated on me.” He leaned his hip against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Kind of?” I looked up at him.

  He shrugged. “Yeah, guess there’s no kind of about it. She fucked my friend.”

  My eyes widened, and he chuckled, snatching a black straw from the dispenser and shoving it into his mouth. I got a little sidetracked from my task, watching the way his teeth clamped down on it as he talked. “I haven’t completely blown my chances of taking you out again, have I?”

  Blinking, I met his gaze. “What?”

  He smirked, removing the straw from his mouth. “You and me. Will you still consider going out with me again? If I promise to behave myself?”

  I looked back down at the box of straws, unsure how to answer that. I knew in my gut I didn’t really want to give him another chance. I still wasn’t even sure if I was ready for this whole dating thing. “I don’t know.”

  “I know,” he said, and I looked up at him again. “Why don’t you come to our next game? We can hang out after, or if you’re still not sure, we can hang out another time.”

  “I really don’t know.” I reached up, fidgeting with my hair.

  “Just come and watch. That’s all I’m asking.”

  I thought about it for a minute, side eyeing him as he smiled at me, and finished refilling the dispenser. Stuffing the box back under the counter, I straightened and sighed dramatically. “Fine.”

  His grin made me smile, and I actually felt a little bit of excitement over going. It’d been so long since I’d been to a game. I tried to ignore the very loud voice in my head that warned me of a certain quarterback who’d obviously be playing. I could deal. I’d hung out with him last weekend. Kind of, I guess.

  “You seemed pretty drunk on Friday night. If I’m being honest, I didn’t expect to see you there.”

  “You and me both,” I laughed out. “It was stupid. Pippa, my friend who I was with, and I got a little drunk in our dorm room, and yeah. That’s where we ended up.”

  He nodded, his lips tugging to the side as he regarded me thoughtfully. “Just be careful. Heard Burnell and Hawthorne took you guys home?”

  Not wanting to explain how that went down, I simply said, “Yeah, they walked us home.”

  “Good. Anyway, I gotta jet. Got a chemistry paper due. But here you go.” He pulled out two tickets from his pocket and slid them across the counter. “Bring your friend if you want.”

  Grabbing my hand, he placed a quick peck on top of it. A little stunned, I watched him walk out the door, and then stop to talk to someone.

  That someone was Quinn, who glanced inside at me, before watching Callum walk away.

  My heart started dancing a very unnatural rhythm as he stepped inside.

  “Hey,” he said, and I couldn’t meet his eyes.

  “What can I get you?” I asked.

  He huffed. “Uh, actually, I just want to talk to you.”

  The door opened behind him, a few girls chatting together as they walked inside. “I can’t right now.” Even though I was dying to know what he needed to talk to me about, I couldn’t keep socializing with guys at my place of employment.

  “When are you off?”

  I looked over at the clock. “In an hour,” I said.

  “I’ll be back then.” He tapped the counter, and I still couldn’t look at him, but I watched his large hand fall away before he headed for the door.

  “Good Lord, he’s hot,” one of the girls said.

  “What can I get you?” I asked yet again, curbing any more Quinn admiring before they got too enthusiastic. I’d admired the guy all my life; I didn’t need any reminders of what I threw away.

  The hour after he left dragged just as I knew it would. I felt itchy almost, anxiety and nerves hitching a turbulent ride on the contents of my stomach, making it bubble and gurgle dangerously. I didn’t know if I could do this. Talk to him on my own with no one else around. But my curiosity and my stupid heart had me clocking out and saying goodbye to Tim as soon as the minute hand slid into place on the clock.

  He was waiting outside as I walked out, adjusting my messy hair and wishing I’d at least slicked some lip balm on. I rummaged through my purse for it as he stood from where he was sitting by the garden, but I couldn’t find it and gave up.

  God, I’d almost forgotten how tall he was as I came to a stop in front of him. At least six-foot-three now. I looked up and backed up a bit. “Hi,” I croaked. “So what’s up?”

  His lips twitched as if he wanted to smile at me. I pushed my glasses up my nose and started walking, my stomach and heart making it very difficult to keep looking at him.

  He caught up with me in two long strides. “Can we go sit somewhere maybe?”

  His voice was tentative, and I was burning with the urge to find out why. “Sure.”

  “So what’s with the job at the ice-cream parlor?”

  I didn’t know if he was just trying to make this less awkward, or if he was actually interested, but I answered anyway. “A way to fill the time, at first. I like it, though.”

  We crossed the street and walked into the quad. It was quiet, only a
few people loitering around or walking by. I took a seat on the bench in front of the fountain, dumping my purse in my lap and staring at the water. The trickle and splashing calmed me some, but not enough to breathe properly as he took a seat right next to me. I could smell him. That clean, shower fresh yet kind of citrusy smell he had from his body wash. Nice to know some things didn’t change.

  He broke the silence with a nostalgic timbre to his deep voice. “Remember the summers I spent chasing you around with the garden hose?”

  I realized he must’ve been staring at the water, too. Still looking at it now, I couldn’t see it as my mind took me back to the last time he’d hidden behind the barn, jumping out at me and unkinking the hose to spray me with it. It was a few months before I turned sixteen, and I remember being mildly annoyed and shocked that he’d still want to indulge in something we did as kids. “Even when I was fifteen,” I said dryly.

  His laughter hit me in places I’d rather it didn’t. “Yeah, though admittedly, I just wanted your top to get wet. So I could …” His words broke off into a cough.

  I ducked my head, biting my lip to stop from laughing. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t make me smile after he’d chosen her. I wouldn’t let him.

  “I’m sorry, Daisy.”

  A little taken aback by that, I glanced over at him. “Why?”

  Slumping back against the bench, he scratched at his jaw. “For everything. Not calling you enough when you left, not digging deeper when you stopped talking to me, and for … Alexis.”

  Oh, okay. I was stuck on the first things he’d said. “Why are you saying this now?”

  He shook his head, and when some of his blond hair sprinkled onto his forehead, he swiped it back. “I didn’t know that you weren’t handling the move very well and how badly it had affected you. I was stuck in my own head; missing you combined with all the usual teenage hormones kind of sent me crazy.”

  A long breath whooshed out of me. “You … how do you know about that?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said, looking away.

  What? “No.” I laughed, confused and a little pissed off. “It does.”

  “Dais.”

  “Don’t Dais me. You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

  His hazel eyes shuttered, and my chest clenched with guilt. “It’s not like it changes anything, does it?” he muttered quietly.

  Staring back at the water, I swallowed thickly. “No. I guess it doesn’t.”

  The long stretch of silence that followed felt like it would strangle me with my own emotions. I didn’t know why I asked what I did next, maybe to torture myself some more, but I had to know. “When did you guys get together?”

  “Daisy.”

  “Just tell me.”

  A sigh left him. “Almost a year after you’d moved.”

  My voice shook. “Do you love her?”

  He only hesitated for a second before saying, “Yeah, I do.” He groaned. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  More silence as I beat back the tears with every ounce of strength I had. Which wasn’t much at that stage. “Makes sense. You guys survived being apart for what, a year then? We barely survived a few months.”

  “That’s not fair. Two hours is a lot different than nine. And what happened with us was—”

  “Whatever. So why did you want to talk to me then? To apologize?” I kept looking at the water, wishing I could dunk my head in it. Though it was probably freezing, I would bet a hundred dollars it’d feel better than what I was feeling right now.

  “Yeah, and I don’t know.” He paused. “No, I do know. I was hoping we could maybe be friends?”

  Wow. Well, out of all the things I’d expected or hoped he’d say to me, none of what had actually been said was it. I didn’t know what I’d expected. That he’d say he’d made some big mistake? That he’d want me back? Would I even want him back?

  I couldn’t answer any of my own questions, so I answered his with a begrudging, “I suppose we can.”

  He chuckled, and my stomach dipped at the sound. “Don’t sound too excited about it.”

  I looked over at him with furrowed brows. “To be honest, I don’t even know why you’d want to be friends. Is it pity? If so, I’m good, thanks.”

  Covering his mouth as his shoulders heaved with laughter, he shook his head. “No, it’s not pity. You’ve been my best friend since I can even remember. Why wouldn’t I want to keep you in my life?”

  That made sense. Too bad it’d probably suck for me. “What about Alexis?”

  He sucked his lips into his mouth, and my own fell open as I watched him roll them between his perfect teeth. He’d never needed braces like I had growing up. It used to drive me insane with jealousy. “She might not be very happy about it. But it’s not like …”

  “We’d hang out and have sleepovers all the time? Yeah, I figured that. And really …”

  “You couldn’t deal with that?” he offered, eyes twinkling with humor.

  Ugh, finishing each other’s sentences was only cute when you were in love. When you were in unrequited love, it just plain sucked. “Yeah,” I said, turning away and thinking I should probably just go before I lost the battle with my raging emotions. “I’d better go.”

  I grabbed my purse, standing while he said, “Hey, just be careful.”

  “With what?” I stopped a few feet away from the bench.

  “Callum.” He leaned forward, elbows bent on his knees and his hands clasped together as he stared up at me. I wished he wouldn’t do that—look so concerned and so damn good while doing it. His eyes, the same ones I’d known since I was a child with years of memories shining luminously at me, still made my breath catch.

  I almost forgot what we were talking about. “What?”

  “Callum. He came to see you tonight?” His brows lowered.

  “What about him?” I fidgeted with the zipper on my purse.

  “He isn’t known for getting serious with anyone since his ex screwed him over.”

  I failed to see what this had to do with him, or maybe that was still my emotions getting the better of me. The pesky things wanted to surface and either have me throw myself at him or lay at his feet in a puddle of my own sorrow. God, I wished this would just end. “Why do you care?”

  With a lift of his shoulders, he said, “Friends, remember?”

  Scoffing, I started moving away. “You don’t get to do that. I’m trying to move on, just like you did.”

  “Daisy.” He stood. “Just because I … moved on doesn’t mean I don’t care.” When I raised a brow at him, irritated, he continued, “As I said, you’ve always been my best friend.”

  And I was done tormenting myself for tonight. For a lifetime. “All right. Well, I’ve had enough friending for tonight.” I turned and walked away, calling out over my shoulder, “Bye, Quinn.”

  After putting in my order for a chicken salad, I took a seat in an empty booth near the back of the diner. I would’ve felt a little awkward, sitting on my own, but one glance around had me noticing I wasn’t alone. People sat in groups, in pairs, or by themselves.

  Pulling my clunker of a book out of my bag, I flipped it open to continue my English lit reading while waiting for my food.

  “Here you go,” the waitress said, placing my salad and water down on the table.

  Pushing my book aside, I thanked her and tugged my plate closer, unwrapping my cutlery from inside the napkin.

  Feeling eyes on me, I looked up just as Quinn slid into a booth at the opposite end with a bottle of water. I tore my eyes away from his, ignoring the way my heart raced, and started eating. I hadn’t seen him since our random chat last week, the one where he tortured me some more, then rubbed salt in all my wounds by asking to be friends.

  My feet scuffed over the floor, my hand twirling the fork over and over. I couldn’t concentrate. Could hardly eat, knowing he was seated just tables away from me.

  A few minutes later, I closed my book just as Quinn sat down acr
oss from me. “Hi.”

  Glancing around the half full diner quickly, I mustered up some courage and brought my gaze to his. “Uh, hi.”

  “Saw you sitting by yourself, and well, I was by myself, so I just thought …” he trailed off, and we both laughed nervously.

  This eye locking business was getting hard to fight. So I gave in and let my eyes do what they wanted, which was to study his brows, the way they rose up and down a little as he looked at me, and the way his hands twisted around a menu.

  “You ordered yet?” I asked.

  He shook his head, then nodded. “Yeah, no. I mean, I have.”

  Laughter again. Okay. This was awkward.

  And to make matters worse, I went and asked something I’d been too curious about. “So I forgot to ask. Did you get in trouble? Um, after the other weekend?”

  Looking confused, he parted his lips slightly and then licked his upper lip. I think my thighs clenched under the table. I started eating my food, for something to do, if nothing else. “Not really, no. After I explained it, she was okay, I guess.”

  “You guess?” I blurted around a mouthful of chicken, instantly wanting to stick ice on my flaming cheeks.

  He just grinned, which didn’t help. I swallowed my food without chewing enough, then reached for my water, gulping it down to keep it from getting stuck in my throat.

  “Naturally, she wouldn’t be happy about it.”

  Couldn’t argue with that, so I didn’t push any further. His food arrived. A huge burger, fries, and a salad. He dug right in, and we ate in silence until he’d almost demolished everything on his plate.

  He’d always eaten a lot. Apparently, football had a lot to do with that. I remembered his mom used to gripe, albeit lovingly, that she was glad they only had the one child. As he ate enough to empty their bank accounts some weeks.

  I finished as much of my salad as I could, which was a lot, considering my stomach wouldn’t stop bouncing around, making me think I would end up with a serious case of the hiccups, or indigestion if it didn’t cut it out soon.

  “You’ve always hated tomatoes,” he said.

 

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