Clean Slate

by Heidi Champa

  She gave the pile one last look before smiling back.

  “Definitely.”

  On my way home from the charity shop run, my phone started to ring. I pressed the button on my Bluetooth.

  “Hello?”

  “Wes, where are you right now?”

  It was Daniel, his voice sounding flustered.

  “On my way back from Goodwill. I was dropping off a donation from Tanya Forrester. Why?”

  “Tina and I are in a bind, and I was hoping you could help.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Kelsey needs to go to this soccer game tonight, and it looks like neither of us will be home to drive her. Can you take her?”

  I tried not to sigh, visions of a lazy night at home flying out the window. It was amazing how quickly Daniel was trying to transform me into something resembling a responsible adult. It was a bit scary.

  “Sure. I guess. If I have to,” I said, knowing there wasn’t much else I could say.

  “You’re a lifesaver. I’ll text you the address of the fields. She has to be there by six. One of us will try and be there by halftime. She’ll need to eat first. There are leftovers in the fridge; you’ll just need to reheat them.”

  “No worries, big brother. I’m on it.”

  “Thanks, dude. Oh, you’ll be taking Maya too. Her dad will pick her up from the game.”

  The mention of Sam made me perk up a bit, but I quickly tried to push the thoughts of him aside. I hadn’t heard from him since the night he called about Kelsey’s sweater. Not that the lack of communication stopped me from thinking about him and his sexy smile from time to time.

  “Okay, cool. I’ll put it on your tab.”

  “Very funny, Wes.”

  “I do what I can,” I said as I made a left turn into Daniel’s driveway.

  “All right, I have to go. Call me if anything comes up,” he said.

  “Will do.”

  When I walked through the front door, I heard music coming from upstairs. I climbed up, then knocked on Kelsey’s door. She pulled it open and rolled her eyes when she saw me.

  “What’s up, U Dub? We’re busy.”

  “I just wanted to let you know I’m taking you guys to the game tonight.”

  “Really? Dad roped you in?” she asked as she bopped her head to the horrible music.

  “Yup. So, we’ll need to be ready to go by half past five.”

  She gave me a mock salute, and I shuddered at how adult I sounded.

  “Is that it?”

  I was shocked by the cluttered mass of nonsense that was all over her room. I was about to say something about it but thought better of embarrassing her in front of Maya. I made a note to give her a hard time later and smiled.

  “Yup. As you were. Keep the music to a dull roar, if you don’t mind.”

  “No promises.”

  With that, the door closed, one happy pop song blending into the next. I retreated to the living room and tooled around on my laptop to waste time. I was in the middle of watching a video of a cat on a skateboard when Kelsey and Maya appeared.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “What are we doing about dinner?” Kelsey asked, her hands on her hips.

  I set my computer aside and stood up.

  “Well, Dad said there are leftovers.”

  They both made faces and started making gagging noises.

  “Ew. Can’t we do something else?” Kelsey asked.

  “Like what?” I asked.

  They looked at each other and, without a word, nodded.

  “Pizza!”

  Their unison delivery scared me a bit.

  “Seriously? You want me to take you for pizza?”

  “Yup. Come on, U Dub. Live up to your cool-uncle rep,” Maya said, her smile just like her father’s.

  “I wasn’t aware I had a ‘cool-uncle rep.’”

  “Of course you do,” Kelsey said with a grin. I knew what she was doing, and I tried to stay immune from her manipulation. I was determined not to let her win.

  “Please. Flattery isn’t going to work.”

  Kelsey gave a coy smile and started twisting her hair.

  “Come on. We’ll pay,” she said.

  “Money’s not the issue.”

  “I promise I won’t tell Dad.”

  “Me neither,” Maya added.

  I stared at them, and my desire to argue drained away. I saw why Daniel gave in. It was too exhausting to fight them. It was probably for the best that I would never have kids. I would clearly be terrible at the whole discipline thing.

  “Fine. Let’s go. And make sure you have everything you need for the game. I’m not coming back.”

  “Okay. We’ll be ready in five minutes,” Kelsey said.

  They took off up the stairs, giggling. Another victory for the power of teenage girls. It was something I never got to experience as a boy. I was too busy staring at the captain of the baseball team to care what the girls were doing.

  We arrived at the soccer fields a bit late, the leftover pizza in the trunk of my car. The girls ran off, and I trailed behind. The three fields were already swarming with kids and parents, color-coded T-shirts as far as the eye could see. As the team finished their warm-up, I saw the coach talking to Kelsey, and he looked none too pleased. She pointed at me, and when their eyes hit me, I waved. The coach gave a nod and a laugh, shaking his head. It seemed whatever excuse Kelsey had given him for their tardiness worked. Most likely she’d told him it was her useless uncle’s fault. Which was true. I’d gotten caught up chatting to a cute guy at the pizza shop and lost track of time. I just hoped Daniel wouldn’t find out. The last thing I wanted was a lecture.

  I stood on the sideline, trying not to look too bored. Maya and Kelsey managed to laugh and talk even while playing sports. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, but since there was no one to text, I put it right back where it was. A voice jarred me out of my trance.

  “Fancy seeing you here, Wes.”

  I turned around and saw Sam, his hands in the pockets of his chinos. He looked good. Really good. He might have been a bit preppy, but he managed to make it look hot.

  “Hi. Daniel needed an assist today. He and Tina are working late. So, here I am,” I said, gesturing to the field.

  It was the last place I ever thought I’d be, the sideline of a soccer game. It was so domestic, so suburban. It was the kind of thing I thought I never wanted, but somehow, standing there with Sam, I started to see the appeal of a normal life and a normal relationship. Must have been the company.

  “I was supposed to work late, but I snuck out a little early. I’ve missed so many of Maya’s games. If I had known the girls needed a lift, I could have done it.”

  “It was no problem. But I should warn you, they convinced me to get them pizza before the game, and we were a little late. Maya said she wasn’t going to tell you, but I figured I better be up-front. Sorry. I’m kinda new to this whole responsibility thing,” I said.

  He laughed, taking a step closer to me. I wanted him to keep going, but no such luck.

  “Ah, I told you. When those two work together, it’s almost impossible to say no.”

  “I’m learning that. You sure you don’t mind?”

  “No, not at all. I’ve dropped Maya off late more times than I can count. And you didn’t have to buy them dinner. In fact, I can reimburse you if you’d like.”

  He reached for his wallet, but I stopped him, using it as an excuse to put my hand briefly on his arm.

  “Oh, God, no. It’s my pleasure. I’m keeping the leftovers for myself, so it’s a fair trade.”

  He smiled, and I felt my face go hot. God, why did he have to be so cute? I quickly removed my hand and shuffled a few inches away from him. Just to be safe.

  “Fair enough,” he said.

  We turned toward the field and watched the kids for a while, the sun starting to set. He cleared his throat and kicked at the ground. The silence got a bit awkward, but I didn’t know wh
at to say to him.

  “So, how are things going, Wes?”

  “Good. I’ve actually been pretty busy. Word got around Daniel’s neighborhood about me. Who knew there was so much clutter in suburbia?”

  Sam laughed, his eyes still focused straight ahead.

  “I’m not surprised. It’s amazing how quickly things pile up.”

  “So I’ve noticed. I mean, it’s good for me. Daniel even thinks I should start my own business.”

  He looked at me, his face in a huge smile. I could get used to seeing that smile. The smell of his cologne wafted in the breeze, something spicy and woodsy. I’d always hated Nick’s overpriced stuff. But Sam smelled as good as he looked.

  “That’s a really great idea. There’s nothing like owning your own place,” he said, rocking from his heels to his toes and back again.

  “Speaking from experience?”

  He nodded, his face lighting up.

  “Yeah. I have my own insurance agency. A few years now. Best decision I ever made.”

  I shook my head, shoving my hands in my pockets. I should have known Sam would be successful too. Just like Nick, he was far too good for me. At least he was nice to look at.

  “I don’t know. It’s such a big commitment. I just don’t know if I’m up for it. I kinda like working for other people. Less pressure. Especially when things go wrong,” I said, hoping it didn’t make me sound pathetic and lazy.

  “Well, it is a big commitment. It’s not for everyone. But if you’re willing to take a chance, it can be really rewarding.”

  “For right now I’m happy to have something to do.”

  “On that subject, if you have time next week, do you think you could fit me into your busy schedule?” he asked.

  I smiled at him, trying not to let my mind wander into dangerous territory. I told myself it was just work. Nothing more.

  “Sure. I think I’m free Wednesday.”

  He thought for a moment before pulling out his phone and scanning it.

  “That works for me,” he said, making some kind of note in his phone.

  “Great.”

  I now had an ironclad excuse to spend time in Sam’s house. Too bad he wouldn’t be there.

  “I warn you, my basement is frightening. Be prepared.”

  “I’m sure I’ve seen worse,” I said, trying to reassure him.

  Sam chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

  “We’ll see.”

  CHAPTER 6

  I ARRIVED at Sam’s a few minutes before eleven on Wednesday. He told me he’d leave a key for me under the plant on his patio, but when I picked up the pot, there was nothing there. I looked around for another plant but came up empty-handed. Pulling out my phone, thinking I’d messed up his instructions, I was surprised when the front door opened.

  “Hey, Wes. How are you?”

  He was dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt. Even his casual look was well put together. It made me feel all the more schlubby in comparison.

  “Sam, hi. I didn’t expect you to be here.”

  He smiled and motioned me inside.

  “I decided to work from home today,” he answered.

  I nodded and my heart sank. It was almost always a bad sign when clients worked from home while I was there. It usually meant one of two things. Either they were control freaks who would watch my every move, or they didn’t trust me around their stuff. I hadn’t pegged Sam for one of those options, but I guess I was wrong.

  “Well, I’ll try and stay out of your way. Unless you prefer to be more involved in the process. We hadn’t really talked about that, but some clients prefer to be more hands-on.”

  He thought about it for a moment, closing the door behind us.

  “That might work. I mean, there’s bound to be some things you have questions about,” he said.

  I followed Sam to a door near the kitchen. He paused before he opened it, his face serious.

  “Now, I know I warned you, but I want you to be prepared,” he said with a grin.

  “Jesus, Sam. What do you have in this basement of yours? Bodies?”

  His face was serious as he shook his head slowly.

  “No, nothing like that. I keep the bodies in the shed in the backyard.”

  His expression quickly dissolved into a smile, and we both cracked up.

  “That’s probably for the best. Lugging bodies up and down stairs is such a chore,” I said, feeling my body relax.

  We walked down the creaky steps, the dim light illuminating the dust. I scanned the basement and shook my head. Sam wasn’t exaggerating. It was one of the worst basements I’d ever seen. Boxes were everywhere, furniture, toys, and nonsense filled every corner.

  “Wow, you weren’t kidding, Sam. What is all this?”

  He grinned, running a hand through his dark hair.

  “A lot of it is junk. I never throw things away. I put it off until later and then later never comes. That’s why I need you. To force me to make decisions.”

  “Okay. Well, where should we start?”

  Sam gestured to a stack of boxes a few feet away. I reached for the top one and opened it up. There were books inside, all of them something a little girl would read.

  “I take it these are Maya’s?” I asked.

  He peered inside and nodded, his smile warm and wonderful.

  “And I take it she won’t be rereading these anytime soon?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Then are we okay to donate some of these?”

  He picked up one of the cardboard-covered books from the top of the pile and opened it. Inside the front cover, Maya had scrawled her name in crayon, clearly practicing her writing. He turned a few pages, looking nostalgic.

  “I still remember buying her this one. She was only a few months old, but for some reason I bought it anyway. She loved it,” he said, his face beaming.

  His wistful smile was so adorable. It hit me again that he was a father. A real grown-up.

  “Why don’t you keep that one? It seems to be special.”

  He ran a hand over the worn cover and my heart clenched. I’d never felt that way about any possession, even my own. In a way, I was jealous.

  “Yeah, I think I will.” He set the book aside and smiled at me. After looking through the box a bit more, he moved it to the floor and slid it toward the wall. “I think the rest of those can go.”

  “Great. Good start.”

  I moved on to the next box, which was full of papers.

  “Do you want to go through these now? Or you could save it for later,” I said.

  He stood right next to me, peering into the box. With a sigh, he grabbed it and put it on the floor.

  “No more later, remember? I’ll do it now.”

  Sam started to leaf through the detritus, and I asked what I was dying to know.

  “So you must have been pretty young when you had Maya,” I said, trying to ease into things.

  He nodded but didn’t look up from the papers he was sorting through.

  “Her mother and I were only seventeen. Needless to say, it was a bit of a surprise. We used a condom, but obviously it didn’t work.”

  “Wow” was all I could say.

  When I was seventeen, I was barely managing to get by. My life was a mess, and I never thought I’d get through it. While I was trying to piece my life back together, Sam was busy being a father. I knew my reaction was juvenile, but I truly didn’t know what other word to use.

  “Yeah, I get that reaction a lot. People never really know what to say.”

  He still hadn’t looked at me, but I was determined to try for a better response.

  “That must have been really tough,” I ventured.

  He rolled his eyes, and I could tell he thought what I said was stupid. Which it was. I hated platitudes as much as the next guy, and my second attempt at relating to him had been even worse than the first. I realized too late I should have quit while I was ahead.

  “Tha
t’s a bit of an understatement,” he said, his voiced edged with frustration.

  “Right. Of course. I mean, I can’t even fathom what that must have been like. There’s no way I could have handled something like that. I mean, my life was complicated back then, but nothing like that.”

  Sam gave me another look I couldn’t really read before he spoke again.

  “Well, some people aren’t meant to be parents. For me, it wasn’t easy, but I wouldn’t do anything differently. I can’t imagine my life without her. Kids really do change everything, and for me, it was absolutely for the better. I’d always wanted to be a father,” he said, his voice so sure.

  I knew I should keep quiet, nod and smile politely, as if he were any other client. But instead I kept talking. Like a fool.

  “Totally. I mean, I get that. But don’t you ever feel like you missed out on being a kid? On having fun and being irresponsible? You know, underage drinking, sneaking out, or skipping school to smoke pot with your friends.”

  His eyes crinkled at the corners, and I thought for a moment he was going to smile, but it quickly turned into a grimace. I’d seen a similar face from Nick a bunch of times. Once again, I’d said the wrong thing. My usual ability to put people at ease and make them feel better seemed to have gone missing. Sam made me too nervous to think straight.

  “There are some things in life that are more important than fun. And honestly, I never saw what was so great about being irresponsible. Especially the pot thing. The last thing I ever wanted to do was turn into a stoner and give up on the rest of my life. I’ve seen it happen, you know. Talk about a fucking waste,” he said, the words tinged with bitterness.

  It was the perfect, adult answer. It made me respect him so much more and made me feel even more silly and frivolous than I already did in comparison. I felt the same way I did when I’d read all those texts from my former friends. I cleared my throat and tried not to do any further damage.

  “Right. Well, Maya seems like a great girl. You must be really proud.”

  When in doubt, try flattery. It always seemed to do the trick. This time was no exception.

  “I am. She’s amazing. I’m a lucky guy.”

  There was another question I wanted to ask, and even though the conversation wasn’t going all that well, I decided to risk it. It’s not like I could say anything to make it worse.