MisStaked

by J. Morgan

  LCP, Incorporated was founded twenty-five years ago. For the most part, it was a medical research company. She scanned the available files. Since its formation, the company primarily dealt with finding cures for diseases attacking the blood. Over the years they had made some minor breakthroughs. Those breakthroughs rocketed the company into the Fortune Five-Hundred.

  Luna sat back. Diseases of the blood were a little too close to a home run to be coincidental. What was vampirism, if it wasn't a disease of the blood? Plus, a company who worked with blood research would have plenty of the stuff on hand, giving a vampire a steady supply of the rich stuff.

  This had to be it, but she needed something more—a name. Somebody had to be behind all this. Digging back into the site, she came up with it. Leopold du Chambris Portus, the company's founder, as well as its chief researcher. There was no picture available, but there was a bio.

  Leopold du Chambris Portus was the son of Belgian immigrants, who had come to this country after World War II. He had attended the Sorbonne for his medical degree, and then returned to America and founded LCP after his mother died of a rare blood disease. The bio said he wouldn't stop until he defeated all such afflictions.

  The bio was so sickeningly sweet she wanted to gag. He had to be the one behind the attack. Too many things fell into place for him not to be. Proof was the one thing she didn't have, though, and the one thing she needed before making any accusations.

  At least they had a name to watch for. If anyone connected with LCP showed up, they'd know to watch out for them. Luna didn't know how Breathred was making out, but for the first time today she was batting a thousand.

  Luna turned off the computer. It was time to get going. Finding the last piece of the puzzle was going to make her late. She would have to make sure to call Breathred when she got home, so he wouldn't worry. He was such a worrywart. He'd just have to deal with her tardiness. She still had to get ready and she needed to pack some stuff to bring over to Breathred's house. She checked her watch. There was less than an hour until sundown. Still plenty of time to get to the Jumper.

  The girl smiled. Breathred was probably worrying about her and she wasn't even due yet. It comforted her to see her chosen had finally seen the light. It had been a long time since someone had worried about her. The feeling was kinda nice.

  * * * *

  The Java Jumper was crowded. Breathred had a big problem with the packed house. He wasn't able to watch the door. His usual seat was taken, so he had to grab a seat far in the back. Normally, he would have been okay with a change in his seating. Of course that was before vampires started jumping out of the woodwork, and Luna decided today was the perfect time to be fifteen minutes late. She was never late.

  Stud wasn't as worried as he was, but the chimp didn't look exactly calm either. Even though Stud was trying to hide it, Breathred saw him watching the sidewalk through the window. The nervous twitch was the giveaway.

  If she didn't show soon, Stud was liable to go look for her. He had that way about him. Breathred had to give the chimp his due. He may be a Smart Alec and sawed-off, but he was loyal. When it came to Luna, the monkey was downright parental in a funny, you-Jane-me-Cheeta sort of way.

  Breathred flicked at a drop of latte in his saucer. Ten more minutes, then he'd get her himself. It was close to dusk. That left her open to just about anything.

  Now, who was going all parental? No, he was going all boyfriendal, if there was even such a word. The way Breathred saw it, it was his responsibility to look after her. Not exactly a modern way to view things, but he couldn't help himself. That was just the way he was. Breathred looked toward the door, thinking he heard it open. It was just another customer looking for a respite from the rain. Where was she?

  The opening of the door brought a hush to the friends. Luna stood haloed by the dying sunlight. The door slid shut behind her, diffusing the radiance. Breathred rose to go to her. As the light dwindled away, he stopped short. She was ... she was beautiful.

  Luna wore a black dress slit up the side revealing a shapely leg. Breathred blushed at the sight. Her normally-straight hair hung in flowing curls that looped around her perfect face and shoulders. A silver and turquoise necklace was nestled above her well-rounded breasts that bloomed from the top of the black dress. A plain old Nike bag thrown across her shoulder was the only indication she was the same girl he knew.

  Breathred was rooted to the floor. It was his standby reaction when confronted by a beautiful woman. It had served him well over the years. Never once had he been rebuked when using it. It was almost like a survival instinct.

  But, how did it apply to one's own girlfriend? This was a question worth considering. He thought back to all the movies he had watched over years. To stand agog was good for only so long. Sooner or later, he had to do something. What would John Cusack do in this situation?

  "Uh huh uh brubba dok goob,” was the best he could manage to say.

  "Oh, Breathy you say the sweetest things,” Luna gushed.

  "You understood that pile of drivel?” Stud poked his head around the dumbfounded slayer.

  "Of course. He said I look lovely tonight. Didn't you, Sweetie?” She turned toward Breathred. Before he had a chance to answer, she planted a kiss on his quivering lips.

  Slipping past him, she sat down in the booth. Luna motioned for her friends to return to their seats. Stud shrugged and hopped into the booth beside her. Breathred, on the other hand, was still immobilized by the sight of her.

  It took Edith to get his butt moving toward the table. “Girl, do you know how much you had us worried. What took you so long?"

  "Yeah, my boy Breathred was damn near pissing himself waiting for you,” Stud added, giving her a sly wink.

  "I was not. I went before we left the house,” Breathred said, breaking his silence.

  "Look, I'm sorry, but I ran late at the college."

  "Don't you know how to use a phone?” Stud snapped.

  "I called. Honest I did. Your father said you were already gone, so I got here as fast as I could."

  "I believe you,” Breathred said softly. “But you shouldn't worry us like that."

  "I won't do it again,” Luna answered. She patted his hand. “You big lug. You're going to make me go all sappy, if you don't watch out."

  "Look, if all this mushy crap is over, can we get down to business?” Stud croaked, wiping a tear from his eye. Damned, if they weren't making him go all sappy.*

  *Those of you who remember back to the front of the book, I am the one writing this damn book. If I want to get all sappy, a chimp's got as much right to as anybody. Now, leave me alone and get back to the fecking book.

  Edith gave him a dirty look. He dismissed it and turned back to the lovebirds. They were both giving him a hurt look. He was glad to see the mood was adequately broken. That was good. They needed their heads screwed on straight.

  For some reason, for just one instant, Breathred had the impurest of thoughts. For one brief second, he actually thought about kissing her with his tongue. The idea both sickened and excited him at the same time. The whole thing made him want to wash his mind with holy water.

  "Did you find anything at the college?” Breathred asked, glad to be free from the moment.

  "Oh, yeah. I think we have our vampire.” She dug in her purse. They waited until she finally looked up, shaking a sheet of paper in her slender fingers. “Here it is. Vampire of the month goes to Leopold du Chambris Portus."

  "Did you just say Chambris Portus?” Stud asked, not quite believing his ears.

  "Sure did, short stuff. If this guy ain't a vampire, I'll eat your shorts,” Luna said, hotly.

  "Hey, I believe you, but come on. What kind of name is Chambris Portus? It sounds like something you throw out of a window during the middle-ages."

  "What makes you think this is our guy?” Breathred asked, not wanting to give Stud a chance to give voice to his next thought.

  She handed him the paper. “Here, check
this out."

  Breathred took a few minutes to read through the bio. After letting the information sink in, he slid the sheet over to Stud. She was right. This guy had vamp written all over him. Worst of all, the sucker was dogging their back yard. By now, he probably had everything about them sitting in front him.

  His first impulse was to back out. When this was a nice little game, it might have been different. This was shaping up to be too dangerous. A member of the team he could deal with, but this guy—he had all the cards. Was Breathred willing to risk Stud and Luna's life on the chance she was wrong?

  "I know what you're thinking, Big Daddy, so stop it. We can handle this joker,” Stud said without a trace of doubt in his voice.

  "Stud, this isn't some video game. You and Luna could get hurt. We aren't doing this,” Breathred announced, crossing his arms.

  "No, you look. The arm crossing thing only works when I do it. We're a team. You may be our leader, but we all have a say in this,” Luna blurted out.

  "I won't put you at risk. This is too much for us. This character's been around since the forties. For all we know he could be older than dirt. What are we to him? Jeez, we're a monkey, a girl, and an idiot. We can't make this work,” Breathred moaned.

  "Breathred E. Petrifunck, you may be goofy. You might even be a little off in the head, but the one thing I never thought you were, was a quitter,” Luna groused.

  "No, I'm a realist. Luna, if anything happened to you, I couldn't forgive myself.” Breathred reached for her hand.

  She pulled his head up until his eyes met hers. “I'm a big girl. Plus, I believe in you. Do you think I'd go into this, if I didn't think you could do this? That we could do this? So, put those silly thoughts out of your head. We're going to do this, because there ain't nobody else. Do you get me?"

  "You tell him, girl,” Edith chimed in.

  Breathred didn't answer. He just looked at the faces around him. Each one said the same thing—Luna's right. Doggone it, she was. The last time Breathred checked the yellow pages, he was the only vampire slayer listed. Unless somebody else stepped up, the vampires would win. The Mother would rise and the world, as they knew it, would end. How could he back away from that?

  "Okay, we do it,” Breathred whispered. “But each one of you will do what I say. If it gets too rough, we get out of there. There's no discussion. It's my decision, not yours. As long as you agree to it, we're on,” he said, looking each in the eye in turn.

  "Deal,” Luna said, glad to see the fire back in his eye.

  Stud wouldn't be the odd man out. “Hey, I'm the monkey. I do what you say."

  "I think you're all crazy. That's why white people don't make it out of a horror movie alive. Y'all are just too stupid to know when to run.” Edith jumped to her feet and pointed one long finger at Breathred. “You make damn sure you bring my girl home safe. The monkey, too, as long as you're at it."

  "I didn't know you cared, Toots.” Stud winked at her.

  Edith gave him a good-natured slap on the back. “I don't. I just don't want yo’ monkey ass coming back and biting me on the neck."

  "You have my word,” Breathred said, wrapping her in a bear hug.

  "Now, get out of here, before somebody starts talking smack,” Edith snorted.

  "Okay, guys. You heard the lady, let's head ‘em up and move ‘em out. We got a job to do,” Breathred ordered. Whatever happened tonight, one thing was for sure; it wouldn't be dull.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Thirteen

  When witches gather, they call it a coven. When vampires gather, they call it a massacre.

  Leopold looked down on the filling banquet room. The two-way mirror afforded the vampire a clear view of the entire room. He could even see that luscious waiter with the oh-so-tight buns snitching a shrimp from an appetizer cart. They didn't grow them like that when he came from. If they had, he hadn't noticed for damn sure.

  He tore himself away from the sight. This was business. Pleasure could come later. Where the hell was Lewis? His companion should be here by now. Lewis knew how to talk to these people. He could but chose not to. It was just his apprentice knew the lingo. One of the reasons Leopold kept the young vampire around. It sure wasn't for his fashion sense. The boy wouldn't know a cummerbund from a cucumber.

  Leopold turned away from the mirror. This night had been over twenty years in the making. He had heard rumors of the Mother for years. Almost since his first night as a lord of the undead, the whispers from the old ones danced through the air. Off and on for centuries, Leopold looked for some trace of her beyond the myths that circulated through his world.

  His first bit of concrete evidence came over a century ago in the jungles of the Amazon. It was just a fragment of a name carved in a mountainside, but it was enough to further fuel his obsession. Since then, he had stumbled across other arcane references, but nothing like this tablet of Grayson's.

  He might have missed it all together if Lewis hadn't set his computer to scan for such things. The professor had posted her findings on the university's web site. The fool woman didn't even know what she had found. Leopold did not suffer from such misconceptions. She had found the Mother's tomb. With everything he had learned from her, he would soon have both the Mother and the power she represented.

  Leopold had even gone so far as to buy this hotel to help insure everything would proceed as planned. This game would start on his playing ground. As long as he controlled the setting, he controlled the game. Dr. Grayson would bring her motley crew to him and he would see the one who was to be his agent—his eyes among them.

  Badly as he wanted to, Leopold could not join them in this venture. He would not be blind in this. He planned to be close, but not so close as to give himself away. To accomplish that, he needed someone on the inside; someone who could serve him without drawing attention to his true purpose. This get-together's sole purpose was to bring him just such an agent.

  The door clicked open behind him. Good, Lewis was here. Leopold looked at his servant. The younger vampire was so subdued in his dress, Leopold almost didn't recognize him. Instead of his usual flamboyant outfits, Lewis was dressed in a conservative suit, Armani or some other bourgeois designer who these fickle moderns sought after so earnestly.

  "You are late,” Leopold hissed.

  "Man, it takes time to look this square,” Lewis snarled, pulling at his collar.

  "Are you a reject from Happy Days that I have to hear the word square uttered in my presence?"

  "Chill man."

  "Now, you give me Huggy Bear. If I wanted to revisit the seventies, I'd watch Nick at Nite. You'd better shape up or by God I'll shove the stake in you myself!” Leopold shouted.

  "Leo, you need to calm down. We still have plenty of time before this thing kicks off. You seriously need to find some bitch on Prozac and take a tug, ‘cause this shit ain't cool. Dig?” This honky was getting on his nerves. Leopold had better watch it or he'd show him what black power was all about.

  Leopold waved a lace-gloved hand in Lewis’ face. “I will calm down, when I see fit to do so. Until then, you will do what I say. Do we understand each other?"

  "Whatever. So what do you want?” Lewis asked, not really giving a rat's ass anymore. This suit was itchy. As soon as this was over, it was straight back to some good old polyester.

  "I want you to get down there and find me a thrall amid those lackluster academicians. Try to find someone who has at least a modicum of style. I will not be represented by a dud, and I am unanimous in that,” Leopold stated with a mad gesture to illustrate his point.

  Lewis gave him a thumbs-up. “You got it, Big Cheese."

  "Do you have the speech I prepared for you?” Leopold inquired, nervousness overriding his anger.

  Maybe Lewis was right. He was feeling a little high-strung at the moment. A little chilling out might do him some good. Now, wasn't the time though. He had to see this to the end. Then, he would cool out. Perhaps with the dishy waiter-boy
.

  "I got it right here.” Lewis tapped the side of his head. “Hey, Man. Are you even listening to me?"

  "Of course I am, Cretin. You just do your job.” Leopold walked back to the mirror.

  Lewis joined him. The room below them had filled as they had talked. Lewis watched the humans mill around like cattle. Cattle he couldn't touch, he reminded himself. Something about all that forbidden fruit called to him, despite the fact he had fed before arriving.

  He chanced to look through the two-way mirror toward the door, as it popped open. The sight that greeted him had him hugging the glass. Coming through the door was the virgin. And he had the monkey and the girl with him. What were they doing here? Wait a minute. Dr. Grayson was walking up to them. They were part of the team!

  How lucky could they get? This little soiree would kill two birds in one stroke. The best part was he would dump the whole thing in Leopold's lap. He was pretty sure the girl could recognize him. So, that zeroed him out of Leo's mission impossible. The old man would have to handle this one all by himself.

  "Leopold, look over by the good professor,” Lewis advised.

  "What is it now?"

  Then, it hit him. The scent was as rich as he had ever smelled. Purity was so strong in the air it hurt to even contemplate it. He followed Lewis’ finger. At first thought he thought it was the girl, but he was mistaken. It was the man. How could a man get that old and not—well you know?

  "Lewis you were right. He will do magnificently.” Leopold gasped.

  "Good news, bad news. They know me by sight, so you'll have to handle the party, Boss.” Lewis loved dropping that bomb.

  "Are you sure?” Leopold asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

  "The girl made me at the mall. If I go down there, the jig is up, my friend,” Lewis said, deciding it was best not to remind Leopold about the fiasco at the nightclub. The time for fun and games was over, if he ever wanted to hear about something other than the Mother for the rest of his unnatural life.