"Did you know you were pregnant before we left?"
Nalin pulled away and sat up. She pivoted her body to face him and bent her knees up to her chest. She prepared herself to use her remaining energy to argue with her husband, knowing that he would head back to their cabin the next morning if she admitted she was pregnant. Then she noticed the look on his face and the fight left her. He looked pained and conflicted. It would hurt him to disappoint her and turn back, she realized. He didn't want her pregnancy to be a fact either.
She responded, looking past him at a paisley design on the wall. "I was pretty sure, but I hoped it wasn't true. That's why I didn't let on."
Carter reached to take her hand. "I know how you must have felt. The whole time we rode here after you got sick, I tried to convince myself something else caused you to throw up. Like the apple I gave you."
Nalin smiled bitterly. "No, not a bad apple. A bad egg. They're all bad eggs that never become anything more. This one will be the same."
"I know that might be true, honey," he said. "It's terribly unfortunate. You so looked forward to this trip."
Nalin waited for Carter to tell her they would return home tomorrow, but his next sentence surprised her. "Do you still want to go to the convention, Nalin? I'll leave it up to you."
She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. She stared at him. Before hearing his words, she viewed Carter as a barrier she needed to climb in order to get to the convention. He had always taken care of her, which included making decisions that involved her health and safety. It was a new experience, having to decide for herself.
Now that the choice was hers, she felt overwhelmed. She wanted to do the right thing, which she felt was probably to return home. She also wanted to go to the convention, meet the leaders of the suffrage movement, and open her mind to new experiences. The baby wouldn't survive anyway, she kept thinking. Still, what if it did this time if she obeyed the doctor's order? How could she ever know if she disregarded it?
Carter was still lying on his back, his eyes on her face. He released her hand and reached up to touch her cheek. "I know it's a hard decision, sweet girl. If you don't want to make it, tell me and I'll decide."
Nalin's teared up a little. "You are such a good man, Carter. I don't know what I did to deserve you."
"Nonsense. I hit pay dirt with you too." He took her hand again and said gently but with some sternness, "The time to decide is now. I'll have your decision or else your agreement to obey what I choose."
"Carter, I'm frustrated with myself. I'm a terrible example of a proponent for women's rights. I have an important choice to make, and I want a man to make it. This is what I mean when I say I have failed as a suffragette. What if I make the wrong decision? Please, you decide. I will obey."
Carter sat up and held her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "I'm getting sour on you describing yourself as a failure. Making a decision like this is new to you, just like not making it is new to me. Be a little patient with yourself. You hear me?"
Nalin tried to nod her head. "Yes, sir."
Carter released her chin. "Okay. This is my decision. We'll continue on to the convention. I'll book a room near it, and any time you feel tired or sick, we'll return to the hotel so you can rest. Also," he continued, growing sterner, "You will rest in the room whenever I think you seem tired, even if you disagree with my assessment."
That was not the decision she expected him to make. She grabbed his hands. "Thank you. I don't know what else to say but thank you for deciding that for me."
"Say you'll stop being so hard on yourself. It angers me."
"Okay," she said, smiling. "I don't wish to make you angry."
His expression softened and he winked at her. "It's never a good idea."
"Let's get some sleep," she said, happiness adding a lilt to her voice. She laid back down facing away from him and pulled the quilt over her shoulders.
"Yes, ma'am." He snuggled up behind her and pulled her into his arms. They drifted into sleep.
Chapter 7
Lickin' Butter off a Knife
Carter wasn't confident in his decision to press forward and attend the convention. He planned to keep a watchful eye on Nalin throughout the rest of the journey and during the event. He worried as they bumped along in the buggy the next day. Nalin had a determined set to her jaw that told him she was uncomfortable but working hard to hide it from him. She threw up twice in the morning but hadn't done so for a few hours and had even eaten some lunch, which made him feel a little more at ease.
Although he felt uncertain about his decision, he was glad Nalin had let him be the one to make it. She probably would have chosen the same option. If the baby inside her died, she would have no cause to blame herself. He preferred to live with that than have Nalin suffer the guilt.
Not a single cloud dotted the sky to soften the blazing sun during their journey. The air was dry and windy, and the horse kicked up dirt that blew in their faces. Nalin wrapped a red bandanna around her mouth and nose and tilted her bonnet down to block the sun from her eyes. As their rough eight-hour journey was coming to an end, Carter noticed a wagon approaching, drawn by two horses. He suspected that the outfit came from Dallas, which he could see in the distance. The wagons neared each other, and he observed a couple of tough-looking young cowboys sitting in the front. Both parties pulled to a stop.
Carter exchanged howdys with the men, and Nalin nodded her hello.
"You boys coming from Dallas?" Carter asked.
"Yessiree. You don't have much farther to go. What's your business there?"
"We're attending the women's suffrage convention the next two days. Have you seen the setup or speakers?" Carter asked.
One of the cowboys chuckled. "Aye. We saw them ribs setting up. Lots of biddies are flooding the city. The sage hen beside you one of them?"
Nalin pulled her bandanna down from her mouth. "Yes, this hen is one of them," she said scornfully. "The suffragettes are not ribs, I'll have you know. I'd wager each of the women speaking tomorrow has more matter above the neck than a hundred of you saddle bums combined."
Carter stared at her, then turned back to the cowboys. A red anger crept into the cheeks of the young man on the receiving end of his wife's tongue-lashing. Addressing Carter, he said, "Might want to keep your big-mouthed biddy in check. She won't speak again if she knows what's good for her."
Carter felt furious with his wife for her incivility, but he didn't like the young man's response to it either. "I hope that wasn't a threat," he said evenly.
"Not a threat, just a little advice. I'd hate for her to get in the way of my fist when it starts swingin'."
Carter scowled. "That's a threat for sure, and I don't take kindly to threats to my wife. I suggest we all move along. I don't wish to raise sand."
"Fine by me. Have a good day, bucko. Same to your soiled dove." The cowboy snapped a whip in the air, and his horses set off at a trot.
Carter turned his scowl on his wife. "What were you thinking, Nalin, insulting a perfect stranger like that?"
"He insulted me first," she said, her eyes flashing at him. "And surely you heard him call me a prostitute just now."
"I did, and I'm forcing myself to stay here and give you a seeing-to instead of slogging the daylights out of him, which would accomplish nothing. I demand to know how he insulted you first. I heard nothing of the sort from him."
"He laughed scornfully about the convention. There was a sneer in his voice when he referred to educated ladies as ribs and biddies. I'll have you know that's insulting language. Also, he talked to you about me like I wasn't here, like I'm not even a person! I couldn't just sit and take it from that mush-head."
Carter rubbed the back of his neck. "Nalin, at worst he gave you a nudge. You returned a wallop. A woman should know better than to attack a man's pride like that. I won't always be by your side to protect you from ill-mannered scamps."
"A man should know better than to attack a woman'
s pride, too," Nalin snapped. "That's what you don't seem to understand."
Carter felt his jaw clench. "You give me great cause for worry, woman. How can you be so naïve? In all your wisdom, surely you understand the physical limitations of women. Women can't go around sassing men who may or may not be honorable. It's not safe."
"It's not fair is what it is. It's not fair that a man can insult a woman just because he's stronger. I can't take it. I have more brains in my smallest toe than that man has in his whole head."
"You can and you will take it, you hear me? Especially if I'm not around. Your brains won't help you much in a physical fight. You hold that smart tongue of yours next time you feel insulted by a man. You can tell me about it after, and I'll set the man straight if warranted."
Nalin glared at him, then wrapped the bandanna around her mouth to indicate she was finished speaking with him and looked straight ahead.
Carter grabbed the bandanna down off her mouth. "Are you going to mind my words?"
"Yes," she said, her eyes dark and fierce.
"Do you need a session over my knee to make sure of that? I'm not sure I've gotten through to you."
"No, I've got it."
"Very well." Carter pushed the bandanna back in front of her mouth in a vain attempt to keep her from speaking further and slapped the reins on the horse, who ambled forward.
"I know you wouldn't spank me in my condition anyway," Nalin said behind the cloth, her tone challenging. "So there's no use threatening it."
"That does it!" Carter pulled the horse to a stop again and lifted the brake. He stepped down and moved to the back of the buggy where he retrieved his quirt.
"Carter, what are you doing? Why have you—"
"Enough of your blather," he said in a booming voice as he walked to her side of the buggy. "Get down now." He held his hand out to her. Nalin ignored the proffered assistance, so he stepped up and grabbed her squirming body into his arms.
He held her waist perpendicular to his, balancing her on his hip with one arm and keeping her in a bent position with her face toward the ground behind him. She was unable to touch the dirt with her feet. She twisted but couldn't release herself from his hold or even move much except to kick.
"How's your intelligence helping you now, Nalin?"
Indignant, she continued to struggle, while Carter continued to hold her with little effort. "I asked you a question, young lady. How's it helping you?"
"Let me go," she said. "You've made your point." She punched him on the back of his leg, which did little but annoy him.
"Have I?" Carter landed a stinging blow to her bottom with the quirt, which made her cry out. He continued to hold her wiggling body off the ground.
"Yes, sir, you have."
"Sure about that?" He snapped the whip on her backside again.
She stopped struggling. "Yes. I understand what you're proving to me."
He dipped her to her feet and released his hold. He pointed the quirt at the buggy seat. "Hide your ass on that seat before I decide to finish the whipping."
Nalin's wet eyes conveyed how betrayed she felt by his actions. Her hands closed into fists at her side. "How could you treat me so brutishly in my condition?"
"I don't believe I've mistreated you, Nalin. I want you to remember your limitations. A man can take you in hand as easy as lickin' butter off a knife. He would be at fault if he did, not you, and I'd make him sorry. But for you own safety, I'll not allow you to provoke."
"Carter, it's not fair. You don't know what it's like to—"
"For heaven's sake! Hush your mouth, woman. It may not be fair, but it's the way it is. You must live in the real world, not some fairytale land you read about in your books."
Carter offered his hand to assist her ascent. She again denied it and offered him in return a withering scowl before gathering her skirts and climbing into her seat. Carter rolled his eyes. He tossed the quirt in the back as he rounded the wagon and climbed up next to her.
Nalin spoke, her voice low and accusatory, "You reckon we're going to lose the baby anyway, so it doesn't matter if you're rough with my person."
Carter urged the horse forward. Her words angered him, partly because they were true. His voice held heat. "I wasn't very rough with you, Nalin, but you're right in a way. I don't care about what's growing inside of you at the moment. I only care about you, and harm will come to you if you continue with your brazen behavior."
Nalin took in a sharp breath. "That's real blunt to say you don't care about our baby." She raised her voice to a shout. "It's downright wicked and unvirtuous not to care, Carter!"
"I never claimed to be virtuous," Carter snapped back. "To blazes with having children. If it were up to me, you'd never be with child again. It just about ruins me every time I watch you suffer another loss. I hope this is the last time I'll be forced to watch you dispel pieces of another half-baked creature."
Nalin gasped. His words silenced her, and Carter soon regretted what he'd said. After a few minutes of hearing his harsh words repeated in his head, he groaned.
"Forgive me, Nalin. Everything I just said was ghastly and deplorable."
A few more minutes went by before Nalin surprised him and laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. They held hands without speaking for some time. The wind howled and the horse continued at a smart clip along the path. The sun began to set in front of them, casting an orange glow over the outline of their destination city. Nalin released his hand and removed her sunbonnet. She tossed her head from side to side, fluffing her hair.
"By the way, my getting pregnant is up to you," Nalin said. A tease crept into her voice. "You could stop pinning me on my back and poking me every chance you get. That would ensure an empty womb."
Carter gave her a sidelong glance, filled with sudden lust at her crude description of sex as well as her wild hair that begged to be tamed. He scoffed. "Poppycock."
"What do you mean, poppycock? You do know that's how babies come about, don't you?" A grin spread across her face.
"Yes, I'm well aware. I also know you wouldn't last a week without my lovin', little girl."
Nalin laughed and scooted closer so that her thigh touched his. She tilted her head up for a kiss, which he gave to her while she rubbed the part of his trousers that covered his cock. It twitched to life under her hand.
When his lips released hers, she said in a purr, "You're right. I need you."
Carter's deep voice rumbled back at her. "You're naughty to tease me like that, Mrs. Barnes. Do you want another spanking?"
She unbuttoned his trousers and released his cock. It went from mostly hard to rock hard within seconds of her hand wrapping around it. "I'm not teasing, Mr. Barnes. It's not only you who has power. There are some things I can do as easy as lickin' butter off a knife. This isn't much different from that, come to think of it." She bent down, flattened her tongue against the base of his cock and dragged it to the tip, then looked up at him sideways with a cheeky smile. "See?"
Carter pulled the horse to a stop. "Have mercy, woman."
Nalin licked her lips. "Keep an eye out for folks. I'll be too busy down here to notice anybody."
Carter closed his eyes as her lips tightened around his cock and her tongue grazed the tip again. He inwardly swore he'd lambast the first traveler on the path who interrupted the labor of her sweet mouth. Luckily, no one did, and he soon felt the shudder of pleasure go through him. He released a deep noise from his throat and watched as Nalin took his seed on her face. She settled her head on his thigh while he recovered.
After catching his breath, he laced his fingers through her hair and tilted her head to get the full view of her face. What he saw would never leave his memory. Her wanton smile brought his seed to gather around her chapped lips. Some of her dusty hair tangled around his hand and the rest blew in the wind. Her cheek and brow, smoldering in the setting Texas sun, glowed with her sweat and the results of his pleasure. Then there were her fierce eyes, b
rimming with love and looking straight into his very soul. The love he felt for her was profound.
"Your beauty is out of this world," he said gruffly. "From heaven or hell, I'm not sure which." He released her head and handed her a clean handkerchief from his pocket. Nalin poured water from the canteen onto it. While she cleaned her face, Carter adjusted himself back into his pants.
"What inspired that? I thought I offended you terribly."
Nalin swallowed the water she was drinking. She looked at him with shimmering eyes. "You love me. You love me more than you want a child."
"Of course, Nalin. Surely you knew that already."
"I didn't realize how much my suffering hurt you. You seem so unemotional during the miscarriages. I never knew what you're thinking or if you even felt sad."
"Oh, Nalin. If I seem unemotional, it's because I try to be strong for you, not because I don't feel sad."
Nalin looked deeply into his eyes and said with total sincerity, "I accused you of being unvirtuous for not caring about our baby. I'm ever so grateful to you for being unvirtuous and caring so much about me instead."
Carter scratched his head and looked at her for a moment before he smiled. "First of all, young lady, if it's unvirtuous to care about you, then I'm pure evil. And secondly," he continued, pulling her to him to growl the next words in her ear. "My dick and I are grateful for your lack of virtue too, Mrs. Barnes."
"Carter!" Nalin gasped, her body stiffening. She was somehow more scandalized by hearing the word to describe his manhood than by her mouth milking it minutes ago. She pulled away from his embrace and burst out laughing.
"I love making you laugh like that," Carter said, still smiling.
"You slay me." Her tone became serious again. "Carter, I'm glad you're with me and that you protect me. I'm sorry I've been a difficult traveling companion."
"The thing about you, darlin', is that you are a delight, even when you're a challenge. I love every bit of you, the whole kit and caboodle. Now, let's get a wiggle on. We're only two whoops and a holler away."
Chapter 8
The Submissive Suffragette (Lone Star Love Book 1) Page 6