Love and Chaos: A Growing Pains Novel

by K. F. Breene

  Why did she breathe so loud when she was sneaking up on someone?

  For that matter, why was she sneaking up on him? What was she going to do, stand at the edge of the bed like a creep and watch him sleep? That wouldn’t set off warning bells if he woke up or anything. What am I doing, you ask? Oh, nothing, just standing here with a hungry expression, watching you at your most vulnerable. Why?

  She took two more careful steps, wind milling again when her foot hit something that felt like wadded up jean. Her balance drifted and she had to do a quick shuffle to the side. The edge of her hand hit off wood, sounding a dull thunk within the silent room. She cradled her hurt pinky in her other hand and paused.

  Wait…why was the room so silent? He wasn’t doing that heavy, deep breathing people did when they were sleeping. Was he awake?

  Suddenly terrified she’d be caught at her most psychotic, she bent like a cat burglar on a roof. Waiting, though not sure exactly what she was waiting for, she held her breath.

  “What are you doing, Cassie?”

  Oh shit!

  Without even thinking, she shuffled toward the exit, a manic giggle exploding out of her. She slapped her hand over her mouth as she reached the door, nearly bursting through and sprinting to her room like a naughty kid. That would be weird, though…

  She stood silently on the inside of the room of a man she thought was sleeping, that she hadn’t been invited into, and waited. Which, thankfully, was not at all weird…

  “Cass?”

  Movement from the bed. She could just make out his shape sitting up, mostly dark moving through really dark. “You okay?”

  “Um.” She didn’t let go of the handle. “Yup. I, ah…”

  He didn’t speak.

  “So, I was just going to come in and…ahm…see you,” she whispered. “How long have you been awake?”

  “I heard you leave your room.”

  “Ah.” She didn’t know what to say now. Or what she was doing, besides playing strange stalking games in his room in the middle of the night.

  She was making this awkward. She should really say something, but somehow, “Sorry I got dunked in the ‘sometimes imbalanced gene pool’,” didn’t seem like a good excuse.

  “Come here,” he said softly.

  The awkwardness deflated like a balloon. Heaving a sigh, Cassie crossed the room with the grace she could’ve used a moment ago. When her foot touched jean, she put out her hand to brace herself on the nightstand. She reached for fingers barely visible in the soft moonlight. And then strong arms grabbed her and pulled her in, clutching her tightly against his bare chest.

  “You’re a crackpot,” he whispered softly, dragging her into bed with him. She felt his lips on hers, hungry and passionate. She opened her mouth, letting him fill it with his taste, as he tucked her under his body.

  “Why were you creeping in?” he asked, his lips resting against hers.

  “I don’t know. Just seemed like I was doing something wrong. Why are you still awake?”

  “I was thinking about you. I’d nearly gotten out of bed to come get you when I heard your door handle jiggle.”

  “I should probably be embarrassed.” Cassie ran her hands up his smooth arms and over his shoulders.

  “Probably.” She could hear the laughter in his voice though she couldn’t see his expression.

  His kiss, deep and slow, had her mind swirling. His hands connected with her thighs, pulling them apart and settling more firmly between her legs. His hard length rested against her sweet spot as one of his hands felt up her hip, to her stomach, and then settled on a breast. Moaning softly, in decadent heaven, Cassie tilted up her hips to get more friction.

  “Wait,” Jace said, putting his hands on the mattress to either side of her. He pushed himself up and moved off of her body into a seated position to her side.

  “What?” she asked, the cold air replacing his warmth cutting into her like frostbite. “What’s the matter?”

  He crawled over her and off of the bed, his large erection apparent as he strode to the dresser next to the window. While she loved a man who slept naked, she didn’t love a man who stopped her when she was in the mood. Especially since they already balanced on such a precarious ledge emotionally.

  “We need to…get our bearings,” Jace said softly as he dug around in the top drawer.

  Frost bite intensified, freezing down into Cassie’s chest. She didn’t want to hear he wasn’t interested. It would tear her heart out, and with a few more days of close proximity, she wouldn’t be able to hide the mess she’d turn into. Not from him.

  Plus, he knew she had the ability to get crazy; he’d know who to blame if his motorcycle somehow rolled down the nearest hill without a driver…

  He pulled out something and set it on the dresser top. A match flared a moment later, illuminating his handsome, but stoic, face as he lit a soft pink candle in a beaded holder.

  “Great taste…” She snickered as she turned on her side to face him, trying to pretend her heart wasn’t creating a mutiny inside her chest and trying to evacuate all organs. “Pulling out all the stops, huh? Tres romantique.”

  “It’s just one of the decorations my mother had up when I got here. And not the worst of them. I had put them all in the top drawer. It works, though.”

  “Hmm.” Cassie let her gaze travel over his naked form, perfection in the flesh. Unlike many men, he didn’t work more heavily on his arms—his legs were directly proportionate to the rest of him, defined and bulging with muscle. His abs, which she had seen before, of course, led down into those trim hips, making the large girth of his sex capture the eye.

  “Taking it all in?” he asked, crossing slowly to the bed like a panther on the prowl. That was exactly how his body moved. Sleek, dangerous, and just graceful enough to be stunning.

  “Not yet, but I’d like to soon.” She rolled onto her back as he reached for her, hoping she’d misunderstood his comment earlier, and then knowing a second of confusion when his hand closed around hers. He brought her to a seated position.

  “Cassie,” he said seriously, his gaze locked with hers. “I want to clear the air. I need to tell you the truth.”

  Icy fingers closed around her chest as his gaze held hers solemnly. Please don’t tell me you still have a fiancée. Or that you don’t like me as much as I like you. Please don’t…

  “I love you.”

  The world ground to a halt, those words dodging through her uncertainty and sinking in.

  Her stomach took off running. Her eyes filled with tears and her lips started to quiver—those three words had never sounded so good as they did in his voice.

  “It’s soon, I know,” he said, resting his palm on her cheek. “Only a handful of days. But I’m always so careful—in the past, I mean. I’ve always waited, and held out, easing into relationships slowly. Feeling it out before I waded in. What was the point? It didn’t save me heartache. It didn’t prevent bad decisions. And now I feel so strongly—have felt so strongly, from the very beginning. I left that store that first day, hating myself for not getting your number. For not having the courage to follow you out to your car. So…I mean, I feel it, I figure I better just come clean and say it. Get it all out on the table. You don’t have to say anything bac—“

  “I love you, too,” she interrupted, a tear overflowing. “And I am so relieved I’m not alone in that feeling. Such a huge weight lifted.”

  His eyes took on a soft but intense look as their gazes held, exposing themselves to each other. Relishing in this feeling they shared.

  “Might as well rush into it together, huh?” Cassie asked with a watery smile.

  He leaned forward and kissed her softly. “We’re not rushing—we’re just not holding back. There’s a difference. We’re jumping while holding hands, without fear of what’s coming.”

  “Give me some time to myself. I’ll conjure some fear.”

  “I hope not,” he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind h
er ear. “Speaking of what’s coming, though—I will visit you in L.A., if that offer is still on the table. Peter offered me to stay in his place, and that’ll be as good a place as any to figure things out.”

  “That offer is good. Door’s open.”

  A smile touched his lips before he leaned in. His lips nibbled hers before drifting down to her neck, kissing softly. Reverently. The hunger from earlier was still there, the passion unfurling within them both with each touch, but he kept it sweet. Gentle. It wasn’t a night for pushing boundaries; it was a night for basking in each other. In privacy and exploration.

  She sighed softly when his fingers danced up her inner thighs. He pulled off her tank top before pushing her to the mattress and removing her small briefs and undies. Fully naked now, Jace pushed her thighs apart and crawled between her legs. His soft lips kissed first one inner thigh, and then the other, before skimming up toward her apex.

  “Ohh,” she moaned as his tongue circled her clit, lazy and slow. His mouth dipped lower, licking and sucking, creating a hot warmth spreading through her body. He spread her wider and licked up her slit, driving all the air out of her lungs. A finger entered her, working in tandem with his mouth, heat spiking now. She pushed her hips upward, begging for him to increase the pressure. Mewing when a second finger joined the first, thrusting in and out of her as his tongue swirled expertly at the top of her slit.

  “Oh Jace.” She gyrated into him, clutching the sheets with claw-like hands, arching her back. He worked faster, making her pant now, writhing like a wild animal, thrusting up into his mouth with a hunger she didn’t care if she showed. One hand grabbed a fistful of his hair right before an intense orgasm ripped through her.

  All the pieces of her fractured self drifted back down into her now limp body. She felt soft kisses up her stomach and rested her hands on his solid shoulders. His hot mouth slid up to enclose her nipple, forcing out another soft moan. His mouth switched nipples, needing to taste both before working up to her mouth.

  Her eyes fluttered as his hot length rubbed along her swollen sex. His hands captured hers and brought them above her head, threading his fingers with hers. He deepened his kiss as he lined up his tip with her opening before firmly pushing into her body.

  “Hmm.” Cassie took a moment to exhale, his lips now resting against hers, savoring the feeling of his body entering hers.

  He started with a slow rhythm, sliding in and out of her slickness. Filling her up in the best of ways. Creating delicious friction that sent shooting sparks zinging through her body. She clutched his waist with her legs and lifted her hips up with each downward thrust.

  “I love you, Cassie,” he said softly as the pace increased. He rocked his body into her, striving to go deeper.

  She angled up to help him do just that, taking all of him, but barely. She clutched his hands and arched her breasts into him, her sensitive nipples rubbing off of his hard chest. He kissed her, the passion flaring again, fanning the heat, working together toward climax with ragged breathing and sensuous kisses.

  The second orgasm of the night tore through her, strangling a cry from her lips that was far too loud. He smothered her mouth with his and she moaned into him as her body quaked under him, shooting bursts of pleasure exploding within her.

  “Can you keep going?” he asked quietly, looking down at her. The flickering light illuminated his soft brown eyes, the gold seeming to dance within them.

  “Don’t be daft—I’m a chick. If you’re handing out orgasms, I’ll stick around until stock runs out.”

  Jace grinned and bent to kiss her, but she wiggled away, taking her hands back. She pushed at his big shoulder, making him rollover onto his back with minimal effort. She climbed onto his body and slid her hands up that glorious muscle. The man was all kinds of hot.

  And he loved her!

  Tingles filled her body as she slid her wetness along his length. His gaze combed her nudity and came to rest on her eyes. She rose up, reaching around herself to grab his shaft at the base. Lining it up, she sat down slowly, accepting his girth deep into her body. A strangled moan escaped his throat as she cupped and worked his balls, sliding her hips forward and back.

  His head tilted back and his eyes closed, his hands came to rest on her hips, spasmodically clutching and releasing with each of her hip jerks.

  “Keep doing…that, Cass. Please…keep…” Words escaped him as she swirled her hips and started moving in a figure eight, timing the hard sit down when her body screamed for it.

  To that end, she dropped her free hand between her legs and worked her clit, closing her own eyes at the intense double stimulation.

  “Oh God, Cassie,” Jace whispered through a tight throat.

  She opened her eyes long enough to glance at him, his gaze pointed down at her hand, before smiling to herself and going back about her business. She moved faster now, slowly moving her hips for one sensuous turn before a hard sit-down. And again. Again. Until her movements were fast and her fingers worked away at her real pleasure area.

  Large, warm palms cupped her breasts, kneading before tweaking her nipples. Startling pleasure shot directly into her core. In one moment, she went from graceful lovemaking to wild abandon. Her rocking became jerky, her body overloaded with sensation.

  Firm hands grabbed her hips, lifting her into the air. He brought her back down with force as his groin surged upward, thrusting deeply. The breath was pushed from her lungs. Her mouth dropped open. Her head dropped back.

  “Oh, yes!” she exalted.

  He lifted her up, and then slammed her back down again, the pleasure so intense it shook loose her focus. Control fled. Artful maneuvering of hips was lost. Decorum gone. Wild, aching pleasure filled her world, coursing through her body and taking over her mind. She moaned repeatedly, begging without words for him never to stop. To keep her here forever.

  With the next lift up he rose up with her, and then tossed her onto the bed and mounted her quickly. He thrust into her ruthlessly, claiming her mouth with his and trapping her body. His hand worked between them, finding her pleasure spot and taking over the rubbing as he thrust into her. The bed groaned rhythmically, but he didn’t slow to quiet the noise. He worked harder, if anything, out of control. Uninhibited and primal, dominating that place she demanded in order to fulfill her craving.

  They worked into each other, not thinking. She scraped her nails down his back. He bit her shoulder. They fought with each other, on opposite sides working for the same goal. A contact sport with the best sort of violence.

  Cassie reached a new high, her body so strung out it vibrated. Pushed harder, higher, she strived for the end, needing to end this building. Needing to stop this exquisite torture.

  “Please. Please. Please, Jace…” She arched back, clutching onto his body as a lifeline. Too far gone. No awareness of the room around her.

  The waves of pleasure got closer together. The sensations pooled. His thrusts got harder, so deep inside of her. The need for release became unbearable. Until…she broke.

  An explosion so hard it should’ve rocked the whole house consumed her, rolling her eyes back in her head. Like being electrocuted, she shook with the release, huge bursts of pleasure exploded around her body.

  After a delicious moment, all her tense muscles relaxed, and she melted into the bed as small quakes went off in the aftermath, the orgasm too big for only one blast.

  Jace’s body liquefied on top of her, his face buried into the crux of her neck. She wanted to say she loved him. Or to wrap her arms around him. Or kiss him. But more than that, she didn’t want to think or move. So instead, she closed her eyes and silently thanked the turn of events in her life that had led her to Jace.

  Chapter 22

  Jace emerged from sleep, feeling like he was resurfacing from a deep sea dive. Cassie’s soft hand pushed at his shoulder, urging him to roll over. He did so with his eyes closed, grabbing ahold of her body and bringing her with. When her arms wrapped around him, and
her head rested on the hollow of his shoulder, he sighed contently.

  “I have to go.”

  It took him a minute to comprehend words. Instead of thinking about their meaning, he kissed the top of her head and drifted back to sleep.

  A moment later he felt her shaking him. “What is it, baby?” he asked lethargically.

  “Let me go. I have to go back to my room.”

  “This is your room. With me. Go back to sleep.” He squeezed her like a teddy bear before snuggling closer, the heavy arm of sleep dragging him back under.

  “Jace!” A hard little fist punched him in the kidney, blasting him awake.

  “Huh?” He looked around wildly. “What’s the matter? What happened?”

  Cassie’s indulgent laugh drifted through the flickering orange light. A soft hand slid along his chest. He turned his head, seeing her beautiful face angled up to him and said, “I am so glad I told you I loved you before we had sex tonight, or else you would’ve thought I was full of crap saying it to you now.”

  She smiled and kissed his chest. “I wouldn’t have thought you were full of crap, but it would’ve caused doubt.”

  “You rocked my world, Cass. Since I’m doing this whole laying it out there thing, I’ll admit that that was the best sex I have ever had. And before that, you were still the best I’d ever had.”

  She snuggled into him, giving a little feminine sound that made his heart thump. If he wasn’t so damn sated, he’d probably get a hard-on. “And coming from a man so experienced, that is quite a compliment.”

  He squeezed her.

  She followed up with, “Me, too. I fell off the decency train just a bit. Your back is going to sting, I think.”

  Realization dawned. He sat up quickly, bringing her with him. He pushed her head to the side gently to let the light from the candle fall across her shoulder. Dents of teeth marred her skin, but nothing too intense. “Did I go too far?”