A Measure of Deceit

by Jess Michaels

  Tears stung Grace’s eyes at the words, but she blinked them back, almost out of habit.

  “I’m sure you’re right,” she said, then smiled at Jacinda. “Now, tell me, have you and Jason thought of any names yet?”

  The women began to talk again about Jacinda’s unborn child, but as Grace listened to them, she thought again and again of Connor.

  She wanted to know more about him. Certainly she had shown more vulnerability with him than with anyone in her life. Even if she knew that he wouldn’t be hers forever, she wanted more. And she could only hope to find it the next time she saw him.

  Connor leaned back in his chair and smiled at the two men sitting across from his desk. His meeting with Seth and Jason had been nothing but pleasant, although thus far it had consisted mostly of friendly, idle chatter. Both men were in high spirits this morning and Connor was shocked, as always, to realize how much he liked them both.

  “I suppose we must get down to the meat of why we’re here,” Seth said.

  “Always the bore.” Jason laughed. “But also always annoyingly correct. It’s why I keep him as a friend.”

  Connor laughed, although anxiety had begun to mount in his chest. He knew how much this meeting could mean for his future.

  “I’ve prepared some financial documents,” he began, sliding over a copy of sales records and investments for a few of the titles he had published over the years. The two men leaned in, their heads close as they examined the lines of figures in silence.

  Connor held his breath as he watched them, knowing they were too intelligent not to see what was obvious on those pages. Seth lifted his gaze, but before he could say anything, the door to the office opened and Adrian stepped inside.

  Connor exhaled in relief and leapt to his feet. “Ah, I’m so glad you’re here, Adrian. You should be part of this meeting as well.”

  Adrian shot him a glance, then looked toward Seth and Jason, who were in the process of rising to their feet to greet the newcomer.

  “I didn’t realize you were entertaining,” his friend said slowly.

  Connor pursed his lips in displeasure. He hadn’t wanted to surprise Adrian like this, but he hadn’t had a chance to speak to his friend before Seth and Jason arrived.

  “Not entertaining, actually. Let me introduce you.” He faced his guests. “Mr. Adrian Smallshaw, may I present the Marquis of Lyndham and the Earl of Northfield.”

  Jason stepped forward first, a hand extended. To Connor’s surprise, Adrian hesitated before he took it.

  “Mr. Smallshaw is my partner,” Connor explained. “And the marquess and the earl are interested in investing in the business, Smallshaw.”

  He shot his friend a meaningful look, but Adrian remained scowling even as he finally shook Jason’s hand.

  “I see,” he said, voice icy cold. “I didn’t realize we were in the market for investors.”

  Connor’s eyes went wide at the hard tone of his friend’s voice and glanced at Jason and Seth apologetically. “These gentlemen approached us, Adrian.”

  Jason watched Adrian closely as Seth stepped forward. “I’ve read several titles you’ve produced, Mr. Smallshaw, and have been highly impressed.”

  “Have you?” Adrian asked coolly as he leaned on the edge of the desk.

  Connor motioned toward a chair. “Sit down, won’t you? I’ve just shown the gentlemen some figures.”

  Adrian jerked his face toward the information in front of the men and then glared at Connor. “May I see you in the hallway?”

  Connor nodded. “Of course. Excuse us, my lords.”

  He felt Seth and Jason staring at them as they walked from the room. Connor shut the door behind them and stared at Adrian.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, trying to keep his voice low so they wouldn’t be heard.

  Adrian folded his arms. “I could ask the same of you. You introduced me as your partner, but I had no idea you were meeting with investors.”

  He emphasized the last word with sarcasm and Connor shook his head.

  “The marquess and the earl were at a gathering last night and mentioned wanting to take a meeting today. I thought you would come in earlier this morning so we would discuss it and when you didn’t, I sent word to your home. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you.”

  Adrian rolled his eyes. “So these are your new party chums, are they?”

  “Why are you in such a foul mood?” Connor asked, once again forcing himself to temper his tone.

  Adrian put his hands on his hips. “Do you really want to ask me that now?”

  “I have asked it, so stop being an ass and just say what’s on your mind,” Connor ground out.

  “Firstly, you have shown our private information to men I don’t even know.”

  “I know them—”

  Adrian lifted a hand to silence him. “Have you even looked at that manuscript I left on your desk?”

  “The one by Corbett?” Adrian nodded and Connor shifted as guilt mobbed him. “I have not. But I know of the man, Adrian. His ideas are radical, even dangerous. He encourages class uprising, violence.”

  Adrian’s lips thinned. “Yes, he does. He encourages a toppling of Society—and I thought that was what we wanted.”

  Connor’s mouth dropped open at that dangerous statement. It brought back memories of long-ago radical conversations brought on by youth and inexperience. He had outgrown those dangerous thoughts, but more and more he was realizing that Adrian had not.

  With a shake of his head, he said, “It is one thing to drink for a few hours and discuss knocking the lords down a peg or two. It is quite another to publish a book by a man who is wanted by the Crown for inciting riots.”

  “Oh yes, it is quite another thing.” Adrian folded his arms. “Especially if your little friends get involved in our business. You think they would allow you to publish anything that questioned them and their status?”

  Connor shook his head. “That isn’t the kind of investment I’m seeking. Despite my disagreements with you about the direction of this company, I would never cede any kind of creative control to anyone outside of the two of us, Adrian. I would hope you’d know that.”

  Adrian shook his head. “I used to know that. I used to know you. But now…”

  Connor stepped back in shock. Certainly he’d seen Adrian filled with righteous indignation and anger before, but he’d never directed that toward Connor. His friend looked truly disgusted with him.

  He sighed. “Please, just come in and let’s talk to the men. You’ll find they are not the fops you despise. I, at least, want to hear their proposal. Later we will discuss it together and if we don’t want their money, we’ll refuse it.”

  Adrian gave him another look, then shrugged and motioned for the office door. Connor returned to the room with a false smile on his face.

  “I do apologize, gentlemen,” he said as he retook his place at his desk.

  Seth and Jason exchanged a brief look, but then Seth smiled. “Not at all, Sheridan. It’s given us a chance to look closely at these financial statements.”

  Adrian tensed as he took a seat. “Did it?”

  Jason wrinkled a brow at the continued aggression in Adrian’s tone, but made no comment on it as he said, “Indeed. And there are impressive profits on a few of the titles, though obviously your greatest success has been The Ladies Book of Pleasures.”

  Adrian snorted and Connor rushed to defend the title before Adrian could disparage it.

  “Indeed, the book has been more successful than we ever could have dreamed.”

  Seth nodded. “I think you have an eye for volumes that shake Society a bit, scare those who read them but also make them want to read more. And I would love to invest in that, as would Northfield.”

  Jason nodded his agreement.

  “However,” Jason added, “we have spoken to a few more in our circle and I fear others may not share that view.”

  Adrian shot Connor a look. “So we’re
asking the entire ton its opinion now.”

  Connor glared at him. “What is their view?”

  “I believe you could have as many investors as you could manage if…” Jason hesitated. “If you could manage to convince the Lady to write another book.”

  Connor leaned back in his chair with a deep sigh. He had been trying to convince the Lady to do just that for months. His insistence had even ended their relationship, for she had cut ties with him in her last letter, declaring she did not wish to write another book. She had always been kind, even apologetic, but firm on the subject.

  “I see,” he said softly.

  “So you will only support silly endeavors,” Adrian said with a shake of his head. “As I thought.”

  Seth looked sharply at Adrian. “No, that isn’t what we’re saying. It is merely the reality if you wish greater support beyond ours for your publishing endeavor. Your financials say you are moderately successful and most of that is due to one title in your library. The facts are what they are.”

  Adrian turned away with another snort and Connor jumped to his feet, hoping to keep the men—his friends—from being more offended than they likely already were.

  “You’ve definitely given me food for thought,” he said, extended a hand to Seth first as the two men got up. “And I appreciate that more than you will ever know. Obviously Smallshaw and I have much to discuss.”

  “Obviously,” Jason said with a dry smile as he shook Connor’s hand in turn.

  “But may I speak to you about this again?” he asked.

  Seth nodded. “Of course. I’m sure we’ll see you at a gathering soon. Or we can have another meeting whenever it is convenient.”

  Connor motioned to the door. “Let me see you out.”

  Adrian had not risen from his chair and merely lifted an eyebrow as the three passed him. “Gentlemen.”

  Connor sighed as he led Seth and Jason from the room. In the foyer, he turned toward them. “I apologize for Smallshaw. I didn’t realize he would be so aggressive about the topic of investment. I hope you don’t judge me too harshly for that.”

  Seth clapped his shoulder. “I think we’re better friends than that, Connor. You must be on the same page as your partner, of course. And whether or not you choose to allow us to invest in your business, I hope you know it won’t change our regard for you.”

  Jason nodded in agreement. “Certainly not.”

  Connor stared at them. He’d been so turned against men of Jason and Seth’s rank that he’d often shared Adrian’s harsh view of them as a whole. But now these two were calling him a friend. And it was a label he wore with great pride.

  “Thank you both,” he said, shaking their hands a final time. “I’ll be in contact soon.”

  They departed and Connor turned back to his office with a frown. Now to deal with Adrian.

  He walked back in to find his friend drinking despite the early hour.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” he barked as he slammed the door behind him.

  Adrian threw the glass unexpectedly and it shattered against the wall beside the fireplace. Connor stared, shocked by the violent outburst. He had never seen Adrian like this, eyes flashing, rage out of control.

  “What is wrong with you?” Adrian bellowed. “What happened to my friend who hated those fops? Who wanted to make them pay? What happened to rabblerousing and changing the world with what we publish?”

  “We are doing that!” Connor said with a shake of his head. “Many of our books are most subversive, including the damn Ladies Book of Pleasures.”

  Adrian snorted. “A book written by a whore and meant to titillate the ladies who have nothing better to do than lay about all day.”

  “That isn’t a fair assessment and you know it,” Connor growled, trying to rein in his reaction to Adrian’s disparaging remarks about the Lady. His friend…could he call him a friend at present? Whatever he was, he was only trying to rile Connor.

  Adrian glared at him. “You’re in love with the bitch who wrote it and I think you’re likely fucking one of those in Society, so you are biased.”

  Connor fisted his hands. This outburst was beginning to rage out of control. Perhaps it was a long time coming. After all, the two of them had become very different men, especially in the past few years. But he didn’t relish the consequences if they went too far.

  “Shut up, Adrian,” he said through clenched teeth.

  “No. I’ve indulged your little foray into the ton, but this is far enough.” Adrian slammed a hand down on his desk. “Do you want to be one of them or do you want to destroy them?”

  Connor stared. “Are those my only two options?”

  Adrian shrugged. “In my opinion, yes.”

  “I don’t want to destroy anyone, Adrian,” Connor said softly. “Educate, yes. Question, yes. Even shock. But destroy? That is a fairy tale young men who have been burned by Society tell themselves. But the reality of that choice is death and horror. One only has to look less than twenty years back to the French to see that.”

  “The monarchy fell, didn’t it? I would say it was rather a success.” Adrian’s voice was suddenly calm.

  Connor recoiled. “You cannot mean that. It cannot be destruction, but alteration that we seek.”

  Adrian stared at him, his disgust plain on his face. “You used to be better than this.”

  He said nothing else, but merely walked past Connor and out the door. Connor sank into his chair again.

  Adrian was right. Not that long ago, he had been angry and frustrated, he’d dreamed of destroying the system he felt had wronged him. But he had changed, he had grown.

  And he had seen goodness in those he hated. He had seen he could have something in common with them…even care about them. He thought of Grace. As a duchess, she was exactly the kind of person Adrian wanted him to destroy through his work. But Connor didn’t want to destroy her.

  In fact, in this moment of crisis, he wanted to see her more than anything. He wanted what she offered, not as a woman of title or means, but just as a woman.

  He got to his feet and went into the hallway.

  “Higgins,” he called out.

  The butler appeared. “Yes, sir?”

  “Will you have my horse brought around? I have someplace I need to be.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “There is always a way to get what you want. Use your imagination.”—The Ladies Book of Pleasures

  Grace sat at the desk in her chamber’s sitting room, staring at pages of notes before her. It was the outline she had used to write The Ladies Book of Pleasures, as well as notes from Connor, both editorial and personal in nature.

  There was a light knock at her door and she started at the sound. Carefully covering the pages, she turned. “Yes?”

  Maura entered the room. “Mr. Sheridan is here,” her maid said with no preamble.

  Grace looked at the clock. It was hardly afternoon—she certainly had not expected him.

  Her maid shifted and Grace got to her feet. “What is it?”

  Maura bit her lip. “Well, he seems…a bit wild, Your Grace.”

  “Wild?” Grace said with a shiver. She wasn’t certain if a wild Connor was a good thing or bad. But she quite desperately wanted to see it. “Will you show him to my bedroom?”

  Maura lifted a brow and Grace waved her off. “Come, let’s not pretend this is a shock. Bring him to my bedroom, and no one is to disturb our privacy for any reason short of this house burning to the ground.”

  Maura smiled. “Yes, my lady.”

  As her maid left the room, Grace turned to tidy up her desk. She and Connor would never come in here, but she didn’t want to take the chance of her work being found by him. That would certainly ruin everything. Once the incriminating evidence was put away, she turned to the mirror above her mantel and fixed her hair.

  “Calm,” she reminded herself in a firm tone. “You shall remain calm.”

  Knowing that was likely a lie, she tu
rned and walked to the door that led to the adjoining bedchamber. Drawing a deep breath she entered the room.

  Connor was there, standing next to her bed, his back to her as he stared into her fire. She drank him in for a moment, his broad shoulders, his muscular frame. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted another man. And she loved him more than she had loved another man.

  Her voice shook as she said, “Connor.”

  He turned and his gaze raked over her from head to toe before he spoke. She saw the wildness Maura had described. There was a slightly disheveled quality to his hair and his eyes were wide and almost emerald dark.

  “Grace,” he said, his voice soft and rough.

  She closed the door to her sitting room and stepped toward him. “I didn’t expect you today. Or, at least, not so early in the day.”

  He arched a brow. “I didn’t have time to send word ahead. I-I wanted to see you.”

  The admission came unexpectedly and she stopped walking. His expression was so unreadable, his emotions hidden. She hoped hers were the same.

  “I’m glad,” she replied. When silence hung between them for a moment, she added, “I hope your meeting with Seth and Jason went well.”

  He tensed and his gaze narrowed. “You knew about that, did you?”

  “I saw Isabel and Jacinda earlier in the day. They made mention of it.” His lips thinned, and she tilted her head. “Did it not go well?”

  She could hardly imagine that was true, for she knew Seth and Jason to be decent men who wouldn’t express an interest in Connor’s business without true intentions. And if Connor had taken the meeting, he had to be interested in return.

  And yet he seemed troubled.

  “I don’t want to talk about that,” he said, turning his face to look at her fire a second time.

  She bit the inside of her lip gently. Part of her, the part that wanted to know him better, the part that loved him, told her to press him. To see if he would confide in her, to test where they stood outside the passions that boiled whenever they were in the same room.

  But there was another part of her, a fearful part, that didn’t want to be rejected as she had been at the ball the night before. That didn’t want to get too close to this man in case he required her to share more in return than she was willing.