Other Women

by Fiona McDonald

  For Carl

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Introduction

  Timeline

  Part 1 The Place of a Mistress

  Defining the term mistress

  Marriage, divorce and separation

  Inheritance and property rights

  Part 2 Mistresses of Royalty

  Edith the Fair

  The mistresses of King Charles II

  Charles, the man

  The mistresses

  Lucy Walter

  Barbara Palmer (née Villiers), Countess of Castlemaine, Duchess of Cleveland

  Moll Davis

  Nell Gwyn

  Louise de Kérouaille, Duchess of Portsmouth

  The mistresses of George Augustus, Prince of Wales

  Mary ‘Perdita’ Robinson (néeDarby)

  Maria Fitzherbert (née Smythe)

  The woman who kept a prince

  Edward David (Edward VIII, Prince of Wales)

  – Before Wallis

  Freda Dudley Ward (née Birkin)

  Lady Thelma Morgan Furness

  Part 3 Mistresses of the Aristocracy

  The mistresses of the Duke of Devonshire

  Part 4 The Notion of Free Love

  Two friends, two mistresses

  The Romantic poets and a tale of two sisters

  Part 5 Mistress as Muse

  Ellen ‘Nelly’ Lawless Ternan, the invisible mistress of Charles Dickens

  The two women in the life of Wilkie Collins

  Caroline Graves

  Martha Rudd

  The Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood

  Burne-Jones in search of love

  Part 6 Mistresses in the Twentieth Century

  Florence Dugdale and Thomas Hardy

  Rebecca West and H.G. Wells

  The women of Radclyffe Hall

  Part 7 Mistresses of Men of the Common Class

  Mistress for a fortnight

  The two-family man

  Bibliography

  Copyright

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you to my darling daughter Beatriz Alvarez who helped research and edit this book. Also, many thanks to lovely Isabel Atherton of Creative Authors, who gets me the best books. Thanks to Lindsey Smith and the team at The History Press for putting together such a wonderful publication.

  Introduction

  There once was a man from Lyme

  Who kept three wives at a time

  When asked, ‘Why a third?’

  He replied, ‘One’s absurd

  And bigamy, sir, is a crime’.

  Well, how does the lusty male avoid the sin of bigamy? He takes a mistress, or two, of course. The keeping of a mistress is a serious business and quite often one of considerable expense. Having a mistress is not like having a casual love affair, nor is it like visiting a prostitute who is paid only for her immediate sexual (and certainly not exclusive) services.

  On the contrary, the woman who is taken to be a mistress must be housed, fed and clothed in a suitably comfortable, if not luxurious, manner. Offspring resulting from such a union must be acknowledged in some manner in order to compensate for their illegitimacy and they too must be provided for and educated. It is necessary for the man who wishes to keep a mistress to have the income to do so.

  The relationship between a man and his mistress is an interesting one. It can simulate the married state almost exactly, lacking only the marriage vows and legitimacy for any offspring from the union. It can provide companionship with a partner of one’s own choosing who may well share interests and intellect that are lacking in a spouse who was chosen for her wealth or social standing.

  Becoming the mistress of a wealthy man could mean a safe and secure life for a woman and the children she has with him. For some women, sometimes already married with wealth and status, becoming the mistress of a king meant access to power and influence at court.

  Women have been kept as mistresses by men for as long as there has been the institution of marriage. Sometimes the women are kept in a comfortable state for their lifetime, even after they no longer have a romantic or sexual relationship with the man who provides their living. On the other hand, mistresses can be cast aside when a new, younger or more beautiful woman takes a man’s fancy – and then the rejected lover must either fend for herself as best she can, take up a profession (in some cases the man supplies the money for her to set herself up in business) or she is tossed away like a piece of refuse unless she finds another man to take her as his mistress.

  This book does not attempt to delve into the morals of keeping women as mistresses nor does it judge whether it is a form of exploitation by either party. It will simply look at the stories of women who have been mistresses, and will occasionally sympathise with some of the sadder cases.

  There are the tales of women who have been the lovers of kings, dukes and princes. There are women who supplied inspiration to artists and writers. And there are ordinary women who never expected more than a steady husband.

  These are stories about individual women who chose or were chosen to follow a separate path from the socially respectable one of marriage, children and fidelity. Their lives were different from their married, faithful sisters and because of this they offer the reader a glimpse of another reality – with all its passion, intrigue and sadness.

  Timeline

  Providing a timeline will help to put these histories into perspective. Some stories will overlap and a timeline can help to give an overview at a glance.

  1025 Possible birth date of Edith the Fair

  1066 Battle of Hastings and death of Harold Godwin

  1491 Birth of Henry VIII

  1534 Henry declares himself supreme head of the Church of England

  1547 Death of Henry VIII

  1630 Birth of Charles II; birth of Lucy Walter

  1640 Birth of Barbara Villiers

  1648 Birth of Moll Davis

  1649 Birth of Louise de Kérouaille

  1650 Birth of Nell Gwyn

  1658 Death of Lucy Walter

  1661 Charles II crowned King of England

  1685 Death of Charles II

  1687 Death of Nell Gwyn

  1708 Death of Moll Davis

  1709 Death of Barbara Palmer (née Villiers)

  1734 Death of Louise de Kérouaille

  1756 Birth of Maria Smythe

  1757 Birth of Georgiana Spencer, later Duchess of Devonshire

  1758 Birth of Mary Darby

  1759 Birth of Elizabeth Hervey Foster, later Duchess of Devonshire

  1762 Birth of George IV

  1778 Death of Charlotte Spencer, mistress of the Duke of Devonshire

  1800 Death of Mary Robinson (née Darby)

  1806 Death of Georgiana Spencer, later Duchess of Devonshire

  1807 Birth of Harriet Taylor

  1824 Death of Elizabeth Hervey Foster, later Duchess of Devonshire

  1829 Birth of Elizabeth Siddal

  1830 Death of George IV; birth of Caroline Graves

  1837 Death of Maria Fitzherbert (née Smythe)

  1839 Birth of Ellen ‘Nelly’ Lawless Ternan

  1845 Birth of Martha Rudd

  1858 Death of Harriet Taylor

  1862 Death of Elizabeth Siddal

  1879 Death of Claire Clairmont

  1891 Birth of Freda Dudley Ward

  1894 Birth of Edward VIII, later Duke of Windsor

  1895 Death of Caroline Graves

  1905 Birth of Thelma Morgan Furness

  1914 Death of Ellen ‘Nelly’ Lawless Ternan

  1919 Death of Martha Rudd

  1970 Death of Thelma Morgan Furness

  1972 Death of Edward VIII, later Duke
of Windsor

  1983 Death of Freda Dudley Ward

  Part 1

  The Place of a Mistress

  DEFINING THE TERM MISTRESS

  Prostitutes, concubines, whores, courtesans, lovers, mistresses are all terms that have been used interchangeably over the centuries to mean a woman who is having a sexual liaison with a man she is not married to, often with some kind of exchange of money or goods for services rendered. However, this does not mean that the terms used do not have very precise meanings.

  Prostitute and whore: a person who has sexual intercourse for a fee. There is not necessarily any emotional bond between the couple although some prostitutes have regular clients. Some prostitutes work on the street, relying on casual passers-by for custom. Usually there is an unofficial specified area of a city or town where it is known that prostitutes ply their trade. A whore is another name for a prostitute but has a rather malicious connotation. To call someone a whore is usually an insult.

  Courtesan: the word courtesan comes from courtier, a person who resides in the court of a monarch. Courtiers were not servants carrying out menial tasks but people of some social standing who would attend in various ways to the monarch. During the Italian Renaissance the word cortigiana meant the mistress of the king. A court mistress needed to have accomplishments to entertain her lover, usually a musical ability, dancing, intelligence and wit. In Italy there were two different classes of cortigiana. One had the word onesta applied to it (meaning honest), which referred to women of intellect, often from the aristocracy. The other had di lume (of light) after it and this was a lesser class of courtesan, although still considered higher than the street-walking prostitute.

  The cortigiane oneste were not dissimilar to the ancient Greek hetaerae, who, although they did supply sex, were highly intelligent women who actively engaged in symposia (drinking parties) where philosophy and politics were discussed alongside art and poetry.

  While many of their attributes seem similar to those of the mistress there seems to have been stricter guidelines for those working as courtesans. Traditionally, the less elevated courtesan was hired for company such as visiting dignitaries or special guests. She needed to be able to sing, dance and play the harp or harpsichord, or a similar instrument; she needed to be able to discuss a variety of subjects without being too opinionated. Courtesans could transfer or be transferred into the employ of another patron. Sometimes, when the woman’s time of service was seen as coming to an end, possibly to do with age or perhaps because of a change in affection by her sponsor, she would have a husband found for her, suitable to her status: a bit like a retirement package. On the other hand, she could be flung out onto the streets to make her way as best she could, which was in many cases not very well.

  In some cultures, courtesans were distinguished from other women (particularly at court) by the colours and cut of their dresses. And, as with royal mistresses, there was the opportunity for the courtesan to influence political decisions, or to spy on secrets. Also, there were rivalries and jealousies.

  The male equivalent of the courtesan is known as a cicisbeo in Italian, cortejo or estrecho in Spanish, and chevalier servant in French. There is also the gigolo, a man who services women in the way that a high-class prostitute services a man.

  Concubine: depending on the country in which these women lived their duties and status were quite different from one another. In China it was usual for an emperor or other high-ranking male to have a concubine, or several. Her position was lower than that of the wife but her children were all considered legitimate and could inherit their father’s wealth and position (if male); the sons of the wife would, however, be considered socially superior. A concubine offered a good back-up plan for a man if his wife did not produce a male heir.

  Just as with courtesans and mistresses, a concubine could rise up through the ranks until she became a formidable force and, if she was very clever, she could virtually rule the kingdom through her son.

  Concubines, like their European counterparts, were often expected to be able to entertain guests as well as give their master sexual pleasure. Intellect was often highly valued, as was the usual dancing, singing and playing of music.

  In ancient Rome the system was a bit different and was more in line with the idea of a mistress. A Roman male could take a woman to be his sexual partner (exclusively) if there was an impediment to the two marrying, such as the man was already married and/or the woman was of a lower social status.

  A concubinus was slightly different. This was a way for a Roman male to have a male sexual partner without being considered homosexual. The concubinus was from the slave class. It was still considered necessary for the Roman to have a wife in order to beget offspring.

  In America during the times of slavery, a system arose that was similar to that of ancient Rome. It was illegal for a white man or woman to marry a person of a different race (that is, from Africa or a Native American etc). To overcome this, men would sometimes take a slave to be their concubine. All children born to such unions were considered slaves by the law. This did not mean that there weren’t happy relationships between masters and their slave concubines. It was up to the man to either provide comfort or love for his partner and their children or not. He was in a position to give his children an education, help them get on and later to free them.

  In Louisiana yet another form of concubinage emerged that was called placage. Coloured women were given a dowry, property or something that would provide a certain status; their children with the man would get their freedom and the education that the children of a man of that standing would normally receive. It was far more a type of marriage than any of the other forms of concubinage or mistressdom.

  Lover and mistress: a mistress is often thought to be a woman who is in a long-term relationship with a married man but who is faithful to him and often has children with him. She is sometimes called ‘the other woman’ or a ‘kept woman’. The relationship is usually based on mutual attraction and is not always an agreement to have sex for money. A mistress can be a status symbol for a man; she may be highly desirable for her beauty or intelligence. Throughout history there are instances of women who are called mistresses who are not kept financially by the man they have this kind of relationship with. Sometimes the man, even though he might be a prince, for instance, is so short of money that it is the woman who keeps her own house and pays the bills. In such cases, there still can be an element in the relationship that requires the terminology of ‘mistress’, although ‘love’ can be interchangeable with this. For example, some of the stories in this book will defy the classification of the kept woman even though the women in question have been called mistresses in the history books.

  MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND

  SEPARATION

  When Henry VIII wanted to rid himself of his first wife, Catherine of Aragon (to whom he had been married for almost twenty-four years) so that he could wed his mistress Anne Boleyn, the Pope in Rome forbade him. Thus Henry cited his incestuous relationship with Catherine – she had been his brother’s wife and was a widow – and expected the Pope to use this as a mere formality to dissolve the union, as it was one of the two acceptable reasons for anulling a marriage. As it turned out, Henry had the Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer, annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon on reasons of incest, just as he had asked the Pope to do. Henry also had his marriage to Anne Boleyn annulled on claims of incest and adultery, although she lost her head after being accused of treason.

  The other acceptable reason for annullment was an inability to consummate the marriage and it is reported that Henry tried this excuse when he wanted to get rid of Anne of Cleves, claiming she was so ugly that he couldn’t have sex with her. Yet why didn’t Henry just divorce Anne? Because, although he had quarrelled and broken with the Roman Catholic Church and become head of the new Church of England, he had not implemented the institution of divorce. Many other Protestant countries in Europe had a divorce law in place
by the mid-sixteenth century but Henry did not want his people following his lead and ditching their wives (or husbands) whenever they wished.

  The fact remained that there were couples in England who no longer wanted to live together and who also wanted the freedom to remarry if the chance should come along. Other possibilities were to separate: to live in different dwellings and live independent lives. This could be an amicable arrangement but usually it involved lawyers drawing up documents of settlement on the wife by the husband, promising an allowance for her to live on. It also often meant that the father took the children with him. Custody was the right of the father, no matter how young the child. Married women at the time had no legal standing in the eyes of the law, so that when documents of separation were made it was between a husband and someone acting as trustee for his wife. This form of official declaration that a marriage was over, which throughout the eighteenth century became the most common form of marriage termination, still did not grant either party the right to remarry.

  A party could just walk away from the marriage, disappear, flee back to the parental home or go into exile. A wife going to live elsewhere without her husband’s consent could be ordered to return to him by the courts. Another popular way of ditching a wife was to sell her. This was not legal but that did not stop it happening. Sometimes the sale was by mutual consent, with the wife hoping to get a better deal.

  Women had little say in any of the proceedings. One avenue open to her was the church courts. A woman could apply for separation from her husband if she could prove she was in danger from him physically or spiritually; she had to have two witnesses to every act she accused her husband of doing. The husband could also use these courts, although in contrast to women he did not have to prove anything. The church courts were, however, very expensive, the process was always drawn out and usually the outcome for a woman was not positive.