Flame

by Clarissa Wild

  “Thanks,” Leafy says. “I’m glad you’re behind me.”

  Evie pokes her. “You know me. I’m on your tail, whether you want it or not.”

  They both laugh, making me feel at ease with the situation. Everyone’s so supportive, which really puts the emphasis on positive thoughts. We can handle this. There’s nothing we can’t take. Not when we’re together. I can face everything as long as I have her by my side. That’s why I’m glad that she’s still with me. And now we’re even having a baby.

  Sometimes I should really count my blessings.

  ♥♥♥

  Autumn

  A few days later …

  I’m sitting on the couch in my parents’ living room, waiting for my dad to come back with the usual orange juice. I’m nervous as hell, my body shaking as I think about how I’m going to share the news. I’ve deliberately come alone, so Hunter won’t be yelled at by my dad. I know they can’t stand each other, and I don’t want this to worsen their relationship. Even though I know it’ll make my dad livid when he finds out I’m pregnant, I’m glad Hunter’s not around to be scolded. I don’t want to put him through that.

  So I told him to go fight. He has a match scheduled today, a big one where he can earn a lot of cash, which we really need. At first he was adamant about joining me, but after persuading him this was the best thing to do, the only thing to do, he reluctantly agreed to let me go alone.

  And here I am, trying to make the best of it. I swallow away the nerves as my dad comes back with two glasses. I want this to be over with quick, because I want to talk to my mom. She’s always happy for me, as long as I am. Maybe I should just bring him to mom’s room so I can tell them together, not separately. It’s probably easier that way.

  “Hey, Dad, could you come upstairs with me for a minute?” I ask after taking a sip.

  “What’s this about? Have you decided to end your relationship with Hunter yet? If you want to tell your mom about it, I don’t need to hear it.”

  “No, Dad,” I sigh. “I want to talk to you and Mom about something.”

  “Well? I’m listening.”

  “Not here. I want you guys to hear it together.”

  He frowns, keeping his mouth shut.

  “Please?” I add, putting up my best pout.

  “Oh, all right. Fine.” He gets up from his chair, putting his glass down firmly on the table.

  Sweat trickles down my forehead as I walk up the stairs with my dad behind me. It feels like I’m walking toward punishment. I know he’s not going to like it, and that he’ll probably yell at me, but I’m also hoping my mother’s presence will calm him down a bit. Or at least, that she can make me feel better about all this.

  “Who’s there?” she says, her voice even croakier than usual.

  “It’s me, Mom,” I say, smiling as I see her look up to greet me.

  “Oh, hey, girl! So nice of you to come visit us again.” She pats her bed.

  I look at my dad, who comes up behind me, but he just frowns, totally avoiding any sort of contact between him and my mother. Even she is ignoring him now.

  “How are you?” she asks as I sit down beside her.

  “Well … that’s what I came to talk about.”

  She raises the skin of her eyebrow; I can tell from the movement, even though she has no hair on her head. “What do you mean?”

  Squeezing my own hand, I take a deep breath. “I’m … pregnant.”

  My dad’s face turns from blank to blood-drained to pure rage. “What?”

  “Oh, honey, is that true?” My mom places her fragile hand on my arm.

  “Yes. Hunter and I are expecting a baby.”

  “I can’t believe this!” my dad yells.

  “Walter!” my mom says, then she coughs from overusing her voice.

  “Diane, don’t tell me you’re supporting this nonsense!”

  “Dad, I’m not asking you to agree. All I’m asking is for you to accept it. I’m having a baby.”

  “You can still abort it,” he says.

  “No, I won’t.”

  He makes a face, as if he doesn’t understand. “What about your college? Are you just going to ditch that?”

  “No, of course not, but I will have to take a break when it gets too much.”

  He snorts and shakes his head. “Preposterous. That boy … I should’ve known better than to let you walk away with him.”

  “Hey! This isn’t Hunter’s fault. Don’t you dare put this on him.”

  “No, you had to go and be promiscuous!”

  “Dad!” I yell.

  “Walter!” my mom joins in.

  “It’s the truth,” he says. “You were supposed to go to college, be a good girl and graduate, and then find a proper job and a proper man as your husband.”

  “Well, I’m sorry I’m not turning out the way you hoped I would. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment,” I say, swallowing away the tears. “But I am not letting you do this to me anymore. This is my decision, and I’m keeping this baby.”

  He lets out a long, drawn-out sigh and closes his eyes.

  “I love Hunter, Dad, and I know he is the one. This baby won’t be a burden. We’ll love this baby to death, and we’ll work hard to give it a good home.”

  “And throw your future away with it,” he snaps. “I’m done with this.” He turns around to the door, preparing to walk down the stairs again.

  “No, Dad, listen to me! For once in your life listen to me. If you love me you will listen to me. Really listen to what I want.”

  He stops in his tracks. “I’m your father. All I want is what’s best for you. I don’t want to see you waste your life away.”

  “I won’t. This is the best for me, if you could only see that. Hunter’s a great guy, Dad. He’ll never leave me. He’ll always support me. He works hard and loves me like no other. And I love him just as much. I can’t and won’t change that. So please … think about what I want for a second. Think about what I really need. I need you behind me. Not against me.”

  My dad is silently staring at the door, but I know he heard me.

  Then he opens it and walks down the stairs, leaving me alone with my mom.

  I turn to her and let the tears roll. She opens her arms for me and lets me hug her thin bones.

  “Don’t listen to your father. He’s just a grumpy old bastard.”

  I chuckle while she brushes my hair from my face. “I’m glad Hunter wasn’t here. It would’ve been far worse then.”

  “Well, honey, your dad just doesn’t know how to deal with it when things don’t go his way. He’s very stubborn.”

  “Tell me about it …” I wipe away my tears.

  “He has a hard time seeing reality and accepting it.”

  “But you don’t?” I ask.

  “No. I’m happy for you.” She smiles, and her lips crack a little.

  “Really?”

  “Yes!” She hugs me even tighter.

  “But what do you think about my college and my future?”

  “Oh, I know it’ll be all right. You’ll get your degree eventually and find a job sometime. You’ve got Hunter to take care of you in the meantime.”

  “Wow … you’re so easy,” I say, making her laugh.

  “You’re just you. And I accept that. Besides … I can’t wait to see that little baby.” She pokes at my belly.

  “Long way to go,” I say. “I’m only about four weeks in now.”

  “Wonderful!” She starts feeling up my belly, her face shining with happiness. I haven’t seen her this vibrant. Not since the disease. It’s like everything has suddenly disappeared and all there’s left is elation.

  “You’re really into this, aren’t you?” I ask.

  “Yeah, of course I am. I didn’t expect to actually be there when you had a baby. I mean, I thought I’d be long gone by then. But now I really have a chance at seeing my grandchild.”

  I almost burst out into tears from her words. She’s genuinely happ
y for me, and not only that, I realize now that I can give her something that’ll make her happy. That she’ll have this one last thing before she …

  “I love you, Mom,” I say, kissing her temple.

  “I love you too, honey. I can’t believe how much you’ve grown into a woman. So quick.” She winks.

  “All thanks to you, Mom.”

  “Give your dad a little credit, too.”

  I snort. “He only does things when he wants to. Not when I need it. Like now.”

  “He’ll turn around. You’ll see.” She grabs her pillow but doesn’t have enough strength to pull it out, so I help her rearrange them. “He loves kids.”

  “Really?” I frown.

  “Yeah. He was a lot of fun with you when you were young.”

  “I can hardly remember.”

  “You were still a tiny baby, but he was really crazy about you. Reminds me of the good times. I can promise you now that he’ll melt when he sees his grandchild. Wanna bet?”

  I chuckle a little. “I don’t do bets. Not with you.”

  She jabs me with her bony elbow. “That’s because I always win.”

  And then we both laugh. We laugh and hug like we haven’t done in a while. It makes me happy. It really makes me happy to know she’s supportive of me, no matter what I do or what I go through. She’s always there for me.

  I just hope she’ll continue to be.

  Praying for miracles is all I can do.

  CHAPTER 26

  TIME FLIES

  Autumn

  2 months later

  Traveling between school and Hunter’s home is tough, but I’m managing. The only ones who know I’m pregnant are Evie, Jaret, my family, and Hunter and his brother. Nobody at school noticed I was gone, which is a plus, I guess. I don’t want anyone to find out, because I hate being the target of gossip. I know that when my belly starts growing really big, I’ll need to stop school for a year and stay at home. I already talked about it with the dean, so he knows too. He agreed. I’m still nervous about it, but there’s no way back now. This baby is coming.

  As I look in the mirror in Hunter’s room, stroking my belly with my hands, I feel fortunate to be able to have this baby. That I can give this gift to Hunter, and make the world a little better.

  “You don’t want to know how welcome you are,” I say to myself, to my baby.

  Smiling, I can’t help but love this baby already.

  Hunter comes into the room and wraps his arms around me. “Beautiful,” he whispers in my ear, nipping my earlobe. My body heats up from his touch as he leaves soft kisses on my shoulder. His hands slide under my shirt and drift up my belly. “And this is beautiful too.”

  “I can’t wait until you can feel the kicks.”

  Hunter chuckles. “Bet that won’t be long. The baby’s got my genes.”

  I laugh with him. “I’m only hoping the baby won’t start kicking the walls. We just got a paintjob done!”

  “Ah, it’ll be all right.” Hunter cradles me, my head against his chest as he rocks us sideways. “What do we call it? I don’t like using the word ‘it.’”

  “I don’t know …” I never imagined I’d have to think about baby names, let alone this soon.

  “Hmm … what about Trevor?”

  I giggle. “That sounds like a hotshot.”

  “Hey, like father like son.”

  I roll my eyes. “If it’s a girl, I like Susie.”

  “Susie?” The way he asks it makes it sound like he thinks it’s weird.

  “Yeah? Why not?”

  “Susie …” he repeats, this time softer, as if he’s tasting the word. “I like it.”

  ♥♥♥

  1 month later

  In the bleachers I cheer on Hunter fighting his opponent. I’m chanting his name, just like all the other people in here, hoping he’ll hear it. Sometimes he looks at me with those glaring gray eyes of his, winking at me. All the girls go crazy when he does it, but I know it’s only for me. He tells me every time he sees me. He tells me how much he loves me and that he only fights for me.

  He shuffles around like a real pro, only throwing a punch when he needs to. His focus is totally in the fight, like he can’t even see us. It’s amazing. His punches are strong and his body is fit, and I’ve grown used to watching him. I’ve grown into loving him for who he is. My fighter. My man.

  Most of the times he wins within a few minutes of the match starting. His flexibility and quick jabs give him advantage over other opponents. A month ago some official from a real MMA championship discovered him, or rather came to one of Hunter’s fights, and he wanted him to join. It was the biggest stroke of luck Hunter ever had, and of course we celebrated with a nice late-night snack at the local bar. He’s been making a lot of money ever since he joined them, and I can’t believe he’s come this far. Leaving college was the best decision he ever made, and I’m proud of him.

  When the bell rings and the fight is over, he immediately steps out of the ring, and I run down the steps toward him. He looks unscathed, only a few scratches on him. His warm embrace still sends shocks through my body as he nuzzles me, wrapping his muscular arms around me.

  “You were so good!” I say.

  “All for you,” he murmurs, kissing my temple. Even though he doesn’t have much time in between fights, he spends his breaks with me, always. I feel so blessed.

  Hunter puts me down on the floor and goes to his knees, his head close to my belly. He gently presses a kiss near my waistband. “Daddy already loves you a lot. I hope you know that, because he’s fighting his ass off for you as well as your mommy.”

  I giggle. “And for my mom.”

  “And for your mom.” Hunter winks. He presses the side of his head against my belly, his cold ear sending shivers down my spine. “You watching your daddy fight, little boy?” He taps on my belly then makes wa-wa noises against my skin, making me laugh.

  “He approves,” Hunter says.

  I gasp. “You don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”

  “Oh, I know. I can sense it.”

  I laugh, rolling my eyes. “You wish.”

  “Hmm …” He gets up from the floor. “We’ll know soon enough.”

  He’s right. Only one month more to go and we’ll know if it’s a girl or a boy. Doesn’t matter, though; I will love the baby anyway. “As long as it’s healthy, I’m happy.”

  Suddenly I feel a ripple inside me, something that moves, and then a blow to the stomach, but it’s on the inside.

  “Oh!” Hunter’s laugh gets stuck in his throat. “He kicked!”

  “I know!” I squeal. I feel it move inside me, and it makes me happy, so freaking happy. I’m smiling like crazy. My little one kicked. The first sign of life.

  The feeling only makes me realize how much we are both dying to meet this baby.

  ♥♥♥

  1 month later

  Today I dropped out of school. It wasn’t a good day. Saying goodbye to all the books and schedules for a year terrifies me, because it’s all I’ve ever known.

  The dean agreed that it was best if I dropped out now, and luckily I’m allowed to keep all my credits. It does suck that I won’t be graduating with my own class, but I’m already glad I get to continue where I left off when I come back.

  It’s just tough having to stop studying for now. Evie helps me get through it by watching romantic movies the entire weekend. We’ve even been chatting about our fictional boyfriends and girlfriends. She can’t stop feeling my belly, though. It’s really grown big, so big, I can no longer hide it in plain clothes.

  “Stop,” I say, giggling, because my belly is sensitive and everything tickles.

  “Sorry, I can’t help it. It’s so funny to feel him move,” she says.

  “I know. Every time he kicks it feels crazily surreal.”

  “I bet. I can’t imagine what it’s like having a kid.”

  I turn my head and look at her. “Maybe you’ll have one, someday.”
>
  She smiles. “Maybe. I’m not sure. One of us would have to … you know … get a donor. I don’t know. It’s not something I’m thinking about right now. I’ve only just moved in with Amber.”

  I smile. “Everything still going well?”

  “You mean with us?” she asks. “Because we’re fine. I mean, we’re great.”

  “But you’re not?”

  She sighs. “Well, you know … my parents.”

  “Oh …”

  “Yeah, but I’ve moved in with Amber now, and her parents are freaking awesome. They’re really open to all of it, and they accept me for who I am.”

  “That’s great,” I say. “I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks. They’ve been really supportive, almost like some kind of replacement family.” She chuckles.

  “Well, I’m just glad it all worked out.”

  “Me too,” she hums.

  “You hold on to that girl,” I say with a wink. “She’s a keeper. I can tell.”

  “Oh, really?” Evie smirks. “Enlighten me.”

  “She’s just as funny, smart and cute as I am!”

  She gapes at me. “Oh my God, you did not just say that, Autumn Blakewood!” She shoves me, pushing me against the couch, while tickling me senseless.

  “I just had to say it!”

  I squeal and cry from all the laughter and beg for mercy. When she’s done torturing me for my cocky comment, we go back to watching the movie. The moment the silence is back, I feel awkward. I know it’s not because of her or this house, but because of me and these stupid pregnancy hormones. Lately, I’ve been feeling elated then miserable in a matter of minutes. These hormones might kill me.

  Then again, Evie’s here to cheer me up, and talking to her has gotten me through all these mood swings. That, and Hunter’s loaded the fridge with ice cream so I can get through this rough period. He never complains about me getting fat, which makes him even sweeter. I don’t like getting big, although I do like the food. I crave all the sugary stuff like never before. Luckily I have the greatest excuse for stuffing myself with all the ice cream I can get my hands on.