Between Honor and Duty
Page 12
“Aw, Mom, I can swim—”
“Those are good rules, Kevin,” Logan said. “If your mother says it’s okay to go on your own.” In Logan’s view, Kevin could manage the rowboat, and a boy needed a chance to test his abilities.
With obvious reluctance, Janice nodded her approval. “But you be careful, you hear?”
In a flash, Kevin was on his way down the dock.
“I wanna go, too,” Maddie pleaded. “I’ll wear my life jacket, I promise.”
Standing with Maddie still in his arms, Logan said, “Let’s let Kevin try it alone first. I’ll get him going, then you can help me cook breakfast. How’s that?”
Maddie’s scowl was a tiny replica of the one that sometimes crossed Janice’s face when she was deep in thought. Logan almost laughed aloud.
Under Janice’s cautious eye and Maddie’s careful supervision, Logan got Kevin all set and gave the boat a gentle shove away from the dock. The boy lowered his oars into the water and looked up at Logan.
“I wish my dad were here to see me,” he said.
The boy’s solemn pronouncement, the longing in the child’s eyes, slammed into Logan’s gut. “Yeah. He’d be real proud of you.”
As Kevin rowed a zigzag path through the water, Logan reminded himself that what happened, or didn’t happen, between him and Janice affected more than just the two of them. There were kids involved, kids who had loved their father.
How would they react if they learned Logan carried some part of the burden of responsibility for their father’s death?
Chapter Nine
Janice drove through the central part of the college campus and parked in a visitor’s slot next to the building where KUCP, the school’s public radio station, was housed. She’d been stunned to receive Kimberly Lydell’s call a few days after her stay at Logan’s house. Now she was a nervous wreck.
She’d only had one job interview since landing her part-time sandwich-making job in college, and that one hadn’t gone particularly well.
Ray hadn’t wanted her to work. With him gone and the enormous debts he’d left, now she had no choice but to work, and she was ill-equipped for the job market. The irony didn’t escape her.
The yellow brick building had a classical look, solidly built with marble columns marking the main entrance and double-wide mahogany doors flanked by marble panels. Clashing with the nineteenth-century feel of the place, the radio tower gracelessly topped the three-story structure like a birthday candle stuck as an afterthought into a pan of lemon squares.
Two students burst out of the building as Janice reached to open the door. Ponytail flying, her legs long and tan in a pair of tennis shorts, the girl giggled a quick, “Oops, sorry, ma’am.”
The boy, who didn’t look all that much older than Kevin, held the door open for Janice, making her feel ancient. Weakly, she smiled her thanks. At least his mother had taught him manners, and he’d remembered them when faced with what he apparently perceived as a doddering old woman. Ma’am, for heaven’s sake! She was only thirty, though admittedly she’d aged a lot in the past month or so.
She sighed and went upstairs. Another student waved her into Kim’s office—or rather into an oversize closet that contained a desk, two chairs and stacks of magazines and books covering every horizontal surface.
“Janice! I’m so glad to see you.” Standing, Kim eased out from behind her desk. She gave Janice a warm hug, then without entirely releasing her, asked, “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. Thanks to everyone sprucing up the place, I’ve sold the house.”
“Jay told me. That was fast. The market must be something else again.”
“Which creates this whole other problem of where we’re going to live. The new buyers want us out of there in a hurry. We’ll probably have to put our things in storage for a while, then camp out as best we can in an apartment.”
“Oh, dear, that doesn’t sound like much fun.”
Janice shrugged. She’d dressed in the most professional outfit she owned, a pale green sheath dress with a short jacket, and heels. She hadn’t expected to be swept up in a personal conversation, but she should have known. Kim was a truly genuine person, which was what made her late-night talk show so popular. She cared about every topic, every person who called.
She’d been just as popular as a local TV news anchor until she’d been injured, her face scarred during an earthquake. Nowadays, most people didn’t even notice. Certainly Janice rarely did.
Kim gave her another squeeze. “While you’re in between places to live, why don’t you and the children stay with us? Jay and I have plenty of room.”
Janice knew Kim and Jay lived in a beautiful house in the hills above Paseo, a far more elegant home than most firefighters could afford. Given how much they had both suffered with physical injuries—Kim’s facial scarring and an accident that temporarily blinded Jay—Janice didn’t resent their happiness now one iota.
“I wouldn’t want to impose,” she said. “The kids and I already moved in on Logan while the house was tented for termites.”
Kim’s honey-blond brows shot up. “You did?”
“It was only for one night.” Wishing she had bitten her tongue instead of revealing that tidbit of news, Janice said, “He’s been very kind to us since Ray died. Part of the brotherhood of firefighters, I’m sure.”
“Hmm.” Turning, Kim edged her way back behind her desk and gestured for Janice to sit in the straight-backed chair opposite her. “Jay’s been worried about Logan. He’s seemed so, I don’t know, I guess distant would be the right word, since Ray’s accident. Jay thinks Logan may feel guilty about what happened.”
“I hope that’s not the case.” Though Janice had wondered if his kindness—including the deep, lingering kiss she hadn’t been able to put out of her mind—could have been a manifestation of his guilt. She’d hate that and hadn’t been able to get the possibility out of her head.
“Whatever. There’s no accounting for men and their reactions.” Kim waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss the topic entirely. “What I’m hoping is that you haven’t found a job yet.”
“I had an interview at a temporary agency yesterday. The gentleman interviewing me suggested the results of my typing test weren’t exactly encouraging,” she admitted.
“Isn’t that always the way? Some man takes one look at a woman and decides if she can’t type she isn’t worth squat.” Kim shook her head. “What I have in mind, if you’re interested, is hiring you as a research assistant.”
Janice struggled valiantly not to let her jaw drop. “Research assistant?”
“You said you were a history major and loved plowing through old books, that sort of thing. That’s exactly what I need for my show, someone to dig up details and leads for me. Not history, really, but contemporary background material, coming up with ideas for interviews through newspapers, periodicals.” Vaguely, she gestured around her cluttered office. “What do you think?”
Thrilled with the idea, Janice was torn between a stomach that threatened to rebel at the excitement and relief of finding the perfect job, or jumping up to do a Scottish jig. “I think that would be wonderful. I’d love it.”
“The station can’t pay a whole lot.” Naming a salary that wouldn’t force Janice into a particularly high tax bracket, Kim looked apologetic. “You might be able to do better.”
“Not likely.” The salary was higher than she’d hoped for, and far more than she’d earn for flipping burgers, which was the fate she had feared.
“If you’ve got access to a computer, you can even do some of the research online at home, which ought to make it easier since you have your children to worry about.”
Janice grinned. “You don’t have to sell me on the job. When do I start?”
With a laugh, Kim said, “Whenever you’d like, though you might want to wait until your housing situation is settled. Moving can be stressful.”
Delaying wasn’t going to help her finan
cial situation. Just yesterday she’d had another threatening letter from the Las Vegas casino where Ray had run up such a huge debt. Despite her trepidations, she knew she was going to have to face that problem head-on—and soon.
“Could you give me a week?” she asked.
“Perfect,” Kim agreed. “Meanwhile I’ll find you a desk and someplace to hang your hat—metaphorically speaking.”
Janice’s footsteps were a little lighter as she left the sturdy university building. She wasn’t out of the financial woods yet. But knowing she’d be earning a decent salary would help her make a decision on her housing options. There was a small townhouse on the east side of town that would be available soon. It had three minuscule bedrooms and a postage-stamp yard where Janice could indulge her love of gardening on at least a small scale.
She sighed as she got into her sweltering-hot van. Once she had arranged a roof over her family’s head, she’d have to deal with Las Vegas. That was a problem that wasn’t going to go away.
LOGAN WANTED to celebrate.
He’d aced the written exam for engineer, the top scorer in the department.
His first call went to his dad. “Hey, Dad, how’re you doing?”
“You know, some days are better than others. But I’m okay.”
Logan pictured his father as he used to be—big and strong, with wide shoulders and a weight-lifter’s physique, a man who could haul hose up a hundred-foot tower and not get winded. A father who could lift his son onto his shoulders. Now, cancer and chemotherapy had taken their toll, leaving a frail old man in his father’s place.
“You’ll lick this, Dad. Just hang in there.”
“Doing the best I can. What’s up with you?”
“They posted the results of the test.”
“Yeah?” There was excitement in his father’s voice.
“It was a pretty rough test,” Logan hedged, dragging out the moment of triumph.
“So you got the top score, huh? Had to show up your brother, I suppose.”
Logan grinned. “You got that straight.”
“I’m proud of you, son.”
As much as anything in his life, Logan wanted his dad to be the one to present him with an engineer’s shield. He wanted his father to live that long—and longer.
They talked about his brother’s kids and his mom’s vegetable garden. Logan promised to come by the house in Paseo del Real on his next day off to help harvest the tomatoes that were overrunning the backyard. When his dad’s voice began to sound weary, Logan told him good-bye and hung up.
He stood for a moment remembering all the good times and hoping for more, then pulled himself together.
Now he wanted to share the news with Janice. That wasn’t a particularly smart plan, but he couldn’t help himself. When good things happen, they need to be shared with special people
His dad was special. So was Janice.
At some deep level he’d never allowed to surface, he’d known that for years. When she’d showed up at an Open House at the fire station, or come to a department picnic at the park, he’d been aware of her. The way she moved, her quick smile. Her kids.
And how Ray had kept her at arm’s length.
He’d tried not to think about that. He never would have made a move on another man’s wife, especially not a firefighter’s. That was strictly off limits.
Now Ray was gone, and Logan was so torn between wanting Janice for himself and feeling guilty that he was at fault for Ray’s death, he could barely function.
He only knew he wanted Janice to help him celebrate getting one rung closer to following in his father’s footsteps.
Parking in front of her house, he wasn’t even sure he’d find her at home until he spotted her van parked in the driveway. The kids would be at school, Maddie for another hour, Kevin till three when soccer practice started. But Logan wanted to see Janice now. He’d stayed away for four days. That’s all a man could handle.
He took the porch steps in one leap, punched the doorbell and tried to ignore the knot in his stomach.
She opened the door, appearing like a beautiful surreal painting behind the screen, all muted greens and soft browns. “Logan, what are you doing—”
“I took a chance you’d be—”
“I just got back—”
“There was something I wanted to tell you.”
“I have news, too.”
Unlatching the screen, she pushed it open and he stepped inside. It was all he could do not to pick her up, twirl her around. Kiss her.
“You look great,” he said.
She flushed. “I had a job interview this morning.”
“Yeah? I bet you wowed ’em.”
“I don’t know about that. It was with Kim Lydell—Jay’s wife.” Janice’s smile broadened and her eyes sparked with both pride and pleasure. “She hired me to work for KUCP radio. I’m no longer among the ranks of the unemployed.”
“Hey, that’s great! Does that mean I get to listen to your sexy voice on the radio?”
Laughing, Janice felt the heat of a blush race up her neck to flush her cheeks. “Don’t be silly. I don’t have a sexy—”
“Yes, you do. At least, I think so. Kind of soft and sultry. Very sexy.”
Her heart did an excited tap dance against her rib cage. No one had ever told her she had a sexy anything, and now Logan, who was only a “friend,” thought her voice, of all things, was sexy. It left her momentarily speechless.
“So, if you’re not going to be on-air talent, what are you going to do?” he persisted.
“Um, research. For Kim. Line up people to interview. That sort of thing.”
“You’ll be terrific. Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” Regaining her mental equilibrium, if not entirely her objectivity, she hooked her arm through his. “You can help me celebrate. Coffee? Iced tea? Or something stronger?”
“Iced tea sounds perfect.”
Together they walked into the kitchen, Janice vitally aware of the flex of Logan’s strong arm beneath her hand, his far greater height than hers even though she was wearing heels, and the spicy fragrance of his aftershave mingled with a masculine scent that was specifically his own. A combination, she thought, of sunshine, pine forests and pure sex appeal. A dizzying gourmet blend designed to entice a woman to forget herself.
“You said you have some news, too?” she asked, reluctant to disengage from the warmth that emanated from him. She was in no hurry to produce a pitcher of iced tea at the cost of losing her tenuous physical contact with Logan. For the past four days, she’d desperately missed seeing him. Foolishly so.
He grinned. “I nailed the written exam for engineer. Top score in the city.”
“Oh, Logan, that’s wonderful! We both have something to celebrate.” Without thinking, she raised up to give him a quick kiss.
As though he’d been waiting for just that, he took control, capturing her lips with his. She gasped in surprise and pleasure as his heat seared her. Elation coiled in her midsection. And then the kiss was over, leaving her breathless, her senses reeling.
Dear heaven! If that was a kiss of friendship, she’d never survive one he meant as a lover. But given a chance, she’d die a happy woman.
“So,” he said, apparently far more under control than she, “when do you start work?”
“Um, a week. I asked her for a week.” Never had she felt more bewildered by a man or by her own reactions. “I also put a deposit down on a townhouse this morning. The timing isn’t a perfect match but we’ll manage. And I figured I’d need the week to get things moved into storage temporarily and to take a trip to Las Vegas.”
His sandy-brown eyebrows shot up. “Vegas?”
Now, with the reminder of Ray’s debts resting squarely on her shoulders, she was able to turn away from Logan. Move away to the cupboard where she kept the tea.
“I feel like I’ll do better if I see the casino manager in person. Basically, my debts are still bigger than what few as
sets I’ve got.” She reached for the pitcher and fussed, mixing instant tea and water. Probably not as gourmet as Logan was used to, but instant was all she had. “I thought if I could talk to him eye-to-eye, not just some voice on the other end of the phone line, I could convince him that one of two things would happen. I could declare bankruptcy, which would mean he wouldn’t get any of Ray’s gambling debts back. Or he could agree that I’ll pay the money back on some sort of an installment plan that I can afford. That way I’ll be able to handle the full down payment on the townhouse. Otherwise, we’ll be in a rental unit somewhere living month to month.”
“You shouldn’t have to pay Ray’s debts back at all.”
At Logan’s angry tone, she glanced back over her shoulder. “He was my husband. This is a community property state, including the debts. I think I’m stuck.” And she wouldn’t want to burden any other man with that responsibility. Although she wouldn’t mind if Ms. Purple Thongs got stuck with the bill. Evidently she’d had the fun of running up the tab. “Of course, it would be nice if I could convince the casino to forget the whole thing.” Everyone needed a pipe dream, she thought wryly.
“Maybe you should consult an attorney.”
“I hate to spend more money on top of what I already owe. If I can settle things on my own, I’ll be better off. And I intend to be a tough negotiator.”
As though he felt at home in her kitchen, he found the glasses and plopped ice into them, setting them on the counter beside the pitcher of tea she’d made.
“I’ll go with you to Vegas.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I’m going, Janice. Don’t even try to talk me out of it.”
“You can’t just willy-nilly take off. You have your work. And don’t you have an oral exam coming up for the promotion? You can’t miss—”
“That’s not till next week, and I can rearrange my work schedule easily enough. When do you want to leave?”
Janice hadn’t realized what a stubborn man Logan could be. That he’d be so determined to help her warmed a spot deep inside her that was perilously close to her heart.