As I walk into the pub just after six pm Ben looks up at me and shakes his head,
“No Rosie, you need to leave” by the tone of his voice he has already answered my questions,
“Where is he Ben?” my voice is monotone but louder than usual. I am glad that it sounds strong and no nonsense. Ben doesn’t answer and I repeat myself through gritted teeth, “Where is he?”
“Rosie, this isn’t a good idea…” as he speaks I hear the sickeningly familiar laugh from the back of the pub and all of the hairs on my body stand to attention, Ben resigns himself to letting me past and stands aside,
“Well well well, Rosie Alvez, it’s been a while!” Jonah licks his lower lip as he looks me up and down and my skin crawls, “Sit down, let’s catch up”
“Cut the shit Jonah, I just wanted to warn you that you’ll be back inside soon. I’ve informed the police that it was you that attacked my fiancé and my brother in law, and let’s face it, with your history you’ll be someone’s bitch within a week!” despite my better judgement, I sit. Jonah is going to give some answers. There is silence for what seems an eternity as I gather my strength and Jonah stares at me in a way that churns my stomach.
“Well, go on then” Jonah waits for me to question him, sitting back smugly in his chair and never taking his eyes off me. I turn to look at Ben, the pub is busy and he’s serving a line of customers at the bar, ‘You can do this Rosie!’
“What is wrong with you Jonah, why are you happy to be such a waste of space?” I ask but continue before he can answer,
“You need to grow up and learn to live in the real world. You’re not the big I AM that you think you are; you’re just a frightened little boy, still looking for people weaker than him to make himself feel powerful. But you picked on the wrong ones last night didn’t you?” I am finding my flow and lean back to mirror his posture, “Although I have to say, the freshly beaten to a pulp look suits you, you really should wear it more often, really!” I lean forward and stare straight into his eyes. Even through the swelling that’s closing one of them, I can see the dilation of his pupils, “Which can be arranged!”
I stand to leave and he watches me silently, I can see the anger in his face and it frightens me but I don’t allow him to see that weakness, not this time, this time I’m in charge.
“Honey I’m Home” I call out playfully as I enter the Alvez house using the key from the plant pot on the doorstep, “Rosie?” the house is quiet and I realise that nobody is home.
Rosie didn’t text me back when I text to tell her I was on my way back from Dad’s early and when I call her and hear her phone ringing in the kitchen, I know why. I hear the door and head back out to the hallway.
“Jackson, you’re back early” It’s Joaquin, “Where’s my little girl?”
“I was just about to ask you?” I am confused; I thought Rosie was helping her Dad today,
“I don’t know, she’s been with you all day” Joaquin walks into the kitchen and I follow,
“No she didn’t come with me, she was helping you at the bar wasn’t she?” Joaquin looks up at me, his face full of concern as we hear the door again. Rafe, Bernie and Matthew are in high spirits as they enter the house, but as they sense the mood in the kitchen they fall silent. Bernie notices that Rosie is not there,
“Where is Rosetta?”
“I don’t know, her phone is here”
“But she went with you to your Dad’s didn’t she? She said she was” Rafe has become very tense and eager to know where his sister is,
“No, she told me she was helping Joaquin at the bar today. Pip is in Liverpool so she’s not with her” I put my hand up to scratch the back of my head and feel the cut from the night before, the sight of Rosie pacing comes back to me and panic washes across my face,
“What Jackson?” Rafe steps in front of my and is pressing me as though I’ve done something to her,
“She was angry last night, she promised to drop it and not pursue it but I don’t know….”
Rafe rushes for the door before I can stop him and I follow, Matthew joins us before I ask him to stay,
“Please, in case she comes back, in case they need you!” I point back to the house dreading the thought of something so terrible happening to Rosie that her parents would need Matthew for support. He steps back into the house and I run to catch up with Rafe.
When we reach the pub Ben immediately stands on guard,
“No more trouble tonight lads please!” He knows why we’re here,
“Where’s Rosie?” Rafe is eyeballing the whole pub as he asks the question,
“She left about ten minutes ago, I think she said what she came here to say!” Ben stops serving the customer whose pint he has half poured, “Please Rafe, just leave it!”
“She’s not at home Ben” as Rafe looks at Ben the colour drains from his face and he heads out from behind the bar and to the back of the pub,
“Rafe, he was here, I’m sorry he was right here. I didn’t see him leave”
Rafe turns on his heels and heads back toward the door and I follow,
“What is this about Rafe? Who is this bloke?” there is something that I’m not being told and it’s beginning to really piss me off,
“Not now Jackson” he pushes open the pub door and steps out into the street; Ben has abandoned the bar to join us.
As head away from the pub Rafe starts to call out Rosie’s name and I am worried. If Rafe thinks that she out here somewhere, and needs to be rescued then he has reason to. I am furious that he won’t tell me what’s going on but I forget my anger when I hear the scream.
I set off at a run in the direction that the screams for help are coming from; I can hear my blood pumping in my ears and the footsteps of Rafe and Ben hot on my heels but can’t process anything. Rosie needs me and I am ready to murder who or whatever is making her call out in fear and desperation.
As we turn down a side street I freeze momentarily, Rosie is laying on floor with a man lying on top of her. Her arms are pinned to the ground above her head with one of his hands while the other is fighting underneath her skirt as she kicks and flails to get him off her.
On autopilot I run and pull him off, throwing him against the wall of an empty building to my left. I stand over him and realise at that moment how deep my anger can run... he is going to die.
As he looks up at me I notice that I recognise him and all of the sideways glances and wide eyes of the past twenty four hours make sense, Rosie knows this guy somehow. The homophobic drunk that attacked me last night, the reason she was so angry and why she lied to us all today, there’s history here, and I know right now that it isn’t good.
I lose myself as pull him up to standing and start to rain punches on him. I hit him hard on the spot on his ribs where I know I hurt him last night and as he buckles in pain I don’t stop. I won’t stop until he is finished.
“Jackson, JACKSON STOP!” Rafe pulls me back and pushes me against the wall, holding me there until my mind catches up with my body and I look him in the eyes,
“You need to take care of Rosie now!” he speaks straight to me and I realise that I haven’t even checked on her. I push Rafe out of the way and rush to kneel in front of Rosie where she sits hugging her knees to her chest and staring at the man groaning and bleeding on the floor. Ben is on the phone to the police and I suddenly feel sick, I lost it.
“Rosie, I’m so sorry…” I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say as she raises her head to look me in the eyes,
“Take me home please” I stand and hold out my hands to help her get up, “Rafe, let’s go” she speaks to her brother but he doesn’t respond, “RAFAEL, now!”
Rafe has been standing over Rosie’s attacker, kicking him back down each time he tried to get up and he doesn’t look willing to leave, but he knows that his sister needs him more. He looks to Ben who nods to let him know that he’s going nowhere and the three of us head back to the house.
As the light
of the hallway hits Rosie’s face, I see the bruise developing on her jaw and the red marks left by a hand closing around her throat and I think I might collapse. As Rafe says only the name Jonah to Bernie, the colour drains from her cheeks and she starts to cry as she rushes to her daughter’s side.
They head into the living room and I sit down on the stairs. I can hardly breathe as a panic floods me, if I hadn’t left Dad’s early or if we’d gone in a different direction when we left the pub, we might not have found her. He would have raped her for certain and what else? As the idea that he could have taken her away from me sinks in I can’t stop the tears from escaping me. I don’t realise that Matthew has joined me on the stairs until he puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder/ He doesn’t speak, and I can’t.
When the police arrive at the house it’s all very informal. It’s obvious that they know the family and Rosie asks to speak to them in private. Of course they want to speak to all of us, about last night and tonight, but it seems they’re not interested in the damage that I may have done and are open about their desire to see Jonah Maynard back behind bars. When they leave Rosie says good night and heads upstairs, glancing at me as an invitation for me to follow.
“Jackson, I’m sorry!” she has already changed into her pyjamas and given the clothes that she had been wearing to the police.
“Why did you do that Rosie? Why would you put yourself in danger like that?” I am begging her for an answer, one that will explain what’s been going on, but instead she just starts to cry.
Rosie pulls her knees up to her chest and sobs, my heart breaks at the sight of her. She looks so vulnerable and I don’t know how to make her feel better, I just sit next to her and pull her into my chest.
“Please don’t ever do that again Rosetta, I cannot lose you.”
I stroke her hair as I listen to the crying slowing down and the soft rhythm of her breathing lets me know that she is asleep. I carefully stand, laying her head down on the pillows and pull the covers up over her. I kiss her softly on the head and make my way downstairs.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The house is silent as I head into the kitchen and I’m glad that everyone has gone to bed. I need to process the past two days, but how do I do that without the facts?
I step into the living room and stop when I see Joaquin at the dining table with a glass and a bottle of whiskey,
“Oh, sorry I thought everyone was in bed!” I turn to leave him in peace when he calls me back,
“Jackson sit, have a drink with me” I sit opposite Rosie’s Dad and he turns to retrieve another class from the cabinet behind him, as he pours he starts to talk,
“Nearly five months you have been with Rosie now, is that right?” He slides the glass toward me and I nod before taking a sip, I don’t know what’s coming but feel like I’m about to get fired, “When I see you with her, when you look at each other, I see so much love. It makes me very happy Jackson. Both of my babies are happy and in love.” Joaquin glances up from his glass and I see the strain on his face,
“When Rosetta was five years old she asked me for a bicycle, she said ‘Daddy I want a purple bike with silver stripes and I will love it forever’ she was so cute with her big green eyes I couldn’t resist her. When she saw her new bicycle her face lit up like the sun in the sky”
He starts to laugh as he remembers and I try to imagine a tiny red haired girl racing down the street on her new pride and joy, “She fell in love with that bike, she cleaned it every day for a week but do you know she wouldn’t ride it! One day I looked out of the window and Pippa was whizzing around on her bicycle. I watched from that window as Rosie climbed onto hers, she had insisted of course on no stabilisers and as expected, as soon as she tried to ride, she fell. But she got up, brushed the dirt from the bike and tried again. Do you know I watched her fall off that bike six times before she managed to ride it to the end of the street” Joaquin smiles and I am overwhelmed with a feeling of pride in five year old Rosie,
“I cheered you know, inside the house where she couldn’t see or hear me, I cheered for my clever, stubborn girl!”
We each take a sip and a moment to reflect,
“She is an Alvez Jackson, She is pig-headed and she has a wild spirit, you must know this” It’s not a question but an instruction, “Men have tried to tame her before and have hurt her in the process”
“Joaquin I don’t want to tame Rosie, I love everything about her” I lean forward to add conviction to my words,
“Even when she puts herself in danger?” Joaquin looks at me as though he can’t take his daughter being hurt anymore “It’s not the first time Jackson, and not the first time with that scumbag”
He takes the last sip of his whiskey and refills his glass and mine. He stares down into his drink and continues to speak quietly,
“When Rosetta was sixteen she came home late one Friday. There was a bang on the door and when I opened it, my little girl was crumpled on the floor covered in bruises and blood. He had beaten her and strangled her because she wouldn’t give him what he wanted. He took it from her anyway and then dragged her by her hair and dumped her on our doorstep. Tonight, he tried to take it from her again. You saved my little girl, and I know you will always protect her. But you need to know something about Rosie, she will do anything for the people that she loves, and she loves nobody more than you. She is stubborn like her mother and if you tell her not to do something, it will make her want to do it even more.”
I shake my head as the realisation that Rosie, my Rosie was raped, sinks in to every corner of my mind,
“I couldn’t have forgiven myself if anything had happened to her”
Joaquin looks me in the eyes “And that’s why I gave you my blessing. When you came here to ask me if you could marry her I wanted to say no after how much you had hurt her. I wanted to kill you for it, but I saw the love in your eyes when you spoke about her and I couldn’t deny you the happiness that I have enjoyed. She needs to know that you’ll never desert her Jackson. She says she knows but she is still frightened of ending up alone and that fear drives her to be irrational and to take risks like the one she took tonight”
I take the final gulp of my drink and after a few moments of silence, I say goodnight to Joaquin. I understand now why Rosie put herself in the position that she did. She needed to confront Jonah; it wasn’t just about what he did to me, but also what he did to her.
I need to be next to her and as I climb into bed next the woman that I’m going to marry I am overcome, I love her more than I knew was possible. I never want to see her hurt again and I’ll do everything in my power to ensure I never do.
The house feels strange as I head downstairs, I wish that I could just forget that last night happened but I am bruised where Jonah hit me and my head hurts from hitting the floor when he threw me down.
In that moment I was sixteen again, I was weak and terrified and couldn’t bear the thought of him forcing his way inside me again. Jackson wasn’t next to me when I woke up but his side of the bed was warm, so he can’t have been gone long. I make my way downstairs and the room falls silent as I enter, and I speak,
“I’m not made of glass, I won’t break” Mam kisses me on the cheek and tells everyone to eat up.
The wedding is tomorrow and as I try to make conversation with Rafe and Matthew about their big they just look at each other and then at me,
“We think its best if we postpone Ro, after everything that’s happened in the past few days we just think it’s not really appropriate”
I slam my knife and fork back down on the table and look my brother in the eyes,
“Don’t you dare Rafael! I am a big girl with an even bigger make up case, so we will cover these bruises and have an amazing day!” Rafe looks at Jackson who just shrugs his shoulders, “OK?” I force an answer,
“Yes, ok Rosie, ok” he smiles and I mirror his expression,
“Right then, the last two days are done. I don’t want to hear a
peep of ‘are you ok?’ because I am fine, I’m great in fact. So today, we are going to have fun. Matthew what time are Steph and Fran due?” Matthew’s cousins are coming up today for the wedding,
“Erm, they’re at the hotel already actually; they got here about half an hour ago” Matthew smiles at me,
“Great, then who’s up for Go Ape?” Rafe’s eyes widen and a grin stretches across his face, “I’ll take that to mean you all are, I’ll go and call them then”
I leave the room to make the phone call and Jackson follows,
“Rosie hang on” Jackson stands in front of me and wraps his arms around my waist, holding me so close that I have to tip my head back to look at him, “Just be honest with me for a minute, are you absolutely sure that you’re ok? You were in a bad way last night!”
“I know but really, I am. I was ashamed last night, I put myself and you in the positions we were in and it broke my heart. He isn’t clever or fit enough to beat you in a fair fight, but he is tapped enough to carry weapons. I was terrified for your safety, not my own. But really, I am great! My brother is getting married and you know my darkest secret, we can move forward now”
I pick up the phone and dial the number as Jackson heads upstairs for a shower, I call after him,
“Jackson” he stops on the stairs and turns to look at me, “Once he is locked up for good, I never want to think or talk about Jonah again, ok?” he just smiles and nods and continues his way upstairs.
When we return from Go Ape we are all in good spirits. Mam and Dad have been busy with Jane and David, Matthew’s parents, getting a barbecue together and there are balloons and bunting everywhere.
Me & Mr Write (Mr Write Trilogy) Page 12