by Jaleta Clegg
"Jasyn and Clark were married a few months ago," I said.
"And who else is on your ship?"
"Jerimon is Jasyn’s brother," I said. "Ginni is—" I hesitated. How should I explain this one? "She’s new. On a trial basis."
"So you aren’t related? I thought all small ships were run by family."
"Obviously not, Wanna. You do good work, Dace. Look at these stitches." She leaned over me and traced the last line I’d put in. "You could put Deia to shame with those."
They crowded around, admiring my stitches. Sewing was mindless. I’d done trickier things fixing the engine on the ship. But for the first time, I saw the point to handcrafts. Maybe someday I’d be able to try embroidery again. Maybe a few decades from now I could think about it without hearing the orphanage director’s voice in my head prattling on and on about perfect stitches making perfect young women.
When we paused for lunch, they made sure everyone knew how good I was at quilting. I got a look at the other quilts. Most of them were tied with knots of yarn instead of quilting. That was much faster and easier but not as pretty.
The afternoon went much like the morning. By the time the sun went down and Shar collected us to take us back to town, my fingers were sore but the quilt was finished. And I was proud of the sewing I’d done.
When we reached the ship, I was too tired to do more than a quick check of the engines. Habim had everything apart and cleaned. He slept in the middle of one of the attentuator assemblages.
"Another day, at the rate he’s going," Clark said behind me. "He started putting things back today. I ran a few checks on the alignments. He’s incredible. We shouldn’t have to do much if anything to calibrate it when he’s done."
"Good," I said and yawned.
"Have fun today?" Clark asked.
"Surprisingly, yes."
He grinned. "Jasyn wasn’t quite sure how you’d react. So she decided not to give you a chance to say no."
"Can I ask you a very personal question, Clark?"
"You can ask, but I may not answer."
"Why Jasyn and not me?"
He studied me for a very long moment. "This isn’t about me at all. It’s about you and Tayvis and Jerimon." He shrugged. "There was something about Jasyn, right from the beginning. Different from anyone else I’ve ever met."
"Am I being stupid?"
"I think Jerimon is the one acting stupid. I had a long talk with him before he left. He promised to think about things. You want me to break his legs when he comes back?"
"I can break them myself."
"I know. Just offering."
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
Clark grinned.
Chapter 14
The next day Jasyn and Ginni dragged me off to what they called a berry picking party. We spent the day grubbing in bushes along streams looking for tiny white berries. I was assured they made excellent jam. Midafternoon, the women finally declared the picking done. I hoped that meant I could sit for a while. It meant instead that we got to stand over hot stoves smashing berries and adding sugar to make jam. I had a crash course in ancient food preservation methods. They gave us half a dozen bottles of it to take back with us.
The day after that, we visited Shar at her house. She had a dozen women with her. We spent the day baking pies. Jasyn and Ginni turned out ones that looked like pies. I gave up after ruining four sets of crusts. I was hopeless in the kitchen.
The next day, I tried to pretend I was still asleep when Jasyn stuck her head in my cabin. Another day of helpful women doing women’s things was going to kill me. Jasyn wasn’t that easily deterred. She yanked my blanket off.
"Go away," I muttered.
"You’ll like this," Jasyn said.
"That’s what you said yesterday and the day before and the day before that."
"And you enjoyed yourself, didn’t you?"
"Eating pie, yes. The rest, not really."
"You’re hopeless, Dace."
"So let me sleep."
"Jerimon’s coming back this morning."
"Where are we going?" I said, sitting. My hair stuck up every which way.
"I thought that would get you moving." She didn’t have to sound so satisfied. "It’s market day. Comb your hair before you come out."
I stuck my tongue out. She laughed and shut the cabin door behind her.
I got up and contemplated my wardrobe. All of my shipsuits were dirty. There were jam smears on one, pale pink and sticky. Another was covered with pie filling and flour. I stirred them with my toe. I’d just have to wear something else today. I peeled off the red nightgown and opened the storage locker full of clothes. I hadn’t realized I’d accumulated so many. I finally settled on a plain tunic in a pale yellow and dark leggings underneath. I rooted around in the bottom of the locker until I found a belt. I tugged on my boots and dragged a comb through the mess of my hair.
"Nice outfit," Clark said when he saw me. He lounged on the cushioned bench. "Special occasion today?"
"Laundry day."
"They’re waiting outside for you. Have fun."
"Aren’t you tired of the ship, Clark?"
"So what if I am? Someone has to keep an eye on Habim. We’ll meet you later."
"Let’s go, Dace," Ginni said, sticking her head in the open hatch. She looked excited and awfully young.
"I’m coming," I said.
The market was small and really didn’t offer much. It was mostly an excuse to hang around and talk. Everyone who was anyone on Onipas was there. Jasyn, Ginni, and I wandered between the makeshift stalls looking at items offered for sale. Jams, jellies, preserves, pickles, a few quilts, a lot of other assorted handicraft items, and a few pieces of jewelry. Those were big chunky pieces, polished stones wrapped in various colors of wire. I hadn’t forgotten our plan to collect jewelry. I looked the collection over carefully. They weren’t expensive but they were well made. I was about to start dickering for them when Jasyn tugged my sleeve.
"Later," she said. "Clark is bringing our trade items down."
The jewelry owner heard us and grinned. "You want me to put these aside? Most everyone here already owns what they want. I make them to pass time in the winter."
"Maybe we can make a trade," Jasyn said.
"You want me to go back to the ship?" I offered.
"No, I want you to let Clark worry about it." She dragged me off to sample food while she charmed the recipes out of the cooks.
Clark and Habim made it about lunch time. Habim lugged a huge crate as if it weighed nothing. Jasyn waved him over to an empty space in the rows of makeshift stalls. We were immediately the center of attention. Jasyn opened the crate and pulled out some of our spec wares. The next couple of hours passed quickly. I enjoyed myself immensely. I hadn’t done any serious bartering for much too long a time.
The embroidered scarves went quickly as did the smaller entertainment items. Clark had done a good job picking merchandise. Even the windchimes I’d bought what felt like an eternity ago were traded. We ended up with all of the jewelry, most of the quilts and pot warmers, and several dozen bottles of jams, jellies, and pickles. Money was scarce on Onipas. It didn’t really matter. Even if we ate the jam instead of selling it somewhere else, we were still well ahead. The trip here had been a success.
And nothing had gone wrong. Not like it usually did. Maybe my luck was finally changing.
We headed back to the ship midafternoon. It was getting hot and anyone with anything to trade had traded.
"We’ve been invited to a dance tonight," Jasyn said when we were almost at the ship. "All of us."
"I don’t like dancing," I said.
"I’ve never been," Ginni said at the same time.
"What’s dancing?" Habim asked.
"I’ll stay and run calibration checks tonight," I said.
"No, you won’t," Jasyn said. "You’re going to come and have a good time."
The last time I’d gone dancing, the first and only time, I’d
been kidnapped. The thought of dancing twisted my stomach in knots.
"It won’t be anything like that," Clark said.
Ginni shot glances at the three of us. I didn’t feel like explaining. I went into the ship and ducked into my cabin. Jasyn followed me.
"You’ll enjoy it, Dace. Trust me."
"I’m tired, Jasyn."
"You’re hiding again. You can always stay here alone. With Jerimon. He’s supposed to be back this afternoon."
"Fine. I’ll come. But I’m not dancing."
"Suit yourself." She knew she’d won again.
"You owe me for this, Jasyn. Dragging me off sewing and cooking and now dancing."
"I’ll make a person out of you yet." Her warm smile took the sting out of the comment. "Have a nice nap."
She went out and shut the door.
She wasn’t going to let me stay behind. She was going to make me go dancing. I wasn’t tired anymore. I was too nervous. I had no idea how to dance. I didn’t want to face the nightmares that might come. And what was I going to wear? Jasyn was never going to let me get away with wearing a shipsuit. I opened storage lockers and sorted through my clothes.
I had clothing piled everywhere a couple of hours later when Jasyn came in my cabin.
"What do you think of this?" I asked before she could ask the questions I knew she was going to ask. I held up a dark blue blouse with flowers stitched around the neck.
"I like the color on you, which is why I bought it. You need to wear that yellow skirt with it." She flipped through a pile and pulled out the skirt, a long swirling one with more fabric than it really needed. "No boots, they won’t do. But then, you don't own any other shoes, do you?" She stirred through another pile. "Do you still have that red dress? The velvet one with gold trim."
"It’s on the bunk," I said.
"It should be perfect for Ginni."
"You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?"
"Aren’t you?"
I shook my head. "I don’t have any idea what I’m doing, Jasyn."
"Learning to live, Dace. Do you want help with your hair?" She reached into a pocket and pulled out some of her gold hair clips. She set them on the tiny desk. "Let me know if you want help." She gathered the red dress and left.
I stared at the hair clips. Curiosity won out, like usual. I picked them up and went into the bathroom.
I combed my hair until it was silky smooth. It brushed over my shoulders. I’d worn it clipped short ever since I’d gotten away from Tivor. I’d kept trying to chop it off at the orphanage. Any way I could rebel, I did. It wasn’t the things I was rebelling against, like sewing or long hair, it was the idea behind it. Tivor preached women were second class. They had no power, owned no property. I didn’t want that life. And I’d fought it for so long that now I had no idea what it meant to really be a woman.
I fastened the clips in my hair, pulling it back from my face, and studied the results in the bathroom’s tiny mirror. I looked different. I wasn’t sure if I liked what I saw. Too many changes, too fast, I thought. I pulled the clips out and then slid them back in. Jasyn would want to know why I wasn’t wearing them and I really didn’t want to spend hours discussing my childhood hangups with her. I’d wear the clips, and the skirt, and the blouse, and do my best to enjoy myself.
The others were ready, waiting for me. Ginni talked excitedly with Jasyn. Clark watched Jasyn as she fussed with her perfect hair.
"Do you really enjoy this kind of thing?" I asked him, crossing the lounge.
"Usually," he said as we walked out the hatch.
Habim hunched on the ground next to the ship.
"Don’t go," he said plaintively. His hands waved in small circles over his lap.
"You want me to stay here with you?" I asked, kneeling on the grass next to him. I reached for his hands, like Ginni usually did. He let me hold them.
"You aren’t getting out of it that easily," Clark said, watching me.
"I don’t dance," Habim said.
"Neither do I," I said. "Jasyn said they’d have plenty of food, though. Come with us, for the food, Habim."
"What kind of food?" His hands hung limp in mine, huge and strong but surprisingly gentle and delicate.
"Pies, cakes, cookies, punch, and lots of other good things."
"You promise?"
"Cross my heart."
Habim squeezed my hands and pulled his free. He stood, towering over me. "Then I’ll come. For the food." He squinted down at me. "No dancing."
"No dancing," I agreed. I stood.
"You ready?" Jasyn asked. She looked beautiful, as always. "Jerimon said he’d meet us there. You don’t have to dance with him, Dace. But try to keep the screaming to a minimum."
She and Ginni took Habim’s hands and started down the path to the settlement. The lights were bright, lighting up a wide area to one side of the town.
"Word of advice, Dace," Clark said quietly. "Take Jerimon out somewhere dark and break his legs there."
"How about I just ignore him completely?"
"Even better."
It sounded stupid, but it helped.
We walked down to the settlement. The dance was set up at the far side of the town. Temporary lights strung between poles lit the meadow. A band tuned up at one end. Tables loaded with all sorts of food were at the other. People stood in groups, talking and laughing and eating. Jerimon was there, surrounded by young women. He saw me and winked. I gave him a look that promised lots of pain. He grinned smugly and turned his attention back to the gaggle of girls.
Omar came over to welcome us, followed by a string of other people. A group of teenagers swept Ginni off to their own corner of the field. Habim twitched nervously next to me. I took one massive hand and squeezed it.
"She’ll be fine, Habim. They’re friends." I waited until his hand quit twitching. He stared longingly after her. "Let’s go see what food they have. Habim?"
He turned his face back to me. "Sure." He heaved a big sigh. "She’s safe here?"
"Perfectly."
He ducked his head and came with me to the food tables. I helped him gather a big sampling of everything. He sat in the shadows behind the tables and ate. I stayed near, watching the crowd.
The band started playing and couples filled the area. The dance was a lot different than any I’d ever seen, not that I’m any kind of an expert. A man in a long robe, with bright stripes, came to the food tables. He talked with a group of other men and paid us no attention, but Habim twitched and started muttering.
"They aren’t the Sidyama," I said. "We’re out of the Sidyatha. You’re safe now."
"Safe is at the ship."
"Safe is here, too."
"Try this one," he said and handed me a piece of something crumbly. "It’s very good."
It was good. I stayed in the shadows, sharing Habim’s food. I watched Clark and Jasyn dancing. They laughed when Clark missed a step and threw the whole circle off. Nobody seemed to mind. Ginni and her new friends did their own version, off to one side. Jerimon and his gaggle of admirers danced with the younger crowd. Everyone seemed to be having a great time.
And so was I, I realized. Sitting in the shadows with Habim was enough. I really didn’t want to be out there pretending to dance anyway.
Did Tayvis like to dance? I had no idea.
Habim polished off the plate of food and went back for more. He was comfortable enough he didn’t insist I come with him. I stayed where I was, sitting cross legged on the trampled grass. Clark came back with Habim.
"No more hiding, Dace," he told me. "Jasyn said that if you didn’t leave your corner, I’d be sorry. You, too, Habim."
"When I’m through eating," Habim said.
Clark sat, waiting. Habim chewed his way through the food on his plate. I watched the dancers and was nervous. Why did Jasyn have to ruin things? I was happy to sit in the corner. I didn’t want to be out there.
"Time’s up," Clark announced. He stood and pulled me to my feet. I k
new better than to try protesting. He wasn’t going to listen. He pulled Habim up and dragged both of us over to the dance area. Jasyn was waiting.
"This next one is easy," she said. She took Habim’s hand. "You get to dance with me."
Habim giggled and went with her. Hearing a man that big giggle was shocking, but no one laughed.
Clark pulled me into a different circle. The music started, faster and heavier on the beat. It didn’t seem to matter that I had no idea what I was doing. I was whirled around and passed along the circle. And I was having fun. Even if Jerimon was in the circle. He spun me around and sent me off to the next person in line.
They did three more dances like that. I begged off after the last one. I was getting dizzy and I’d had enough for one night. I took Habim back to the ship.
He went to sleep almost as soon as we got there. I spent a nice quiet hour petting Ghost before following his example. The others were still gone when I went to sleep.
Chapter 15
I was the first one up the next morning. Someone had left the hatch open all night. I watched the sun rise as I sat at the table with breakfast. Ghost slipped in from outside, her fur damp with dew. She shook off the worst before trotting into my cabin.
She was curled on my bunk when I went back to gather up my laundry. I stuffed it in the cleaner and headed outside.
The collecters and filters had been running the whole time we were there, strung across the landing area. All of the tanks were full. The engine was back together and calibrated. We were ready to leave. We didn’t have a cargo, but that didn’t matter. I unplugged the collector array and folded it into its storage case.
It took a while. All of the tubes and wires had to be folded just right, not just to fit in the case but to keep them from crimping and developing leaks and shorts. I was just about done when Clark came outside, yawning and stretching.
"Have fun last night?" he asked.
I snapped the latches closed. "Jasyn wins the bet. Yes, I did enjoy myself."
"How’d you know we had a bet going?"