Untouchable: (Unstoppable - Book 1) (The Unstoppable Series)

by Danielle Hill

  I rapped my knuckles lightly against the door twice and stepped back, head bowed.

  It creaked open a few inches before Riley's mom peered around the edge. “Oh, Maddox. Hi.”

  Amy Mason was the least motherly looking woman I'd met. She appeared barely older than her daughter with her tiny frame, wide green eyes, bouncy blonde hair, and breasts that were massively too big for her body. Riley's mom was a source of aggravation for her, but whenever she complained about something she’d done, it was with a glint in her eye, like she had to say it to get it off her chest but deep down it didn't really bother her. They might be polar opposites, and Amy might have some fucked up ideas on acceptable parenting, but they loved each other. And the pain and sadness in Amy's red-rimmed eyes proved that.

  Shoulders hunched, I inclined my head toward the room beyond the door. “She in?” I winced at my words. Where else would she be, fucker? She had a miscarriage yesterday.

  “Uh.” Amy hesitated, catching her lip in her teeth and looking over her shoulder into the dim interior. When her head came back, she looked surer and older—more like a mom—than I'd ever seen her before. The fierce protectiveness in her eyes surprised me. “I'll let you in, Maddox, because I know this affects you, too, and I think you two need to talk. But do or say anything to upset my daughter and I'll haul you out of here myself.”

  My head nodded in agreement and I held her solemn gaze. “I won't.”

  She dipped her head, moving back to let me pass.

  “I'll just be right outside.” It was soft, but it carried a clear warning.

  I turned slowly, my eyes immediately landing on the still figure huddled under a pile of blankets on the folded back sofa. My heart squeezed. Pocketing my hands, I moved farther into the darkened room and sat awkwardly on the edge of the sofa farthest away from Riley.

  She didn’t look up. “What are you doing here, Reno?”

  She sounded bone weary, like she'd just finished walking a thousand miles and I'd come in and asked her to walk back again. She kept her eyes fixated on her fingers as they tugged at loose threads on the strings of her hoody. I felt fucking helpless. I knew why I was here, but everything I thought I wanted to say sounded pointless now. I scrubbed a hand down my face.

  “I wish you'd told me.”

  A bitter laugh escaped her. Still, she didn't look up. “Why?”

  Right. I looked down. What had I done over the past few weeks to give her the impression she could come to me with this? I’d spent months pushing her away, trying to convince myself, and her, it was for the best. I was a fucking idiot. There was nothing better than Riley. I should have fucking grabbed on to her with both hands and never let go. My fists clenched and unclenched on my thighs. I cracked my knuckles. Fuck, I despised myself.

  “I know, but… I would have wanted to know. I wish you’d felt like you could tell me. I'm sorry you didn't.” There was a gruffness to my words that couldn’t be concealed.

  She nodded absently, her fingernails raking the threads.

  “Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?” She said the words quietly, casually even. But her wide, green eyes strayed to mine. And those eyes were awash with pain and unshed tears. They practically begged someone to take away the hurt. I moved instinctively. Closing the distance between us, I tugged her into my chest and cradled her head in my palm.

  Her hands gripped my shirt as her tears dampened the fabric, her pained sobs muffled against my body. I clutched her tighter, my heart cracking as I dropped my lips to her hair and planted a long kiss there. I inhaled raggedly as my own eyes closed, fighting desperately to stay in control of the emotions battering me. She needed me to be strong. I fucking owed her that much.

  “It's all my fault,” she cried into my chest. “I wished it would go away. And it did. It's all my fault.”

  I gripped her cheeks in my hands and focused my narrowed gaze on her tear-soaked face. “No, Riley. You didn't cause it. Nothing you said or did was to blame. It was just one of those things.”

  Her head swung hopelessly from side to side. “No. It was me. I didn't even see a doctor. I didn't take care of it. I didn't protect it. It was my baby, and all I ever did was wish it away.”

  I didn't know what to say to convince her. She’d already sentenced herself, and it fucking broke me. Her eyelids clamped together, her head shaking slower now, but her movements were despondent.

  “I didn't mean it. I didn't realize that until it was too late, but... I didn't mean it.”

  My gaze locked on hers, and a strange feeling erupted in my chest. “Were you...” I cleared my throat. “What were you going to do?”

  She looked away. “I hadn't decided. I knew it was stupid and crazy. But every time I thought about not having it, it just... it broke my heart. I couldn’t do it.”

  I pressed my lips to her wet ones without stopping to think about the consequences. I just held them there, against her warm skin, salty with her tears, while I cupped her face in my hands and inhaled roughly through my nose.

  She'd have kept it.

  She would have had the baby.

  It would have been fucking idiotic, dumbest shit we'd ever done... but I would have wanted her to.

  Something in my chest splintered. Pain radiated from the spot, like a giant fist had reached inside and smashed everything up. Every-fucking-thing hurt.

  “Sorry, Riley. I'm so damn sorry,” I said against her lips. “If I'd known…”

  I felt her stiffen, her body locking up. She shut down, pulling away from me and settling back into her previous position: fingers on the strings and gaze trained ahead. I watched her retreat right before my eyes, and I couldn’t fucking blame her. Not after what I’d done. What she’d been through.

  “It doesn't matter now,” she repeated, in that same tone.

  I had no idea why the fuck I pushed it when I should have kept my mouth shut, but I needed her to hear it.

  “I would have wanted you to keep it, Riley.”

  A wave of grief rolled over her. Her pale face crumpled, and her body folded over, small shoulders shaking.

  “Ri—”

  “Please go.'

  “Riley, I’ll never forgive myself for what I did.” My voice broke.

  “Just fucking go!” she screamed, head snapping up. Wet lashes framed flashing eyes.

  I stood stiffly, my arms tight by my sides, my fingers stretching and contracting like they didn’t have a fucking clue what to do. They echoed my thoughts. I didn’t know how to make any of this right. My throat had to work to get words out.

  “I'm sorry.”

  It was all I had. All I could offer her. It was fucking nothing.

  Without looking at me, she murmured, “So am I.”

  They were so damn soft, her words, but they cut like a blade.

  Forty-One

  Riley

  April came and went. A couple of weeks after I lost the baby, I’d made the decision to go away to college. I needed a fresh start. Somewhere my heart wouldn't break every time I turned around. Somewhere pain didn't cling to me like a shadow. I didn't know if that place existed, if I could ever even escape the demons that plagued me, but I knew I'd stand a better chance if I didn't have to worry about seeing Reno every day. If every little thing didn’t remind me of how much I’d lost.

  He'd tried approaching me twice at school after I'd gone back. I'd bolted both times. My mom was under strict instructions not to let him in and she'd listened, for a change, turning him away when he’d dropped by. It was crazy, but it seemed like she'd done some growing up. She'd reduced her nights at the club to four a week. On the nights she was home, we'd pull out the bed, smother ourselves in the comforter and watch movies until we fell asleep. She'd been there. When I'd really needed her, she'd stepped up. She'd been my mom. I felt the tears well, and I gave myself a little shake, sniffling as I held the dark sweater to my nose.

  My chest tightened. It still had a faint smell of him.

  I shouldn't bring
it.

  He'd called a few times and texted. I'd ignored the calls, deleted the messages. Then I'd blocked his number. If I saw him out, I ducked and turned the other way. What could we even say to each other? What was left to say?

  Graduation passed in a blur, same with summer, which was now drawing to a close.

  He drove by today, slowing, like usual, as he passed my trailer. I wish I could say my heart didn't skip a beat at the sight of him, that my pulse didn't sky-rocket, and my mind didn't scream at me to go to him. They still did. They always did. I loved him. Maybe I always would. But I got it now. He had been right all along. Love would always leave you weak, leave you open to pain.

  My hand still settled over my stomach sometimes. The regret and sorrow felt like they might drown me some days. I didn't know if kids were in my future, but I knew I'd never, ever forgive myself for not taking care of something so precious, for failing to see it as the blessing it was. Everyone told me it wasn’t my fault. All I knew was I did nothing to prevent it from happening. Nothing.

  He would have wanted it.

  I squashed the stray thought like a buzzing fly, swiftly and efficiently. I couldn't let myself dwell on anything he said after the fact. It was easy for him to say that, knowing it wasn't a real possibility. Easy to offer his support when it was no longer needed. Who knew how he might have reacted if I'd told him earlier? But if I knew anything, it was how pointless it was to dwell on the what ifs. God, if I started, I'd never stop. I was looking forward now. I had to look forward.

  “You're not taking that!” Liss snatched the sweater from my hand.

  I glanced up. My best friend sat on the edge of my bed, legs crossed over one another, as she vetoed pretty much every item I tried to pack in my case.

  “Is there anything I can take?” I teased, brows up as I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

  “Sure.” She shrugged, the motion sending the thin material of her oversized shirt down her arm. “But not that.”

  I smiled, lowering my gaze. “So, Leon dropped by yesterday.”

  Her head shot up, a gentle warning flaring in her gaze. “Don’t.”

  I raised both palms. “I know, I know... but he asked about you.”

  I didn’t miss the way her fingers fumbled anxiously with the frayed threads on her ripped jeans. “Still… don’t.”

  “Okay,” I agreed. She had confided nothing else about Leon. On the night of her party, they'd both disappeared upstairs—information I’d gleaned from Danny—and were no doubt interrupted by the noise from mine and Reno’s showdown. Liss had remained steadfastly tight-lipped every time I’d asked her, insisting nothing had happened, and nothing would happen. Despite my protests, whatever had been going on had ended. I’d asked if it was because of me. She’d said no, but I wasn’t so sure.

  Liss had been a rock. Someone I could always depend on. She would be my friend until the day I died; I was sure of that. But tomorrow, we were going our separate ways. Me to Georgia, and Liss to Florida. It wasn't the biggest of distances, but for the past nine years, she’d never been more than a five-minute drive away, and I knew I would miss her like crazy.

  The next couple of hours passed in a blur of laughter, tears, reminiscing, and eating our weight in junk food. I tugged closed the zipper on the last case and leaned back on my knees, hands dropping flat onto my thighs.

  Liss reached out a hand and snagged my ponytail, giving it a little tug. “Is that you all packed?”

  I nodded, lips pressed into a flat line. “And you’re all set, yeah?” I asked, struggling to keep my voice steady.

  Her blue eyes welled. Shaking her head with a groan, she nodded and swiped at her cheeks. “Yep. You know me, no fuss!”

  I laughed through my tears. And then smothered her to near death. “I love you, Lissy.”

  Her head bobbed. “You too, amigo.” She pulled back, lashes wet. “Man, I’m gonna miss the shit out of you!”

  We both cracked up. “Same.”

  My mom hugged me as we waved and hollered our goodbyes until Liss' tail lights disappeared out of sight.

  As I stood, arms wrapped around my body with my back to the other side of the park, my head and heart were at loggerheads. One trying to force me inside, the other trying to force my gaze behind me. My head won out, and I inhaled through my nose as I moved through the door, closing it with a gentle thud and placing my forehead onto it.

  But thoughts of him kept me awake, pain blooming in the hollow space behind my ribs, and moisture collecting in the corners of my eyes. Even if I couldn’t speak to him when I was here, I knew where to find him. I knew he was close by. After tomorrow, I didn’t know how long it would be before I saw him again. Shifting to my side, I squeezed my knees up, tugging them into my chest. A few seconds later, I reached under my pillow and slid the sweater from beneath it. With his scent pressed to my face, the soft fabric bunched under my cheek, my lids slid closed.

  “This must be the last of it,” my mom huffed, between pants, as she hefted an overloaded case to the trunk of her car. My car now. The same one that I planned to drive three hours in today and hopefully not die. We both struggled to lift the case up, my mom’s inappropriate footwear not helping matters.

  “Here... let me.”

  His deep voice floated over me like a caress, but every muscle in my body tensed, quickly jumping to high alert. My mom’s head craned back, wide eyes staring over my shoulder. I felt his presence like an extension of myself, but I didn’t turn.

  Leaning around me, his fingers wrapped around the handle. My eyes zeroed in on his forearm, to the muscle flexing and popping as he lifted the case with ease, before they dipped to his sneakers and stayed there.

  My mom wiped her palms on her thighs then shuffled backward. “I’ll give you two a minute.”

  The breath that had wedged somewhere in my throat filtered out slowly through pursed lips, and my heart rate escalated to dangerous levels, each heavy thud shaking my entire body.

  “Hey,” he said.

  Turning hesitantly, I kept my head lowered until the last possible second. When I looked up, the impact was reminiscent of a mack truck slamming into my chest. I jerked backward, catching myself before I stumbled. Trying to regain my composure as best as I could, I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and rubbed my hands up and down my arms.

  “Hi,” I whispered.

  His eyes sought mine, forging a connection I immediately knew I was unprepared for. They were too intense, too open... and I felt too exposed. I shifted my gaze to rest just to the side of his head. I saw him frown. Pushing his hands into his pockets, he rolled back on his heels a little, dropping back down with a subtle thud.

  His head tipped toward the car. “You all packed?”

  I couldn’t look directly at him, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away either. Gnawing on my lip, my hands tight around my sides, I nodded.

  He did the same, a few slow bobs with his head dipped. Bringing it up again, he asked, “When do you leave?”

  Glancing away, I inhaled a heavy breath and willed my erratic heart to settle. I turned back to him, my brows low and my eyes squinted against the morning sunshine.

  “About ten minutes.”

  Emotions registered on his face like waves crashing against the shore, ebbing and flowing, shifting and changing. He was quiet. So quiet it felt like the silence might suffocate me. My foot tapped, stomach churning. Standing here with him, like this, with the past swirling around us, was overwhelming. I couldn’t stop my body from trembling.

  “Was there something else you needed, Ren?”

  His head came up. “No. Just came to say goodbye, Ri.”

  My throat swelled, and my heart pinched. Tears pricked the back of my lids.

  “Okay,” I choked.

  With a small smile, he inclined his head and turned to leave. I forcibly held myself still. He’d only walked a few paces when he halted suddenly, swinging back and stalking toward me with powerful strides, his face
determined. Fervent eyes met mine. I could see love in them, shining like a beacon. Old wounds split open.

  “Riley?” he said with an urgency to his voice. “I hope like fucking hell you have the time of your life down there. I hope it’s everything you want it to be... because you deserve it all. Every. Fucking. Thing. And I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t be the one to give it to you.” His breathless words were fierce, blowing me away and breathing life into a heart that needed to remain dormant.

  “Ren...” His name broke from my lips on a hopeless cry. I stepped into him without thinking and his arms opened to receive me. Dropping my forehead onto his chest, my eyes closed tightly. I wrapped myself around him and inhaled, thankful I’d tucked the sweater into my case at the last minute despite the million reasons not to. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  His chin dipped to rest on top of my head, and he released a long sigh.

  “For what it’s worth, Riley, I never would have said it.” His lips pressed into my hair, hands squeezing my arms for a beat before he backed up, detaching our bodies. His brown eyes glistened when he looked down at me, reaching to tuck an errant hair behind my ear. A sad but beautiful smile tugged up one corner of his lips. “I love you... won’t ever be able to say otherwise.”

  Nodding through my tears, I watched him walk away, knowing that the look on his face and the truth in his words would stay with me always.

  Forty-Two

  Riley

  Ten Months Later

  “You’re back!” Liss squealed, rounding my car and throwing the door open before I’d shifted into park.

  Securing the car—instead of leaving it in gear and chasing it as it rolled down the street, which had not happened to me last year—I hopped out and tossed my arms around her, laughing. It had been less than three months since I’d visited her for spring break, but it still felt way too long. And it seemed different now that both of us had returned home for the summer.