I argued with Robert all night on to the next day. He held all the cards, and I had nothing left, but I wasn’t about to throw in my cards. Robert used his cards like a shark and I had a glance at the real Robert.
If Robert didn’t put up a fight when his wife left, it was because he didn’t want her enough. He showed me what he could do and told me what he would do. He was a lawyer, I was a novice compared to Robert, and I had met my match. Little did I know Danny had grown up and he had a few surprises too.
I stayed with Robert for two more months trying to find enthusiasm for a man I did not want. He came from his job perfectly happy, and never mentioned Danny. I was the saddest woman alive and I hadn’t smiled in months.
My friends Heather and Tracy called occasionally to find out if I was still on the planet and to give me the latest gossip on Danny. I assured them that I was among the living even if I was the walking dead. I assured them and my family that I couldn’t stand to hear about Danny and all the women that were clamoring after him.
Depression had taken over my life, with Robert walking around pretending nothing had ever happened. Robert didn’t even mind that I would no longer have sex with him.
I was his prisoner where he let out now and then for good behavior.
Finally deciding that it was time to go to L.A., I planned my escape. I lied to Robert. I said I was going to New York to see some friends. Robert didn’t bother to check, as long as he had Sean, he knew I would return to him.
I had to see Danny and ask him to forgive me. I would reveal everything to him.
I begged Steven to accompany me to L.A. I was so insecure. Steven flew on a different airline and met me at the airport. Steven was always ready for a good time. ‘He was in for a penny in for a pound.’ Steven knew his way around and if he didn’t know something or someone, he had contacts that could get us into any club or home of any celebrity imaginable.
Chapter 6
Hollywood
Steven and I settled into the Beverly Wilshire Hotel and I immediately dressed to see Danny. I knew he was home because Steven phoned a friend to confirm his whereabouts.
If you are a celebrity and live in L.A. it is difficult to hide. Danny had become a star, and the media was on his trail. He couldn’t go anywhere without the paparazzi or a desperate fan trying to track him down. I had become a desperate fan—running after a man, I once commanded with abusive power.
I wore a yellow Versachi dress to elicit the warmth I was seeking from Danny. The dress was just above my knees displaying my firm legs and firm thighs. I bought the dress to create intrigue, and because it was sensuous and revealing. The top cut low to show the breast Danny once held to high esteem. The breasts that he caressed with his face, and soothed with his lips, were on display for his eyes. His gentle eyes that caused my heart to skip a beat and made me understand that I’m alive, and loved!
I rented a small Mercedes convertible to travel to Danny’s home. I didn’t know he had purchased a home until I looked at the entry keys he tossed at me, and fell at my feet when last I saw him. The keys had his picture and his address on Blue Bird lane in the hills.
I rode with the top down looking at the sky and thinking about how happy and free I felt at that moment. I listened to our favorite songs, and the birds creating music of the night. What a feeling. I became engrossed in the lie of the moment. I envisioned returning home to my gorgeous young husband waiting with our child. The vision came to a sudden end as I reached his home.
The house was impressive. It sat alone on a hill by way of a winding road. It looked as if bought for a married couple, not a bachelor. Then I remembered how I left Danny lying in bed and never letting him complete what he wanted to tell me. It was my home and now it was mine no more.
I opened the gate and drove along the circular driveway, which came to a stop at his door. I stepped out and walked to unlock the doors; I stood still, then quietly walking through the home, no one appeared to be there.
It was a beautiful Hollywood home that had been remodeled, and it once belonged to some big star. You could see it cost millions.
I strolled up the stairs near an elevator where I thought the master bedroom was located. I wanted to surprise him, and tell him how much I loved him—then I heard voices.
Maybe it was the maid; maybe I’m hearing things because it started to rain as I drove up the path. I wanted to create any scene in my mind that I could live in.
I strolled with all the confidence I could muster, opened the bedroom door, and then I slowly stepped inside. There coming out of the shower was my love. My heart shouted when I saw his body.
The bed was tossed and sheets and pillows were everywhere. The bed appeared enormous, and then I stood in shock. He was naked, and there was someone in the bed, hidden by sheets and pillows, and it was not me. It was surreal, my skin felt numb and clammy. Danny and I stood and stared at each other in silence.
Danny picked up a towel as if he was naked in front of a stranger. His eyes turned to me and then turned to the bed.Lying in his bed, my bed, was a woman about Danny’s age maybe nineteen, maybe twenty. She had long blond hair, a sexy long body with breast that was created for any occasion, and that occasion was to provide sex when ever and where ever desired. She was sure of herself; she did not act as if she was surprised, but she was not going anywhere, and she was not giving up any ground.
I could see it all in her obstinate conniving eyes.
It was war and Danny was the high ground, and she was at the top of the hill, and that hill was our bed. I was at a disadvantage. How am I going to win this battle? I asked myself. Should I give up and run? What am I to do? Do I come back to fight another day?
Danny face broke into a wide smile, he had once pursued me with all his being and amorous affections. There he stood with this smile of satisfaction. Danny was a man now and I was the one pursuing him, or though he thought. He was correct, but I couldn’t let him know, and I couldn’t let the enemy in the bed know my weakness. I chose to stay a while to gage my enemy’s strength. Although, I felt as if I could run and never stop until I reached the Pacific Ocean and then drown myself to end this comedy of errors.
“I came to bring back your key and your ring,” I said casually, with the authority of a woman of the world.
I saw in his eyes that he did not want to hear those words. He wanted me to cry and beg his forgiveness. His face changed and the smirk transformed to a frown. I knew that frown, a little boy who could not get his way.
I saw in one instance my Danny, the little boy who could not spar with me because he had more living to do. When I left Danny, he had learned how to live without me. Now he was ready to take me on!
“You can put my keys on my table and do whatever you want with that ring, you earned it,” he said coldly. “I’m busy.” He turned his back to me and poured a glass of Cristal for the cute little actress or model in his bed. I felt anger and jealousy, my eyes twitched, and my head hurt.
I felt a cold chill run through my soul and I became weak in the knees. My instinct was to scream and attack Danny and beg him not to do this, but I wouldn’t. However, I felt as if I would faint, but this was a war between the sexes and I had to regroup.
I did not have time for fainting; I was determined not to lose. Sun Tzu’s book, The Art of War says that when you engage the enemy, always give him a way out otherwise you will fight a death fight, and you will lose.
I did not give Danny a way out when I left him in Las Vegas, had his baby, let another man adopt our baby, and then had the nerve to show up in his home and loving him more than ever. I had backed Danny against a wall with no way out.
“It was nice knowing you,” I countered and walked to the antique table and lay the keys down, looking at him the whole time. I threw the 10-caret diamond ring at the young woman and said, “Here get this sized for you.” I peered into the eyes of the young woman to let her know that she did not know whom she was fucking with!
I then
turned in my expensive designer dress that fit like a glove, and started walking out the room taking my warmth and Danny’s desires with me.
“Where are you going?” He said.
“I’m leaving, isn’t that what you want?” I sashayed down the first step, not waiting for an answer. I continued walking down the stairs as Danny angrily walked beside me and shouted uncontrollable.
“I hate you!”
“Yes, I can see just how much,” I said looking down at his erection that was obvious to me, Danny, and the cute naïve bimbo standing on the stairs, trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. She was smart enough not to get involved.
“You left me, I didn’t leave you! You found someone else I didn’t!”
“What the hell do you call that in your bed?” I asked.
“She’s nothing,” he insisted.
“I didn’t want to get in the way of your career,” I explained.
“Well as you can see, you did not get in the way of anything,” he stated carelessly. “What did you want me to do Sydney? I looked for you for over a year, and I find you with a man. And you gave that man my son!” Danny said, looking distraught.
We were now at the foot of the stairs and no compromise in sight. There looking on was the cute little actress, and there I was, reaching and grabbing Danny’s heart not leaving any for anyone to claim but me.
“Now you have nothing but your career and those shallow bitches who want your money and your body,” I said, looking for a weakness.
“You had my body and love, you have my child, and you could have had all of me but that wasn’t enough for you. You ripped my heart out. Well you have destroyed me, so get the hell out!”
Danny weighed his options and decided that I was lost to him. He proceeded to initiate a brutal attack on me to save the loveless relationship standing at the top of the stairs, which was worthless to him.
“I hate you, you gave my son away! I hate you so much that I’ll destroy you! The next time I see you will be in court. I want my son!” He stated with icy ruthlessness.
My mind was racing, what can I say or do? I have to say something, I thought.
I turned and looked into those cool green eyes to find the secret of his heart. I could not see the man I love; all I saw was a cold lifeless man who hid his love for me.
“Well, if this is the last time I will see you…” I moved closer to him, looked in his beautiful green eyes searching for warmth, and gave him a soft hard kiss. I could feel with his body what his eyes would not reveal.
He stood with his arms to his side, and I touched his face as I penetrated his closed lips with my tongue. I felt the fire from his body, a blaze that no one could extinguish. I felt his warm body and cold heart.
I turned and walked away.
I did not look back, or hear footsteps crying for me to come back. I did not see whether I had won the skirmish. I trusted my ammunition and I trusted myself.
I jump into the car and drove down the hill, and when I had driven far enough, I began to scream. I screamed into the night like a banshee for what seemed liked hours. I had fucked my life up and I could not get it straight.
I was a runaway train headed for a derailment.
Chapter 7
Danny, Sydney, and Phillip Cross
Somehow, I reached the hotel, and Steven sat waiting for every minute of juicy gossip. Some people live for gossip, they have to be fed each day, if not they die. I was in no mood to feed Steven’s fantasies.
“Girl what happen? You look like shit! You have been crying. Not you?” Steven said meeting Sydney eye to eye.
“Shut up Steven, shut the fuck up!” I could hardly talk.
“I know what you need, a night out.”
“I just had a night out! I just want to go to bed and never get up,” I said wishing I would just disappear.
“I’m not talking about now,” Steven said, looking at me as if I was the town idiot.
“We are going to a party tomorrow night, and you can get another crack at your lover man,” Steven stated rubbing his hands together and smiling with excitement.
“Everyone who is anyone will be at Phillip Cross’s Malibu home,” Steven said as he appeared to jump for joy.
“I don’t have the strength to play this one out. I can’t do it!”
“What do you mean you can’t do it? Look, if you want Danny back, you have to get down and dirty. That is all a man understands Sydney. Trust me. If you want to turn this around, you have to be positive, smile and act like nothing fazes you. You are the same woman, that woman he lust after. You are beautiful, matured, and have style. If you lie down you are done for. Don’t give up Sydney,” Steven said laying out his plans.
What does style have to do with anything? I thought. At this point, I would have consulted the devil to get Danny to come back to me.
Steven stood and walked around the room gesturing, “You have to look gorgeous, your hair has to look just right, and your makeup has to demonstrate the look of a seductress, think Cleopatra. This is war and you can’t take any prisoners,” Steven stated slyly, enjoying every minute of my pain, while trying to transform me into his Pygmalion.
I can’t believe I’m allowing Steven to tell me what I need to do to get my man back. I have never had a problem before dealing with men, and I knew everything about Danny. That was until now. Now I don’t know him at all. Was this my creation? I asked myself knowing the answer.
There was something different about Danny, something I could not touch or feel; a force within him, something I could no longer conquer. He had matured. He was no longer the boy I had been trifling with.
I was finally meeting my match everywhere I turned, and I was afraid I would lose this battle. For the first time I was not sure of myself. I had thrown away the person I desired the most. A person that loved me and now I’m paying a price, because I didn’t understand myself enough.
I dressed the next night to go to a party where I knew no one but Steven, and he would be too busy lining up dates for himself to keep me company. I picked out a two-piece number that Steven suggested and adored, and said that if he were a transvestite, he would undeniably wear that number. It was black with white flowers on a top, which fell off my shoulder, with my tiny waist revealed. The skirt was long with a split up to my thigh that showed just enough to slay my dragon. I was hot and exuding sex with my stiletto heels.
Steven and I drove down Pacific Highway before turning into a long driveway. Cars were parked everywhere. Young women filed out to park our car and escort us into this outrageously expensive scenic home.
This beautiful beach home stood amidst the Pacific Ocean. This is the back yard of the super rich and famous. The moon was faint, it was the first of the month, and there would be a full moon.
The wolves would be out tonight, but I owned the night!
Steven strutted in his search for men. He soon discovered where they were hiding. I left Steven and proceeded straight with my heart pounding. I walked up the stairs into the room, overlooking the beach. Mouths opened and eyes peered; women who could not compete stepped aside.
They gave way and I knew why. I am a woman of the world and I know how to get and keep a man, I thought, giving myself courage. Every man became a potential victim, and I was a threat to all women, young and old.
The women saw the smile on my face, and they knew that I knew what to do to a man to make him want me, so they held on to their men with a tight grip. They saw a woman that could use and abuse a man if so desired. That night was magical; I had an invisible magnetic shield that attracted all men to me.
It would be the best night of my life.
I sashayed through one room, then another looking for Danny. The night before, Steven had gotten the word that all the so-called stars would be sitting in an upstairs room, posturing with their women, admiring the ocean and each other. Letting everyone know that they had the right to be where they were, because they had money, the prettiest women
on the planet, and they were the hottest stars in Hollywood.
I continued walking until I reached the room that opened up to the Pacific Ocean. The sun was setting and the burst of light caught my face as I turned and looked into Danny’s eyes. He looked at me. His eyes grew large and he placed his drink on a table. I heard some men ask about me.
I walked slowly looking around the beautiful designer room; it was top heavy with expensive paintings and attractive people in the foreground. My heart was pounding from nervousness.
I raised my head and pretended I didn’t see Danny. I walked over to a well know womanizer, star, who appeared to be alone, and I postured, as I allowed him to look me up and down. I knew by the type of man he is, he could not turn down a chance to get lucky with a woman he felt could rock his world.
I gave him a come-hither smile, and when I had encouraged him enough, I waited for him to come to me. I strutted slowly away from him, and he came running.
Backing myself against a wall encouraged him to make another move. He knew and I knew there was no place for me to run. Phillip came closer, and put his hand on the wall to prevent my exit.
“My name is Phillip Cross, and this is my home. Do I know you?” He stated in the most seductive low voice.
“My name is Sydney; do you want to know me?”
“I want to know all women that look like you and talk like you, where are you from? You’re not from California.
“Are you telling me or asking?” I said trying to be difficult.
“Oh I like your kind.”
“What kind is that?” I said softly.
“Difficult and a challenge,” he stated.
“No, trust me, you can’t handle me.”
“I like the way you talk. I haven’t had someone talk to me like that for some time.”
“You’re not into bondage are you?” I said as I gave him a wicked smile.
Obsession: Warm Bodies, Cold Hearts Page 7