A Chieftain's Wife

by Leigh Ann Edwards

  “Christ, Alainn, it was past two years ago; you and I weren’t married, betrothed, or, in truth, the likelihood that we would ever be anythin’ to each other was surely none.”

  “But you admitted you cared for me then?”

  “Aye, of course I cared for you, I’ve told you I’ve cared for you for many years. But, tell me, how did you discover the truth of it?”

  “Well, ’tis not a welcome ability to have powers such as I do, for you recall you questioned me on the reason why I did not choose to have our son’s room readied in the chamber you’d slept when you were younger? Do you now maybe have an actual inkling why I didn’t care to be present within those walls?”

  “By Christ!” he shook his head as he sat down upon the bed.

  “Aye, well, I certainly didn’t notice Christ within the walls of that chamber, but I did see you, Killian O’Brien, and your accursed black-haired trollop, but I could not see her face for in my visions she was positioned atop you, at the time. But I did see your face and I did hear the echoes of your lustful coupling, and it repulsed me so entirely I can’t even think of that chamber without becoming either overtaken by a putrid stomach or filled with enragement. It was not until today did I see your lover’s face. If you had not embraced her this day, had not held her in your arms, I would surely not have come to the realization, that she was the one from the images.”

  “’Tis sorry I am that you had to witness whatever it is you’ve seen, though without your cursed powers you’d be none the wiser, so I am at a bit of a disadvantage in havin’ a wife who’s a damnable seer. But you think I owe you an apology for bein’ with her, and I’m not entirely certain I agree with you!”

  With that, she picked up the pitcher that stood on the stand and she hurled it at him in a fury. He narrowly missed being hit by the weighty object, and he glared back at her.

  “How do you suppose that discussion might have gone, Alainn, if I’d confessed to you there was a woman here I once had bedded? ’Tis not as though I’ve not been made to suffer your jealous temper in the past. You’ll recall how you reacted when you found I’d been with Mellane, the miller’s daughter?”

  “Found you’d been with her, if you recall I actually found you with her... mid-coitus Killian O’Brien, ’tis not the same by any measure. ’Twas good of you to bring up that sore subject this night.” She sarcastically stated.

  “You have never trusted me entirely, never been confident that I would remain true and faithful to you. Never in the time we’ve been wed have I ever given you even the slightest reason to doubt my fidelity. And now you flay me for somethin’ that happened years ago. I want you to know my time with her meant nothing to me; it was entirely for pleasure and physical gratification.”

  “And that is supposed to give me solace and pacify me then, is it?”

  “Aye! It is, for ’tis only you I have ever loved and you know it! She was here, I was lonely and lusting, and so it happened.”

  “And happened and happened and happened, apparently many times!”

  “Christ, you can be damnably difficult!”

  “And you can be a lecherous, unfeeling arse. So you think you don’t owe me an apology because I was nothin’ to you at the time, I was not anyone of importance to you and you did not lust for me when you were beddin’ her?”

  “I didn’t say you meant nothin’ to me, and I doubt it would make you feel any consolation to know I did lust for you when I had her! I think every woman I’ve ever had was because I lusted for you.”

  “Then you and Riley are apparently more alike than you care to know!” She seethed, trying to ably cut him with her words.

  He drew nearer to her and grabbed her arms angrily. “You can be the most insensitive woman, the unkindest wee bitch, I’ve ever known!”

  “Then go to your whore and have her, ’tis not as though you’ve her husband to consider, not that he was actually a consideration when you were with her before!”

  She might well have physically slapped him, so taken aback was he by her uncommon cruelty. The look on Killian’s face was one of disdain at her words, but of disbelief as well. She continued speaking her mind.

  “You think you feel guilt because of William McCree’s death, but it is because you bedded his wife, and on more than one occasion, that has you so completely consumed with guilt. And I know you are a man of strict Catholic upbringing; that she must have been undeniably appealing to take her when, even then, you knew she was wed to another man! And was it worth it, Killian? Was it worth a few minutes pleasure to have your soul in torment even now?”

  His green eyes held a haunted quality. “No! I have regretted it much in these past years.”

  “And is the boy yours?” she pulled no punches in wounding him.

  “Alainn, has your absurd jealously turned to utter madness? With the curse upon the O’Briens until only recently, how would I have possibly fathered a healthy, living child?”

  Alainn’s thoughts grew muddled and she was filled with confusion. She slowly lowered herself to the bed as if to allow herself time to consider the words she had just spoken.

  “I have the strongest sense that he might be your child.” She whispered more to herself than to him.

  “How could that possibly be?” Killian queried with much uncertainty.

  “Does she possess magical abilities?”

  “None that I am aware of.”

  “And was it only here in the castle the two of you... were together?” She hissed.

  “What does that have to do with anything?” Killian was clearly not eager to discuss this further.

  “Did it ever occur in a fairy glade or perhaps a magical cave, someplace filled with enchantment that the curse might not have been able to reach? But sure she would have had to deliver the child somewhere else as well.” She continued to muse.

  “It happened once in the woods near the castle.”

  “Enchanted woods?”

  “How would I determine if they were enchanted?” He narrowed his eyes. “I noticed nothing unusual about them.” He spoke lowly not actually wanting to relate any of the details of his time with Ciara.

  “Aye, I suppose if you were so consumed with lustfulness you couldn’t stop yourself from fornicating with a married woman, it is doubtful you would notice anything unusual about where you copulated with her.” She caustically replied.

  “Perhaps your damnable deep, unwarranted jealousy has simply caused you to imagine entirely ludicrous and unreaslitic possibilities, Alainn!”

  “Aye, sure that must be the truth of it, my jealousy has created a madness within me that has me believing your married lover carried your son. Clearly my powers fall short when it comes to matters regarding you, milord!”

  It had been many months since she’d referred to him by his title. He did not attempt to reason with her, but threw his hands in the air, and responded only by walking out the door.

  Chapter Nineteen

  When, by the middle of the night, Killian still had not returned, Alainn felt her anger and jealousy giving way to sadness and regret at her vexation, her temper, and her many unfeeling words. She closed her eyes and tried to envision where he was at the moment and was relieved to learn he was just outside the door to their bedchamber. She wrapped her shawl about her shoulders and carefully opened the door. He was apparently not asleep for he turned to look up into her face. She attempted a half-smile and with some difficulty lowered herself so that she was seated on the floor beside him.

  “What is it you’re doin’, Alainn?”

  “I’m spendin’ the night with my husband, for ’tis what a wife is meant to do. And since my husband has not come to me, though for that I cannot blame him, I apparently will spend my night here with him.”

  He stood, stretched his back, now stiffened from his uncomfortable position and then held his hand out to her. She took it and he assisted her so that soon she stood with him.

  “Come to bed, Killian! Our bed is so cold and
lonely without you in it! I understand you remain displeased with me for my horridly jealous temper, but we are wed. I don’t want to unnecessarily spend this night or any other without you. And tell me you might begin to forgive me for my despicable outburst!”

  “Aye, well, I suppose if you can forgive me for what led to the outburst, I can forgive your reaction!”

  She smiled, placed a soft apologetic kiss on his lips, took his hand, and led him inside. Although they did not make love, he held her and that was at least a beginning to mending the unpleasant quarrel between them.

  With the many arrangements being made for the banquet Alainn and Killian had spent little time together. She found her thoughts often filled with the absurd possibility that Killian had fathered a child that wasn’t affected by the curse. She could think of little else and as much as it tormented her, she needed to attempt to discover the truth. She tried to envision where in the woods Killian and Ciara may have been intimate. When she began to instinctually sense the location, she quickly procured her cloak and began walking toward the forest north of the castle. She found herself going deeper and deeper into the forested area where little sunlight found its way inside. She shivered and pulled her cloak tighter as the temperature grew cooler. If it was a magical location where the intimacy occurred, Alainn did not sense it to be here. It was certainly not enchantment she was feeling, but dread. She began to lose her ability to remain intent on the task at hand when an eerie sensation encompassed her and she heard several low disturbing growls. She had been so intent on what she was doing, she foolishly hadn’t even considered the spell placed on the animals and that entering the forest would possibility put her in danger, she was reasonably certain these guttural snarls weren’t being made by an animal.

  She began to feel as though she was being watched and momentarily wondered whether the demon might be nearby. She began to imagine he might found behind each and every tree, and that he would soon spring forth from his concealment and pounce upon her. She placed her hands beneath her heavy belly and began to move faster and faster until she was nearly running. She turned to look behind her sensing she was being followed, and nearly tripped on a large tree root. She grew chilled at the thought she had recklessly placed her unborn child in danger to investigate the ridiculous notion she might discover the location where Killian and Ciara had coupled to learn whether they had possibly created a child together. When she finally found her way out of the forest and saw the castle in sight, she heaved a deep sigh and tears of relief filled her eyes. Perhaps Killian was correct afterall; surely her jealous nature had altered her clear thought and caused her to imagine outlandish possiblilites. She decided from that moment forward she would put the outrageous notion out of her mind and simply ensure her own babe was kept safe and well.

  Still weary and shaken by her experience, she had retired that night before Killian had come to bed. And the following morning when she arose to find him already gone from their bed, she believed he remained displeased with her and was undesirous of dealing with her and her jealousy. They would be made to speak further on the subject of Ciara McCree, and her child, but they were both avoiding it. She did not foresee how soon she would be made to deal with the objectionable subject, but it happened that very morning.

  When Fergus and Eireen Flannery asked formally to have audience with her, she was uncertain why they would want to speak with only her. She realized how nervous and jittery they both appeared as she sat across from them at a table in the drawing room. Fergus cleared his throat and began in a slow, uncertain voice.

  “You’ll know of course, my daughter, Ciara is a widow now and with a wee son to care for. Her cottage is deep within the woods and I believe it is not safe or reasonable for them to live there alone. They have been staying with my first wife’s mother, Glynnis. Her cottage is small and her habits unusual. She is often up half the night mixing strange concoctions and I feel it is unwise to leave the child there with the woman. In truth, she has always seemed somewhat frightening even to me, a grown man. The cottage is drafty and the peat logs barely seem to heat the earthen floor. Eireen and I have large ample servant’s quarters with an extra room. Ciara must work for her keep now and Glynnis tells us she is becoming most astute at healing. We were, well, I was wonderin’ if Ciara and wee Kale might come live with us here in the castle?”

  Alainn wanted nothing to do with Ciara McCree or even her innocent, young son at the moment. She wanted to be as far distanced from them as possible, but she didn’t want to appear entirely rude or unfeeling for the woman was without a husband and the child without a father. That thought left her feeling even less charitable regarding the situation for, in truth, the child might, indeed, have a father, and a noble chieftain at that, although, she could scarcely wrap her mind around how that could be possible.

  Alainn finally, with much difficulty, summoned the ability to speak to the man who sat before her expecting an answer. The thought of the wee boy spending his days and nights with Glynnis or anywhere in the vicinity of the nearby chamber where she had witnessed the pitiful tortured animals, left Alainn feeling heartsick. She attempted to simply harden her heart to and distance herself from the entire situation.

  “Sure, ’tis my husband you must speak to, regarding this, Fergus. He is chieftain; I have no say in such matters. It is clearly his decision to make!”

  “Aye, milady, I realize that is the usual way of it, but milord has already informed us he will leave the decision up to you entirely. He will not speak on it one way or the other!”

  If she hadn’t wanted to strangle Killian before and, in truth, she had many times in the past days, she most certainly did now. If she told Fergus she did not want the woman and her child here in the castle she would seem like a cold, unfeeling, selfish woman. And she didn’t believe she was any of those things, not usually! And this would be a test of her faith in Killian. He was asking her to decide whether she truly trusted him or believed he would remain faithful to her.

  If she told Fergus she would not allow his daughter to live here, it would clearly tell Killian she did not trust him, or believe him capable of being faithful to her. If she allowed Ciara to live here, it would speak volumes as to how she believed in him, in his character and in his wedding vows. And it would mean the woman lived here in the castle under the same roof. Ciara was beautiful and beguiling and possibly possessed magical abilities. Alainn felt certain the woman still had feelings for Killian. She would be a constant temptation!

  She found herself growing ever angry at Killian for putting her in this position, yet if he had made the decision, she would have been furious if he’d simply allowed Ciara to live and work in the castle. And if he hadn’t allowed her to, she would be led to believe he still burned for her and didn’t trust himself to be around the woman.

  Both Fergus and Eireen sat curiously waiting for Alainn to answer and she was no more close to a decision than she had been moments earlier. She glanced at Eireen and she was certain the poor woman was no more eager to have her stepdaughter living with them than Alainn, but she knew the woman adored the small boy.

  Alainn was growing impatient with herself at how ludicrous this was that she couldn’t make a damnable decision. She was supposed to be a wife of a chieftain though her childish tantrum she’d displayed the other night in dealing with Killian could hardly be considered the behavior of a lady. She finally inhaled deeply and looked into the serious eyes of Fergus Flannery.

  “Aye, they may live here with you, Fergus. Your daughter may work here in the castle as is the present arrangement, but I must let it be known with no uncertainty, I do not desire her to be anywhere near me!”

  “Aye, it shall be as you wish, milady!” he quickly agreed, and though the man threw her a curious look, he bowed to her respectfully and graciously thanked her. Eireen bowed to her as well, and then gave her a hint of a smile as they left her to her troubled thoughts.

  After dealing with the unwanted decision, Alainn wen
t to the kitchen as was her usual morning routine. She spotted Cookson and he lowered his eyes when he saw her heading his way. She smiled to reassure him she harbored no hard feelings for his part in aiding Killian the other evening. She went to the nearby pitcher and filled her cup then added several spoonfuls of honey, stirred it quickly and then, glancing at Cookson with a look of displeasure, swallowed it. She sputtered and spat and tried to keep the liquid down. She heard the chuckle behind her and turned to look up into the amused face of her husband.

  “What exactly is that concoction that tastes so entirely displeasing to you and why would you choose to drink it then, Alainn?” Killian asked with mirth in his eyes.

  She was still making a humorous face and her nose was wrinkled as was usual when she was displeased with something. Cookson answered for her.

  “She does it without fail twice a day, and ’tis milk with a good portion of honey to make it less repulsive to her for she’s greatly disliked milk since she was a wee child!”

  “I didn’t know that about you, Alainn. Why do you force it down then, if it is so unpleasant for you?”

  “’Tis for the babe. Cookson’s mother, Margaret, once told me it will help our son to grow strong and healthy and it will ensure I’ve enough milk to see him well nourished.”

  His face glowed with pride and love at the thought, and he took her in his arms. It was the first time he’d shown such an open display of affection since she’d lost her temper with him. He put his lips to hers in a soft and loving kiss, when they were interrupted by a closing door. Alainn turned to see Ciara McCree had entered the kitchen.

  “What is ‘she’ doing here?” Alainn hadn’t meant to sound so harsh or bitter, but her sharpness clearly took everyone off guard. Cookson stared at her with apparent disbelief and Killian would not meet her eyes. Finally Cookson answered for the other young woman had not spoken.