by Pike, Leslie
“First I want to give you something. Then I need to see Carl. He’s my surrogate father today, so he needs to give me his approval.”
Nicki claps her hands. “Oh goodie, I love a present. But let me sit for this. I’ve got to get off my feet when I can.”
She settles into her down stuffed club chair and rests her feet on the ottoman.
In the adjacent closet I find my purse atop the massive dresser in the middle of the room. Inside I uncover the small turquoise box tied with a delicate white satin bow. I bring it back to Nicki.
“I like it so far,” she says smiling with the recognition of a woman who’s been gifted Tiffany presents before.
She unties the bow and lifts the lid. Inside sits what I think is a gorgeous lavender jade ring, set in platinum. The stone is oval, and the setting lifts it in perfect presentation. It’s classic and elegant like Nicki. Her eyes fill with tears.
“I love it Bliss. I’ve never had anything like it. Thank you so much.”
She comes to me and starts to give me a hug, but thinks better of it.
“No! I don’t want to get lipstick on any of this.” She sweeps her hand up and down in front of me.
“Read the inscription,” I say.
Looking inside the band she sees my message. For My Sister.
That did it. Now she’s crying on full throttle.
I hold up my hands in protest. “Stop that! We’re going to be a mess. Go get Carl.” I point the way out.
There’s a knock on the bedroom door. As Nicki goes to answer, I hear Anne’s voice.
“Is the bride ready?”
“Come on in,” I call.
When she walks in her jaw drops. “Oh God. You look incredible.”
“Thanks, Anne. That’s the reaction I’m hoping for.”
“Listen, everything’s ready and most of the guests are here. Want to take a peek?” she says, her eyes widening.
“Yes! Oh yes. Where shall I look?”
Nicki leads the way. “We can look from Jack’s office. Come on.”
“I’m going to get your flowers,” Anne says as she heads for the stairs.
Nicki takes me to the office and we cross to the shutters.
“Look how beautiful everything looks.” I say.
I scan the crowd of people and the gorgeous setting. Jack and Nicki’s cliff-side yard is perfect, even without gilding the lily. But the wedding decorations have transformed it into something magical. The thick pillars are wrapped with streamers of perfect roses. The stone steps that run from the house, down to the wedding copula are lined with white and crème Italian pots. Miniature rose trees in the colors of the day stand guard. All the flowers are pale, barely-there shades of white, crème and baby pink. And there’s twinkling tiny lights everywhere. There must be a thousand shining softly now, but waiting to put on a show as soon as the sky darkens. The roof over where we’ll say our vows is crowned with a blanket of the same flowers. And the deep blue ocean roars its approval.
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” I say in awe.
“It’s perfect. And look at the people. They all look so happy.”
I watch our family and friends. There’s Finn and Esme. How funny it is that my ex-husband and his love have become two of our favorite friends. And there’s BB and Paul. At least they’re standing next to each other, and putting aside their differences for the day. That’s a start. They’re talking with Steven’s friend.
“I don’t see my groom.”
“Well that’s good. He’s supposed to wait to come out till the ceremony starts.”
I hear a quiet rap on the door. “Bliss, are you in there? It’s Carl.”
Nicki gives me a little wave and goes to the door. “I’ll be back.”
Carl walks in, and I’m a little taken aback by how handsome he looks. Carl’s tux was gifted and so was Jack’s. It’s so nice to be friends with a movie star. They’ll be no ties today, as all the men prefer an open collar look, and so do I for this occasion. There’s no sign of gauzy shirts or paisley scarves, but Carl’s thick long gray hair looks great against the black fabric.
I stand in the middle of the room, waiting for his reaction. He looks at me lovingly and brings his hand to his heart. I see he’s close to crying. Damn! I’m going to too.
“You’ve never looked so beautiful, daughter.”
That’s it. Our tears start falling. We don’t try to stop them.
“Carl, your approval means everything to me. I couldn’t have hoped for a finer father.”
More tears.
“Okay, stop it, right now. I won’t be responsible for ruining how perfect you look.”
He brings his handkerchief out and offers it to me. I tap tap tap under my eyes and my chin. I’m going to need a touch up before the photographer gets to work.
“What time is it?” I ask.
He checks his watch. “Four thirty. You’ve only got a half-hour. Sunset is at 5:20.”
I feel my stomach flop. Did I say I was cool and collected? Liar, liar, pants on fire.
I watch the procession of the wedding party, from the dining-room windows. First Ben and Melanie make their way down the stone steps, past the rose trees and then to level ground. The guests sit in front of the copula, on each side of the walkway, on white wooden chairs. I see them smiling at Steven’s father and his wife. They take their seats in the front row.
Next comes our Jack, every bit the movie star, navigating the steps effortlessly. He’s used to the stares of a crowd, and this one is no different. I chuckle as he flashes them his best adorable smile.
All at once I see him. Steven walks out of the house and stands for a few moments at the top of the steps. He’s taking in the scene, appreciating I think this once in a lifetime day. He looks specfuckingtacular in his Boss tuxedo and crisp white dress shirt. I know he wears his grandfather’s onyx cuff links, because the tailor was so special to him. He passed on to his grandson a love for good, well-tailored clothes. I hear the man had style, and when Steven was a little boy he noticed. He takes the stairs with an easy gait. I know him, he’s relaxed. He passes through the crowd and joins his best man under the copula. Their mutual smiles say a thousand words.
Oh, here comes the officiant, Pastor Sullivan. His Unitarian Church in Palos Verdes is famous for the size of its congregation. The man has a gift for speaking and connecting with the people. We’ve attended only a few services there with friends, so we were lucky to get him. He nods to the groom and takes his place to the left of the men.
And now Nicki starts her walk. She’s wearing flat comfy shoes under her pale pink long Grecian inspired gown. A small bouquet of light-colored roses, so perfect in their form, rests in her hands. The baby bump shows now, and the fine silk dress drapes nicely over it. She looks happy and relaxed as she takes her place on the other side of Pastor Sullivan.
“Bliss, it’s time.” says Anne, standing at the door.
I walk out to the living room to find Carl waiting for me in front of the French doors leading outside.
“You ready?” he says offering his arm and his obvious affection.
I hook mine in his, and Anne straightens my train.
“I’m ready. Let’s take it slow.”
I give Anne a nod, and she and her assistant open the doors.
“Here we go,” Carl says.
We walk out into the fading December light. The sun has taken its cue and begins its last journey of the day. The guests stand and turn our way. Steven looks mesmerized by the sight of me taking my first steps toward him. He’s smiling though. The music starts. I remember when we fell in love with this song two years ago. And when we heard this new version we knew it would be our wedding song. Jason Gould begins to sing, “How Deep Is The Ocean?” Barbra Streisand will come in on the second verse.
Even with seventy-five witnesses, we’re alone. With each step I get nearer to my groom and closer to the moment I’ll become his wife. His face wears such a genuinely joyful exp
ression. I hope he sees the same in me because that’s exactly how I feel.
Now he’s walking toward me. Carl kisses my cheek and places my hand in Steven’s.
“Beautiful,” he says lifting my fingers to his lips for a soft kiss.
I lean in to his ear. “I’m so happy.”
He smiles and his eyes glisten. I pass my bouquet to Nicki, and we turn toward the officiant. He welcomes our loved ones, and every word of his introduction is meaningful to me. I’m so happy in this moment.
“And so together let us ask our Creator, however we may imagine Him, to look upon this couple and bless their union with loving grace.”
He looks at us and says softly, “Please takes the others hands.”
Steven takes my hands and holds them gently.
“Will you, Steven, take this woman to be your wedded wife?”
I see the tears in his eyes. “I will.”
“Will you, Bliss, take this man to be your wedded husband?”
“I will.”
“Then please read the vows you have prepared for each other.”
We decided weeks ago that Steven would go first. I see him take a deep breath before he begins. He’s looking at me as if we’re all alone, as if all the attention isn’t on us, and his words are just for me. And in his glorious green eyes I see real love.
“Bliss, it’s hard to believe I ever lived without you. When I think back, everything seems pale before there was you. Now I know what was missing. You’ve made me a believer in soulmates. I even love how you say my name. I sound like a kid when I talk about you, because I’m charmed like an inexperienced boy. But it’s the man who understands your worth. It’s not just because of your beauty, which melted me the first time I saw you. It’s about your goodness and intelligence. It’s about your passion and compassion. So, I didn’t fall in love with you, I rose. You’re made of something special. So much so, that when we look up at the stars at night, I’m never sure if you’re looking at them or they’re watching you. I love what I know of you and trust what I’ve yet to learn. So I promise you everything I am and everything I have is yours from today. And know without a doubt, that I’ll be holding your hand till the end.”
I’m stunned by his moving words, and I’m on the verge of tears. I squeeze his hand in a silent message. But it’s my turn now.
“My Steven. I know this must not be our beginning, because I recognized you the moment you lifted your face to me that first day at the pool. I think the earth stopped spinning. There he is, I thought. It was such an immediate and powerful connection, far deeper and beyond any calculation of time and space. You can’t identify that feeling. You just let it flow in and around you, and you go where it takes you. And look my love where it lead us.
“I promise I’ll always feel this way, even when the gifts of youth have been taken from us. I’ll still see you as you are today, because Steven it’s your soul that’s the most magnificent part of you. To be able to go through life in its sphere will be my privilege. So I enter this marriage knowing my commitment is made of true love. And I thank you for the butterflies and the goose bumps and for the still small voice inside telling me how right I am to adore you.”
We don’t look away from each other’s face. I hear a sniffle from someone in the crowd.
“I love you, my bride.” His voice is low and soft.
“And I you.”
Pastor Sullivan lifts his voice. “The rings, please.”
“Take her ring and repeat after me. I give you this ring as a daily reminder of my love for you.”
Steven takes my left hand and slips the simple platinum band on. He looks up into my eyes.
“I give you this ring, Bliss, as a daily reminder of my love for you.”
“And now the bride,” the Pastor says.
“I give you this ring, my darling Steven, as a daily reminder of my love for you.”
We’re smiling from ear to ear.
Now Pastor Sullivan speaks loud enough for everyone to hear.
“By the power of your love and commitment and by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
I get chills from my ankles to the top of my head. We come together for a tender meaningful first kiss as a married couple.
“Mrs. French,” he says.
“Mr. French,” I answer.
And then it’s an explosion of happiness. As we walk onto the path rose petals rain down from the hands of our loved ones. People step away from their chairs and start to congratulate us. Kisses, hugs, words of love and support, they’re all ours. We’re swept away in this most beautiful moment of pure joy.
* * *
Six hours later we’re passing through the gates of our Pacific Grove love nest, Grove Cottages. The seven bungalows appear as if they’ve been waiting for us to return. Standing guard over our special spot on Earth. The lighted cliff they border looks a little different without summer flowering plants, but the rolling foamy night sea commands all the attention.
I’m holding Steven’s hand as he navigates Cottage Road. We were both so happy we were able to rent my old bungalow, and Jack and Nicki asked if they as a gift could prepare it for our wedding night. After we were assured there would be no short sheeting or goldfish in the toilet, we accepted their offer.
“There we are. Cottage Two. The agent must have lest the porch light on for us,” I say while putting my shoes back on.
“You’re not sorry you left the party early?” he says pulling into the driveway.
I smile my best invitation. “Isn’t this where the party is?”
“Come on, I’ve waited long enough. Get your beautiful ass inside.”
We get out of the car and I wait for him to get the luggage. He ignores the job.
“I’ll get them later. I want to get to bed.”
That makes me laugh a little. “I need things! Like my toothbrush and I have something sexy to wear for my wedding night you know.”
His face looks like a little boy’s who’s been told he has to go to church before he plays in the freshly fallen snow.
“No! There’s nothing you could wear that would look sexier than your naked body.” Then he quiets his voice. “Come on, Bliss. I just want to feel you on top of me. Please?”
How can I resist that? I take his outstretched hand and we walk to the door. As soon as it swings open we’re taken back in time.
“Oh, Steven.”
He doesn’t look around or check to see what his friends have prepared. He just picks me up and carries me over the threshold. When he sets me down his fingers thread through my hair and cup the back of my neck. He kisses me and I submit completely to the rising pleasure. And I return in full measure the favor.
“Wait!” I need to stop things before there is no stopping. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“I’ll give you five minutes. But first I need to go,” he says grinning.
“Oh, all right. But I’ll give you five minutes because just your kiss made me wet.”
He takes my hand and brings it to his crotch. “I can beat that.”
I slide my palm over the hard bulge pushing against the fabric. Then I close my fingers over it. An expression crosses his face that makes me think I may have just lost my bathroom privileges. It’s animalistic.
“Go, now!” I say as I step back from the beast in the cottage.
When he’s behind closed doors, I scope the room. The bedding is beautiful and turned back waiting for us. Of course Jack and Nicki have done their best. The pillows look like we could float on them. And when I run my hand over the sheet I realize I’ve never slept on the finest thread count before. There’s a beautiful arrangement of white flowers and thick feathers on the bedside table. It’s so unique and bridal. There’s an iPod sitting in its Bose charger. I bring up the loaded playlists and the first one is “Steven and Bliss Wedding Night”. Our music-loving friend has provided us our soundtrack.
As I make my way to
the kitchen, I see all the little special touches they thought out. And when I open the refrigerator I find expensive champagne and caviar. All our favorite foods are here for the week. We don’t have to do any shopping or even leave these rooms if we don’t want to.
On the wall between the two spaces hang blown up photographs of our first days together. I bring my hand to my mouth, holding back the emotion inside. These are pictures Nicki or Jack took of Steven and me. Some I’ve never seen before and some from the on-set photographer whose job it is to keep a visual diary of the making of the film.
I hear Steven come out of the bathroom. He walks up behind me and discovers what I’m looking at.
“Oh man, these are great.”
“This one’s my favorite,” I say pointing to a shot of us huddled around a beach bonfire.
In it he’s thrown a beach towel and an arm around my shoulders. My head is dipped against his chest. But it’s our faces that tell the story. We are already in love.
Steven slaps me playfully on the behind. “Please, woman, go. They’ll be plenty of time to reminisce.”
I agree completely. When I get to the bathroom I’m happy to discover a tray full with my favorite perfume, crèmes, oils and soaps. There’s a basket of toothbrushes and deodorant and ten other basics we could need. Were they psychic? How did they figure out we wouldn’t want to take the time to get our luggage? That we’d be too anxious? But then I remember, they had a honeymoon too. An exquisite delicate see-through white gown hangs on the hook on the back of the door. This is all Nicki. I say a silent thank you and get to work.
Stripping out of my clothes I rub a thin layer of the expensive oil all over my body, but think twice about dotting my pulse points with the perfume. I don’t want my lover to taste anything bitter when he licks my neck or the back of my knees. So instead a few drops are placed in my hairline. My gown goes on next.
“Bliss, what are you doing in there?” I hear his impatience through the door.
“Almost ready. Why don’t you hit play on the iPod?”
The music starts. I’m ready. Everyone has such high expectations for their wedding night but I don’t have to wonder. Steven’s going to be out of this world, and that’s where he’ll carry me to as well.