Would I Lie to You?

by Trisha R. Thomas

  “I think you guys should sit down with a financial planner. Get some clarity on where you stand. I mean, you’re both going to be around a long time. You have to manage your money very carefully, unless you plan on getting a job.” Venus started naming off the payees and amounts. It all sounded a little ridiculous, like it was she who should be sitting at the table looking up, dazed and confused, instead of her father.

  “Just what I thought.”

  Venus turned around to see her mother leaning on the kitchen entrance wall.

  “I knew you weren’t doing nothing but looking for trouble. Something to complain about or find fault in.”

  “Pauletta, what are you doing out of bed? Coming all the way down those stairs by yourself.”

  “I knew she was down here bothering you about something. That was enough to get me out of bed.” She made a couple of slow steps to the kitchen table with Henry rushing to her side. He slid out a chair for her to sit in.

  “What is it, Venus? Why are you always looking under rocks, and in crevices, always looking for the stink? Did I raise you that way, to be so negative?”

  “That’s not what I was doing. Mom, I was just trying to help. I want you and Daddy to see a financial planner; it’s something that should have been done a long time ago. You guys are going to need …”

  “What … ? What is it that we’re going to need? Let’s see, if it’s coming from your point of view, it must be money for the worst possible scenario—a full-time nurse, an oxygen tank. How about two burial plots? We should just go ahead and get those out of the way.”

  “Mom!”

  “Is this my doing? Did I make you this way?”

  Venus looked to her father. Somehow she’d done it again, even on her best behavior, she’d done it again.

  “I’m not going to be an invalid anytime soon. Neither is your father. You just let us worry about us. You need to concentrate on your own life; get yourself together and stop running around here digging up bones.”

  Venus always heard her mother use that expression about people who couldn’t mind their own business. Too busy digging up bones in other people’s backyards, while theirs stayed buried deep hoping no one would ever find them.

  “Okay, Mom,” she whispered.

  “Okay, what?”

  “I don’t want to make you mad. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please, let me help you back upstairs.”

  “I’m down here now. Glad to be out of that room.” She adjusted herself in the chair, her right arm limp at her side.

  Venus knelt down and kissed her mother on the chin. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too. Now, you can start from the beginning and tell me what’s really on your mind. You think your dad and I need help? We’re not broke, if that’s what you’re thinking, far from it.”

  Venus stood up. “I just got nervous. You and Daddy are so proud and I didn’t want that to get in the way if you needed anything. I know you wouldn’t ask, and I can spare some cash.”

  “You bet you can. You still owe us for the down payment of that house you’re not living in. Speaking of who is, where’s Airic? Haven’t seen him in some time.” Her mother’s raised eyebrow and pursed lips let Venus know her mother was indeed herself. The cancer, the illness, didn’t stand a chance with Mrs. Pauletta Johnston.

  Venus rolled her eyes. “Now who’s digging in whose backyard?”

  SOLITAIRE

  SHE realized she hadn’t talked to him in three days. That had never happened before. Airic was reliable, dependable, and honest It wasn’t her imagination or a case of happenstance. They truly had not made the effort to touch base with each other. Both ends of the candle dampened, unable to burn. No flame moving rapidly toward the middle. She tried to remember if any words were exchanged, any complication planted.

  Airic didn’t like complications. He’d had enough of that with his first marriage to Wanda. An eight-year stint that produced two children. Tionna and Kiva, two beautiful daughters that Venus only saw in pictures. They were both nearly grown, one in college, one about to start. They sent him cards that had only their names signed, no “I love you, miss you, wish you were here.” He sent them cards with the same, signed “Airic.” Not “Daddy, kisses and hugs.” At first Venus thought it strange and pushed for more communication, prodding him to call, or at least pick out a gift instead of just sending a check. Airic made it clear that things were as they should be. No complications.

  She pressed the auto dial for Airic’s number as she steered the car out of her mother and father’s driveway. She pressed the phone tight against her ear while she drove slowly back to her apartment She listened intently, counting the rings until the answering service picked up.

  “It’s late there, I know. I just wanted to say I love you. Wanted to tell you that I miss you.” She quickly hung up before she said what was really on her mind. She didn’t want to let on that she was on the highest rung of the ladder and felt like it would topple over any minute. One bad thought after another pureed into a thick slush of sadness as she glided down the 110 freeway. Her mother’s illness. The upsetting date with Clint. Work, and the thought of letting Jake down. If Lila Kelly didn’t sign on, she will have wasted a lot of Jake’s time and money. She thought of Airic, not being available to her now that she wanted to talk. She was making a mess of things as usual. Her mother told her to quit looking for the voids, the holes. Stop looking under rocks. It was a hard habit to break. She tried to think positive. Airic had obviously been preoccupied for the last few days. And to say she’d been a little preoccupied would be an understatement.

  Her apartment still hadn’t taken on a life. Growing up in her mother’s home where something was always cooking, or the house had just been cleaned, Venus depended on the sense of smell. It made a house a home, bacon frying, cookies baking, a pot of beans simmering. She flopped herself on her full down comforter, inhaling but still coming up empty. Not even the scent of Airic from his last visit.

  Venus lay in bed trying to relax in the quietness of her room. The sun had gone down, then stopped, threatening to suspend itself over the East Cascades. She’d will the sleep to come, knowing she’d feel better after an uninterrupted break from her own mind. The anxiety would melt by morning, transforming itself into something entirely different. A more harmless form of pain like yelling at a customer service operator, accusing a salesperson in the department store of racial profiling, or cutting someone off on the freeway.

  She remained restless, curled up in a tight ball. The illuminated clock on her nightstand was a new source of light now that it was completely dark in the room. It was only seven o’clock, but the heaviness of the day’s events had taken its toll. It hadn’t turned out too bad, really. Venus smiled thinking about herself and her mother. They had lain in bed playing a game of Mancala before she dropped off to sleep. Afterward, her aunt Katha had come over armed with po-man’s meals, as her mother called them—casserole, soup, and spaghetti, the kind of meals that could be stretched over a few days at a time. Venus made a big salad with healthy greens, tomatoes, and carrots to counter all the bread and starch her aunt had supplied. While her father tinkered with his trains she and her aunt cleaned the house. She’d kissed her sleeping mother good-bye, and thanked God that she was still whole, in her heart and mind. She would rather her mother be mean and ornery than quiet and displaced.

  All in all, it had been a great day She just needed to relax. She could at least claim no regrets, until now, she thought, as she reached up to answer the ringing phone. She knew it was Jake before she’d said “Hello.”

  “Get out of bed, I’m coming to get you.”

  “How do you know I’m in bed? And what makes you think I’m alone?”

  “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

  The silence was final on the other end of the phone. Venus sat up and looked around her dark bedroom.

  Pauletta would have a quick painless antidote for what Venus was feeling. She’d say so
mething simple like “anybody that has a choice has too much to choose from in the first place.” Glib, effortless, and absolutely true. She had no business feeling like she had choices.

  Venus threw off the covers and jumped out of bed. In the bathroom she sprayed moisturizer in her hair and tugged it into spirals. She uncapped the lipstick and rubbed it around her full lips. She slipped on the jeans that had been sitting in a ball on the bathroom floor. In the closet, she rummaged around for a sweater to pull over her head. By the time twenty minutes had passed she was effortlessly beautiful with her smoky dark eyeliner smudged from her earlier struggle for sleep. He’d think she meant to do that. She paced around the front door of her apartment and was about to change her mind when the phone rang.

  “Your chariot awaits.” Jake was smiling into the phone.

  She laughed. “I’ll be right down.” She grabbed her keys and left her purse behind. As if by doing so, she carried none of the responsibility of being herself. Identity unknown. Jake was standing at the entrance, still hovering near the security panel. He wore a crimson red sweater with JP Wear emblazoned across the front and a pair of dark denim jeans that hung loose and generous.

  Venus pushed the door open. “What do you think you’re up to, Mr. Parson? Is that to impress me?”

  “What?” He looked himself up and down, following her eyes.

  “I know who you are, you don’t have to flaunt it.” She tugged at his baggy jeans.

  He turned a full circle. “Just wanted you to know what you’re working with.” Venus couldn’t help focusing on his firm butt while he did his model turn. “I think I know what I’m working with. I like it.”

  “You do? I was beginning to think I was just a job.”

  “You’re not just a job …” She smiled and frowned at the same time. “You’re an adventure.”

  He grabbed her hand and led her out the second set of glass doors to the dark clear evening. She stood beside him while he unlocked the car door and opened it for her. Well of course he did. If nothing else, Jake was a gentleman. A well-studied gentleman, like learning how to speak another language, or to play tennis. His goal was to be everything a woman would ever want. Then why was he single? Stop that!

  She shook it off. Besides, she didn’t know if he was single or not. He’d never said.

  “Okay, I know you’re sick of this question, but how’s your mom doing?” He started the car, the engine’s vibration sending tiny ripples through her body

  “For the first time, I can honestly say she’s doing well. Quite well. Her spirit is strong and accounted for. The surgery was really only the beginning. She’s got the strength to make it through all the stuff that’s coming next, the chemo and the side effects. I know she’s going to be fine.” Venus squeezed his hand back that had found hers. It was going to be okay

  “I’m glad to hear it.” He took his hand back and shifted the gears of the sports car. They were on the freeway speeding in and out of line with the other cars.

  “Now, are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

  “Don’t panic, we won’t call it a date. Please feel comfortable knowing that you are having dinner with Mr. Parson, a colleague and client.” He looked at her and smiled. “Then, we’re going to my place to make out.”

  She slapped his shoulder pretending shock. He chuckled, but didn’t try to take it back.

  Venus let her head fall against the headrest, riding to the bass rhythms coming out of his speakers. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the beat as he glided the car’s gear easily to high speed.

  THEY were within walking distance of his condo. The restaurant sat on the pier, overlooking jagged rocks and crashing waves. Each setting was intimate, tables with room for only two. Couples dining by soft candlelight, peaceful, without pretense. The waiters laughed and talked with their patrons, taking their time, making sure everyone was taken care of.

  Jake sat across from her, smiling, rubbing his well-manicured goatee after the hostess left the menus and water.

  “I have to confess, I’m not hungry. I ate earlier at my parents’ house.”

  “That means you came just to be in my company? You don’t know how good that makes me feel.”

  “What must you think of me?” Venus couldn’t maintain the eye contact without falling under his spell. She hid herself behind the menu but asked again, “What’s going on in that head of yours? You worried about Lila Kelly?”

  “Nope. Wondering if I should get the salmon or lobster bisque.”

  “Liar.” Venus couldn’t resist looking him directly in the eye now.

  “I’m thinking how beautiful you are. I’m thinking I wish that I’d met you before this ring was put on your finger.”

  She put her hand underneath the table. She looked down, not knowing how to respond.

  “Now, your turn, tell me what’s going on with you. Did I embarrass you?”

  “Am I blushing?” Venus put the menu down. “You shouldn’t say things that might get you into trouble. What if I took this ring off right now? What if I said, you’re right, you’re the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? Let me guess, I bet you’d turn around and run so fast in the other direction I’d have to use a searchlight to find you.”

  He smiled. “You shouldn’t say things that might get you into trouble.”

  “So what would you do?” She leaned forward, both hands placed underneath her chin.

  “I feel like this is a dare.”

  “You’re the one who brought it up.”

  “Why don’t you take it off and find out?” Jake leaned forward, rising to the challenge.

  She swallowed hard, giving it actual thought. She imagined slipping the ring off and into her pocket. “What would that mean for you? Really, what more could that mean? That I’m an unloyal woman, easily swayed by any smooth-talking, smooth-walking brother such as yourself.”

  “First of all, I’m not just any brotha.”

  The preppy waitress came over, happy and drunk with life. “You two looked so intense and in love, I didn’t know if I should interrupt.” She let a puppy dog smile fall on both of them. “That’s a beautiful solitaire.” She bent her knees to get a better look. “Wow, a beautiful cut. My husband is a jewelry designer, so I’m constantly looking and taking notes. That’s a true beauty. Good choice.” She turned to Jake with a smile.

  “We need a few more minutes.” He opened the menu for the first time.

  “Okay, I’ll keep an eye out.” She bounced away, her ponytail swinging, without a clue as to what damage she’d done.

  Venus was the one doing the staring this time.

  He looked up, catching her off guard. “What’s on your mind?”

  “I want to know what you’d do, if I took off the ring. Tell me.”

  “Actions speak louder than words.” He put his face back in the menu.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “That means, try me.”

  She twisted the ring around until the diamond rested inside her hand. “I know this is what you do, Jake. This is your thing. But this is my life, it’s real. Would you really mess with that when you know you’re not serious?”

  He leaned back in his chair with a confused look.

  “What will you two have this evening?” The waitress came back, leaning slightly between the two.

  “The check. We’re going to head out,” he said, reaching into his back pocket.

  Venus flashed a polite smile. “Just give us a few more minutes.” She waited until the waitress was out of earshot. “What’re you doing?” The thought of going back to her apartment, having failed at something as simple as being pleasant, felt unbearable. “What happened?”

  “I guess I’m a little tired of being told I don’t have a sincere bone in my body.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “That’s exactly what you said.”

  Venus let her head rest in her hands for a moment. “I’m sorry. Okay? It’
s just that you don’t even know me, and all of a sudden you’re talking about us like”—she looked up at him—“as if we can be more than what we are right now. I enjoy your company, I guess that’s obvious. You enjoy mine, but I’m in a committed relationship. Period.” She turned the ring back around on her finger.

  “Then why are you here?” Jake leaned forward on his elbows. “How committed are you when you’re here with me?”

  “I know my limits. I have boundaries.”

  “Really? Where were those boundaries when you were in my bed the other night?”

  The air left her lungs and did not return. A low blow. Venus stood up and gripped the edge of the table. “You know what, you’re right. We should go. Can I be honest with you? I was just sitting in the car on the way over here, trying to figure out why someone as perfect as you doesn’t have someone in his life, and I just got the answer.”

  “Sit down, please.”

  She folded her arms over her chest. “I don’t want to sit down. Are you coming or do I need to call a taxi?” The last thing Venus wanted was to end another night out being picked up on the street corner by a tired, condescending cab driver, but she’d do it before letting Jake disrespect her.

  “Just for a minute, please, sit down.”

  She slid back in the chair and kept her attention on the burning candle in the center of the table. The flame dimmed, then failed completely, giving her no excuse to look down.

  Jake scooted the candle to the side and reached for her hands. “I wasn’t trying to insinuate that we would run off to the hills and live happily ever after just like that. I know with a woman like you, I’d have to earn that right. All I was trying to say is that, you came to me. When you stayed with me that night, I understood something was missing in your life. It’s not too late to find out what that something is, that’s all I’m saying. I didn’t mean to imply that you were less than the person you are by being with me. It’s an honor, a privilege that I don’t take lightly, and I know you don’t either.” He covered her hand again with his. His palms were soft but firm, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for putting you on the spot.”