Beautiful Ever After

by Georgia Cates

  That’s the craziest shite I’ve ever heard. “You’re already married.”

  “I can begin the divorce process tomorrow.”

  My brother-in-law Doug. The poor bastard has no idea that his wife has come to my house, gotten on her knees and tried to suck my cock, and told me she wants to divorce him and marry me.

  “Yer aff yer heid if you think that I’d ever marry you.”

  Blair sits back, her bum against her lower legs. “You’ll marry me or lose everything you love. Your choice.”

  I’ve already lost everything I love.

  “Get out. Now.”

  Blair stands and adjusts her dress, retying the belt around her waist. “I want you, Max. And for that reason, I’m going to give you time to think about what I’m offering you.”

  I don’t need time to think about anything. “No deal.”

  “You shouldn’t make your decision in haste. Make no mistake about it. The price of having Caitriona is high. It’s a price that you can’t afford.”

  If she were a man, I’d punch her in her fucking face.

  “Go home to your husband.” The poor fool.

  I forgo the tumbler and turn up the bottle of whisky. The liquid scorches my throat all the way until it hits my gut, and then the fire spreads inside of my core.

  Without doubt, Blair is the spawn of Thomas Lochridge. And she may actually be eviler than her father is.

  Ava Rose. I have come to love that little girl so much. And I could lose her if Lou comes back into my life.

  My daughter or the woman I love? How do I make that kind of choice?

  I can’t. There has to be another way. I can’t lose either of them. I won’t.

  I find the bottom of the bottle quickly and opt to sleep on the couch. I don’t want another repeat of today—waking to a cold bed and reaching out only to find an empty space beside me.

  “Come back to me, Lou. Come. Back. Please.”

  8

  Caitriona Louden

  Two Weeks Later

  Another restless night. That’s my nightly ritual despite the exhaustion I constantly feel. This pregnancy has robbed me of all my energy. But that’s normal at this stage according to everything I’ve read.

  I lie on my back, staring at the darkness dancing on my bedroom ceiling. It’s my other nightly routine and has been for almost six weeks. It’s hard to believe that my separation from Hutch is approaching the month-and-a-half mark.

  I’ve somehow managed to survive without him. Not that I really wanted to in the beginning but this baby has changed everything. I already love our child with all of my heart.

  I haven’t felt well today. It’s been the worst day so far. My stomach has been threatening to send me to the toilet for hours, and it finally makes good on its threats.

  Sudden. Sharp. Stabbing.

  My abdomen hasn’t cramped like this in years. Not since I was a teenager and having trouble with my periods and menstrual cramps.

  Bright. Red. Blood. A lot of it.

  What is this? What is happening?

  I wipe away the blood and more replaces it. “Nooo!”

  No, no, no. This isn’t happening. I’m not losing this baby.

  Drip. Drip. Drip.

  More blood.

  “Oh God, no.”

  Tucking a towel between my legs, I return to bed and call Rachel.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I need you to come over and take me to the hospital.” I feel a huge gush between my legs. “I’m bleeding.”

  “How badly?”

  “It’s a lot.”

  “All right. We’ll be right there.”

  I lie motionless on my back, crying, as I wait for Rachel to arrive. I’m terrified that any kind of movement could be the single motion that causes me to lose this baby.

  That can’t happen. I lost Hutch. I can’t lose his baby too. The pain will be too much to bear.

  A thin sheen of sweat has formed over my body, and I’m trembling when Rachel and Claud come into my bedroom.

  “Tell me what’s happening.”

  “My lower abdomen is cramping and I’m bleeding. A lot.”

  Rachel lifts the covers and pulls back the towel between my legs. “You need to see a doctor.”

  Rachel motions for Claud to come to us. “Carry her to the car.”

  “It’s bad, isn’t it?” I haven’t looked but I felt it coming out.

  Three heartbeats pass before Rachel answers. “It’s a lot.”

  Claud pushes his arms beneath me and lifts my body from the bed, the movement making my cramp intensify tenfold. “Ohh, it hurts.”

  “I’m sorry,” Claud says.

  I wrap my arms around his shoulders and as tightly as I can in spite of the weakness taking over my body. “I’m losing the baby. I know I am.”

  “We’re going to do everything possible to make sure that you don’t.”

  Something is coming out of me down there, but I can’t bring myself to say the words. Admitting it makes the possibility too real.

  Rachel covers me with a blanket and Claud carries me to the lift. And I pray with every step that God will allow this tiny little baby to remain inside of me.

  Please, please, please don’t take this baby from me. I want to be its mother so badly. I want to love it. And I want it to love me.

  Claud gently places me in the backseat and Rachel crawls in beside me. She lifts my head, placing it in her lap and strokes the top of my head. “It’s going to be okay, Caity bug.”

  I don’t say the words but I think Rachel is wrong. There’s too much blood for everything to be okay.

  “I know what you’re thinking but this baby is a part of you. I’ve never known a stronger person in my life. This baby is going to be okay.”

  Claud’s driver makes a turn and I grip my stomach. “Ohhh,” I hiss through my clenched teeth.

  “I’m sorry. He’s just trying to hurry.”

  “It’s not his driving. The pain is getting worse on its own whether I’m jostled or not.”

  The bright lights of the hospital’s glowing sign are a welcome sight. But I think we’re too late.

  “Don’t move. I’ll go inside to get someone,” Claud says.

  Rachel is still stroking the top of my head when Claud returns to the car with two staff members of the hospital and a wheelchair.

  “Are you able to move?” one of the nurses asked.

  “Probably not quickly, but yes, I think I can move.”

  Rachel helps me sit up and scoot toward the open door. The staff members grasp me beneath my arms and assist me to the wheelchair. The drenched towel drops to the ground and I see the proof of how heavily I’m bleeding.

  I’m taken to an exam room and assessed by a couple of hospital staff members, nurses I presume. One asks me a million questions while the other takes my vital signs and a third appears and draws blood.

  “The first thing Dr. Kimble will want to do is an ultrasound to evaluate what’s going on.”

  Oh God. This is it. Someone is going to swirl that wand around my stomach and tell me if my baby is gone from my body.

  “Will I have to wait long?”

  “Someone should be in very soon.”

  The nurses step out of the exam room, leaving me alone with Rachel.

  “On the way to the hospital, I felt something come out.”

  A soft gasp catches in Rachel’s throat. “You didn’t tell me that.”

  “I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.”

  Rachel reaches for my hand. “Ohhh, Cait.”

  My chest aches. “I think I’ve lost the only piece of Hutch that I had left.”

  Rachel laces her fingers through mine, entwining our hands. “You must have faith, Cait.”

  “I want to.” But that’s a very difficult thing to do when you’ve known nothing but heartache your entire life.

  Good things don’t happen to me. Choose the worst possible outcome and that’s my fate. And losing my
child feels like the next tragedy waiting to happen.

  The door opens and my doctor comes into the room. Behind her is a woman rolling an ultrasound machine and I know exactly what to expect this time.

  “Hello, Caitriona. The nurses tell me that you’ve come in because you’re having pain and bleeding.”

  “I am.”

  “When did this start?”

  “I had mild cramping earlier today. I thought it was stomach cramps but then the pain got a lot worse and then there was blood when I went to the toilet.”

  “When did the bleeding start?”

  “About an hour ago.”

  “We’re going to do an ultrasound and find out what’s happening.”

  Warm gel on my skin and a wand pressed against my lower belly. I thought I was scared to death when we did this same thing two weeks ago but tonight I feel a completely different kind of fear.

  I hold my breath, waiting for Dr. Kimble to tell me the fate of my son or daughter’s life. And every moment between the beats of my heart feels like an hour rather than a second.

  I suck air between my teeth when Dr. Kimble presses the wand against my lower right side.

  “That area is tender?”

  “Yes. Very.” And it’s new. I wasn’t tender there earlier.

  “I’m sorry. I know this is uncomfortable. I’ll try to not press harder than necessary.”

  “It’s fine. Press as hard as you need to.”

  Dr. Kimble twists a knob on the machine and I hear a fast and steady swooshing.

  “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”

  I look at Rachel, my mouth open, but I can’t form any words. Only tears.

  “What a beautiful sound, Cait.”

  “The most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.” My voice breaks on the last word.

  Dr. Kimble finishes the ultrasound and rolls her stool over so she’s facing me. “We have a problem, Caitriona.”

  The happiness and hope in my heart immediately plummet.

  “The good news. Your baby has a heartbeat so you’ve not miscarried, but you do have a subchorionic bleed between the uterus and the placenta. And it’s a big one.”

  “That sounds serious.”

  “Most of these kinds of bleeds will stop, and the hematoma will dissolve on its own without any kind of intervention. But occasionally the bleeding doesn’t stop, and the placenta will separate from the uterine wall. The pregnancy ends in a miscarriage when that happens.”

  “Is that what’s happening to me?”

  “It could be.”

  “Am I going to lose my baby?”

  “It could go either way at this point.”

  Words can’t describe the fear I feel inside.

  “Is there anything that can be done to save my baby?” I will do anything that might swing the pendulum in our favor.

  “The bleeding needs to stop, and the only thing that could help with that at this point is bedrest.”

  “I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

  “I wish all of my patients were as compliant as you.”

  “I just want what’s best for my baby.”

  Please survive this, little baby.

  Please.

  9

  Maxwell Hutcheson

  I was thrilled when Rachel called and asked to meet. I was so certain that she had good news. But after seeing her face, I can tell that something isn’t right. “What is wrong?”

  “Oh God.” Rachel cups her hand over her forehead and turns away. “Cait may hate me forever for doing this.” Her voice is low as though she may be talking to herself rather than me.

  “I doubt that. She doesn’t have it in her to hate anyone.” Not even the bastards who have mistreated her.

  Rachel’s face scrunches and she looks upward, blinking rapidly. “I don’t know how to say this to you without crying.”

  Okay. Now she’s scaring the shite out of me. “Is Lou all right?”

  Rachel shakes her head and a pair of tears fall down her cheeks. “She isn’t all right. She needs you now more than ever.”

  Countless terrifying scenarios rush through my mind. “What has happened?”

  “I’m not the one who should be telling you this. I don’t know how to say it to you.” Rachel squeezes her eyes shut, and more tears roll down her cheeks.

  She can’t throw something like that out there and then not tell me what’s going on. “I need you to just say it. I’m imagining the worst right now.”

  “Cait was pregnant with your baby but she miscarried.” Rachel’s chest vibrates when she inhales deeply. “She’s devastated and not handling it well.”

  It’s not often that someone has the capability of shaking me to the core but I am officially shaken. And speechless.

  A baby? My baby?

  I thought I couldn’t have children.

  Was I wrong all of this time?

  “She was going to tell you about the baby after the shock wore off. But she didn’t get the chance because she started having complications.”

  Medical complications typically mean danger. “What kind of complications? Is she going to be okay?”

  “The miscarriage didn’t happen quickly. She had pain and bleeding, a lot of bleeding, for days. She hemorrhaged and had to have emergency surgery. I don’t even know how many bags of blood they had to give her.”

  “Is she still in the hospital?”

  “They released her yesterday.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “It all started a week ago and it’s been four days since she lost the baby.” Rachel inhales deeply. “She’s a wreck. You can’t imagine how much she wanted that baby. It was the only part of you that she had left and losing it has devastated her.”

  Lou is hurting and I can’t stand it. I don’t want her to ever feel pain. “I have to see her.”

  “I was praying you’d feel that way, but you need to hear the rest of the story before you see her. The part about your sister-in-law. The part you’re not supposed to ever know.”

  “What did Blair do to her?”

  “Your sister-in-law hired a private investigator. She knows everything about your inamorata-client arrangement. She threatened to ruin you if Cait didn’t leave. The only reason she complied was because she loves you and couldn’t bear to be the cause of your downfall.”

  And like always, Blair got what she wanted. Zero surprise there. “I suspected as much.”

  “Everything Cait did was out of love for you.”

  “I’m not angry with Lou. I just want her back.” Being together again is the only thing that matters to me at this point.

  “I’ve seen Cait hurt before but never like this. And I can’t help her. You’re the only one who can make her pain better.”

  “Take me to her.”

  Forty-six days. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen Lou’s beautiful face. Since I’ve heard her contagious laughter. Since I’ve held her in my arms.

  Forty-six days. And I died a wee bit each day she wasn’t in my life.

  Thank fuck it won’t be forty-seven.

  My heart is pounding erratically and throbbing in my ears when Calvin stops the car in front of Lou’s building. And I can’t believe it. She’s been living only ten miles away from me. I’ve driven by her building countless times since she left. But ten miles might as well have been ten thousand when I had no idea where she was.

  Rachel lets me into the flat and I enter Lou’s bedroom. And all of the time that separated us disappears when I see her lying on her side, sleeping with one hand tucked beneath the side of her face. I don’t know how many times I’ve awakened and seen her just like that. And I miss it desperately. But never again.

  I kick out of my shoes and pull back the covers, slipping beneath them. I inch closer until my front presses against her back and I wrap my arm around her middle section.

  “Mo maise,” I whisper.

  She twitches and I pull her closer, pressing my nose against the
back of her hair and inhaling deeply.

  “Mo maise,” I say again, this time a wee bit louder than a whisper.

  “Hutch?” Her voice is hoarse and my name is barely decipherable.

  “Aye. I’m here.”

  “This feels real. Not like the other dreams I’ve had.”

  “This is real.”

  “The medicine does weird things to me, but I take it because it helps me forget what happened.” Her voice remains dazed as though she might still be lingering between sleep and wake.

  “Look at me, Lou. I’m here with you.”

  She twists and looks at me over her shoulder for a moment before turning over and wrapping her arms around me. She squeezes tightly, pulling me against her.

  “I’ve got you, my sweet lass, and everything is going to be all right. I promise.”

  She pulls away and looks at me, her eyes taking a moment to focus on mine. “You really are here.”

  “I am.”

  Her hand wraps around my cheek, cradling it. “Something terrible has happened.”

  “I know.”

  “I was pregnant… but I lost the baby.”

  “I know.”

  “I was going to tell you. I swear I was but—”

  She presses her forehead to mine and her body shudders. She sucks in a quick, deep breath and then a sob that possesses the power of ripping your heart apart fills the room.

  “I’m so sorry you went through that without me. I wish I’d been with you.”

  Her tears trigger mine, and together, we grieve for the bairn we’ve lost. I mourn the passing of a child who was gone before I ever knew it existed. My heart bleeds for a wee one I didn’t know I wanted until now.

  The pain. The sorrow. The longing.

  It’s real.

  Lou struggles to catch her breath. “I wanted our baby. Words aren’t enough to tell you how much I wanted our son or daughter. And it feels like I’ve lost a piece of my heart.”

  I hold her against me, stroking the back of her hair. “I know I haven’t given you a reason to think so but I would have been happy about the baby.”

  She lifts her face and her eyes connect with mine. “I thought you wouldn’t want it.”