Bird Girl

by Megan Rose

  “You’re not gonna invite your friend, are you?” Claudia looked disgusted at the idea of Connor joining them.

  “No. Actually, he never has to know about this, okay? This is just between us. If you wouldn’t mind not mentioning it to him, I’d really appreciate it.”

  “No problem.” Kevin stood up. “I have to go meet up with Mikayla,” he said.

  Lacey looked confused. “Who’s Mikayla?” He looked at her like it was obvious. “Oh…then why am – “

  “Don’t ask him about their relationship,” Claudia said. “No one understands it but them. Don’t worry, she won’t care that you’re going as his date.”

  “That’s right,” Kevin said as he put his jacket on. “We’re taking my car tomorrow, so I’ll find Marty, wherever he is, and wake him up to go, and I’ll pick you guys up. You still staying in that apartment?”

  “Yup. As long as my daddy thinks I’m rooming with another girl, he’s paying for it.” She looked at Lacey. “He lives in California and was an absent father, so he has to make up for it now that he remembers I exist. If I wanted to, I could tell him I’m living with Joe and he would still pay rent, but it’s just easier this way. No drama.” She unwrapped a lollipop that seemed to appear out of nowhere and started sucking on it. “Mmm…root beer. Want one?” she asked Lacey.

  “Oh, no thanks. Okay, so if I give you my address will someone be able to pick me up?” She pulled a pen out of her purse and snatched the napkin that someone had just thrown at Marty. “We should exchange phone numbers.”

  They gave each other their phone numbers and Lacey wrote down her address for Claudia, who folded it up and put it in her jacket pocket. “Okay great, guys.” Lacey smiled. “Thanks!”

  She started to leave when she heard Kevin call her back to the table. “You can’t wear something like that, though. They probably won’t even let you in.”

  “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Lacey pouted.

  “Yeah, he’s right. Trust me, it wouldn’t fly. I’ll pick you up early and we’ll pick something out for you from my closet. You look like you’re about the same size as me. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.” She winked.

  “Oh…okay. Thanks. So, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” She gave them a little wave and walked out of the diner. She didn’t think she had done anything wrong – she just wanted to go to the club, so they were going to take her. Connor didn’t have to find out about it. And if he did, so what?

  Maybe they’d be nicer to him after that. Yeah, maybe if they were friends with Lacey they wouldn’t be so hard on Connor. She resolved that this could actually be helping him and ignored the feeling of guilt that had settled in her stomach.

  Lacey skipped away to the parking lot and pulled out her cell to call Mayra. She wouldn’t tell Mayra she was going to the club, either. It was too “politically incorrect” or “morally bankrupt” or one of those phrases people liked to use when they felt like being hipster.

  It was going to be a good weekend. She could tell. The group looked like they all knew how to have a good time. And she felt so cool going with the cool kids to a club. She had never been cool. Maybe her push-up bra had been worth wearing after all.

  ✽✽✽

  Saturday morning, Mark got to his store early so he could sneak into the unopened gym without anyone noticing. As he walked up to the store, however, he saw an eager Lacey bouncing up and down in front of the door, apparently waiting for him.

  “Hey,” he said, worried. “Is everything okay?”

  “Mark! Yes! Everything is really great! I just need to buy something from your store.”

  “You know I’m not open yet, don’t you? The shelves aren’t even all up yet.”

  “Oh, come on, you can’t do a friend a favor?” She pouted. Mark was going to mention that he thought their friendship was over, seeing as he hadn’t seen her since Mayra came back, and then he realized he was thinking like a girl again and left it alone.

  “Okay sure,” he said, worried that she showed up at the store at all, let alone two hours before he usually got there and three hours before the salon opened.

  “What were you planning on doing while you waited?” Mark asked as he unlocked the door.

  "I was deciding just as you walked up…I had a bunch of things I wanted to do, but I couldn’t pick,” she said and giggled. “Okay, I need one of those thingies!” she pointed to his thermos as they walked through the door.

  “You need a thermos? What, are you going to buy the protein shake yourself now?” Now that we don’t split one anymore, he thought. Then he thought, Football! Wrestling! Man things! to remind himself once more that he wasn’t a girl.

  “No! No!” Lacey spoke emphatically. “I’m starting a new diet.”

  “A diet? Lacey, you don’t need to go on a diet.” Mark searched through some boxes until he found a thermos.

  “I do! It’s for the wedding. Mayra’s going to do it too. Except she’s doing a different diet from me, which is okay because mine is more vigorous and I’m the one who needs to lose more weight anyway.”

  Mark chose to ignore the comment about her weight, as he was not willing to have a discussion with a girl, trying to convince her that she was pretty. “What’s the diet you’re trying?”

  “It’s this cleansing thing,” she said. “It’s scientifically-proven to work – I asked Mayra. She said it was, but then she tried to tell me it wasn’t a good diet. I don’t understand how it’s not a good diet if it’s supposed to work. Anyway, I’ll mostly be drinking water. And leek soup.”

  “Leek soup?” Mark asked. She nodded. “And water?” She nodded again. “And what will you be eating?”

  “The leek soup,” she said and held out her hands for the thermos.

  “Lacey, it’s not a diet if you’re not eating anything. Go on the diet that Mayra’s on. I’m sure hers is really good too and you probably get to actually eat. You should ask her about it.”

  “No, I know about it. I want this diet, and I would like that thermos please. I would like to fill it with water before I go for my run.” Lacey was switching her weight from foot to foot as she spoke. She looked like a little kid waiting for candy.

  Mark didn’t want to enable any of her stupid diet decisions. “Sorry, I can’t sell this to you yet anyway. The store’s not open.”

  Lacey improved her impression of a kid wanting candy by pouting and stomping her foot. “That’s ridiculous! Mark you just don’t want to give me that thermos because you think it’s not a good diet. Well, even if I don’t get the thermos I’m going to go on that diet! Other places sell thermoses too, you know! I just liked your shiny one.” She crossed her arms.

  “Lacey, why don’t you just hang out here for a while before you go to work? You can tell me all the wedding stuff you’ve been talking to Mayra about.”

  “I’m too busy.” She shook her head. “I’ve got a lot of things to do today. And I have to get started, so can I have the thermos or not?” She held out her hand. Mark hesitated, and then gave it to her. She was right; she could get a thermos anywhere. Might as well give her a good one.

  “Just be careful, Tink,” he said as she flew out the doors. Seconds later she flew right back in.

  “You called me Tink,” she said.

  “Yeah…sorr –“

  “That’s cute,” she smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the nose and then scurried away. And then Mark stood there for a minute trying to figure out what was going on.

  ✽✽✽

  Saturday night around 11:00, just as Mark was about to lock his second-floor apartment, get ready for bed and go to sleep, he heard a car slam on the brakes. The screech was so loud, he thought somebody might be hurt, and he decided to go down to the parking lot to make sure everything was okay.

  Then Nikki Minaj’s voice and her super bass were reverberating through the walls of his apartment. His concern for someone’s safety melted away as his impatience kicked in. It was Saturday night. Of co
urse there was blasting music and squeaking brakes and howls of laughter. Some college kid lived in his building. He didn’t know how a college kid could afford to live there – it was a nice apartment complex and it wasn’t cheap.

  He could only assume that some rich girl’s father was paying for her to stay somewhere safe (because, after all, the rest of Whindry was slightly less innocent and friendly than Disney World).

  Mark didn’t want to ruin their fun, but they were disturbing a community filled with families and little kids, not to mention the music they were blasting wasn’t even good. He slipped his sneakers on and told himself to be patient with the college kids.

  He wasn’t going to yell at them like some cranky old fart from upstairs, but he would get them to quiet down at least a little. They’d probably see him as someone older and cool and would listen to him anyway.

  “Hey, guys!” He walked towards a guy and a girl standing together. The girl had long brown hair and she appeared to be wearing some sort of black body paint plus a black leather jacket draped around her shoulders. Maybe this was some sort of artsy protest or something. The guy was leaning against a car that was parked crookedly, through two spots. They looked like they might have been arguing, except they suddenly started making out ravenously, making Mark’s discomfort increase.

  A few feet away stood another guy, smaller than the first, staring off into space with his mouth slightly open. He seemed to be nodding to someone, but Mark didn’t see anyone else there. Then, he pulled out a mangled Twinkie from his jacket pocket and started chowing down. Did Twinkies even still exist anymore?

  In the car behind the first couple was another couple. They were both in the front passenger seat making out. The black-haired girl was so little and the blonde guy was so huge, they looked ridiculous together.

  The first couple stopped eating each other’s faces when Mark called to them. “What’s up?” the guy said, an edge to his voice, glaring at Mark. Did he think Mark wanted to interrupt their public display of affection to tell them to shut up? No. He would really, really rather not. He had addressed them, though, so he figured now he had to do what he came outside to do.

  “Could I talk to, maybe, all of you?” Mark gestured to Twinkie Kid and the giant in the car. The guy giving him the death stare seemed to be on the verge of telling him to go away, but the girl in the body paint interrupted him before he began.

  “There’s no point in getting that guy.” She pointed to Twinkie Kid. “He has no clue what’s going on. I bet if you asked him where he was right now he would say Sea World.” Now that Mark looked at her, he could see that she wasn’t actually wearing body paint. She was wearing pants and a shirt that might have looked somewhat conservative if she hadn’t been vacuum-packed inside of them.

  “And them?” She pointed to the couple in the car. “That just started about three minutes before you came, and I don’t think it’s going to end anytime soon. That’s why we’re waiting out here. Kevin came to pick us up, and by the time we were ready they were drooling all over each other already. We tried to break it up. You can give it a go if you want.” The girl with the flowy hair stepped aside.

  Mark didn’t point out that a few moments ago the two of them had been drooling all over each other too, because he figured the kid with the hair full of Pomade was just waiting to start a fight. He was looking around the parking lot, searching for trouble, Mark was sure.

  “Um…Excuse me?” He knocked on the door of the beat up Toyota Camry with his knuckle three times. Some red paint flicked off, contributing to the polka-dot effect of the car, thanks to a crappy paint job from what must have been years ago.

  The music was so loud, though, he wasn’t surprised they couldn’t hear him. He pulled hard on the door handle to get their attention, expecting it to be locked, but it wasn’t, and the door flew open. The girl, who had been pressed up against the window, fell right out of the car, straight onto her back. She groaned for a minute and Mark took a few steps away from the car as the big blonde guy turned the music off and got up.

  “What the hell, man? What’s your problem?” Oh, here was the epitome of That Jerk That Everyone Hates. He looked frightening, but Mark bet he was just an immature baby who still lived with his mom. Mark smiled a half-smile at the thought of his mom doing his laundry for him and calling him down for dinner. “You think it’s funny?!” That Jerk took a step forward. He looked really mad now.

  “No, of course not.” Mark reached down to the girl to help her up, since her gentleman friend didn’t even seem to notice her rolling around on the pavement, clutching her elbow.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Is your elbow hurt?” She stood up with his help and brushed the pebbles and stones off of her clothes and out of her hair. She bent down to put one of her shoes back on and Mark took the moment that they were all concentrating on her to retreat a few steps, seeing as they all seemed to hate him. Maybe not Twinkie Kid. He was still off in his own little world.

  “Just a little.” She finally looked up. “It’s not – “ She paused when she finally looked at Mark. “Wait…” She started to smile. Mark thought she looked familiar, but he didn’t know many people in this town to begin with. And he thought he would remember the stark contrast between her black hair and pale, freckled skin. “Mark?”

  Okay, maybe he had met her. He looked at her a little more closely, while keeping his distance from the group and thought maybe she looked a little like Lacey. Actually, she looked exactly like Lacey. No, she looked like Lacey’s evil twin sister. Her short bob was jet black and her eyeliner was thick and accompanied by giant spider-looking fake eyelashes.

  It looked like she had forgotten to put on pants and her strappy heels were so high, she was wobbling dangerously, trying to keep her balance and failing. She clutched That Jerk’s arm.

  “Mark, it’s me!” She smiled fully now and it was so familiar, he figured Lacey really must have a twin that she didn’t talk about. That was the only explanation. Lacey wasn’t stupid enough to go out, wearing a dish rag as a dress and six-inch heels. “It’s me! Lacey!” She started to jump up and down, forgetting about her shoes, and one of the heels slipped out from under her foot. Mark rushed over to help her, but That Jerk had already caught her.

  “Oops.” She giggled. “That was stupid.” She looked over to smile at That Jerk. (Mark was considering changing his name to That Ass.) “Thanks, Kevin.” That Jerk, or Kevin, as he was known to Lacey, gave her a quick smile and then turned to look at Mark, his face once again made of stone.

  “Anyway,” she said as she smoothed down her shirt. Mark was going to ask if she needed to borrow a pair of pants or something when she said, “Are you coming with us? You are, aren’t you? Oh, this is great! It’ll be so fun! Okay, now we have to make room for Mark in the car,” she announced to everyone. “So he can take the last seat and I’ll just sit on someone’s lap.”

  “What?” Mark said. “You can’t do that.”

  “Of course I can. Don’t worry, I’m little. I’ve already lost weight from my diet too – well, I think I have anyway - so I’m even lighter now. You won’t even know I’m there.” Her pupils looked huge – like a cat’s right before it attacked its prey.

  “Wait, why are you automatically sitting on his lap?” Kevin glanced at Mark then back at Lacey.

  “You’ll be driving,” she said and he stared. “Right? You said you don’t want anyone else to drive your car, ‘no matter how crappy it is.’ That is a direct quote.” Lacey lightly stomped her foot and both men flew over to catch her before she fell again, but this time she stayed still.

  “I don’t have to sit on your lap, Mark, if you don’t want me to. That’s just how it naturally worked out in my head. I can sit on Marty’s lap.” They looked over at Twinkie Boy, who was laughing up at the sky. “Or Claudia’s,” she suggested.

  “Sorry – I’m sitting up front. Carsickness,” she said to Mark, aside.

  “Yeah, sure, carsickness. You just don’t want t
o be squished in the back with the boys. Lacey, you’re more than welcome to sit on my lap,” Pomade Guy said.

  “Oh no, no, no!” Claudia pushed him. “Lacey, you can sit up front. Joe, I’ll sit on your lap.” She crossed her arms, daring anyone to challenge her.

  “That’s fine too. I don’t care. I’ll get to sit next to Kevin.” She smiled.“Why don’t I sit next to Kevin?” Mark started and then remembered he wasn’t even going to be in the car. “Okay, no, never mind. How about you all decide who sits next to Kevin when I leave? I just came down here to tell you guys that you’re really loud and there are a lot of families that live here with little kids. It’s insensitive to be playing music so loudly at this time of the night.”

  “At this time of the night? What are you, 60?” Kevin laughed.

  “Kevin!” Lacey elbowed him and then giggled when he elbowed her back.

  "Lacey, can I talk to you alone for a minute?” Mark looked at the group and there was a collective eye-roll in addition to a collective sigh, and they all turned back to one another, probably mocking him.

  “Lacey,” he said as he dragged her away from the group by her elbow.

  “Ow!” She yanked her arm back when he stopped dragging her and looked at him.

  “Sorry, I forgot. I didn’t mean for you to come tumbling out of the car, by the way. I figured it would be locked. I was just trying to get your attention.” She rubbed her elbow and her petulant expression changed to one of innocence. “What happened to you? Why are you wearing that shirt as a dress? And why are you hanging out with college kids?”

  “Why do you say it like they’re so young?” she asked dubiously. “They’re only three years younger than me. I’m three years younger than you.”

  She had a good point.

  Mark looked at her. She was standing in the middle of a parking lot in a slightly longer-than-average dark gray T-shirt. It read “Hide Yo’ Kids.” You could barely see the words from the viral (albeit extremely dated) Youtube autotuned sensation, though, because of a thick set of chain-like necklaces that looked like they were strong enough to pull Lacey down to the ground. As if her outfit weren’t bad enough, she had high heels with all sorts of straps. She looked the ugliest Mark had ever seen her. He had to be missing something. Maybe this was like a prank thing.