by Mary Clay
"I can't believe it," Woody led off. "A death, and you're involved."
Penny Sue's eyes shot darts. "We are not involved! We merely found Abby and tried to revive her."
"Abby? So you know the lady?"
"She was an acquaintance, a scholar from last night's debate here at the library. Dr. Abigail Johnston. We found her buried in these books when we arrived this morning." I swept my arm in a wide arc at the scattered volumes. "That's the extent of our knowledge and involvement."
"I'll need statements."
"No problem," I said, edging toward the door with Penny Sue and Guthrie in tow. "You know where we live."
No sooner had the words left my mouth than a scream came from the back workroom. We raced toward the shriek and found Terry standing on a chair next to the open door of the book return room. She was stuttering and blubbering and pointing at a trashcan. "Snake! A snake came out of the books. I think it's a rattler!"
We stopped dead in our tracks. Woody pulled a small pistol from his ankle holster and aimed at the wastebasket. A moment later, the detective arrived. Woody quickly explained the problem. The detective snatched a larger garbage can from a corner of the room, dumped its contents and held it upside down. "Cover me," he instructed Woody.
From the sweat beading on Woody's forehead, I thought Penny Sue probably would do a better job, but I wasn't getting involved. I held my breath as the detective tiptoed over to the wastebasket, gave it a swift kick, and slammed the other can over the snake. I give the guy credit--he had terrific reflexes. From what I could tell from my brief glimpse, the snake was about two feet long and did indeed have the color and markings of a rattler. We could hear the snake thrashing around inside the can. Woody was not going to give the vicious viper a chance to escape. He quickly yanked the plug of an industrial quality paper shredder from the wall and plunked it down on top of the can. "That should hold him," Woody said with a satisfied grin, as if he alone had saved the day. No one smiled back. Even the detective gave Woody a disgusted glance as he strode to the return room.
"Do you suppose the snake bit Abby?" Penny Sue ventured.
Terry hopped down from the chair. "No, the book room door was closed. The snake came out when I peeked inside. A dumb kid probably put it down the return chute as a prank. Well, this prank isn't funny. Someone could have been killed!"
"Looks like someone was," the detective said, pointing at an arm protruding from a mound of books that had spilled from the two overturned book bins under the slots. The only thing visible was a hand and navy striped shirt cuff.
"Get a medic over here," Woody called.
The detective knelt and felt for a pulse. He shook his head and began clearing books from the body. Within minutes, the person's head was exposed. It was a man with curly brown hair. The officer felt his neck for a pulse and shook his head again.
Standing on tiptoes, Penny Sue gazed across Woody's shoulder. "Oh my gawd, it's the weird man who hangs out in the magazine section, and I think he's dead!"
Terry turned white as if she might faint. "Two?! Not two! How could this happen?"
Penny Sue and I were in a daze when we arrived at the condos. The sky was crystal clear and the sun had just peeked above the roof of our duplex. Normally, it promised to be an idyllic day. But things were hardly normal. The shock of finding two bodies had overloaded our circuits. We didn't speak the whole way home. I suppose we were both trying to make sense of the tragedy. Guthrie's VW Bus was already there when we arrived, and the door to my condo was ajar, which told me he was already filling Ruthie in on the details of the morning.
"Woody is a jerk," Penny Sue said. "Did you notice the way he looked at us? He assumed we were responsible or somehow mixed up in Abby's death. That whole forgiveness thing over his mother was a big crock. We should have pressed charges against the old biddy. Now it's too late."
I took the key from the ignition and opened my car door. "I'm afraid you're right. It doesn't seem like anything has changed with Woody. But the second body clearly didn't have anything to do with us. He can't possibly think we were mixed up in that death."
Penny Sue stared pensively. "Or the snake! I hate to be crass, but the other body probably saved us a lot of hassle."
"This is really bizarre," I said. "Under ordinary circumstances, I'd think the weird man killed Abby, but he was buried in books, too. What was he doing in the library after hours?"
"It was cold last night. He's probably homeless and hid in the book return room to stay warm. Then a snot-nosed kid pulled a prank with the snake, and the snake bit him. He tipped over the book bins when he struggled to avoid the snake and buried himself alive."
"That makes sense." I cringed. "A horrible way to go. Snakes give me the creeps."
"Me, too, but right now I'm worried about breaking the news about Abby to Kevin," Penny Sue said.
"Yeah," I mumbled, staring absently at her car and wishing I could forget the events of the morning. I canted my head at her big yellow Mercedes parked on the side of the driveway. "What's wrong with the Benz? You usually insist on driving since you hate my little VW."
"Something's wrong with the damned transmission, so I'm driving it as little as possible. It will cost a couple thousand to fix." Her jaw flexed. "Daddy has me on such a tight allowance until I sell my house, I'm really pinching pennies. I can't afford to get it fixed right now."
Tears welled up in her eyes. For a person who typically didn't give money a second thought and was used to buying designer clothes and spending like there was no tomorrow, being strapped for cash was traumatic. Throw in a couple of dead bodies, plus Woody's hassle, and you had the ingredients for a nervous breakdown. As wacky and outrageous as she could be, Penny Sue was a kind, generous person. I hated to see her go through so much embarrassment and pain over her investment loss.
"I'm sure Ruthie would lend you the money. After all, you'll get a lot from the sale of your house, it's being on a lake and everything."
"Not as much as you'd think. The real estate market is in the tank." Penny Sue sucked in air through her nose and let it out through her mouth. A yoga thing, I supposed. "I know Ruthie would lend me money, but I'm not going to ask. I'm bound and determined to prove to Daddy that I can stand on my own two feet. He thinks I'm a dizzy blonde, even if I'm not a real blonde. I'm going to prove him wrong." She squared her shoulders. "I'm going to show Daddy that I can make it on my own. I realize I haven't always behaved responsibly, but those days are over."
I had a hard time believing that, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. "You helped me after my divorce when I was down; I'm here for you. I'm sure Ruthie is, too."
Penny Sue nodded slightly. "I know you are, Leigh, and I really appreciate it. Right now I need your help to break the news to Kevin. Even though he and Abby split up ages ago, I sense he still has feelings for her."
I agreed. "First, let's consult Ruthie and Guthrie; then we'll all tell Kevin together."
Well, things didn't go exactly as planned. We headed inside my condo to formulate a strategy, only to find all three of them sitting on my sofa. It seems big mouth Guthrie had already spilled the beans. Ruthie got involved trying to calm both of them down. By the time we arrived, they were about cried out and fairly calm or exhausted.
Penny Sue knelt before Kevin and took his hands. "I tried to save her, Kevin. She was already gone."
A tear streaked down Kevin's face. "I know. Guthrie told me what you did."
Penny Sue squeezed his hands. "Can I do anything for you?"
Kevin swallowed hard. "Yes, call Mom. She and Abby's mother were friends. Mom will know how to get in touch with her. I think it's best that Mrs. Johnston hears the news from Mom rather than a strange policeman knocking on her door."
Penny Sue dropped his hands and backed away. "Sure, I'll do it right now." She all but ran out of the condo. I followed, sensing something was wrong. I caught Penny Sue as she angrily jerked open the screen door to her unit.
; "What's wrong?"
"He wants me to call his mother!" she said through tight lips.
My hands went up in a big deal motion. "So?"
"So?!" Penny Sue screeched. "His mother is the Queen of Shit!"
"Penny Sue! How can you talk that way about Kevin's mother?"
"I didn't give her the name Queen of Shit, she gave it to herself! Aunt Alice was the Director of a Sewer Department in New Jersey. She was the Queen of New Jersey shit."
"Hold on," I said, grabbing her arm. "What's the big deal?"
Penny Sue stared at me as if I were an idiot. "Aunt Alice is the black sheep of the family, Momma's older sister. She ran away after high school and married a Yankee from New Jersey, no less. No one spoke to her for years until she had Kevin; then a truce was called."
"What's so bad about New Jersey?" I asked.
"New Jersey--gangs, Italian mafia, Russian mob! To succeed in that environment a person has to be tough. For a woman to succeed, they have to be doubly tough. Let's just say that Aunt Alice, in spite of her upbringing, doesn't cotton to Southern ways. She's going to yell at me no matter what I say."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do." Penny Sue opened the screen door that emitted its telltale rusty twang.
I tagged along and waited on the couch while she found her aunt's phone number and dialed. The conversation was stilted, Penny Sue giving Alice minimal details. Just when I thought Penny Sue had pulled it off, the doorbell rang and a voice sounded from the doorway. "Penny Sue? Is Kevin Harrington here? I need to speak with him." It was Woody's voice.
Penny Sue cupped her hand around the phone and motioned for me to deal with Woody. "No, Alice. Everything is okay."
Woody had started down the hall by the time I reached him. "Penny Sue's on the phone," I whispered, hoping he'd take the hint. The dumbbell didn't get it.
"I just need to speak with Dr. Kevin Harrington. I was told he's Penny Sue's cousin and is staying here," Woody said loudly.
No amount of hand cupping could block Woody's statement, and Aunt Alice apparently had ears like a cat. "Who's that in the background?" Alice demanded so loudly I could hear her in the hall.
Penny Sue held the phone away from her ear and grimaced. "It's nothing important. The police are just going through the usual hoops for an unexplained death. You know, they're tracing Abby's activities for the last day or so."
"What do they want with Kevin? For that matter, what the hell was Abby doing down there?"
Penny Sue giggled nervously. "Abby and Kevin had a debate at the library last night."
"What?" Alice thundered. Woody and I both heard that word. "Why was that worthless bitch involved? I thought Kevin was debating his swishy old schoolmate, Wallow, or something."
"There was a last minute change. Abby took Willows' place."
"Hmph," then a long pause as Aunt Alice digested the last piece of information. "I'll go over to see Abby's mother right away. I have nothing against her. Then I'm packing the Caddy and coming down. Expect me tomorrow evening," Alice said in a steely voice. "I assume you can put me up."
"Yes ma'am, no problem." Penny Sue was ashen.
Alice continued. "You tell whoever was yelling in the background that I'm coming and I have connections. You know what I mean? You tell that guy to lighten up on Kevin, or he'll be sorry."
Penny Sue hung up the phone, visibly shaken. "Crap! Alice is coming."
Ignoring Penny Sue's obvious distress, Woody rattled on like the insensitive jerk that he was. "Where is Dr. Harrington?" he demanded again.
Penny Sue swung around and wagged her finger in Woody's face. "You have no idea what you just did. Unless you have a search warrant, you are trespassing, and the person on the phone was my Aunt Alice, Kevin's mother, who's from New Jersey. Got that? New Jersey!"
Woody shuffled uncomfortably but finally managed, "New Jersey. Is that supposed to be a threat of some kind?"
Penny Sue clenched her jaw. "No, that's a fact."
Chapter 4
While Woody interviewed Kevin in Penny Sue's condo, the rest of us brainstormed in mine. Penny Sue was fit to be tied that Woody had waltzed into her condo uninvited and overheard Aunt Alice refer to Abby as a worthless bitch. The fact that Alice would arrive the next day and planned to stay at Penny Sue's place didn't do much for her humor, either.
"I need a drink. Any scotch left?" Penny Sue asked, brushing past Ruthie and heading for my kitchen. Guthrie raised his hand like a first-grader. "I could use a drink, too. I have some at my place if you're out."
I gave them both a disapproving look, but headed for the kitchen. Who was I to judge? Alice wasn't my aunt, and they'd both had quite a shock that morning. I reached into the cabinet and retrieved the bottle of liquor. As I handed it to Penny Sue who was already shoveling ice into highball glasses, I realized I'd had a bad morning, too. Scotch was a little strong for me, but I surely deserved a glass of wine. While Penny Sue and Guthrie sat at the counter sipping their drinks, I poured wine for Ruthie and me. We sat on stools beside them.
"Since this is my condo, I'll lead off," I said.
"Okay," Penny Sue agreed. "But there is one thing I must ask first. Leigh, may I please stay with you? I'd have to move into the guestroom with Aunt Alice and let Kevin use the master. Even though the guestroom has twin beds, the thought of sharing it with Alice is more than I can stomach."
Unlike Penny Sue's condo which had a large master suite and one guestroom, my condo had three bedrooms. The master suite was smaller and space had been taken from the great room and owner's closet for a third bedroom. Both bedrooms were outfitted with a twin bed and shared a bath. Besides being beachfront, the layout and great price were major selling points for me. I had two grown children, Ann and Zack, Jr. The two extra bedrooms meant that I had a chance of getting them to visit at the same time and reuniting our family that had been torn apart by my rotten, money hiding, lap-dance fiend of an ex-husband. The fact that the previous owner was a friend of Penny Sue's and willing to hold the unit for me until my divorce settlement was finalized helped, too.
Ruthie had occupied one of my guestrooms since her father passed away. Both of her parents came from big money, and the house she shared with her widowed father after her divorce was a trendy mansion in Atlanta's Buckhead. As the only child, Ruthie inherited millions from both sides of the family. Excepting a penchant for simple, very expensive designer clothes and a Jaguar, Ruthie was as frugal as Penny Sue was extravagant. Of course, that dynamic was about to change, given Penny Sue's current financial circumstances. It was hard to believe, but Penny Sue might be forced to buy her clothes on sale at Talbots and Dillards with me.
"Of course you can stay here," I replied to Penny Sue. "Your father let me stay in his condo rent-free for months."
A tear welled up in Penny Sue's eye, and she took a gulp of her drink to hide it.
"You're welcome to stay with me, too," Guthrie added.
"What about Timothy?" Penny Sue asked.
Now Guthrie got teary eyed. Timothy was Guthrie's gorgeous, muscular boyfriend. They say opposites attract, but this was one pairing that was hard to figure. Timothy looked and acted like a man who'd stepped out of GQ. Guthrie typically looked like a person who'd stumbled in from a barn. "He's been transferred to Houston. How long depends on what happens to the space program."
Ruthie squeezed Guthrie's hand. "I'm so sorry."
I gave them the "halt" hand signal. "We've already had enough trauma and sadness for one day. Let's deal with our immediate problem; we'll grapple with the rest later. Agreed?"
Nods all around.
"As soon as Woody leaves, our immediate priority is to comfort Kevin," I continued.
Penny Sue perked up. "That's your department, Ruthie. You like Kevin and he likes you."
"I like Kevin," Guthrie mumbled into his drink.
"Okay, you're in charge of consoling Kevin," I said, emphasizing the statement with a hand chop. "We'll bring Kevin over here. Me
anwhile, Penny Sue, Ruthie, and I will go to her place, change the sheets, put out fresh towels and pack up Penny Sue's necessities. I assume Aunt Alice will stay in the master bedroom so Kevin won't have to relocate."
"Yes," Penny Sue said emphatically. "I don't want Kevin going through my underwear drawer."
Ruthie flashed a mean look. "Why did you say that? He'd never do such a thing. Kevin's not a weirdo."
Penny Sue held her glass up for a refill. Guthrie followed suit. I took the glasses and headed around the counter. Penny Sue glanced sidelong at Ruthie. "It's been a helluva day, okay? I don't know why I said that--it just came out. It didn't mean anything. When I think of it, I'd rather Kevin went through my underwear than Aunt Alice."
"What's wrong with Kevin's mother, Penny Sue?" Ruthie asked
"She was born in the South, but didn't take her manners to the North. Her husband was a wuss, so she had to wear the pants. She did well for herself and her family. But dealing with so many mafia types made her hard and tough. I know she had to do it to survive, but she's not a lot of fun to be around."
"Anybody home?" Kevin called from the front door.
"Sure, come on in," Ruthie and Guthrie shouted in unison.
Poor Kevin looked like death warmed over, as they say in the South. He took a stool next to Ruthie and folded his arms on the counter. He eyed Ruthie's wine. "I could use one of those."
"Of course." Penny Sue and I both hustled to the icebox, bumping into each other at its door. I finally stepped back and let Penny Sue take charge. Our drama queen had flipped into her School Marm persona. While I waited for her to serve Kevin, it occurred to me that the School Marm role might run on her mother's side of the family. Penny Sue had the trait, and it sounded like Aunt Alice did, too. Oh, joy. I might have to see a doctor about tranquilizers if my suspicion turned out to be accurate.
Penny Sue handed Kevin his wine and returned to her seat. As I put out a basket of chips and a plate of cheese and crackers, Kevin filled us in on his interview with Woody.