A Silent Prayer

by Samreen Ahsan

  “But I haven’t had the most erotic dessert of my life before.”

  “Erotic?” She giggles. “Sure, it was erotic for those boys.” She glances at me for a moment. I watch her face and contemplate such an enchanting creation by God. Yes, only He can create such perfection. “Do you have something to say, Adam?” How does she know I have something on my mind?

  I am looking at her, completely dazzled. “You are very beautiful.” That’s all I can say.

  “Besides that. There is something else on your mind.” She glances at me again.

  “If you know, why are you asking?”

  “I want you to say it.” She is still busy with the phone.

  “I read the message on your phone. I picked it up by mistake.”

  “I know. I saw that. Never mind.” She turns off her phone and puts it away on the nightstand.

  “Will you still go tomorrow?”

  “Why shouldn’t I? He can’t make me do anything against my will. The position he is in, I doubt he will mess with his career.” She snuggles down under the covers and continues. “One complaint is enough, Adam.” She smiles with confidence.

  “I trust you. You certainly know how to handle assholes.” She giggles and shifts her body to face me, resting her head on her arm.

  “Are all men like that? I mean assholes?” She questions me with sleepy eyes.

  “Most of them are, me included.”

  “No, I never thought of you like that. You are… different.” She speaks in a dreamy voice.

  “Different in what sense?”

  “You know the meaning of respect and abide by it. You treasure trust. I haven’t seen this characteristic in most men. They don’t trust, especially women.” I can see the resentment in her eyes.

  It is time to change the subject.

  “Tell me one thing. Does Satan create descendants like humans do?” She looks confused at my sudden change in topic.

  “Yes, he does. It is not mentioned anywhere in detail how they are created, or maybe I haven’t read it, but since they are created from a smokeless fire, I believe they must need a medium to spread the fire.” She goes silent for a moment. “The medium could be humans, also.”

  “How?”

  “The Satan dwells in us. Each individual has a demon inside himself. It is up to that person to suppress that demon, or not. I believe Satan takes humans as its medium to create its descendants.” She watches me uncertainly. “What makes you so interested in Satan?”

  “You made me curious. That night when you asked me who I am—an angel or a ghost in disguise. I had no knowledge of either of them, so I wanted to know all about it.”

  “I don’t know everything.”

  “But you know enough to explain it to me.” I look at her intently and continue. “So, do you really think they exist? I mean, the Jinn?”

  “Of course they do. What makes you believe they don’t?” She blinks a couple of times, to focus on me.

  “I believe what I see. If I haven’t seen them, how do you expect me to believe in their existence? That’s why I don’t even believe in gossip, if I don’t hear it with my own ears.”

  “You don’t see heat but you still know it exists, don’t you?”

  “But I feel heat. I don’t feel these creatures exist.” I look deeply into her eyes.

  She takes a deep breath and straightens herself. “You will feel it, Adam… one day you will.”

  We don’t speak after that, but I keep watching her until she closes her eyes and falls into sleep.

  * * *

  In the middle of the night, around 3 a.m., I wake up to get water and find Rania missing. I decide she must have gone downstairs, but I can’t find her anywhere. Her shoes and jacket are still there, and the room is locked from the inside, so she must be here. I go back to the bedroom to get my phone and call her, but her phone is still on the bedside table. I sneak into the washroom, though it is dark, to see if she’s in there.

  No sign of her.

  I’m starting to get worried. I sit at the corner of the bed, wondering where she could be, when I see the curtains across the balcony door are parted. I rush over and open the curtains, to see Rania standing outside in the freezing cold. I open the door and a cold gust of wind hits my body.

  “What the hell are you doing outside?” I yell, and pull her inside the room, shutting the door after us. She stands like a stone, not responding to me at all. “How long were you out there? Are you fucking crazy? You’ll get frostbite.” I rub her arms quickly to warm her, but her eyes are wide and empty. It is the same emptiness as when I dried her hair the other night. What astonishes me, though, is that when I touch her hands, her body temperature is normal, warmer than me. I touch her face, and that’s warm as well. It’s like she hasn’t been outside at all.

  Am I dreaming? But this is too real for a dream. I touch her bare feet and they are also not cold. This temperature can freeze a person within seconds, and it took me over ten minutes to search the suite. She looks toward the blank wall and I follow her gaze, but am unable to work out what she’s looking at. She walks mutely toward the bed, and I follow. “Rania, will you please tell me what were you doing outside?” She doesn’t respond at all. She reaches the bed, crawls under the comforter and closes her eyes.

  What was that?

  I lie back down on my side of the bed and look at her. She’s sleeping peacefully, as if she never woke up at all. She is becoming more of a mystery to me, day by day. There is something she’s hiding from me. I have no choice but to wait for her to reveal all her secrets to me. With all these wild thoughts running through my head, I close the lamp and try to sleep again.

  AN UNINVITED GUEST

  ♀

  My phone alarm wakes me up at 6:30 a.m. Adam is already awake; I can hear the shower running. I sit up, wondering about Murray’s message last night. I am glad Adam has placed his trust in me and will let me deal with Ethan Murray on my own. He has tortured Adam enough, I will not let him do it anymore. Such a prick!

  Adam has protected me; it is my turn to protect him from the demons. He steps out of the washroom with just the towel wrapped around his wet body, his hair dripping water seductively over his broad shoulders. I watch the strong muscles of his arms and wonder how many women have touched his nude body. I see his chest move as he breathes, and wonder how many women have laid their heads on it. I imagine crossing that line—a thin, fine line between friendship and intimacy. The forbidden fruit is waiting for me. I crave him as much as he craves me. In my despair, I don’t realize he is watching me watching him. As he takes his clothes out of his bag, he says, “You want to stay in the room?” Ah, yes, I want to savor this sweet, forbidden fruit.

  “No… umm, I am getting up. I was waiting for you to come out.” Yes, he is forbidden.

  “You could still stay. I’m not hiding anything from you.” He sounds sarcastic. He walks over and sits next to me. He has a perfect physique, like a model. “Stop hiding things from me, Rania.” He holds my face in his hands. I tilt my eyebrows, not sure what he is asking. “Don’t you think we have traveled enough together to share ourselves?” He looks at me seductively. I feel suddenly uncomfortable and move my face a bit away from his touch. “Please, tell me what happened last night,” he almost whispers.

  “Last night?”

  “What were you doing out on the balcony in this weather?”

  I look at him curiously. “Adam, I have to get ready. I don’t have time to listen to your jokes.” I stand up from the bed, but he grabs me firmly by my arm.

  “Answer me, Rania. What were you doing outside?”

  I laugh at Adam’s question and shake my head. “You must be dreaming, Adam. Who would stand outside in this weather?”

  “No, Rania. I was not dreaming. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t find you. Then, I saw th
ose curtains were partly open, and you were standing outside, watching the sky blankly. I pulled you in right away because it was fucking cold out there.”

  “You mean there? Those curtains?” I point to the golden drapes. He nods in agreement. “You were dreaming, my dear. There is no balcony in this room.”

  “Of course there is,” he says, going to the window and drawing the curtains. He stops in shock. There is only a window behind them. He looks outside to make sure, and shakes his head in distress. “There was a door here. I am damn sure about it.” He looks completely worn out. “I swear, Rania, there was a fucking door. It was too real for a dream.”

  “I would have believed you, Adam, but there’s no balcony.” I stand up from the bed and head toward the washroom, leaving him perplexed.

  When I come out ten minutes later, I find breakfast waiting. I decide to go with the pancakes, the same as Adam.

  “How was your television interview? You only told me a little on the phone.”

  “It was good. They were more interested in my personal life. I guess Ethan Murray has leaked the news—on my end, no one but Ali knows I’m here.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  “I need to find out. I am just concerned that he knows too much about our relationship.” He pauses for a moment. “I mean… that we are hiding it from the media, because of your father.” Adam’s news has disturbed me. He might be right. If Murray finds out we are trying to hide anything, he will make it public and spoil everything. Adam reads my expression and tries to comfort me. “I don’t think he knows much, unless he has a personal contact with Ben. I’ll find out if he knows Ben, other than professionally. But I highly doubt it. Ben would have called you by now, to confirm if I’m with you.”

  “So, what exactly did they ask you?”

  “They wanted to know what brought me to Edmonton. I told them I’m interested in expanding my business outside Ontario, so they wanted to know if my girlfriend is also here.” He mentions it casually, as if it isn’t worth talking about. “I didn’t tell them anything.” He puts a bite of pancake in his mouth. “Money does wonders, my dear. The reporter got enough money to keep his mouth shut. I didn’t let them record anything.”

  “So, the interview will never appear on television?” He smiles with an assurance that I have nothing to worry about.

  “But be careful with Ethan Murray,” Adam warns. “He is venomous. You won’t see him coming until he’s already hurt you.”

  “Then, he doesn’t know me.” I smile with confidence. “You know, Adam, some people have a lust of being talked about all the time, either good or bad. They enjoy being gossiped about. Ethan Murray is one of them—his actions yesterday prove it. He wanted us to argue about him, even when he wasn’t here.” I look deeply into Adam’s eyes, as he focuses on my words. “I will not give him that satisfaction. I will make him believe that we never talked about him, and yesterday’s confrontation didn’t bother us.” I put my hands over his to reassure him. “Stop worrying about him. You can trust me on that.”

  “You are so unpredictable, Rania.” He looks at me in surprise. With that, I continue my breakfast, but Adam keeps watching me for the rest of the meal.

  * * *

  We don’t speak again until he drops me outside the hotel. “Will you be okay?”

  “Yes, I will. Don’t worry. I will see you this evening.”

  “Let me know if that sleazeball tries to get cozy with you.” Adam smirks at me. I giggle back at him, wondering when he will grow up.

  I go through the grand lobby and head toward the big conference hall. After getting my ID checked, I proceed to the training area and sit down, waiting for our trainer to come. I am surprised to find out that Ethan Murray will be conducting today’s session. Oh crap! Adam will definitely freak out. Ethan waves hi from a distance, to maintain his professionalism in front of the rest of the trainees. Our session starts with his noting that our previous trainer is ill, and he will be conducting today’s sessions. During the entire session, he visits each trainee one by one, very professionally, but when he gets to me, he deliberately stands too close to me. I try to act cool and pretend it doesn’t bother me. After three hours, one of the guys mentions that we need a lunch break. Immediately, Ethan Murray is at my side.

  “You will do lunch with me. I need to talk to you,” he whispers in my ear, but his invitation sounds more like a command. I don’t say anything in return, as I want to hear what he has to say.

  We don’t speak until we’re seated in the same restaurant as yesterday.

  “You didn’t reply to my text message.” He looks at me through his glasses.

  “You didn’t ask anything. It was a statement.” I pause for a moment and then add, “But thank you. It was quite flattering.” I fake a smile.

  “You should be used to it by now. Doesn’t your boyfriend compliment you?”

  “He has very unique ways of complimenting me, Mr. Murray.” I adjust my scarf. “That’s what makes him different from all other men.” Murray’s gaze gets deeper, a hint of jealousy in his eyes. I already see defeat in him. Bring it on, you moron! “You said you wanted to talk, Mr. Murray? Is it about the job? I haven’t decided yet. It will be mine and Adam’s mutual decision.”

  “Did you discuss it with him?”

  “Yes, of course. He told me it’s totally my decision, but I’m leaving it up to him to decide. After all, he means everything to me.” I sound like a teenage girl who is madly in love with her boyfriend, but I have to act like this to make him believe that his shitty actions cannot harm Adam and it was a stupid idea for him to come after me with his pervert mind.

  “You guys plan to get married?”

  “I am sorry, Mr. Murray. That’s a very personal question, and I would rather not answer it.” Buzz off, you prick.

  “You are a very special girl, Rania. I have no grudge against Adam, but he is not going to marry you. He uses women for his pleasure.” His tone is serious. So, the pervert can act well too. “You need a person who can give you love, respect and trust. Adam is not your type.”

  “And what makes you different from him?” I tilt one of my eyebrows and ask sarcastically. His face goes pale, as if I have caught him red-handed. “Mr. Murray, I appreciate your concern, but I am still getting the love, respect and trust, even if he is getting the pleasure.” Oh my God! I sound like a whore.

  Murray starts to get really uncomfortable. He must have gotten the hint that I know something unpleasant about him.

  “I am just warning you. Adam is not what he seems to be. He is very dangerous, Rania.” Murray’s eyes burn like fire. “I don’t know what he has told you about me and I really don’t care. I want you to stay safe and watch your step.”

  “I have always been attracted to danger. And just for your information, we don’t discuss other people when we are together. When it is us, it is just us.” I take a sip of water. “So, if you think that we discussed you, it never happened.”

  “He doesn’t love you, Rania. You deserve better.”

  “As I said, Mr. Murray, I appreciate your concern, but trust me, I will not ask anyone if he loves me or not. I will decide for myself.”

  “Do you think he loves you?” He looks at me directly in the eyes, over his glasses.

  “Love is a very personal feeling, Mr. Murray. I would rather not discuss it with a person who has no experience in it.” I leave my seat, but he stops me.

  “We haven’t ordered lunch yet.” He looks around to call a waiter.

  “Thanks for inviting me, but I am not hungry today. Have a nice day, Mr. Murray.”

  I terminate our conversation, tired of his idiotic questions. As I walk out of the restaurant, I feel his eyes on me, all the way to the door.

  PARANORMAL

  ♂

  Finally, the long day has ended and it’s time for me to pick
up Rania. I knew she would be busy the whole day, so I didn’t bother texting her, but I am curious whether she talked to Ethan Murray. I kept myself busy visiting some promising properties in the province of Alberta to figure out the business aspect with local builders. I didn’t realize I would miss her company so badly. She is making me addicted to her, and I’m enjoying this addiction more than anything else in the world. I have never wanted anything so much as I want to see her smiling, sitting next to me and doing silly things like she did yesterday at the ice cream parlor. She is unpredictable, yet mesmerizing in her own way. Her personality changes startle me. On one hand, she is a fun-loving girl who enjoys all the little pleasures of life, and on the other hand I have seen her crying and screaming from her nightmares. I look up at the sky, wondering if God actually exists and if He is watching me. I pass a message to Him. Please take away all her pain. She deserves better than nightmares.

  I reach the hotel lobby, where people are coming out of the conference hall. I wait for ten minutes, then try to call her. I get no response, so I head over to security.

  “Hello. I’m here to pick up Miss Rania Ahmed. I can’t reach her on her phone. I would appreciate it if you could send someone inside to see if she’s still in a training session.”

  The security officer checks her name in his system and looks at me. “She left around 1 p.m.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, definitely. We have her security badge. She didn’t come back after returning her badge.” This troubles me. Why didn’t she tell me she was leaving early?

  I call her again, but she still doesn’t respond. I call our hotel and they inform me that she already came in. I rush back to the hotel. When I reach the room, the main level is empty. I see her jacket and handbag on one of the chairs. I sneak into her handbag and see her phone, along with the room access card, and her phone is turned off. I head upstairs to look for her, but to my surprise, she isn’t there. I have a feeling of déjà vu, so I head for the golden drapes, hoping to find a balcony, but there is only a window there. I sit on the chaise and wonder what’s going on with me lately.